I struggle through many things. Most of them stem from very personal events and some of them are from basic solvable problems. I experience knee-scraping injuries and I experience traumatic scars. It is very hard for me to pick myself up when I find myself on the hard concrete.
I value the people who understand and treat me like a normal person. People who overlook my background and my disabilities. People who are sensitive enough to avoid my triggers and are honest with their intentions towards me and other people. I value them the most.
Just want to stop and say, God You're good! And for everyone: If you feel like you are in a dark time, like God is not able or willing to answer your prayers and the darkness seems too much to bear, Just know that God can and will answer your prayers. He asks us to ask in faith. Sometimes thats a broken heart cry of faith. Ask God and keep on asking, pester Him like the widow in Jesus' parable about the unjust judge, and you will "be avenged", or rather, answered. Pray, and let God calm your anxiety once you have done all you can do.
Reach out to people when you think they need a hand, an ear, or a shoulder. You never know what kind of suffering they go through on a daily basis. You don't know what they hide underneath their grins and laughter. You only know what they want you to know.
Shortest month of the year and also perhaps the coldest month around here. February…well, let’s cut the tension now and say that nothing much happened. But still the question remains…how am I doing on my resolutions?!
WRITE MORE
So…not only did I write way less than during January, I tempted fate by stating that I hadn’t missed a blog post yet! And then I missed some. I just legitimately didn’t know what day it was. I have been BAD with this and I’m really honestly very disappointed in myself. I don’t have an excuse for it either; I just need to DO it. I think part of my problem is that I always feel like I have to go big or do nothing at all. If I write, it might as well be worthwhile. I wouldn’t feel good about writing every day if I only wrote a sentence or two a day, you know? So it goes without saying that my first novel that I plan to publish isn’t done yet; on a more positive note though, I am trying out a very different type of writing that I hope to share with you all soon.
GET SHIT PUBLISHED
I have nothing to report on this. Not even any research done on what might be the best publishers or anything like that. I can at least aim to do that for March, right? Hold me to it!
BETTER PAYING EMPLOYMENT
Heh. And here I thought that going in early to get a few more hours on my paycheck was bad…This month brought with me a huge surge in hours right at the end of the month…as ten-hour overnight shifts. Which sucked. Work seems like it’s about to slow down now too, so I can perhaps up my search and get something better. THAT is something I feel extremely motivated to do for March. Especially since, you know, so many other resolutions are tied to it.
LIVING ON MY OWN
No comment, I guess. I mean, nowadays I pretty much housesit on the weekends but it’s not quite living on your own, now is it?
COOKING
Kinda slipping on this one as well. If anything, I aim to at least make SOMETHING edible that requires using such bizarre devices as…measuring cups and…WHISKS!
EAT HEALTHIER/EXERCISE, ETC.
Weather was…awful for February, with constant subzero weather and just being unpleasant all around. Work continues to push me a bit physically, but as it warms up I’ll have to start jogging or biking or…something. And while for the most part I think I eat pretty healthy…let’s just say I ate a TON of junk during those night shifts. Ugh.
BE MORE OUTGOING
Same story as January, really. Way too cold to do things. But I DID try! My cousin’s baby shower was going to be a big family thing…and then she had her baby a month early, which offset plans to go visit. I try, but things just don’t work out that way. (Baby is lovely, BTW)
PLAY MORE GAMES ON DIFFERENT CONSOLES
Again, no PlayStation (though I WAS tempted with an impulse buy), but I am currently working on playing through several games, two of which I plan on reviewing in the same post, as they have much in common. Just to give some hints…they’re both old games that many consider the best in their respective series, but I just never played them. Look forward to those at some point. Haven’t quite gotten to Punch Out!! or Metroid Prime though…but that’s mostly because something ELSE has stepped up to the plate.
BEAT XENOBLADE
Looks like we don’t have a choice! Xenoblade Chronicles X hits Japan at the end of April, so I have GOT to get started with the Wii one, eh? Well, I have…and am nearly back up to where I left off all those years ago. Xenoblade Chronicles is a massive game, one that I’d probably NEVER fully complete but I think I can get through the base game before X hits in Japan if I try. I’m having fun relearning and remembering this early part of the game…but very soon it’ll be into the unknown! I hope to do a little something special involving Xenoblade and two other games to count down to X launching. Let’s not lose our heads, though!
BE POSITIVE
Not gonna lie, I got VERY down in the dumps as February wore on. Biting cold, frustration at work, overnight shifts that left me unhinged…yeah, it wasn’t a good time. That being said, I survived it all and am feeling motivated to take control and better myself so….that’s something right? Oh and Kill la Kill has started airing on Toonami but…still…kinda dislike it strongly. I’m TRYING.
ROMANCE?!
No comment. Again. And during Valentine’s Day no less!
NEW RESOLUTION APPROACHING: READ MORE
I fully blame the cold for this. My library isn’t actually that far away but…when you’re high temperature for a given week is MAYBE in the single digits you don’t want to do ANYTHING you don’t absolutely have to do. I pledge to get my library card in March though! And maybe at least get one book? Let’s not be hasty!
I wish I had done more in February. It’s a short, miserable month, but with March comes the first signs of spring so…surely nowhere to go but up, right?! I have a LOT of resolutions and trying to tackle them all at the same time is doomed for failure, so I think it’s best to pick a few out and work more on those resolutions in a given month than go all in. So for this month at least…let’s read, cook a bit and WRITE. WRITE. WRITE. Oh yeah and at the very least do a little homework on publishing and all that. And get a better job. Yeah, that’s not a tall order. Hear that, future me?! And as always, good luck to all of you out there as you hopefully continue to be masters of your domains and conquer those resolutions!
You know, it gets tiring trying to ask someone how they've been, after months of no communication, only to receive sarcastic comments. I don't want your snide remark about my recent activities. I just wanted to talk to you. See how you're doing, ya know? Cause at the end of the day, I'm rooting for you to make it.
