synopsis: Your relationship with Soobin has been perfect, until now. With the responsibilities of a loyal and productive leader, Soobin tends to neglect you for everything else (and everyone) in his life. You know he loves you, but when he’s never there, is it really enough?
warnings: angst, smut, oral, penetrative sex, crying, cursing, self doubt, probably a bunch of stuff but I can’t remember! Let me know if I should add something. Also, not proofread so 🙃
word count: 9.3k
Likes, comments and reposts are always super appreciated! My taglist and asks are always open as well 🤍
Things between you two were amazing. He made you feel special and loved, and like you were the only person in the world.
Well, in the beginning anyway…
Being Soobin’s girlfriend was wonderful, but it also has its downsides. Soobin, being the ever responsible leader and attentive man that he is, started putting everything else first. Which also meant he started to pay less attention to you. You always knew that he puts others first before himself, but unfortunately, that also meant he would put others before you as well. Between work and family/friends you barely see him anymore. Tours were busy, and sometimes you’d be lucky to see him in your makeup chair. Dates didn’t exist and if you did make plans, they were usually broken to go attend to something else. At this point, you haven’t really spent alone time with Soobin in 5 months. You knew he was busy, and that he had his stresses. Of course you knew that, but it didn’t hurt any less knowing that he just didn’t have time make time for you.
So when you both started fighting, you couldn’t hold back anymore.
“I’m sorry bunny, I just have to help do this…” Soobin hangs his head in shame, canceling on you for the upteenth time in a row.
“What the fuck Soobin!? Are you serious?” You almost yell at him, only refraining because you’re at work.
“I just have to help with the-”
“I honestly don’t give a fuck about what you have to help with Soobin! I haven’t seen you in MONTHS! All I asked for was a night, just us, and you can’t even do that?”
“Y/N I’m sorry it’s just that I’m-”
You cut him off knowing exactly what he’s going to say. “‘I’m the leader and I need to help wherever I can. This is such an important time for us Y/N, and I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll make it up to you’, right?” You mock his voice saying his exact words full of bitter disappointment, looking deep into his eyes.
“Y/N I’m sorry. I love you and I want to be with you. I just.. I have to do this” He reaches out for your hand, but you pull it away, leaving him in shock and hurt.
“Save it Soobin. Go do whatever it is you have to do. I’ll be in my room, ALONE, as always” and you walk away from him, trying not to cry in front of him. Not wanting to show him how much you’re hurting.
He chases after you, grabbing your arm and turns you around. He then sees the tears streaming down your face and feels like absolute shit. “Y/N.. Fuck baby I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you were hurting like this. I never wanted to upset you.” pulling you into his arms in a tight hug, kissing the top of your head.
You cry into his shoulder unable to hold it back. “I just want to spend time with you Soobin. I haven’t been alone with you in months. I just…” you sob harder, unable to control it.
“Fuck Y/N I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize I’ve been hurting you this bad. I.. I promise I’ll make it up to you! I’ll try to finish this as fast as I can and then I’ll come to your room okay?” He lifts your red face to look at him, wanting you to know he means it. His thumbs caress your cheekbones to try to soothe you.
“It’s already late though and you have an early schedule tomorrow…”
“I don’t care, I miss you too baby. So, so much. I’ll be there as soon as I can!” He leans down to kiss you and wipes away your tears. “I’m so sorry Y/N. Please, wait for me tonight?”
You nod, still sad but wanting to believe he will show up.
“Thank you! Thank you so much! I love you” he kisses you again and runs off in the opposite direction saying “I’ll be there soon” as he jogs away..
“I hope so” you say to yourself under your breath.
Unknown to you, Yeonjun had been watching the whole conversation from down the hall, hidden by a wall. It breaks his heart to see how Soobin hurts you whenever he leaves you for something else. Yeonjun knew where Soobin was coming from and knew how Soobin felt about his responsibilities but, you’re his responsibility too. His most important one. Giving you a minute to calm yourself down, Yeonjun waits in the hall before he goes to talk to you. Not wanting to bombard you while you were crying. He knows how much you hate that.
Yeonjun, like Soobin, quickly became your friend. Arguably he became your best friend. You talk to each other everyday and you see him more than Soobin at this point. So much so that most people think you two are dating. Not that Yeonjun minds that misunderstanding. Like you fell for Soobin, Yeonjun fell for you. Seeing you walk into the green room on your first day took his breath away. He had never seen or met someone quite like you. An infectious smile, hilarious sense of humor, and a voice that soothed his heart with just a word. You took his breath away, and he’s been hooked on you ever since. He however wasn't lucky enough to be on the receiving end of your affection. He watched in awe as you and Soobin got closer and even helped Soobin ask you out for the first time (even though it killed him). Your happiness was more important to him though, and he knew how much you liked Soobin, so being on the sidelines as a friend was enough for him. As long as you were happy.
But, you’re not happy. Not anymore. And it breaks his heart everytime he sees you crying over that big idiot of a leader. Seeing you’ve calmed down, he determines he can talk to you now without you feeling too embarrassed.
“Hey Y/N! What are you still doing here?”
“Yeonjun!” you say startled by his appearance “Hey, umm what are you doing here?” Subtly trying to steady your voice and wipe away your last tears
“Oh I just finished recording… What about you? I thought you and Soobin had plans?”
You look up to meet his eyes, chewing on your cheek “umm, he uh, he had something he had to do”
“Oh Y/N, again…” he pulls you into a hug seeing you’re about to cry again. “I’m so sorry. Can I do anything?”
“No Junie, I’m okay. Thank you though, I’m just gonna have a bath and relax I guess.”
“Seriously if you want to hang out and just watch a movie or something I’m free.” he adds hoping you’ll accept.
“Actually, yeah that would be nice.. I don’t really want to be alone. Movie?”
“Absolutely beautiful. Your choice”
“Okay, my room in 20?”
“It’s a date,” Yeonjun teases, nudging your shoulder. Excited to spend time with you, if Soobin won’t take it, he sure will.
Making your way to your room, you can’t help but think about Soobin, and what you could be doing if he actually came. Making you sad again. When you reach your door, you get a text from Soobin. You’re heart races, hoping he can come see you sooner, but you also know in reality he’s probably telling you he won’t make it. So with a weary heart you open the text
Binnie 🥰🐰💕
Baby! Good news we finished up super quick
I’m on my way now! Do you want anything to eat?
My treat
Your heart beats faster, excited and overjoyed that he’s finally going to spend time with you. Now you need to rush and get ready! You text him back
Y/N
OMG REALLY?! I can’t wait to see you babe!
Whatever you want to eat is fine with me.
You’re my treat 😘
You facetime Yeonjun, excited to tell him the news but also break off your movie date.
Junnie 🦊
Hey pretty, what's up?
Y/N
Best news! Soob is already done and coming over! JUN I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!
