#soft discipline

[glowettee]

✧・゜: self-discipline doesn't mean hating yourself into action :・゜✧:・゜✧

hey lovelies! ✧

i've been thinking about this a lot lately… how did we all collectively decide that being mean to ourselves was somehow the path to getting things done? like, who started this toxic rumor that self-discipline means internal screaming and punishment? because honestly? i spent years believing that the only way to accomplish anything was through this weird self-bullying technique and it was literally the least effective approach ever.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the wake-up call ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

last semester i hit a wall with my essay project. i had been doing that thing where you stare at your laptop, call yourself lazy in your head, promise to work for 8 straight hours to "make up for it," then get overwhelmed and watch netflix instead. but one night at like 2am (why do all realizations happen at 2am??) i wondered what would happen if i just… stopped being mean to myself about it?

what if self-discipline was actually about being the most understanding friend to yourself instead of the worst drill sergeant?

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ what actually works ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

start ridiculously small, i'm talking embarrassingly tiny steps. want to write that paper? commit to just opening the document and typing a single sentence. need to clean your space? just put away three things. the magic is that once you start, continuing feels so much easier.

create environments that make things easier, not harder. i rearranged my desk so everything i need is within reach and visible. stopped trying to work in my bed (even though it's so comfy) because my brain associates it with sleep and tiktok scrolling.

acknowledge the resistance instead of fighting it. when i feel that "i don't wanna" feeling, i literally say to myself "i hear you, and it makes sense you feel that way. what's one tiny piece we could do?" talking to myself like i'm my own bestie changed everything.

use curiosity instead of judgment. instead of "why am i so lazy?" (which never helps), try "i wonder what's making this hard for me right now?" sometimes the answer surprises you. maybe you're actually just hungry or need better lighting.

build in rest BEFORE you crash. i started scheduling actual breaks before i felt desperate for them, and somehow i get more done? it's like my brain knows it's not going to be held hostage forever.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the permission slip approach ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

my favorite technique lately has been what i call "permission slip productivity" where i literally write myself little notes giving permission to:

work imperfectly (first drafts can be messy!)

take breaks without guilt

change my approach if something isn't working

celebrate small progress instead of only the end result

acknowledge when something is genuinely difficult

there's something so powerful about physically writing yourself permission. it sounds silly but it works because it interrupts that mean inner voice that's been programmed into us.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ the results speak for themselves ･:࿔ೃ.⋆

the wildest part? i actually get MORE done now that i've stopped the self-hate productivity method. turns out your brain works better when it's not being constantly criticized? who knew!

my essay (very big essay) got finished early. my room stays cleaner. i actually enjoy my study sessions now instead of dreading them. and most importantly, i don't feel that heavy cloud of shame following me around everywhere.

self-discipline isn't forcing yourself through misery, it's creating systems that work WITH your natural tendencies, not against them. it's about making things easier, not harder. it's about treating yourself like someone you actually care about.

and maybe the real glow-up isn't just checking things off your to-do list, but doing it without sacrificing your relationship with yourself in the process.

what about you? have you been trying to hate yourself into productivity? might be time for a gentler approach. you deserve that kindness from yourself. (and honestly? it just works better.)

xoxo, mindy 🤍

[glowettee]

✧・゜: 8 rules i live by now that i used to ignore :・゜✧

hey lovelies,

i used to read endless lists of “rules to live by” and think: okay… cute, but not realistic. half of them felt like fake-deep quotes you’d see under a picture of matcha. i would save them, forget them, and go right back to being overwhelmed, over-giving, under-glowing.

but now? i’ve lived through enough messes, heartbreaks, girlhood grief, and glow-ups to actually have a few rules that changed me. not from books. from living. and they’re not perfect. they’re evolving. but they hold me.

here are the 8 i keep coming back to, the ones i used to scroll past, roll my eyes at, or ignore completely. now i live by them like they’re law.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ 1. never beg for energy that should flow ･:⋆.ೃ࿔:

attention, love, clarity, respect, if i have to chase it, it’s not for me. if i have to ask more than once, it’s not aligned. i used to beg people to just see me. now i just see myself, and the right ones meet me there.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ 2. if it costs your peace, it's too expensive ⋆.ೃ࿔:

i used to say yes to everything. every plan. every favor. every text at 2am. it made me anxious, resentful, not present. now if it disrupts my nervous system, i pause. peace is my new currency. i don’t overspend.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ 3. repetition is the real magic ･:⋆.ೃ࿔:

i always wanted a “transformation.” a big life shift. but change came from boring, beautiful repetition. brushing my hair every night. drinking water. journaling even when i didn’t feel like it. habits that say “i love myself” in whispers, not screams.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ 4. people reveal themselves in how they handle your softness ･:⋆.ೃ࿔:

i used to shrink when people laughed at my sensitivity. now i watch. softness is a test. if someone flinches at my gentleness, they’re not strong enough to hold me. my softness isn’t fragile. it’s divine.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ 5. being “low maintenance” is not a personality trait ･:⋆.ೃ࿔:

i used to pride myself on needing nothing. like it made me cooler to never ask for help, care, compliments, anything. it didn’t. it made me empty. now i let myself need. i let myself want. i let myself glow. and i still don’t owe anyone an explanation.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ 6. treat your space like it’s part of your nervous system ･⋆.ೃ࿔:

messy room = messy head. i used to ignore it and try to “push through.” but now i start with the space. light a candle. fold the blanket. open a window. your room talks to your body. make it speak gently.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ 7. the version of you that you admire already exists ⋆.ೃ࿔:

i used to obsess over becoming “her.” the glow girl, the soft girl, the mysterious coquette. but the truth is? she’s just a version of me that’s consistent. who’s grounded. who’s unbothered. i already am her, when i stop abandoning myself.

