seen from United Kingdom
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from China
seen from China
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from South Korea
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from Germany
seen from China
seen from Germany
seen from Canada
seen from China
So I’ve been searching our house- top to bottom- for anything that is out of place. I want to have a clean environment so that there are less hiding spots.
When I’m stressed or drinking I always seem to have alcohol magically appear from some random place. I cannot keep having hidden outlets.
I made it through last night. I just have to make it through today so I can claim my week. I’m not badass or anything, just healthier.
I swore I wasn’t going to look but I looked.
Wow.
I really thought I made it a week and today marks day 5. 6 is a good number though. 6 is a mark, because 7 is a week! I got this. One whole week. Luckily there are only 4.5 weeks in a month!
When I make it to 30 days I will be happy.
When I make 60 days I’ll feel accomplished.
When I make 90 days I will celebrate!
But as far as today, I’m going to focus on making my mark!
Even with sheer boredom and being alone I have decided not to drink. I’m slightly proud.
Hearing annoying news. Trigger.
Glad I decided to blog instead of drink… Guess we shall see if I last…
I found a hidden bottle.
Thought I drank the last of the alcohol in the house so i wouldn’t have the urge to take a little sip. Guess I can see if it’s true. To catch you up, I thought that I could just buy “one more” bottle- just to keep at the house. With this bottle, I was supposed to be able to test myself and know that I was strong enough. I decided not to see any friends the other night because I already know how that person is, so I decided that I don’t need someone around who’s going to try to pressure me into hurting myself (drinking). Guess I lost a friend. Back to my Temptation Bottle that appeared. I can make it.
I guess we don’t have to count days, but we can see if I dabble with temptation. Guess I have to stay busy.
Until my next next drink think.
I kinda want a drink but I’m not sure why…
I miss drinking but I don’t know what I miss. I wish I could explain it but I cannot. More so a “reward” for not drinking but that would cancel out why I’m celebrating, so I guess celebrate another way.
Not really sure on how I would celebrate, but then again, what am I really celebrating? Being healthy? Caring about myself? Not killing myself faster by consuming alcohol every day? I really deserve a cookie or a gold star for not hurting myself, I guess? That’s pretty pathetic. So no, I guess there is no reason to celebrate, especially not by having a drink. I guess I would get life instead of a cookie; which in my heart I know is a better accolade.
Another day down!
I may just get the hang of this. Not really sure how many days that’s been, but I can add a one to it today!
My yesterday self should be jealous that my today’s self is healthier and happier.
So far so good… but I’m going to be hanging out with a friend who drinks tonight…
Guess I have to suck it up and drink juice all night. Joy.
If I can do it tonight, I can do it. I’ve made it almost a week (which may not seem like a lot of time to some, but that’s a big accomplishment!)
If I remember it takes more days to make a week than weeks take for months, then I can just keep trying to add my weeks, and it doesn’t feel like forever. Hearing “never again” and “can’t do/drink” can be a desolating feeling. Once you make your first month, you’re in the league. So… just for today, I’m going to stay sober so I can add this day to my sober journey.
I don’t really have any “support” just people yelling at me and telling me to stop, or people just calling me an alcoholic. Kinda sucks to be honest. Positive motivation brings positive results. I’d rather hear, “i’m proud of you for deciding to not be drunk all the time, every day”, opposed to, “I know you’re going to drink.” Everyone is different though, so I can only say MY preferences.
I prefer to stop counting days (hence there isn’t any day counters anymore) because it seems like a lot of pressure. Let me enjoy my day, and just for today, my present of presence, I will enjoy all of it- sober.
someone be my friend pls, i'm so over being a hermit 99% of the time