But that means I have to cancel our movie date… sorry *you pout*
Junnie 🦊
Finally! It’s about time that big oof finally spent time with you! And it’s fine, you just owe me a movie night. *he winks at you trying to play off his disappointment*
Y/N
Thanks Junnie! What should I wear? god…
now I'm nervous. I want it to be perfect. JUN YOU’RE GOOD WITH FASHION! One sec.
*you sprint into your closet and look for the items in your head. Finding them you prop up your phone and hold them out for Yeonjun to see.*
Which one? Sexy or cute?
*completely taken off guard, Yeonjun’s face turns bright red as you hold up two lingerie sets. One a sexy black lace set, and the other a cute sheer set with daisies on it. His brain is on overdrive picturing you in both sets laid out on a bed beneath him.*
Y/N
Junnie… Earth to Yeonjun?? Are you frozen? YEONJUNNNNN 😩
Snapping out of his thoughts he blinks and responds to you
Junnie 🦊
Sorry yeah… bad connection.. Umm I’m not sure? What does he usually like?
Y/N
Umm.. I’m not really sure? I haven’t done this in so long. I'm not sure what he likes anymore..
Junnie 🦊
I’m sure his taste hasn’t changed- WAIT A MINUTE- what do you mean you haven’t done this in so long?
Y/N
Exactly what it sounds like Yeonjun…
Junnie 🦊
HUH?! When was the last time you had sex?
Y/N
Oh god Yeonjun… i donno like… *you count on your fingers trying to place it even though you’re very aware of how long it’s been* like 4.. Maybe 5 months
Junnie 🦊
*his jaw drops open* how??? You still see each other just not for dates?
Y/N
Yeah Jun, but he gets called away for so much shit and then when he does have time with me he’s usually tired and just passes out. I donno…
Junnie 🦊
YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT MAN HASN’T FUCKED YOU IN 5 MONTHS?!
Y/N
SHHHHHH! *you whisper* but yes… So help me pick! I want him to just lose his shit and fuck me stupid so.. *you hold up both sets again* what one?
Junnie 🦊
Lace.. do the black lace. I wouldn’t be able to resist you in that. Well i wouldn’t be able to resist you in either but, the lace just sets the mood more… I’d want to ruin you… *he drifts off in thought again before he catches himself* I mean if i were Soobin…
Y/N
Yeah? Okay thanks Junnie You’re the best! Love you but I gotta go get ready!
Junnie 🦊
Yeah yeah of course! Have a good time tonight 😉 don’t get pregnant! although I would be the sexiest uncle if you do 😏
Y/N
YEONJUN! You’re ridiculous. You’re not wrong though, can see all the girls lining up to see hot uncle yeonjun
Junnie 🦊
RIGHT?! Anyways.. Go get ready and have a good time tonight. Give me all the deets later.. Well maybe not all the deets. I donno if I wanna hear about Soobin’s dick.
Y/N
Shut up of course you do you perv! LOVE YOU BYE *blows him kisses as you hang up*
Yeonjun can’t help the pain that radiates throughout his heart. He’s happy that Soobin is finally making time for you but, that means he doesn't get to see you. He just tells himself as long as you're happy he’ll be happy.
You sprint around your hotel room, trying to clean quickly and get yourself ready. You quickly freshen up and apply body cream and the perfume you know he loves. Applying a quick natural but seductive makeup. Your hair was already loosely curled from this morning so you quickly pulled it back in a loose messy bun low on your neck. Lastly you slip into the black lace lingerie set Yeonjun suggested. You look yourself over in the mirror, adding a matching sheer black robe over your shoulders. As you look at yourself there's a knock on your door. Butterflies fill your stomach before you walk to open the door. When you reach for the door handle you take a steading breath. Pulling it open, you step behind it for Soobin to come in.
“Hey I couldn’t really decide on what to get so I just picked a bunch of snack food and thought we could order a-” Soobin’s voice dies in his throat as you walk out from behind the door to shut it. “You.. You look incredible, baby.” His voice was shaking with nerves as if he’s never seen you that way before. But it had been so long, honestly he forgot you were this stunning outside of work.
“You think? It’s just a little something I had laying around” you joke acting nonchalant when inside you were nervous and shaking like a leaf.
Soobin drops the bags and stalks over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you close, nuzzling into your neck and smelling your perfume that he loves. “I know what I’m eating tonight” he whispers into your ear, nibbling the lobe and kissing down your neck.
“Thank god” you breathe, wrapping your arms around his neck, tangling your fingers into his hair.
“I’m so sorry I’ve been neglecting you baby, I’ll be better. I promise.”
“I’m gonna hold you to that, but for now.. Please turn off your phone, and fuck me all night. Please Soobin.” Gripping his shirt as you plead with him.
He immediately takes out his phone and turns it off in front of you. Then picks you up by your thighs, Kissing you as he carries you to your bed. “You’re so beautiful you know that? I’m so lucky you’re mine.”
“Not as lucky as me” You remove his glasses and put them on the bedside table “I’ve missed you so much Binnie”
“I’m so sorry bunny, I’ll be better. Won’t neglect you again.” He kisses his way down your body until he’s in front of your heat. Kissing you over the black lacy thong you’re wearing. Taking in your scent he groans “fuck I’m so stupid leaving you alone all this time. Missed you so bad” he continues to apologize as he kisses and licks your core over through your underwear.
“Just don’t ditch me all the time. Work isn’t all that matters” You lift his chin to look into your eyes “I matter too Bin.”
“You’re all that matters and I’m an idiot. ‘M Gonna make it up to you baby, promise.” he says, lifting your panties and pushing them to the side exposing your needy pussy to him. Groaning a quiet ‘fuck’ under his breath as he’s in awe, like he’s seeing you for the first time again. He kisses your clit, taking his time with you to show you how much he does truly love you. Soobin alternates between kisses and licks as he savours you. Tasting your juices from every fold, and crevice. Gripping your hips as your hips buck, holding you down to continue pleasuring you. He adds his fingers to stretch you when you beg, wanting more, knowing you’d need to be prepped after it’s been so long to be able take him. He adores you, watching your face and you come undone around his fingers, kissing your thighs as he works you through it.
You’re barely finished when you beg for him. “Soobin please, I need you..” looking into the eyes of the man you love so much, aching for him.
He quickly removes his clothes, pumping himself a couple of times before lining himself up with your entrance “need you to bunny. I love you. Love you so much.”
“I love you too, Soobin” You’re big doe eyes, looking up to his longingly. As he pushes into your entrance your head tips back further into your pillow and a string of moans radiate from both of you. Soobin’s, low and guttural in his chest while yours are higher and melodic. Together mixing to make the perfect harmony of sounds you've both missed hearing so much. Soobin’s length reaches your sweet spot almost immediately and on instinct to make you wither and moan beneath him. Taking in the sight of you unraveling beneath him and committing it to memory so he never forgets you, how perfect you look beneath him. Silently promising to you that he’ll never do this to you again. That he’ll never neglect you like this again.
Soobin leans forward to kiss you, whispering against your lips “I’m sorry Y/N. So, so sorry, I’ll be better, I promise. I’ll make time for you everyday love. I promise”
You hold him closer to you, your arms wrapping around his neck, as you say back to him “That’s all I want Soobin. To spend more time with you. I love and miss you so much.” Pulling him into your lips to kiss him.
