#sorry for any errors

[luma-black]

Tedros got raped by Aric!? (SGE)

I did not see anyone talking about this :( Would love to hear if there is any disscussion about this already

Okay i am working on a Character Study of Aric and i just kept on noticing little things that my little 12 year old brain back then did not notice.

Firstly, there is this happening in " A world without princes" (Book 2):

"Tedros lifted his eyes to Aric, smirking in the open doorway. “Special occasion”, the captain said, cracking his knuckles. “Think I´ll do the punishing myself.” Tedros turned away, like a dog offering his neck. Arics eyes flipped to Filip. “Get out.” (p. 150)

Not really evidence for anything, could be a whipping. Then later:

"Tedros looked up from his bed, stopping her in her tracks. His eyes were puffy and red, dark bags beneath them. His skin had gone from tan to ghostly pale, the veins showing through them […]. There were no bruises on him. No wounds or welts. And yet, everything in his eyes said hed been tortured beyond what a boy could handle. […] “get away from me,” he whispered. […] (p. 160)

No outside marks but tortured beyond what his mind could handle.

Did Aric just point an tell him "Youre father is dead and your mother left you" over and over or was something more sinister going on.

Plus not wanting cotact with someone male and telling them to get away from them? Not just "get out" but "get away".

And then even later Sophie sees "Tedros clutching his own arms, barely able to walk." (p. 160)

So that refutes the theory of "just" verbal torture.

and another point:

In "One True King" (Book 6) when Tedros sees his innermost secrest in the Mirror:

"Tedros, stiffening as Aric came toward him in a prison cell, a whip on his belt." (p. 186)

The only other time we see Aric torturing Tedros is when Sophie stops Aric. So why would that be the secret? To add to that, I am also 99% sure, that that second part of the scentence was not added by Soman Chainani but by the publishers, sincethe scentence is also noticeably structured differently than the others (eg. two comma-scentences).

I would love to hear what others think about this topic!

Edit: a commentor made me aware of another instance of Aric’s torture methods being described in… weird ways. In Chapter 12 of “The Last Ever After” there is this scene: 

"'Aric send[s] us to the Doom Room to be tortured for rules he completely made up. He's tortured every boy in the school like ten times already.' [...] 'That kid is evil' 'and not in a good way' Vex muttered quietly. Sophie waited for them to elaborate, but all the boys glanced at each other in tortured brotherhood, before swiveling back to her." (p. 91)

Of course, nobody likes being tortured, not even most nevers, but as far as i remember nobody ever called the old torture master “Evil, and not in a good way”. Torture to them clearly is ‘good evil’. 

I do believe that this is another instance of rape being hinted at.

[writerjayne]

There once was a god of chaos with flaming hair who's smile was sharp as glass and who's eyes were shards of ice. He was neither good nor evil, neither benevolent or spiteful, he simply existed. He danced through worlds, causing mischief and disorder wherever he went and despite it all he was adored. 

There once was a god of justice, cloaked in black, who's smile was rarer than a blue moon, and who's companion was silence. He was often mistaken for a god of war as he dealt his justice through the world's, fighting for the innocent and avenging the victims of abusers. His name was whispered with reverence to the wind that carried those whispered prayers to wherever he was. 

No one expected chaos and justice to coexist peacefully and for eons they didn't. Chaos was reckless and justice demanded order. They danced a celestial dance of push and pull with their demands but each tug brought them closer. They slowly began to understand each other, to respect their differences. They slowly began to push and pull less, slowly so slowly the distance between them began to close. They began to spend quiet moments together, simply watching the universe turn. After all even chaos needs rest. 

When the war began they resisted. But Justice was called and Chaos was needed and they found themselves on opposite sides. It wasn't by choice, and they often met on neutral ground, filled with longing as they each trying to convince the other to join them. But chaos and justice cannot always agree. So they stole the moments they could. Glances full of heat and longing across the battle field, hidden moments in the pockets of space where glances turned to soft touches and even softer kisses. Both wished for the end of this war but who do Gods pray to? 