⋆.ೃ࿔:･ 8. protect your energy like it’s sacred (because it is) ･:⋆.ೃ࿔:

i used to leak energy. over-explaining myself. apologizing constantly. chasing closure. posting for validation. now i pull it back. protect it. not out of fear, out of reverence. i’m not hard to reach, but i am hard to access fully. and that’s how it should be.

you don’t have to follow all of these. but maybe one of them is exactly what you needed to hear today.

you’re allowed to choose new rules. you’re allowed to rewrite the way you show up. every single day is a chance to live more like the version of you you miss.

keep glowing. keep choosing yourself. it’s working, even if it’s quiet.

xoxo, mindy 🤍

[glowettee]

💌 glowettee hotline: issue #001: navigating cliquey vibes: finding your light in chilly uni halls

(some text blocked in favor of anon's privacy reasons <3)

welcome to the very first edition of glowettee hotline, where we fix your study slumps, productivity spirals, and it-girl dilemmas with a mix of soft discipline, coquette motivation, and glowettee philosophies.

i’ve been obsessed with the idea of creating a space where we can romanticize self-improvement, push ourselves academically, and embrace that girl energy, without the burnout. and after receiving 17 (!!) submissions already, i know we’re onto something magical. love you all <3 - mindy

hi darling, hope you're having a lovely, wonderful day!!

i'm so excited you reached out with your q today, because i literally know how challenging it can be to feel adrift in a sea of cliquey vibes at uni. it really sucks when you're surrounded by friendly faces in one circle but then find yourself in classes where almost everyone else seems distant, unwelcoming, or even downright snobby. i totally understand the weight of feeling unsupported especially during group work or oral presentations. so, let’s chat through some super detailed strategies to help you not only survive but thrive rn in these tricky social settings.

navigating cliquey vibes: finding your light in chilly uni halls

by mindy @glowettee (glowettee hotline, submit here for personal advice: https://bit.ly/glowetteehotline)

⋆. 𐙚 ˚appreciating your core circle & celebrating your uniqueness⋆. 𐙚 ˚

firstly, your core friend group is such a precious gem. remember, having a close-knit set of people who know and love you is more important than being universally liked. here’s how to make the most of your supportive tribe:

• before tough classes or presentations, lean on your close friends. even a quick pep talk or a smile exchanged across the room can boost your confidence. • use your circle as a sounding board for your ideas. they can help you rehearse presentations or give you tips on how to navigate group assignments. • celebrate your wins together. even if it’s after a brilliant group discussion or just overcoming a day that felt isolating, take some time to share those moments. • remind yourself daily that your worth is not determined by the acceptance of everyone around you. you are a unique, clever individual radiating positivity. never forget that.

2. ⋆. 𐙚 ˚turning group projects into a positive challenge⋆. 𐙚 ˚

group assignments can be super intimidating when you’re unsure whom you can rely on. but think about it as an opportunity to discover parts of yourself you might not have met otherwise. here are some practical steps for navigating group work:

• start by introducing yourself warmly. a simple "hi, i’m [your name]—i'm excited to work with you all" can set a friendly tone. • initiate a casual group chat or a quick get-to-know-you meet-up before diving into the work. suggest grabbing coffee or even meeting in a quiet corner of the campus to chat. • assign roles based on everyone's strengths. this not only clarifies who is doing what but also gives everyone a chance to feel valued. propose clearly defined tasks by asking, "what part do you really love doing?" or "which part feels natural to you?" • if some group members remain distant or rude, focus on collaborating with those who are engaged. sometimes, it’s okay if one or two people are enthusiastic. quality over quantity. • always have a backup plan for situations when group dynamics falter. perhaps create a personal outline for the project and set aside time to rework any loose ends. this helps you retain control over your part of the assignment, even if others aren’t as invested.

3. ⋆. 𐙚 ˚building personal resilience and managing class anxiety⋆. 𐙚 ˚

feeling out of place in classes where few familiar faces exist is completely normal, but there are some really neat ways to boost personal resilience. i like to think of these techniques as little self-care rituals that build your inner strength:

• start your morning or class prep with affirmations. say something like "i am enough" or "i belong here" as you look in the mirror. these affirmations can be surprisingly powerful. • cultivate a mindfulness practice. even just five minutes of deep breathing before class can help center your energy. use mindfulness apps or even a simple timer to guide you through a quick meditation. • keep a journal of small victories. jot down every little win, like speaking up in class or even smiling through a challenging presentation. these notes become a lovely reminder of how far you’ve come. • set up a pre-class ritual that calms your nerves. even if it’s listening to your favorite song, enjoying a cup of herbal tea, or just giving yourself a gentle pep talk, these rituals let you enter class with a positive mindset. • acknowledge that it’s okay to feel anxious. instead of trying to push the feeling away, wrap yourself in understanding and self-love. after all, every uni student feels the pressure sometimes.