The night is perfect, and everything you’ve been missing from him. You stay tangled together all night, uninterrupted and absorbed in each other. Things go back to the way they used to be. You were so happy again that you even moved into the dorms with him and the boys. Soobin makes time for you and turns back into the boyfriend he used to be.
Or he does for a while.. And then there’s a new comeback, and he gets busy again. Between recording, dance practices, and regular scheduling.. He barely has time for anything, let alone you. And you’re right back where you started that day. Except now it’s worse. Instead of just cancelling plans, you catch him avoiding certain subjects, or people. Catching him in little lies or half truths. You’re aware he’s probably trying to protect your feelings because it’s Soobin, but… It just ends up hurting you more if anything.
So when you walk in on him having a conversation with the members about an upcoming event he’s emceeing with Arin, you lose it. Soobin knows how you feel about Arin, you’ve met multiple times and it hasn't been great. He has no romantic feelings for Arin, he just sees her as a friend, but he doesn’t see what you do. You know how Arin truly feels and that she's willing to do anything to make Soobin hers.
You’re infuriated knowing that he has known this for weeks but still hasn’t mentioned it to you. Once again catching him hiding and lying to you. You walk up quietly behind him asking in a calm but hurt tone “so when is it?”
They all jump at your sudden entrance but Soobin looks horrified. You had caught him lying. Again. “Y/N I-”
“Did you ever plan on telling me Soob? Or was I just supposed to find out when we were on set?” you ask him
“I… Y/N I’m so sorry, I’ve been trying to but I just didn’t know.. How..”
“I hate that you do this to me! I hate that you hide things from me!” tears welling in your eyes
“I just didn’t want to hurt you bunny. I know how you feel about Arin but…”
“But what? THIS is why Soobin. THIS is why I feel that way! You keep hiding shit from me. Lying to me…”
“I’m sorry, I won’t hide anything else from you I promise! I’ll tell you everything right away. Every schedule, everything I do I’ll tell you bunny, but please… please forgive me.”
“Fine” you take a breath and wipe your eyes “You better make up for it tonight” You look up at him with a half smile, only to see his face morphed into confusion.
“What’s going on tonight?”
“Soobin come on” you hit his shoulder laughing which comes to a halt from his remaining look of confusion. “You forgot… You forgot date night didn’t you?”
Soobin’s wide eyes answer your question and ignite more rage inside of you
“Let me guess, you completely forgot the ONE night I have been begging to have with you for weeks! and you’ve promised Arin you would practice with her tonight. Right?” anger seething from your lips
“Y/N I’m so so sorry I’ll cancel with her right now-”
“Don’t bother Soobin. She's more important to you than I ever was. Forget it, I’ll sit home. alone waiting for you like always.” you turn on your heels and walk away, slamming the door behind you before he could react.
‘Fuck’ he muttered under his breath.
“You can’t be fucking serious Soobin? How could you forget?” Taehyun asks angrily
“I-I don't’ know?” he stutters out
“What do you mean you don’t know? Do you know how excited she’s been for tonight? It’s all she’s been talking about for weeks bro” Beomgyu snaps
All of his fellow members wanted to kill him right now. You were important to all of them. You fit in with the group immediately, like you were the missing piece they needed. They loved you.
“That’s not good enough Soobin.” Yeonjun says quietly, rage coating his words. He’s had enough of watching him hurt you again and again. “You’re pathetic.”
“Hyung I-”
“I don’t want to hear your stupid excuses. That woman is in love with you Soobin. You claim you love her to but all you fucking do is hurt her. Do you not get that?” Yeonjun spits his words out, getting up in Soobin’s face “Do you not know how fucking lucky you are for her to love you like she does? The fuck is wrong with you?” pushing his shoulder as he asks his final question.
“Do you think I don’t get that? That I literally fuck up everything with her?” Soobin raises his voice
“NO I DON’T THINK YOU DO” Yeonjun raises his voice louder in frustration “You’re not the one who sees her everytime you hurt her like this! I am- we all are Soobin.” gesturing to the guys behind him “she cries on our shoulders asking why she’s not good enough for you? When in reality she’s too good for you…”
“You think I don’t know she’s too good for me? You think I don’t care when I fuck up like this? That I don't care when I see her hurt by what I did!? It fucking kills me Yeonjun!”
“THEN STOP DOING IT!” Yeonjun yells, snapping “or you’re going to lose her. We all will” he lowers in voice making sure the message hits home.
“How are you gonna fix this hyung?” Kai asks wearily, breaking the silence in the room
“I don’t know… I don’t know if she’ll even talk to me…”
“What were you supposed to do tonight anyways?” Taehyun asks
“We were just supposed to be together, and marathon the anime we’re behind on. Honestly I was really looking forward to it with her when we planned it. How the fuck did I forget?” hanging his head in his hands as he starts to well up with tears remembering how excited you were to plan such a simple evening with him. He really was an idiot. All you wanted was to spend time with him, yet he couldn't even give you that..
“I’ve got an idea” Beomgyu pipes up
“Me to” says Kai happily
“What if you just turn the dorm into a giant fort!” Gyu says excitedly
“Yeah with pillows and blankets everywhere! I’ll even lend you some of my Stuffies to make it super cozy!” kai adds
“I’ll set up the projector so you can watch anime on a big screen! Get all her favourite foods, and snacks.” Gyu beams
“Put candles all around and fairy lights to make it romantic” Taehyun adds in
“That is an amazing idea! But how am I gonna do all that so quickly…” Soobin asks processing all the work that has to be done
“We’ll help you!”
“Yeah?”
“Of course we will! Right hyung?” Tae asks Yeonjun
“...yeah we’ll help. But I’m not helping for you, I’m helping because Y/N deserves more”
“Thank you! Thank you so much guys! I promise I’ll make this up to her!”
“You better” was Yeonjun’s final warning.
Quickly the guys gathered as much as they could to make the idea come to life. Taking every pillow available in the dorm to Soobin’s room. Beomgyu sets up his projector with Soobin’s laptop. Taehyun and Yeonjun found all the candles and fairy lights they could at a nearby store while Kai went to buy all the snacks and foods he knew you liked.
Soobin was a mess and all over the place. Trying to help out with everything but ultimately just getting in the way.
Finally Yeonjun stopped him and said “Look, we have this… just focus on getting ready and prepare how you’re actually gonna apologize to her.”
“I don’t know what to say… I love her so much Yeonjun but I, … I keep fucking it up.”
“Just…” Yeonjun groans in annoyance that he’s this stupid “tell her that. Tell her how sorry you are for everything and show her you love her as much as we all know you do. She just wants to know you care about her. Enough to put her first for once Soobin.”
Soobin nods as he listens to his senior “I do care about her. I care about her so fucking much but i- I just keep fucking up… But I’m going to fix it. I promise.”
