Hiii love your fics I was wondering if I could request an angsty fic based on this song https://open.spotify.com/track/0AkZjWYCMJ8wWiNex7LmkY?si=DjlMS9mzS9GPNjKdiPV6Hg I THINK GHOST OR GAZ it would be so good and I need some hurt/no comfort pleasee! If not please ignore this
HEY ANON WHY DOES MY HEART HURT LISTENING TO THIS SONG :SOB: let me lock in for you, my love !! chat, please listen to this song <3
cw: this is indeed hurt, no comfort. childhood friend trope.
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you had known kyle for the longest time, although never really close. same neighborhood, same primary and secondary school. never spoke unless they were polite greetings and the occassional catchups. he was an acquaintance at best.
until it was.. some career day in your final year. your homeroom teacher was passing out worksheets about what you wanted to do after school. you never really thought about it.. but going to uni seemed nice. it seemed pretty interesting enough, you weren’t sure if you really wanted to go into higher education. it seemed up in the air for now though.
kyle was sitting next to you and well, you weren’t the nosy type except for he wrote quick. you turn your head and the words tumble out of your mouth before you could stop yourself.
“garrick, you’re pretty quick with it, aren’t you?” you smile as the man turns to you, a sheepish grin on his face. you get a good look at what he wrote and he put.. huh.
“you’re going into the military?” you raise a brow as kyle seemed to just.. nod. not enthusiastically, just kind of a .. meh.
“yeah, seemed like the only option for me right now.” he shrugs, a sheepish smile on his face. “.. i just..” kyle trails off before turning back to his paper. “ah, nevermind, what’re you gonna do after this?” he pivots, changing the topic a bit too quickly for your liking.
maybe it’s a family thing, a purpose seeking thing. something he has to figure out on his own.
well. no matter. you hoped the best for him.
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towards the end of the year, you find yourself at your job, serving a group of older teenagers who seemed to be having a going-away party. you recognize some of them, making small talk about what brought them to this dingy pub. oh well. you take their orders, humming as you snatch their menus.
“what made all of you stop by tonight?” you ask curiously, eying the one closest to the end of the booth.
“military, some of us got our deployment dates so we wanna have one last hurrah.”
ah. almost everyone was going into the military. suddenly, it makes the most sense, why a bunch of em were gathering and laughing like it would be the last time they'd be seeing each other. placing down the variety of drinks, your eyes meet a brown pair who seems to be staring at you. curly hair, a navy blue cap on his head but for some goddamn reason, his stare is.. hard to ignore.
you can't help but flash a smile, giving a wave as you saunter back to grab their food. you catch snippets of the conversation when you put down the fish and chips.
all about girls, how some of them had gotten their deployment dates for basic, so on. none of your business until..
"hey," you hear a voice, making you turn. it was kyle. "wanna join us after your shift? we're goin to the pier." he extends the invite, almost nervous. his mates around him were snickering and chuckling, nudging his arm and well. you face scrunches
"i'd love to! i'm off in an hour." you respond with a beam, stunning most of the men at the table. before you turn to continue the last hour of your shift, you catch the brief smile on kyle's face and the look of defeat on the other men's faces.
it felt really nice to prove people wrong.
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when you've finally gotten off the shift and hitch a ride with kyle, it was essentially a bunch drunk teenagers, laughing and drinking whatever beer freshly 18 year olds can gather from their parents' fridge. you find yourself sipping on a can of beer, watching some of kyle's friends dick around in the sand. laughter echoes in the salty air of the late night, the waves crash and the stars shine. it's almost like it's straight from a movie.
kyle is nursing the beer in his hands as he observes the men on the beach before focusing his attention to you. he stays silent before you.. look up at him, face scrunched in curiosity. he was always such a pretty man, you never really noticed it. not until now.
either way, there was something off in his expression like he.. wanted to say something. kyle notices you looking up at himn, turning away to take a swig. you narrow your eyes, deciding to cave into your suspicions.