The war raged across the universe and the two lovers (for they had long been lovers, even if they would never admit that) continued to cary thier desperation to end the war so they could reunite. Until the final battle. As both sides fought Chaos and Justice found themselves caught in a familiar dance, gravitating around each other. Then Justice blocked a blow that was meant for Chaos. As Chaos watched Justice turned on his own side to defend his lover and Chaos flew to his side. Justice caught him in a searing kiss and the two gods broke apart to stand back to back, each facing their own factions and the battle began again. 

Chaos's laughter echoing across the battlefield as he blocked strike after strike. At his back Justice delt precise blows, no one in his path was spared. The two surged back and forth as wave after wave of soldier and gods crashed against them. Neither gave in, ignoring orders from their commanders, calls from their allies, each fighting for the other. But even Gods cannot keep up an eternal battle. Even Gods get tired. Chaos sagged for just a moment, taking a breath and turning a split second to late. 

The blow struck low in his abdomen, and the quiet strangled noise that escaped his lips drew Justice to his side with a strangled wail. Golden ichor seeped between Chaos's fingers as Justice caught him before he fell. Time seemed to slow as the two lovers crumpled go the ground, Chaos cradled in Justices arms. Too late. Too late, they were out of time. 

Chaos lifted a hand to cradle Justices face, ichor streaking against pale skin. 

"I will find you again." 

A final promise, falling from the lips of a dying god. 

"You will never escape me," Justice snarled, tears streaking down his face. "I will find you in every lifetime, every world and I will never forgive you for leaving me first." 

Chaos didnt response, a faint smile on his face as his eyes slipped closed. Justice took a shuddering breath and let loose a scream that rippled across the battlefield like a shockwave, knocking everyone to the ground. Justice gathered his lover in his arms, pressing a kiss to the firey curls before disappearing. 

Lifetimes passed and the gods were forgotten. 

Justice was reborn, alongside vengeance but they were separated and justice was alone again for a long time. Justice dreamed of flaming curls, ice blue eyes and chaotic laughter and he knew a part of his being was missing. 

But what could a foster kid do? Anyone he told would call him crazy. Vengeance eventually found his brother but neither knew who they were. Neither of them remembered a time before time when they had been gods. So they did the best they could with what they had. They went to school, graduated, and accepted sports scholarships. Justice remained a protector, guarding his team and family with a fury that would befit a god. 

Then Justice was taken along to meet a new recruit. To try and convince this nobody from nowhere to join their team and play along side them on the court. Justice found this new player dull, dull eyes, dull hair, but there was something.... Something he couldn't put his finger on. 

So when Neil Josten ran in the locker room, eyes wild and limbs flailing, Andrew Minyard stopped him without hesitation. A racquet to the gut sent the boy sprawling to the floor and when he glared up at the man above him Andrew knew. He had found his chaos. The face full of fury was the face from his dreams and Andrew almost smiled. It didn't matter what Neil told Kevin and Coach. Andrew had found him first. He won. Chaos would come with them. He had promised Justice that he would. And Justice was here to collect. Andrew knew then that Neil was lying, hiding things and Andrew vowed to uncover every secret the boy glaring at him had. 

Their love was as inevitable as time passing, cosmically written in a vow on a lost and forgotten celestial battlefield eons before. And now that they had found each other, nothing would separate them again.

[sunshinechay]

So @respectthepetty’s post here got me thinking about the upcoming Thun/Yut ring fight and I think Thun is going to win the fight.

Here me out.

Thun lost his last fight to Typhoon because his trainer rigged the match. Typhoon, aware of it or not, seems to believe more that it means that he is better than Thun. Even he knows that that isn’t true. Even outside of the match being rigged, Typhoon was dosed before the match. Thun still would have won if the rigging hadn’t happened, everyone agreed. (The fact that there were bystanders who, presumably knew the sport well enough, knew that Thun should have won is what seals this for me). We are also shown at the end of this last episode that Yut is also dosing. So that’s two dosed fighters in a row for Thun.