Yeonjun stares him down again, still unimpressed, but nods before he walks away returning to help set up with the others. Leaving Soobin to get ready alone while picking out the clothes he knows you love. Fixing his hair while he thinks of how to properly apologize to you.
You unlock the door and enter the dark apartment. You throw down your keys and a bag filled with ice cream and snacks to eat your feelings. You planned to just watch anime with Kai instead. He’s always a great friend to you and gives good snuggles when you’re sad. Plus his giant collection of plushies always makes you happy.
“Kai? You home? Wanna watch anime with me and eat my feelings?” You walk to the fridge to grab a couple of sodas
Nothing…
“Kai?” You stand up straight, shutting the fridge door
Silence…
“Jun? Gyuuu?”
Still nothing.
What the fuck? Where is everyone?
“Terry?” You whine hoping he’s home. But once again you’re met with silence.
“Great… all alone to drown my sorrows…” you mutter to yourself, picking up your bag and walking to your room. Passing Soobin’s on the way you notice a flickering light. Stopping you prop open his door curious cause you know he’s not home. He’s not supposed to be anyways.
When you open the door you see him sitting in the middle of the coziest looking blanket fort, flicking through crunchroll to pick your anime to watch. Candles and fairy light flickering around the room in the comforting scent of vanilla. Your favourite pillows and blankets spread out with all your favourite treats and a pizza box.
Soobin finally looks to your eyes, apologetically smiles and quietly says ‘hi’
“Hi?” You look around at his room and then back to him as your eyes start to water. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be with Arin?”
He stands up to meet you at the door, taking the bag and cans from you so he can take your hands instead. He feels awful. Especially when he gets a closer look at your pink puffy eyes and pink nose. One of his hands travels to cup your face as he leans in closer and looks in your eyes. “I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now. I’m so sorry bunny. I’m so sorry for forgetting. For not giving you the time and love like you deserve.” His voice wavers as he looks into your eyes, wanting you to know how truly sorry he is.
“Bin…” your voice cracks as the dam gives way to your tears. His other hand cups your face as he starts wiping away your tears.
“Shhh baby. I’m so so sorry” He leans in and kisses your tears away. ”I’m so sorry” pulling you into his chest as he hugs you tight, kissing the top of your head. Your hands tangle into his hoodie, pulling him in close, fearing this isn’t real and he’ll just disappear.
“You’re really gonna stay?” you look up at him with glassy puppy dog eyes, happy and doubtful all at once.
“I’m staying baby. I’m here and I’m staying with you. Right here, where I belong.” he kisses your forehead to punctuate his statement. You wrap your arms around him and squeeze him tightly.
“Thank you” your voice is a soft whisper “and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I got so upset-”
He cuts you off with a soft kiss to your lips “no, you deserved to be mad. I fucked up. And I need to make it up to you.” His eyes are full of sincerity and you know he means it. You know Soobin like the back of your hand and you know he’s upset. You know he feels like shit for treating you this way. That’s all it takes for your anger to melt away.
“So what are we gonna watch, Binnie?” You ask him softly, leaning into him. You watch the smile you love so much spread across his face as he hugs you tightly, lifting you up into his arms and spinning you around. It causes you to giggle, and hold onto him tightly.
Moments like this are what make you remember why you fell for him in the first place. His boyish charm and how he wears his heart and emotions on his sleeve. You kiss his dimple softly and he lets you down before taking your hand to sit with him in the pillows spread on the floor of his transformed room. The blanket walls of the fort make the room even cosier, making the space feel like your own oasis with him. You rest your head on his shoulder as you watch him pick the new romance anime you’ve been waiting to watch with him. You can’t help but smile as you turn into him trying to hide how happy it made you that he remembered.
“Ready?” his voice low and soft as he looks down to you to see if you’re ready to start watching. Smiling when he sees the soft blush and smile on your beautiful face. You nod, ready to finally have some time with him. Ready to sit there, in his arms, feel his warmth and relish in finally spending time with him.
He pulls you in closer to him, holding you tight as you start watching the show. However all you can focus on is the sound of his heart beat under that sweater you love and how good he smells. He also can’t take his eyes off of you. Not even trying to hide that he’s not paying attention to the anime at all. His fingers slowly tracing shapes on your side just underneath your hoodie. The gentle touch of his fingers igniting a fire along your skin. Every one of your nerves is aching for his touch, like they have been for months. Craving the man you love so much. You turn to look up at him, only to see he’s already looking at you. “Soobin..” you whisper his name before he leans in whispering in a desperate plea “please, please bunny… Can I kiss you?” you nod and immediately meet his lips. You hand wrapping around the back of his neck to quickly tangle into his hair at the nape of his neck. The intensity of your kiss quickly picks up. You straddle his hips as his hand grip your waist, pulling you in closer to him. With the anime long forgotten, lost in each other, you hear a faint buzzing behind him. You try to ignore it but it's relentless and breaks you from the moment. Pulling away you look around and see Soobin’s phone buzzing, the screen lighting up with Arin’s name. You huff in annoyance and get off of him.
“Arin’s calling you.” irritation very evident in your tone as you sit in your original spot, crossing your arms and pouting.
Soobin looks over and silences his phone before turning back to you, “baby I’m sorry, please..” but you brush him off and watch the show. “It’s fine.”
However, the fine annoyance of buzzing doesn’t stop as Arin continues to call and text him. He tries to ignore it, you can see him trying. You can see how each buzz eats away at him, anxiety and guilt washing over him. You finally snap, “just answer her Soobin.” voice cold and devoid of any emotion besides anger.
“Y/N..” he whispers in sadness
“Just answer her.” you snap without looking at him, pulling your knees into your chest and resting your chin on them, inevitably knowing where this is leading.
“Bunny please I-”
“Soobin.. Just answer her. I know you won’t be able to relax until you see what she wants. So, please. Just answer her.” you look at him finally with glassy eyes.
“I-” he gets cut off by his phone ringing again. You look away from him and back to his laptop screen. He exhales knowing you’re right, answering the phone and walking a little farther away from you. You however can hear everything he says.
“Arin, I told you I can’t. I have plans-”
“No Arin, I’m not coming. You’ll have to practice alone.”
“Arin I have plans with-”
“Yes I’m choosing my girlfriend for once!”
“Arin that’s not fair..” at this point you can hear his voice waver. And you know within the next couple of sentences, she’ll have guilt riddled him into either eating himself alive or on his way to the practice room.
“Arin, please.. We can run through the dance before the show.”
“Arin I-”
“Fine..”
You can hear him slowly and quietly walking over to you, sitting down, not quite as close as before. His legs shaking with anxiety as he picks at his nails. His voice is quiet as he says your name. “Y/N I…”
“You’re going aren’t you?” you respond flatly without looking at him.
“Baby, I-”
“Just go Soobin.” you curl into yourself again. Unable to hide the disappointment in your voice. Barely holding back the tears.
“Y/N I- I’m just going for an hour. I’ll be right back! Maybe even quicker. I just have to run through the dance with Arin and then I’ll be back. Bunny I promise-” you cut him off.
