#so tread lightly

[rains-inky-mind]

Want to see the silly little guys that I made out of string?

Yes

No

Loser

Voting ended onApr 4, 2024

[forgottenbones]

Considered highly offensive by many at the time, the sketches primarily took the form of bizarre, sometime drunken streams of consciousness led by Cook, with interjections from Moore. Memorable moments from the records include Clive claiming that the worst job he ever had was retrieving lobsters from Jayne Mansfield's arsehole, Derek claiming his worst job was cleaning up Winston Churchill's bogeys (leading the pair to conclude that the Titanic was one such bogey), Clive claiming that he was sexually aroused by the sight of a deceased Pope lying in state, Derek's account of a stranger accosting him and the ensuing profanity-laden conversation between them, followed by Clive's reminiscence of viciously assaulting a man who had said "Hello" to him at a football match, and a horse-racing 'commentary' featuring horses given the names of sexual organs, often in their vulgar forms.

[...]

"Peter Cook and Dudley Moore were appearing on Broadway in the show "Good Evening" when they first happened upon two brilliant new talents. Derek and Clive were working at the time in the toilets of the British Trade Centre. Cook and Moore were quick to see that they had made a major discovery and after much persuasion, including a packet of Craven A and a bottle of Tizer, Derek and Clive agreed to perform at the Electric Lady Studios. With growing assurance they appeared in front of a small, invited audience (Dudley Moore). The record you have bought is a mixture of the two evenings. Once they had mastered which end of the microphone to talk into, Derek and Clive gained enormously in confidence. Their method is basically a stream of unconsciousness, a mixture of Dylan Thomas and Mae West, with overtones of Goethe. At a time when British influence is declining throughout the world, Derek and Clive represent welcome evidence of what this great country could be. They are a ray of hope on a darkening horizon. Their philosophy is both an inspiration to youth and hope for the senile. On this record they discuss fully and frankly the major problems confronting a confused world."

Sir!

Guinness Book of Records

At The Races "Derek and Clive * Horse Racing

A bit of light relief from Mullis Partners

At the races

[saltpepperbeard]

Omg OMG omg you’re writing again. I’m gonna need you to follow up on your idea where she meets up with josh and tells him about her relationship issues and stuff. I’m dying for it Jodi. Odvdjhdksbddjdb joshifer back for the win

When I have to clump anon asks together since they all pertain to the same thing/I wouldn’t be surprised if they were one VERY passionate person lmao.

HERE’S THE DEALIO/TEA, SIS: My motivation is very fragile and yelling at it will Scare It Away lol. I was itching to attempt to write a Joshifer full length recently, and with some talking to @aihodineverlark, I MIGHT meld Long Overdue into my full length, because it kind of follows the same path I was going to take.

HOWEVER, I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up, because I know going back to college will do a NUMBER on my urge to write. It’s my literal last semester too lol so my mind is going to be focused on work and graduation tbh. So I jUST.

It’s tempting. It’s so so tempting. But genuinely, idk if I’ll be able to do it. And yes yes I know, I could always just write a sequel like you/you guys are begging me to do lol, bUT LIKE…I FEEL LIKE A SEQUEL WILL TURN INTO ANOTHER SEQUEL SO IT’S LIKE…BETTER JUST WRITE A FULL LENGTH IF THAT IS INDEED THE CASE.

I’m going to go back to my drawing board and see if my motivation hops to it. I think if I did write a full length again, I’d write pretty much all the chapters before publishing. Or make sure I had a CLEAR map before staring work. Because I don’t want to start publishing chapters only for it to completely die when I head back to school.

IDK IF THIS OL’ GIRL HAS IT IN HER AKDLSAJLA

[5om8ra]

I want you to watch carefully, I'm about to piss off Tentacle Trenchcoat.

I’m watching. 

[baggy-holmes]

Are you staying single or would you date a guy off tumblr?

depends on the guy, would prefer someone irl if we’re being honest here lol

[lxvenderhxzehv]

🤫  –– Are you able to keep a secret? We all know everyone has a person they tell everything to, other people’s secrets included: who’s that person for you? (sammie)

"It really depends on the secret and the person. If I knew someone was going to get hurt I'm not going to hesitate to tell them. Usually though if someone specifically tells me not to say anything I won't. The only person I would blab to was my manager because she and I love a good tea time."

[pmrashford]

Also my gf says that’s bitchy of you to send

[your-thighness]

you seem like a cool chick, i wouldn't mind getting to know you but I also wouldn't mind fucking you...is that weird?? educate me if need be

boo this is tumblr, i'd be offended if you didn't wanna fuck me