I think he’s going to win because he’s just plan better than both of them but also for plot reasons. I think it’s also going to be found out that Yut was dosing (makes me wonder if Mr politician knows or not). If/when Thun wins, it’s going to get back to Typhoon. Who knows that Thun is better than him, who is going to find out that Yut was dosed with the same thing he was. Yet Thun still won. So he is going to be the one demanding another match because fuck this guy, how dare he win when we (meaning Typhoon and Yut) should have won because we’re dosing better boxers than him.

Thun and Typhoon have to face each other at least one more time before the series ends. They are tied 1-1 in terms of their matches, even if it’s only by dirty money technicality. Typhoon isn’t the type of guy to let that kind of thing go. He isn’t the type to hear about another boxer (who was also dosing) getting beaten by Thun whom he knows would absolutely never take any kind of steroid because it goes against his belief system. I also think at least part of it (a big part, perhaps equal to Yut) is going to be that Typhoon’s trainer is going to confirm that he rigged the match and Typhoon will absolutely lose his mind. He is so desperate to win against Thun, to actually beat him that he will demand, not ask for, another match.

I do think it’s going to look for a while like he is losing to Yut. But he’ll have a comeback win. How you may ask? Remember the warning the doctor gave Typhoon? The drugs are going to be painful when they starts to wear off. The drugs are going to be one of the reasons. They are going to come back to bite Yut in the ass, hard. He’s not going to show it, which is why I think Typhoon is also going to dose during his and Thun’s final match, but it is going to hurt him.

So yeah, Thun is going to beat Yut. He’s going to face Typhoon again and also beat him. The episode called it to heroes doing against each other but that’s not true. Thun is the ultimate hero in this narrative while Yut and Typhoon are the villains and the hero is always going to triumph over the villain.

P.S. in Yut’s case there is the added factor of his crush on Keen. He is clearly going to lose again Thun in the fight for Keen’s heart (he had no chance to begin with). So he is going to lose in the boxing ring too. Lose the love, lose the fight.

[petalsandpixels]

steve, robin and eddie where riding in steve’s car, it had become a thing, to take a drive in steve’s car, soon(ish) after the whole upside down thing

currently eddie and robin where arguing over who’s taste in music was better

“ok i’ll agree that queen is amazing, but birdy i obviously have the superior music taste”

eddie argued, trying to convince robin

she wouldn’t back down though

“eddie, i dont-“

she tried to speak when she got interrupted by the radio raising in volume

the song playing was head over heels by trears for fears

“really harrington-“

he tried but robin shushed him a gestured for him to watch

“i wanted to be with you alone…and talk about the weather”

steve sang along, eddie’s eyes widened at steve’s voice

he looked over to robin who had a smug smirk on her face

but traditions i can trace against the child in your face

wont escape my attention

the music continued, steve sang right along

robin chuckled at the look on eddie’s face, she had been waiting for eddie to hear steve sing

when she first heard him sing she didn’t even realize it was him singing

“something happens and i’m head over heels”

steve’s eyes flickered up to the mirror, his eyes locked with eddies as he sang

eddie face was as red as the stop sign they just pulled up to

….’well shit” eddie just realized how in love with steve he is.

(sorry this kinda suckz-)

[honeycreammilkshake]

"Overall, I definitely agree with you. Gege has shown investment in Sukuna as a character, and I'm hoping he doesn't give in to fan influence to abandon the progress he's made so far. "

After last chapter giving sukuna haters funny faces that look like those edits his haters make, I'm not that hopeful anymore. Giving Sukuna an awful and humiliating death to please THAT fandom sounds really disappointing from Gege, at the very least defend Sukuna since you obviously like him, have some PRIDE, show him smiling at yuji and admitting he grew.

Meanwhile Kenjaku who cut Yuki in half as well apparently deserved a comfy fight and good ending while his sins may be even greater than Sukuna lmao. Sorry I'm just pissed, I don't want fan pressure to ruin Sukuna and Yuji forever

Hi, anon!

Yeah, Sukuna definitely has a lot of haters in this fandom, despite the fact he is arguably not the worst character in JJK. He's also one of the most dynamic and fascinating of the villains, and most of that is because of his complex relationship with Yuuji.