“It’s okay.” you turn to him with a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes. “I get it”
He’s wary, he can see you’re trying to hide that you’re hurt. “Y/N..”
“Seriously Soobin, it’s okay. Work is important too. And you can’t half ass a performance. You’ll only be an hour right?” You hide your hurt better now. Making it seem like you’re okay. “Go, I’ll be here. Waiting.” you give him one last soft smile.
He looks at you. His heart is uneasy, but he pushes past it to go rehearse with Arin. He grabs his bag quickly and kneels in front of you, giving you a soft kiss, trying to convey how he loves you, before he walks to his door, pausing before he leaves. “I’ll be back in an hour” you nod, acting like you believe him. “I love you Bunny”
“I love you to Bin” you say as your heart breaks watching him leave. Knowing that was the last time you will probably say that to him. You wait until you hear the front door click shut before you finally let yourself cry. Because as you watched him leave, watched him slowly give way to Arin and agree to leave you, you knew it was over. You knew you didn’t matter to him anymore. And although you believed he loved you, it wasn’t enough anymore. It hurt too much to be left by him, to be alone again and again. You can’t take this heartache anymore. So for your own good, you decide this was it. You get up and pack some of your things in your room, leaving some of the memories of you together behind, too painful to keep yourself. Once you think you have enough you text Yeonjun.
Y/N
Jun where are you?
Junnie 🦊
The Enhypen dorms. Why?
Everything okay?
Yeonjun instantly feels dread run through his body. He knows you wouldn’t be texting him in the middle of date night with Soobin unless something was wrong.
You however don’t answer Yeonjun. Taking one last look around the dorm and Soobin’s room, you place your key on his laptop and walk out the door. You walk down to the Enhypen dorms with your bags, texting Sunghoon to see if he’s home. Sunghoon is someone else you’ve become quite close to. After working with him for some events and press you managed to break through his quiet and cold demeanour. Not to mention he also grew quite fond of you, connecting with you on levels he didn’t think would be possible.
Y/N
Hoon are you in the dorms?
Hoonie ❄️
Yeah why what’s up?
Y/N
Can I come over?
Hoonie ❄️
ofc you’re always welcome here! But, is something wrong? I thought you were with hyung
Y/N
I’ll be there in a minute
Sunghoon walks out of his room and over to everyone else, looking specifically to the txt boys asking “didn’t you guys say Y/N is with Soobin hyung? She’s asking if I’m home..” he looks at his phone worried.
Yeonjun looks at him and stands, “shit, she texted me too but wouldn't answer after I asked her if everything was okay.” Yeonjun runs his hand through his hair as he stresses out worrying about you.
As they all try to process what may have happened, there’s a soft knock on the door. You knuckle barely hitting the wood.
Sunghoon answers, unable to hide his worry “Y/Nie? What’s going on? Are you okay?”
“Hey Hoon.. can I come in?” you ask him with a scratchy voice, raw from crying.
Sunghoon notices your red puffy eyes. “Yeah, of course” he steps aside and lets you in, hugging you because he knows something is wrong. And you break open again. Crying into his arms.
“Ahh shit. S’okay” Sunghoon rubs your back holding you tightly, looking over to Yeonjun “what happened pretty?”
Yeonjun rushes over to you, taking you from Sunghoon “Y/N” his voice full of compassion “Y/N, baby girl, what happened?”
You pull back to look at him with fat drops falling down your cheeks. “He went to her” your voice barely audible. “He left.”
“What?” Yeonjun’s voice is a mix of disbelief, anger and sympathy. Anger starts to win over the other emotions. “He what!?” The other members stand up to come to you.
“She.. Arin wouldn’t stop calling and texting him. So I told him to answer her. She did what she does best… and now he’s…” your voice wavers and lips quivers before you can say it. “gone.” you wipe your tears in the sleeve of your hoodie, looking at Yeonjun, feeling Sunghoon’s hands on your shoulders trying to comfort you. Beomgyu, Taehyun and Heuning immediately make their way to you. “I-” you hiccup from sobbing “I can’t do it anymore. I can’t just sit there and be an after thought to him” you sniff and wipe your eyes again “it hurts too much Jun”
Yeonjun pulls you in tighter, rubbing your back as you cry. Beomgyu wraps his arms around you with Yeonjun while Tae and Kai stand close trying to comfort you, placing a hand on your arm or shoulder. They stand there with you, their hearts breaking with each sob that leaves you.
“He’ll be back Y/N, just give him another chance. When he comes back he’ll see you're gone and will come looking for you. I know he will..” Kai says trying to reassure you but even you can sense the doubt in his voice.
“Huening.. You know he won’t be back. Not in an hour.. Not with her…”
“Yes he will Y/N he loves you! He knows he fucked up-”
You can’t help the bitter chuckle that leaves your throat, cutting him off “and yet he still went to her. He was trying to make it up to me, telling me he’s ‘exactly where he wants to be’… and he still left.” You swallow thickly trying to keep it together. “I knew this was coming. I just can’t do it anymore, you know? It hurts too much” your eyes well up again and Yeonjun brings you into his chest, stroking your hair and gently shushing you in comfort.
“Just give him one last chance.” Beomgyu begs, his voice wavering. You can see how upset he also is.
You nod, agreeing to give the man you love an hour to come back to you. An hour to prove you actually mean something to him. An hour to show you you matter.
You sit in the Enhypen dorm, watching them play video games and try not to tear yourself apart. You try to give Soobin the benefit of the doubt but your brain isn’t so forgiving.
‘Maybe he will come back in an hour.’
‘Maybe I’m being over dramatic. I mean it is for work. He should rehearse.’
‘Yeah right… I bet he hasn’t thought about me for a second since he entered that practice room.’
But as you watch the graphics of the game on the tv, you can almost hear the clock tick. An hour passes, which turns to two. And then three hours have passed. It’s 2 am and he left you 4 hours ago.
4 hours ago… 4 hours and he hasn’t even tried to text you. Nothing. He just left you to be alone again while he’s off with someone else. Her. You stand up and grab your bag, causing the only people still awake to look at you. Beomgyu, Heesung and Sunghoon turn to you and see it’s too late. “Y/N…” Beomgyu stands to come to you as you stand up from sitting next to Yeonjun, who reluctantly fell asleep, and Sunghoon.
“I’m gonna go..” you whisper and smile at him fighting back tears “in case anyone asks I’ll be at my apartment okay?”
“Wait you’re leaving!? No Y/Nie please stay”
“I don’t really wanna see him. And it’s his place, you know?” You shrug with an awkward half smile as you chew on the inside of your lip.
“But it’s our place too, and we all want you there. Please Y/N don’t shut us out!”
“I’m not Beomie.” You hug him, patting his hair “Promise”
He pulls back to look at you and he starts to tear up “I’m so sorry he’s done this to you. That he’s treated you like this.”
“Me to” you sniffle trying to hold back your tears. “Love you” you part after kissing his cheek, turning to hug and thank Heesung and Sunghoon, who offer to help with anything you may need.