"alright garrick," you finish your beer, setting it down on the rotting wood of the boardwalk. “let’s talk, what’s got you so mopey, mate?” you ask, nudging him before he lets out a nervous laugh.
“i uh..” he cleared his throat before setting his drink down. “y’know i’m goin’ into the army, yeah?” kyle mumbles, seeing you nod from the corner of his eye. “i.. well, my mates all have someone to write to. girlfriends, families, the lot.. i was just wondering..” you noticed his ears flush a deep red.
“d’you mind if i send letters to you? i just.. wanna be able to have someone to write to.” he confesses, kind of taking you aback. kyle stiffens, holding his hands up defensively. “if you have a bloke waiting at home for ya, don’t- don’t feel obligated to say yes.” kyle stammers, picking up his beer and sipping on it nervously.
you hummed, laying down on your back as you pondered it. in hindsight, it was only letters. kyle wanted a reason to come home.. and well, it wasn’t too much of a hassle.
“you sure you want me to the one to send you letters? and back?” you roll on your side to face kyle, looking up as he flashed you a smile.
so full of sincerity. “wouldn’t want anyone else.”
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kyle garrick left a month after that.
saying goodbye wasn’t as emotional as you thought. a hug, a goodbye, and an address to his base. watching him retreat to the escalator leading to tsa, kyle waves and you do too. it wasn’t a goodbye, you were seeing him later.
you didn’t want to seem eager or impatient but.. you sent a letter within the first week.
the first letter you sent to him was giving him updates about all the shit happening in your small town, you send him pressed flowers in your envelope that grew locally, anything that would remind him of home. the letters weren’t as frequent but they were always packed.
packed with memories, anything that reminded you of kyle. turns out, you may be a bit more familiar with him than you expected. the letters were.. connection. like getting to know someone.
and kyle would reciprocate, his letters filled with eager responses. you didn’t realize how much of a writer kyle was until you read four pages written back to back. it was civil at first, at least the first six months. you kept him updated on the world, your world. he kept you updated on his. you’d known him, seen him, and existed in the same place as him for a majority of your lives. it felt strange to miss someone you were.. kind of distant from.
then, you got the first letter of ‘i’m coming home’. 2 weeks, he was flying into the airport and well, kyle let you know. the date was soon.
and you really couldn’t help but feel a sense of excitement. dare you say it, you were happy to hear he was coming home.
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you find yourself standing at the arrival gate, looking at the crowds of people wheeling their suitcases and trying to get by. your eyes desperately scan the mass of people, wondering if you were here early or what. you finally catch him, tall man and fuck, a bit beefier than you last remember. the thought of accidentally oggling him made your cheeks heat up. his last name ‘garrick’ being plastered on his uniform and he also seems to be scanning the crowd for you.
his brown irises land on you and fuck, kyle smiles. he smiles like he’s just seen the goddamn sunrise and he.. speeds up. carrying his backpack, his silly little hat and uniform, you feel a smile creep to your cheeks too as you meet him halfway.
kyle’s arms are wrapped around you, placing his chin on the top of your head. your arms are embrace him, face buried in his uniform. he smells like fuel, the goddamn airplane, everything military adjacent.
but.. kyle felt more than that. like.. like home. except you’ve been home this entire time. maybe this was a different form of empathy.
you look up at him, a huge grin on your face.
“welcome home, soldier.” you greet, patting his back. “they beefed you up, huh, mate?” you couldn’t help but laugh, feeling a rumble in kyle’s chest. he was chuckling at your silly quip. “good to be home, they really wanted us to be physically prepared.” kyle mumbles, ruffling your hair as a heat blooms through your chest. “dinner? to actually catch up?” he offers, a smile on his face.
you didn’t notice it, feeling your hand slip into his. you absolutely felt the heat across your cheeks, the quickened heartbeat, the pit in your stomach. instead of making a scene, you simply smiled.