So far, we've seen so many interesting things that really highlight how contradicting Sukuna is as a character and that also show how much influence Yuuji has over him versus pretty much everyone else. Even if Gege decides to not doing anything with all these developments, it still doesn't change the fact that they are undeniably there.

One of the most compelling developments so far, to me, has been Sukuna's willingness to listen to Yuuji, even if he claims to despise the brat's ideals and wants to break them.

After their fight in 237-238, Kashimo asks Sukuna if it's lonely being the strongest. Sukuna's concept of love is similar to competition: By being the strongest, other sorcerers admire him for that strength and come to challenge him; Sukuna responds to that "love" by vanquishing them all. He lectures that people like Gojo and Kashimo, who lament the loneliness that comes as an effect of this singular strength, are greedy. Yet when asked if he himself was satisfied with being the strongest, Sukuna doesn't even acknowledge the question. He has no good answer for why he split his soul and became cursed objects that could "cross the ages." Instead, he replies to Kashimo's question by saying love has no worth or meaning.

If his vague non-answer wasn't suspicious enough, he goes on further by trying to justify his philosophy as "a perfect way to pass time until death."

The biggest thing I want to point out is how absolutely childish Sukuna's philosophy is. It's literally just indulging himself how ever he wishes, doing as he pleases, all to pass the time. Because he is the strongest, he claims to be above weak feelings like love or loneliness, but if his lifestyle was so great... why escape it by becoming a set of cursed objects in order to awaken in the future?

(Sukuna: No comment.)

He himself describes indulging in humans as "fleeting." Even if there are in fact endless flavors for him to try, none of them last, so nothing can be savored, nothing can be remembered, and nothing can truly satisfy if it's all so passing and worthless. Even him saying it's a way for him to "pass time until death" sounds so hopeless and unfulfilling.

It's seems like to me that by becoming the strongest, he's completely lost touch with how senseless his actions are. What happens when he runs out of humans to eat, or when he runs out of lands and challengers to conquer? If he's truly convinced his self-absorbed, depraved philosophy is the ideal way he should use his strength, then how come so many of the people he meets are convinced he's lonely?

And also why does someone like him elicit Yuuji's pity? Why is Yuuji the only one who really seems to get to him?

During their fight in chapter 248, Sukuna completely shuts down and starts obsessing over why Yuuji bothers him so much. Whenever literally anyone else questions Sukuna's philosophy or his motives, he disregards and mocks them for it. Yet when it's Yuuji, he's on the defensive. Yuuji really is making him reconsider things, and he can't stand it.

(btw yes that's a literal pout he's doing right here)

When Yuuji confronts him, Sukuna has a full-out melt-down. He's literally staring into space, completely losing track of everything else that's going on. Unlike anyone else who ever questions Sukuna, Yuuji is the only one who's actually making Sukuna think for once.

When reflecting on all the other people whose ideals Sukuna was so dismissive and dispassionate about, even the King of Curses himself admits that with Yuuji it's ~different~

Okay so... I guess Yuuji being in your way wasn't good enough reason to want to him gone? No, it's his ideals and resilience that bothers you that much. Why is that? Could it be that he's gotten too far under your skin, far enough to touch your non-existent heart?

Yeah right....

Also, this relates to how Yuuji is the only one who can come close to shattering Sukuna's hard-set ways. While there have been quite a few who wanted to teach Sukuna how to "love," they went about this in a way that's much closer to the definition of competition than what is actual love, much like how Sukuna sees it.

Yorozu became completely obsessed with Sukuna because to her his loneliness was "singular." When she is reincarnated, she believes she is the one who can teach Sukuna what "true love" is.

Back in chapter 218, their confrontation is so much less complex than Yuuji and Sukuna's. Sukuna dismisses her so easily and hardly reflects on it. Her "love" is weak to him. Though she is powerful, she cannot hope to contend with the level of Yuuji's determination and dedication to his ideals.

Likewise, Gojo was also convinced Sukuna was affected by the same loneliness he was. He claims that he will be the one to teach Sukuna love because he's the closest - some people say equal - one can come to Sukuna's level of power.