4. ⋆. 𐙚 ˚creating meaningful connections beyond your immediate classes⋆. 𐙚 ˚

even if certain classes feel socially isolated, there are countless ways to build community on campus. sometimes, the most unexpected connections can blossom into the most sincere friendships. consider these avenues:

• join uni clubs, societies, or interest groups that resonate with your passion. it can be a creative club, a study group, or a casual meetup for a shared hobby, these environments tend to be super welcoming. • attend campus events, workshops, or talks. these can be fantastic settings for meeting people outside the rigid structure of classroom interactions. it's a chance to meet someone who shares your vibe and interests. • volunteer for student-led initiatives. taking part in projects or community service can show you a side of your peers that you wouldn't normally see in a lecture hall. • look into mentoring programs or campus counseling services. many unis offer support that not only helps with academic stress but also with social challenges. sometimes, sharing your struggles with someone who understands can be incredibly reassuring. • consider creating a little interest group of your own if you notice others who feel similarly isolated. even a small, informal study or discussion group can help you forge lasting bonds.

5. ⋆. 𐙚 ˚reframing challenges into growth experiences⋆. 𐙚 ˚

it’s natural to feel disheartened when you face exclusion or cold responses. but often, these challenges are little nudges guiding you to develop a thicker skin and a stronger sense of self. try out these reframing ideas:

• view each uncomfortable encounter as a step towards personal growth. every time you overcome social hurdles, you’re building resilience and learning more about yourself. • remember that some people’s unfriendliness is more about their own insecurities than any shortcomings on your part. their behavior says more about them than it does about you. • channel any negative energy you encounter into creative or academic pursuits. write down your thoughts, doodle your feelings, or even consider a blog post about your journey. creativity is a wonderful way to turn pain into something beautiful. • celebrate your uniqueness. the qualities that set you apart are what make you valuable. sometimes, it’s exactly those differences that will eventually attract the right people into your life. • let every difficult experience remind you of the person you are becoming. each challenge faced is a victory in building your inner power and empathy.

6. ⋆. 𐙚 ˚personal rituals that keep you grounded⋆. 𐙚 ˚

i believe in creating a few personal rituals to help navigate the ups and downs of uni life. these little practices can serve as anchors on days when everything feels overwhelming:

• before class, take a quiet moment to enjoy a comforting cup of coffee or tea. let that be a moment just for you, a time to gather your thoughts and breathe. • keep a small token or journal with you. it could be a piece of jewelry, a lucky charm, or even a handwritten note that reminds you of your intrinsic worth. whenever you feel isolated, hold that token and feel the support it symbolizes. • make a mini “positivity checklist” for turbulent days: 1. take three deep breaths. 2. text or call a friend from your trusted circle. 3. quickly jot down one thing you’re proud of from the day. 4. give yourself a moment to reflect on a past success. • if ever the weight of anxiety feels too heavy, try a quick self-soothing exercise like stretching or taking a brisk walk between classes. little bursts of movement can reset your mind. • remind yourself that self-care isn’t selfish! it’s essential. investing time in nurturing your well-being pays off in your academic life and beyond.

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆final thoughts & encouragement⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

i know how overwhelming it can feel rn when every class and group project seems to amplify your insecurities. but darling, every challenge is also a lesson in disguise. use these moments as opportunities to cultivate your strengths, build resilience, and discover new facets of yourself. your uni journey is uniquely yours, sprinkled with little moments of growth, learning, and even unexpected joy. sometimes, the journey might seem rocky, but every bump is teaching you how to rise a little higher each time.

remember, you are not alone. even in moments where you feel isolated, your inner strength and your supportive circle are there to hold you up. take these strategies at your own pace, experiment with what feels right for you and make adjustments as needed. your story is still unfolding, and every challenge you overcome adds another beautiful chapter.

sending you the biggest virtual hug and all the good vibes!! keep shining in your own unique way and know that these hurdles are just stepping stones to an even brighter future. i hope these detailed tips bring you some comfort and clarity, and if you ever need to chat or dive into more ideas, feel free to send more asks!! remember to take care of yourself and keep believing in your incredible journey!!

and that’s a wrap on glowettee hotline: issue #1. i am so obsessed with this already, and i can’t wait to dive into more of your guys' questions.

if today’s advice helped, let me know in the replies/reblogs: what’s one habit you’re changing after reading this? let’s romanticize self-discipline together. ✨

and if you have your own it-girl dilemmas—submit them here: https://bit.ly/glowetteehotline

(psst, i read every single one. 💌)

stay soft, stay productive, & stay glowing. 🌷 – glowettee

xoxo, mindy 🤍