“Seriously Y/N, I’m just a text or call away. Anytime, any place.” Sunghoon holds onto your hand when you try to pull back, letting you know he’s there for you.
“Thank you. Truly.” you give him one last sad smile “I’ll see you later” turning and shutting the door behind you. Sunghoon turns as the door shuts, nudging Yeonjun awake. He knows they can’t leave you alone like this.
You head down to the main floor, knowing the best rehearsal room is there. You know because you’ve spent countless hours in there with the guys, while they rehearsed late into the night for an upcoming performance or tour. You sat there against the mirror watching them, but mainly Soobin. Watched him dance, laugh, curse in irritation when he struggled, and fall back against the floor in exhaustion. You watched him sweat, even bleed while he worked to perfect something.
You walked down to that room because you knew that’s where Soobin would be. You knew it would hurt, but at the same time you needed to see it. You needed to see him with her. Needed to see him while you weren’t even a thought on his mind. You needed confirmation that you were never truly a priority for him. Because if you were, he wouldn’t have left.
As you walk off the elevator, loud steps and a door slamming open catch your attention, causing you to look, only to see Yeonjun and Sunghoon panting for breath as they chased after you.
“What are you- why?” You stutter out as you see them. “Why’d you come after me?”
“I can’t leave you alone, not like this.. stay with us. Stay with me.” yeonjun runs to you, enclosing you in a tight hug again.
“Don’t go’ he gently strokes your cheek with his thumb.
“I’m not leaving forever Jun. I just…. I need some time. You know?”
Tears trickle down his cheek. It’s killing him to see you so upset. Especially over how stupid his best friend is. But he nods as you mimic his gesture, moving into your palm. “At least let me walk you to your car then”
“That’s okay, I need to-“ he cuts you off, knowing you too well.
“You were going by the studio weren’t you?”
You bite your lip trying not to cry anymore, but it makes it worse “I just need to see”
You’re back into his chest sobbing now as he coos, trying to calm you down.
‘Shhh. Princess please. You’re breaking my heart” you can hear his voice tremble as he almost breaks at your heart ache.
“Why not me Jun? Why don’t I matter to him? Why!? Why am I not enough?” You sob gripping onto his shirt.
“You do! Oh fuck Y/N, you mean the world to him. He loves you he’s just-” he stops, breathing uneasily, struggling with how upset you are “he’s just a fucking idiot!” He looks into your eyes through your tears making sure you hear him, “You’re incredible and he talks about you all the time. We love you so much, we all do. I love you Y/N! Soobin loves you he’s just a dumb fuck who doesn’t show you. And you are enough. Don’t ever think you’re not enough for anyone, let alone him. You’re perfect and everything anyone could ever want in a partner” He holds your face close between his hands “you’re perfect Y/N and you deserve better than this.”
Sunghoon watches from close behind, his hand touching your shoulder leaning in, speaking softly “he's right Y/N. You’re amazing, and you deserve someone who will appreciate you. Someone who will love you the way you should be.”
You nod in Yeojun’s hands, knowing they’re both right. That even though you love and want Soobin, maybe he doesn’t deserve that love anymore.
You let the both of them hug you for a moment while you calm down. When you finally can catch your breath and stop crying for the nth time tonight, you look to them, steady yourself and look towards the practice room.
“I- I just need to see… one last time.” You look from Yeonjun to Sunghoon. “Then I’ll know for sure it’s done.”
They both nod, Sunghoon’s hand on your lower back as he guides you towards the room “we’re coming with you then. Then we’ll get you home. Okay?”
You look up to meet Sunghoon’s eyes, nodding and leaning on his shoulder as you walk towards the studio window. Yeonjun holds your hand, supporting you as you get close enough to see but not be seen.
There he is. Dancing with her. Skin glossy with sweat as they move with each other, smiling in the mirror as if there were nothing else in the world. Like you didn’t exist.
The cracks in your heart grew larger. Yeonjun is fuming. He would punch that stupid smile off of Soobin’s face if he could. Seeing how much this was hurting you. He records them so he can show and hurt Soobin later. Show him how stupid he is and what he lost. Sunghoon can see you curl into yourself and he pulls you in closer to him, but straightens your back. His own way of saying don’t let Soobin break you.
While watching, they seem to finally get a complicated move, Arin turns and jumps up into Soobin’s arms to hug him as he grips her waist and spins around. That was it. That was all you could take. You felt sick now, seeing him with her like that. The smiles and happiness while you die on the inside. Your voice is weak and low, “I’ve seen enough, can we go? Please?” You ask the boys before you break down completely.
Pissed Yeonjun swipes to his contacts and calls Soobin, wanting him to see exactly what he’s done to you. How broken you are because of him. “Yeah let’s go, but come ‘ere first” he pulls you in to hug again. Feeling the shaking in your body he rubs your back. Hearing commotion in the room as Soobin rushes for his phone. He answers seeing Yeonjun’s contact, grabbing his stuff as he runs towards the door. Stopping dead in his tracks when he sees you in Yeonjun’s arms, meeting Yeonjun’s death glare and the even icier one Sunghoon. Yeonjun mouths ‘you fucked up’ dripping with disgust. Sunghoon stands in front of the both of you with his arms crossed, daring Soobin to move towards you.
Yeonjun says ‘let’s get going’ and you nod, turning while wiping the tears from your raw eyes to get one last look at the man you love, only to see him frozen in place at the door. Remorse painting his face but you’re so numb you don’t care. You just turn and walk towards the door.
“Y/N wait! Please” full of panic Soobin chases after you and Yeonjun as you walk, “baby please I’m SO sorry” grabbing your wrist trying to turn you to face him. Reality setting in, knowing he fucked up beyond repair this time. Seeing you, walking away with Yeonjun, and your dead, emotionless eyes, blood red and swollen from crying. Nose red and sniffling from wiping away at it. His heart breaks knowing he did this to you. Still holding your hand he falls to his knees, begging you to stay “Y/N please. I fucked up. I really fucked up, I know I did. And I’m so sorry- but please bunny don’t leave” he sobs at your feet.
“Let go Soobin” you whisper, pulling your hand weakly from his grasp. Sunghoon is immediately at your other side, as if he was waiting to make sure this is what you wanted. Soobin looks up to you, meeting your emotionless eyes “you made your choice… now go to her. She means more to you than I ever did.” Your voice breaks as you say it. You’ve known it for a while but it doesn’t hurt any less.
“That’s not true! Y/N I love you! More than anything I love you so much-“ standing, he pulls your face into his hands, needing you to hear how sorry he was.
“This isn’t love Soobin.” You look right into his soul saying his name “love doesn’t hurt like this. Love is putting your partner first. Giving them everything because you want to make them happy. Not this…I am NEVER first with you. I have never been first with you. You have never done something just for me. I don’t even know if you’ve ever really cared about me”
“That’s not true! I-“ you cut him off with a bitter and scorned laugh.