Sukuna, however, is not terribly moved by this. Though he has respect for Gojo's strength and says he will remember their fight forever, he is still nowhere close to being shaken... not like he is with Yuuji.

So what makes Yuuji's approach to teaching Sukuna love so different? It's because he's so much weaker in terms of power compared to any of the others Sukuna was confronted by. He comes from an entirely different perspective that no one else has gotten close enough to Sukuna to share. And because of this, he's not making it a competition. He's being empathetic about it instead.

The whole of chapter 265 is basically Sukuna actually listening to Yuuji. It's so interesting because there is absolutely no fighting going on. Usually when someone confronts Sukuna, they do so right before, after, or during a battle with him. But in this case, it's peaceful. It's completely different than any other time someone has tried to "connect" with the King of Curses.

Yuuji's approach to connect with Sukuna is to tell him his life story and show him all the places he grew up in. It's extremely casual, close, and intimate. In response all Sukuna can say to this is -

The way he suddenly interrupts Yuuji, when before he was uncharacteristically quiet for most of the time and willing to go along with it, is very telling. He described this kind of intimacy as "creepy" to him ... which is an interesting choice of words. The mythic, immortal, all-powerful King of Curses is "creeped out" by a little oversharing and walking through Yuuji's unthreatening memories? Really?

And what's even more interesting is Yuuji's way of destroying Sukuna's world view so simply.

He's essentially telling Sukuna that his philosophy is useless.

Sukuna believes in this rigid hierarchy where only the strong can rule, and only the most selfish and heartless of the strong can sit atop that hierarchy. But what Yuuji is telling him is that... there are no set roles humans are born with. Lives aren't worthless and aren't defined by whatever "roles" they are forced into. Which means that a caste system built entirely on the "strengths" of people is about as stable as Sukuna's sanity.

Yuuji has tremendous empathy throughout this whole scene. Instead of asserting that his viewpoints are the only ones that are right, he instead admits that maybe he could be wrong... which is far different from Sukuna, who wouldn't dare admit he could be wrong.

And the way Sukuna pauses before he says he doesn't feel anything about what Yuuji is saying and showing him makes me think he's lying or downplaying how much Yuuji is affecting him.

Although some fans might argue that the purpose of this scene was to show how irredeemably heartless Sukuna is, I just can't accept that there isn't so much more going on here than that.

So... to make a too long meta short: Whatever ending Sukuna and Yuuji get, it can't take away these amazing interactions between them that defy all the expectations we had for a "static" villain like Sukuna and a "useless" hero like Yuuji.

They will forever be one the most interesting, complex, and fascinating relationships in manga to me, and I'd sell my soul for them to get the ending they deserve.

Thanks for the ask! Sorry for the mess of this post ;-;

[dangerousstrawberryshark]

A Professor's Boy Toy

Pairings: Professor Thor x College! Student male reader

(Hello, my 🍓Little Strawberries🍓! This is my first headcannon. @marilynmonroefanfics helped me with this! Thank you.)

You were always a bright kid when growing up. Make it into the honor roll with your straight As. Sometimes, you participate in National Tournaments.

People were attracted to you with your personality and good looks. It was not hard to make friends. They were on the honor roll too and were fantastic to be with.

You along with some of your friends graduated with Valedictorian and great honors. Walking down the aisle felt terrific. High school was over, now you hoped your dream college accepted you.

Your parents woke up to the sound of you screaming. Not in pain, but in absolute joy.

"I got accepted! Look!" you waved your phone before handing it over to your parents.

They looked through the e-mail you received. "We at (Dream College/University), are delighted to announce that you have been selected...""

Your parents hugged you. It was time to start a new chapter in your life.

"I-I'm failing...?"

You look at your first report card and you were already failing. It was Mr. Odinson's class.

You felt... defeated. This was the first time you ever got a grade lower than a 90. You were determined to please him (not yet)

Everything you have done wasn't enough for him. He still was failing you. If you didn't meet satisfactory progress, then you might be expelled.

"Please, Mr. Odinson! I've been doing everything!"