“dinner would be great, you have to tell me everything.” you murmur, leading him out of the airport. kyle follows, his fingers interlocked with yours. it was warm, it was comforting, and fuck, you were happy to see him alive in one piece.
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and for the next month, you were able to savor his company until kyle receives his new deployment date: two weeks from now. dread, fear, worry. not unfamiliar feelings but when it comes to another person? you weren’t so sure. a part of you hadn’t really felt this.
suddenly, you find yourself stocking up on new envelopes, stamps, and more. kyle, in turn, finds himself taking more pictures and printing them out. your touch lingers a little longer, your gaze focuses on its face, his hugs are tighter. it’s all so painfully domestic, so fucking soft.
you find yourself touching him as much as you can, leaning against him and his arm wrapped around you on the couch. “kyle,” you whisper, looking up at him and fuck. pretty brown eyes were staring back at you, his hand resting on your arm. “i.. still want to send you letters.” you mumble silently. “letters that m.. more than a friend would send.” you confess, turning away.
your cheeks flushed, your bottom lip caught in between your teeth. you didn’t feel him inch closer to you but you felt the.. press of his lips against your temple. “y’asking me to be your boyfriend? without a date? how scandalous.” kyle teases with a shit eating grin.
that earns him a swift elbow to the stomach, eliciting a laugh from you. "oh shut up, you fuckin tease." you roll your eyes before you find yourself looking up at him. kyle is longingly looking back at you, like you just raised the sun, the moon, and everything in between. "issat a yes or a no, kyle? can't leave me hanging." you mumble as he laughs.
you didn’t realize it but your hands cupped his face, a stupid smile on your face. you didn’t realize you were leaning closer until you were a breath away.
you only realized it when you felt kyle’s lips on yours, feeling his smile into your face and his arms resting on your waist.
when kyle pulled away, he pressed a kiss to your nose. "whaddya think, love?” he mumbles, caressing your face. fuck, you were going to miss him when he had to go.
and when kyle left this time, he kissed you breathless, he held you tighter, and kissed your forehead. “i’ll be back for you, love.” kyle whispers before waving, shaking off the tears as he rode the same escalator back up to the departure area.
you hope his ass comes back.
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by the 4th deployment, it had been about almost two years since you started dating. the goodbyes weren’t easier but kyle had always kept his promise. this time, instead of a goodbye kiss, kyle presents a black velvet box on the last week before he gets deployed again for the 5th time. you were in bed, glasses perched on your nose and jaw dropped. tears begin to well in your eyes.
“kyle, darling..” you look down at the box before looking up at him.
“love, i.. is this too soon? i can’t say but.. i uh.. i want you to hold onto this. until i come back..” kyle mumbles, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “i’ve always come back for you, yeah? when i do, i’m gonna fuckin wed you and love you till the end of our days.” and you believe it.
“consider this a yes, garrick. when you come back, that ring is going to be on my goddamn finger and we’re going to plan our silly wedding.” was the last thing you promise him.
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except for this time, he doesn’t keep his promise. kyle’s letters stop shortly, within the month of him being deployed with his last message saying he’d be home soon, it’s just getting hectic. no date. no nothing.. but that was okay, you thought he’d come back.
but kyle didn’t. all that was in front of you now were the remnants of his barracks. his spare uniform, a stack of your letters he always brought because kyle was so smitten with you, you were endgame for him and everyone on that damn base knew it. the stack of unsent love letters he meant to send, filled with the sweetest promises and confessiobns before they had to lie low. his dog tags that he left on the shitty mattress the day before they left. only to be fucking bombed in their hideout. they left fucking nothing.
he promised. your soldier was supposed to come back. except he didn’t.
and all you had left of kyle was the engagement ring on your finger and his letters.
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a/n: i ache, i'm in pain, i want to sob.
thank you for sending this to me anon, i listened to that song on repeat and burst into tears :sob: i wanted to do something different for kyle, i'm not too huge on football
lowkey. i may do a simon one for the fuck of it.
see how he navigates a romance