“Don’t you dare say you put me first. When was the last time you put me first Soobin? Huh? Before the group? before practice? before her? Huh? Before you even? When soobin?” Tears start dripping from your eyes again and he tries to wipe them away but you pull away again. Thinking he honestly can’t remember the last time he’s put you first. You’re always the first thing on his mind but… when actually putting you first in a situation, he can’t remember if he ever has.
“Besides work Soobin” you look up and blink away tears, wiping away the ones rolling down your cheeks with your sleeve pulled over your hands, already soaked from all the previous tears. “Besides me sitting you in a chair and applying makeup on your face, you wouldn’t even see me. You spent more time with me before we started-” gesturing back and forth between the both of you with your hand, “whatever the fuck this is! This was…” you voice goes soft as you say it. Firm, but soft.
“Was?” You can see his emotions while processing your words flash across his face. Confusion turns to realization and shock, then dread and pain, realizing he’s actually losing you. “No…NO bunny please don’t end this! Please!” He falls to his knees again, tears streaming from his eyes now. “I’m so, so fucking sorry! I’m an idiot! I know I don’t deserve it but” he chokes on a sob as he begs you for another chance. “Please let me try again. Please let me fix this! Y/n please.. I love you” he cries, and for once his profession of love doesn’t affect you. Because you don’t believe him anymore.
“Soobin… this isn’t the first time. It’s not the last. I can’t do this anymore.” You lean over to be face to face, cupping his cheek with one hand as you gently rub your thumb across his cheek bone, wiping away his tears. Remembering how his skin feels for the last time. Your voice soft as you look in his eyes, “I love you. I really truly do.” You rest your forehead against his and take a deep breath, readying yourself for what you're about to do. “I love you so fucking much it hurts. But, I can’t do this anymore, Choi.” No longer using his given name as you close the chapter of your love story with him. You kiss his cheek goodbye as he begins to sob “Goodnight Choi Soobin.” And you turn and walk out the door closely followed by Yeonjun and Sunghoon.
“No please. Y/N! Don’t go! Please don’t go!” He tries to run after you but falls to his knees again, “please.. don’t leave me” whispering his final plea.
But he watches you get in the car with Yeonjun, Sunghoon following behind in your car.
Leaving the man you love, broken and sobbing over the biggest mistake he’s ever made.
⊹ ࣪ ˖ lawyer soobin choi is lonely. why not get a hybrid? easy, right? no. not easy at all.
⊹ ࣪ ˖ soobin choi x hybrid! puppy! fem! reader | word count: 1803 | dystopian-ish themes in a society where hybrids do not yet have rights; romance; eventual smut; angst;
⊹ ࣪ ˖ this fic has no title but is predicted to be at least 25 chapters long
──────────────── .✦
“The Elizabeth Blackwell Center for Ladies is among the top facilities in New York State. We pride ourselves on our expert care and comfort for the lady hybrids in our station. Founded in 1924, the Center has been a staple in ladies health, advocacy, and awareness. Just take a look at our premier facilities.”
Soobin’s lip twitched.
The preening smile with which the consultant spoke drove him wild with annoyance. Customer service at his prime. False smiles and reassurance. Soobin didn’t come here to check in on the welfare of the Ladies Center. Still, if the consultant can make a good impression, then maybe the shelter will have one less lady on their hands. It’s no secret that the Center loses more money then it brings in. The state of New York pays taxes to house lady hybrids aged twenty four and younger. For every lady hybrid older, the Center relies on generous donations. The consultant would never mention that, though, not when she’s trying to persuade Soobin to take a lady in his home. The consultant would do well to avoid even mentioning the housing crisis for older ladies and gentleman-the politically correct term for hybrids in this day and age. Soobin knows. He knows full well that the Center just evicted over one hundred and fifty hybrids to work as undocumented labor on farms and factories. Cruel is the modern society which aims to house hybrids for sexual pleasures and then bar them from sourcing legal income.
A lady hybrid cannot drive, maintain a job, legally marry, or institute a higher education beyond ninth grade. It seems a random number to Soobin, but the law had been in place well before he was born. A gentleman hybrid cannot drive, maintain a job that sources hours at more than thirty per pay period, legally marry, or seek higher education beyond the eleventh grade.
It’s a mind boggling thought for Soobin. Ladies and gentleman-or rather, males and females, though disparaging news outlets had advocated for the term change-don’t appear any different than other people. Soobin is even hesitant to say that males and females aren’t ‘normal’ because they seem increasingly so. There are no physical differences. Not in height, weight, skin, eye, and hair color. Neither stature nor stoutness differs hybrids from ‘normal’ humans. It just so happens their biological rhythms differ in greatness. Personality, too, perhaps.
“For example, the library,” the consultant said happily. She opened the door to the depressing room. It’s large, Soobin notes. That’s well enough.
“There isn’t a single window in here,” Soobin commented aloud. It’s in his nature to push people’s noses into the bitter truth. Might as well point it out. It’s obvious. Stone walls, linoleum floor. He’d seen gas station restrooms with more vibrance.
“The ladies get their sunshine in day-to-day exercises, as well as windows in their bedrooms,” the consultant smiled.
Soobin wondered if she ever gets sick of that ridiculous smile and the voice to match.
“What books does the library have stocked?” Soobin asked. “If these girls aren’t allowed to even continue school beyond freshman year, what’s here for them to read?”
He can’t help the sharp tincture in his voice. A cold lawyer’s voice.
The falter in the consultant’s eyes is just slight. What’s her name again? Cindy; it’s on her stupid name tag. “The girls receive an education parallel to what we deem standard for ourselves upon entry into the Center. They have a tutor until age twenty one. Even after that, however, they are all welcome to continue coming here. The library is stocked with classics to modern young adult fantasy, history, and everything in between. At the center, we encourage every lady to keep reading, writing, and keeping up with her arithmetic.
Soobin snorted. “Arithmetic? Do any of these girls know a math beyond pre algebra?” he inquired.
Cindy floundered at that.
“Whatever,” Soobin backtracked. “Listen, I’m not here to get a full tour. I’m just here for…”
“For…? For a companion?” Cindy asked hopefully.
The word made Soobin’s mouth go bitter. “No. Yes, but not-” He cut himself off, shaking his head. “Sure. A companion.”
This wasn’t a choice he’d made easily. However, since he graduated law school and actually started practicing, he found that there’s an emptiness inside him nothing can fill. He’s deliberated for a long time that he’s fundamentally broken, doomed to fail all relationships, never even have a family. He can’t even keep a secretary.
Taking a hybrid in was not something Soobin ever thought of doing on his own. Most people taking in hybrids are like him, however. Lonely.
So, the young, pretty ones are snatched by perverts. The little ones are taken in by couples who raise them like any other child. The idea of raising a hybrid child as your own is a concept introduced by newer, younger generations. Millennials started that trend. Still, of all the sour shit millennials have done, that’s by far the best. Giving hybrids a chance to grow up in a home rather than a facility in the first place?
Regardless, between adopting infants and taking in perk, young adults means there’s a large amount of older hybrids being left with the short end of the stick.