Thor would only smirk as you tried to reason with him. It was futile to him, but he did have something else in mind. It wasn't giving you extra work.

"W-what?!" you were shocked by what Mr. Odinson suggested. He moved from where he was and approached you.

"This is the only solution. Either you do this or I can fail you." Thor said, moving his hands down to grip your ass.

You decided to fuck it and go with it.

Thor sat on his desk, unbuttoning his suit, revealing his muscular body. There were some scars on his chest.

Your eyes moved down to his pants. There was a noticeable bulge. It looked to be 5-7 inches (12.7-17.78 cm) and thick.

"Don't keep me waiting," Thor grunted as you rubbed his bulge.

You removed his pants along with his briefs, His cock stood proud in the open. The thing was throbbing as the cold air grasped it.

Thor moved his hands through your hair, gesturing for you to suck

You licked the sides, tracing your tongue against a vein that lead to his tip. Hands massaging his large balls. Thor groaned in approval, but he was impatient.

"Fucking suck me already!"

Thor gripped your hair and pushed you down on his cock. Your eyes widen as your mouth was stuffed. Tears escaping the tears ducts.

He groans louder as his cock was surrounded by warmth and wetness.

After regaining yourself, you began to probably service him. Your tongue moving around the tip, his salty pre-cum seeping out.

"F-fuck... I'm close."

Thor groaned, his eyes rolling back as he thrust his cock into your mouth. Biting his lips to where some blood was leaking.

Without warning, your mouth was flooded with Thor's cum. You gulped down his delicious substance.

Thor pulled your head back and grin. Your face was all red and his cum leaking out your mouth

"Consider your grade to change. Maybe my colleagues would enjoy this. You have Mr. Rogers and Mr. Barnes?"

[the-monkey-ruler]

would you say macaque is something like a necessary evil in the novel?

I would say you are talking about the Six Eared Macaque right? There are a few Macaques in the story. I mean I wouldn't really say he is "necessary" as that isn't really the role he plays within the novel.

When I think "necessary evil" I think more like a force in society that is kept in order to keep the peace or to preserve other social forces that are considered more important to keep than to lose. A necessary evil is an evil that someone believes must be done or accepted because it is necessary to achieve a better outcome—especially because possible alternative courses of action or inaction are expected to be worse.

Which I do not believe the Six-Eared Macaque plays at all.

He is to play the role of the mirror to Sun Wukong. He is supposed to represent the absolute worse of what Wukong is capable of, not really being the opposite of Wukong but rather more of a foil to show Wukong what he could have been (I actually think another great foil character is Erlang Shen for different reasons). A version of Wukong that if he continued to be a warlord, continued to kill without regard for the value of life or consequences that the would turn into him.

The Six-Eared Macaque is not given a backstory so it's hard to say if they have similar backgrounds but rather it is that they are the same species and have the same drive that Wukong had at the start of the novel. Both being of immense power and, like Wukong, The Six Earred Macaque's greatest desire was to get fame and glory and to be recognized for it, despite the consequences.

Personally I believe that the Six-Eared Macaque was inspired by the Buddist saing “The dharma is not to be transmitted to the sixth ear" which means that there isn't a third person around to easdrop, usually between student and teacher. This is only used once when Wukong was speaking with Master Puti and this is where I think that the Six Earred Macaque learned the same skill that Wukong did.

Of course, this also means that he doesn't have a complete understanding. He would always be slightly off with his own teachings, always a step behind, and only be able to imitate what they were eavesdropping on as they were never told directly.

Kind of like how Wukong is supposed to be a master of transformation when he fought Erlang Shen and still lost the SIx Earred Macaque is supposed to discern and have knowledge but he is still just eavesdropping. He is never going to have the real thing.

Wukong is meant to represent Nothingness or emptiness, literally in his name meaning "Monkey Awakened to Emptiness" and how he and the Six Earred Macaque are meant to be of one mind but they are "two mind" that are fighting each other. One being one's natural impulsive thoughts and the other is the self-control people practice to think ahead. They are both inside a person's mind but only one can have full control of the body so to speak. I think a good western example of this would be like Ego vs ID but please don't take that as a one-to-one, it's not!

It is connected to how Wukong is the mind monkey and in order for him to reach his namesake that state of overcoming uncontrollable thought he needs to fight the worst version of himself, which is what I think the Six-Eared Macaque is supposed to represent. This actually goes with how I think Wukong and his connection with Bailong being the Horse of Will show how Wukong has gradually started to overcome his own thoughts and practice self-control though his dedicated willpower. (Bailong is an important allegory yet again.)

Long story short I think that the Six-Eared Macaque is to more represents Wukong's character growth. Rather than be a "necessary evil" he is another milestone to show that Wukong is about to look at the worst traits of himself and through fighting himself and wrestling with who he is, he is able to come to accept himself as well... and by defeating his doppelganger he shows that after battling himself he comes out the victor. Him moving on and changing throughout the journey shows him to be stronger and more sure of himself both mentally and spiritually.

[annmarcus63]

It's a pleasant night. His belly is full, his feet throbs after dancing all over the tavern like he was the eighteen-year-old bard he used to be. He's no longer that foolish child, not after everything. The only thing, the only one, who remains from the eighteen-year-old Jaskier is Geralt. Jaskier smiles at the thought.

Speaking of certain witcher, he's sitting on the chair by the window, the light from the fire coloring his side with an auspicious orange hue. He’s so handsome.

It's been a while since the last time he traveled with Geralt, quite a while since the last time they were traveling to a big town. Oxenfurt specifically. That's the reason he feels so content, lightheaded in the best of ways and a little bit excited. You see, he's received a letter from the university. He will be named Artist of the Decade in a major award (obviously) as part of the Oxenfurt Music and Arts festival. Artist of the decade, him, Jaskier. Valdo Marx shited in his pants when the results were published, Jaskier imagines.

"I hope he'd be there! I want to see his cherry plump face when I'm called to the stage. ‘Vulgar art’ he said, he called me untalented, the bastard" The bard is beginning to remove his clothes before going to bed, he's undoing the laces of his boots while talking like eighteen-year-old Jaskier used to. "I'm sure he'll be there. That snake. There was a time he told everyone at the music guild that the lyrics of my song were false, that you weren't even my friend!”

"The lyrics are not exactly true" says Geralt in the background, Jaskier ignores him.

"Oh oh oh I want to see his face when he sees you there"

“Jaskier” Geralt calls

"Take that mister 'i'm better than you' "

“Jaskier” Geralt calls

"Yes, darling?" Jaskier responds with affectionate exasperation. He's having a big monologue here and that's the moment Geralt decides he wants to add to the conversation. He's been quiet lately.

"I'm not going" Jaskier feels a cold blow on the center of his chest. His heart hunching on itself at registering those words. He understands perfectly well what he witcher means but decides to play dumb anyway. "Where, darling?" and apparently Geralt wants to play dumb too because he stays silent.

"Can I ask why?" Jaskier crosses his arms in front of his chest, already defensive and Geralt is there, still sitting, with a somber expression. This is going to end in an argument, both of them can tell.

"I can't"

"Alright..." Geralt hates being prompt to talk when the conversation is tense, but Jaskier can help it, doesn't want to.

"I'm sorry" at least here the witcher looks remorseful.

"No, no, Geralt. You promised!"

I'm sorry, Jaskier, plans have changed..." Jaskier takes two steps forward and Geralt stands raising his hands in a placating manner.

"What has changed...?" And then Jaskier remembers, the black speck against the window in the middle of the night a week ago. "Does this have something to do with that raven" Geralt growls, sometimes he forgets this bard used to be a Redanian spy. “Is it because of Yennefer?”

"I'm sorry" Geralt nods, giving the truth. "Is important"

"This is important to!"

And now the bard is shouting at Geralt, he hates doing that, but the witcher is not helping either.