Soobin had someone in mind. An idea of someone. Old, lonely, likes to cook, needs a friend. Done. That’s it.
He feels rotten at the idea of taking someone in who would otherwise be noted as a convenient commodity.
His cousin had pointed out the idea that if Soobin did take in a female his own age, there’s a strong chance romance will flourish. It’s ridiculously common these days. Incels will scramble to get the cutest hybrid at the nearby centers. And male hybrids? Male hybrids, in general, have an easier time. They’re taken in for manual labor around the home, a helping hand here and there. Probably, too, for lonely MILFs who otherwise have no spice in their marriages.
The cold truth for hybrids is they’re sex appeal carries them forward. At least now the new generations of hybrids are going to at least grow up being taught that they’re not just someone to keep around to avoid loneliness. The perpetuated standards of hybrids are pretty much soldifiied in that hybrids cannot marry, cannot drive, and cannot work. Though, there are many work arounds and petitions. Advocates have pushed the Senate to discuss a bill to at least let hybrids have a driver’s license.
Not to mention more and more of these couples-be it man and female, women and male-are applying for domestic partner certificates. Not quite marriage, but a step in the right direction.
Either way, the idea makes Soobin’s blood curdle. In his mind, it would be subtle manipulation to bring a female home. A guy and a girl? Living in a house together? And the girl goes through wild heats every one-to-two months?
Like that’s not the number one to manufacture a relationship.
Soobin isn’t an idiot. And he’s not an asshole.
So, yeah, he wanted an old, old, old woman. Someone who just needs company and friendship in her final days.
“I was informed over the phone that the center is one of the only ones in the state that didn’t evict females over the age of forty,” Soobin explained.
Cindy paused. “I apologize, Mr Choi, but you were informed incorrectly,” she said carefully. “The statewide notice mandated males and females aged forty years or older be sent to retirement facilities.”
Soobin scoffed. “Oh, that’s what they’re calling them? Retirement facilities?” He shook his head. He can tell he’s got that look; the look that makes people anxious.
“Let’s head back to the office and get a better look at the sort of companion you’re looking for,” Cindy suggested.
The long walk back to the top floor, where the consulting center overlooks a pretty fountain, is cold. Soobin makes out the spaces he’s not shown. In passing glances, he can see rooms lined with cribs. Girls sitting in plain, tiny rooms, cramped up and silent. But sure, save the pretty fountain overlook for the people who have the luxury to do whatever they’d like.
Soobin has never been the sort to consider himself a social justice warrior. He still wouldn’t describe himself as a person who gives a fuck. And yet here he is, confronted by the stifling ache for every girl and woman in this place that just can’t leave. It’s part of why he became a lawyer in the first place.
He wanted to be a pastry chef. In high school, anyways. Then life happened.
And here he is, half listening as Cindy drones on about the benefits of taking in a hybrid.
“What age range are you seeking?” Cindy asked. “Are you looking to adopt a child? We have infants in need. There is a background check, a CPS meeting, and-”
Soobin shook his head. “No. No, no, no. Who’s the oldest? I mean the oldest.”
Cindy tilted her head. “An unusual request.”
“I’m sure,” Soobin scoffed. “I just want an old, quiet lady who will sit and watch the news with me at night. Can we do that?”
Cindy hesitated. “I can look…” She logged onto her work station. The quiet tapping and clicking goes by for about ten seconds.
“Twenty four.”
Soobin’s eyes widened. “Twenty four?” he repeated. “You said forty and over were deported, where are the mid thirties and forty year olds?”
Cindy shook her head. “We don’t have any in our care. Twenty four.”
Soobin took a steady breath. “Okay…” he said calmly.
“Would you like to meet her?” Cindy suggested.
Uh, no, no thank you. It’s Soobin’s immediate inner response.
“I assure you, Mr Choi, even though she is young enough to appear that she’s not ‘in need’, she is,” Cindy said softly. “You would be doing any of these young women a great service.”
Say less, Soobin thinks.
“She’s twenty four. She has no family. Not even a sibling. Dead mother, father didn’t sign the birth certificate.”
Of course. Please, continue telling me about the tragic girl that has nowhere to go and no one to rely on.
Fuck.
“Alright. Fine. I’ll meet her,” Soobin sighed.
He really has no fucking back bone.
It’s almost ridiciulous how easy he is to be swindled into this shit. Because Cindy is already on it, already sending for someone to bring the female in.
Soobin is already bracing himself to break someone’s heart. She’s probably wide eyed and naive, probably packing her things like Annie preparing to be adopted by Daddy Warbucks.
He’s not doing it. He’s not taking her home. He’s not doing it.
The door opens.
Oh.
Soobin seriously has no back bone.
He’s already certain that she’s going to come home with him.
୭ SUMMARY. soobin holds your hand through a crowd but doesn’t let go once you get out of it.
୭ WORD COUNT. 482
the brisk night air engulfed you, but the smoky aromas coming from the food booths chased the cold away.
not to mention soobin’s warmth right next to you.
the two of you walked side by side through the lively night market, in awe of all the foods available.
soobin’s heart was set on finding milk bread so the both of you were walking around, searching for the food stand that could satisfy his craving.
the crowd around you was building up now as more and more people poured in with hopes of tasting all the market had to offer.
a large mass of people began to congregate in your path, making things more difficult for you and soobin.
you stuck closer to him, making sure he didn’t leave your line of sight.
“i think the milk bread is past there,” he said, referencing the hoard of people in front of you.
“then let’s go get it,” you nudged him.
soobin walked first, pushing through to make way for you. you followed directly behind him, eyes locked on the back of his head.
in your desperate attempt to not be parted from him, you entangled your fingers with his and followed his lead, weaving through the dense crowd.
the feel of your fingers searching for his made soobin flustered, heat rising to his cheeks, reminded of his secret crush on you. he immediately focused on making sure you weren’t separated and you were safe.
the crowd was so thick that you only gripped onto him tighter, making him look back at you to make sure you were okay.
your eyes looked at his just to be met with his tender, reassuring smile. he wouldn’t let you go.
you made it past a tangle of excited bodies and stalls of korean cuisine with soobin in hand, feeling comforted by his closeness.
after emerging from the crowd, you found yourself at the milk bread stand you’d been searching for.
walking happily towards the booth, your attention was suddenly directed to the grip that never went away: soobin’s hand, still holding yours.
he smiled at you, squeezing your hand, making you give him a shy smile in return.
“can i keep holding your hand?” he asked, voice low enough for only you to hear.
“of course,” you nodded, feeling a rush of nerves at the triumphant grin he gave you.
upon reaching the booth, soobin ordered for the both of you, insisting he treat you.
you gave him a small ‘thank you’ as he passed you the bread, ripping into the fluffy bun. taking a bite, you understood why soobin wanted it so badly. it was soft and warm, comparable to how your hands felt interlaced together.
“should we go find some tteokbokki?” he asked, flashing you that same gentle smile you always loved and giving your hand another squeeze.
“that sounds good,” you nodded, letting him lead the way once more.
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