 “It’s an award, you have plenty”

“It’s NOT an award, is THE award”

They are standing in front of the other, speaking at the other in the face, up this close Jaskier can see the pattern of tiny scars all over Geralt's face. The bard takes a couple of calming breaths, trying to keep his temper. He hates arguing with the witcher. "Can't she wait?" he asks, but Geralt only denies with his head, already so sure "What is it about?" the witcher doesn't reply "You don't even know!" there goes Jaskier temper again, the bard throws his arms in the air, exasperated and frustrated. This is important to him, and Geralt knew it and it pains him to realize that the witcher would so easily push him aside. A if Jaskier achievements aren't a thing to cherish and celebrate, as if... he's not important. "She didn't tell, she said It's important" Geralt said followed by a heavy sigh indicating that he thought Jaskier was being childish.

"This is important to me, Geralt - "

" - I know..."

" I asked you to come last year, remember? I told you that I might win the award and you promised you’ll come! I know you don't like big cities but..."

“-It's not that. She needs me” I need you too. "Last time I spoke to her she told me that if she needed my help she'll send a raven."

And that's it. Jaskier can feel his heart turning into dust and falling heavily to the pit of his stomach. It's not the same as the mountain, but it feels similar in a way. Jaskier is realizing just how much he means to Geralt. Again. Jaskier holds Geralt's eyes from below, at least the witcher have the decency to look remorseful.

"I know I promised, i'm sorry that I can't keep my word. But this is important" More important, Jaskier reads between lines.

And then after a long, resigned sigh the bard murmurs "Whatever" It keeps happening, repeatedly, suddenly and inexplicably he keeps getting hurt by his own naivety by thinking that someday Geralt would choose him, not over Yennefer, Ciri or the other witchers. Just choose him because he wants to. Because it's fair, because Jaskier wants to be choose.

He likes Yennefer now, he even caughts himself sometimes thinking of her with love. The kind of love you have for the one that makes your true love happy. But he also knows that she can fend for herself and that is possible for Geralt to wait at least a day before responding to her siren song. She gets to have him forever, why does Jaskier can't have him only for a fucking day? And now he's being pitiful, and he hates himself a little bit for that.

Maybe he's overreacting, maybe it's not that important… but it is! he wanted Geralt to be there, to share the award with him. But at the end it's not Geralt's fault, he'll not resent the witcher for having priorities, a family to take care which includes Yennefer and the others but not him. Maybe it's time for Jaskier to find his own. He has already spent enough effort in becoming part of Geralt. Jaskier goes to search on his bag for his notebook, he needs to rework on his acceptance speech.

"I'll gather we'll be parting ways at the crossroads tomorrow?" Jaskier turns around briefly, wanting to see the witcher’s expression, to be suddenly confronted with an uncomfortable and unexpected feeling at reading on Geralt's face a lot more than surely the witcher wants to convey. Shame, uncertainty, fear of not knowing what went wrong and how to prevent it from getting worse. And Jaskier feels sympathy, despite everything that has happened, what is happening, Geralt tries, on his own, albeit slow way.

"Yeah"

"Good"

Geralt starts fidgeting on the same spot from before, when Jaskier decides he had enough and turns. The witcher hasn't moved an inch, he's waiting for the other shoe to drop, the bard can tell. But it won’t come to that. Not anymore. Enough of this, enough of scraps.

"I'm going out, don't wait for me awake" murmurs Jaskier when he's at the door. Geralt calls for him, but Jaskier pretends not to hear.

 

 _________________

In the morning Geralt arrives at the stables to find Jaskier already waiting for him by Roach. They travel side by side all morning, Jaskier holding his notebook in front of his face, he seems to be reading and rereading the speech, which is weird because he said he's already memorized it. They haven't spoken much, and Geralt hates it. He should be saying something, anything! Something along the lines of "I'll go with you" but what if Yen...?

Jaskier stops and turns around to face him from below, one hand scratching Roach's neck. They are at the crossroads; it's almost noon and Geralt doesn't know what to say. Their gazes lock for a long time, the wind singing softly around them, the leaves of the trees falling like orange rain. It's so calm. "Take care, Geralt" says Jaskier in the softest of voices and turns right. Geralt watches him marching away, wondering why it feels like a goodbye.