#soup god

[soup-of-the-day-official]

the Adage of the Bouillon al-Gaib (as it is known to my village)

they (singular) will be of the village, and born to a Holy Witch

they will be aware of things others cannot see

they will greet you with Holy Words and their gifts will be a blessing

they will know the ways of "Heaven" (VERY rough translation) as though they were born to them

they may be both dead and alive (yet another highly debated translation)

and their words shall carry death eternal to those who stand against Soup

[soup-of-the-day-official]

my vision, the first prophecy—part 4

and the beast ruled over the people and the people lived their lives in service to him and had no rest from their toils and knew neither justice nor peace under his rule

and i beheld another beast coming up out of the Soup the beast was like a lamb, with seven horns and three eyes and the lamb was lifted from the Soup by the hand of God and placed upon the land and the lamb challenged the lion and the lion laughed at the lamb, and prepared to kill and devour it but before the lion could pounce, the lamb stamped its hoof and there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair; and the moon became as blood; and the stars of heaven fell unto the earth and the lion who was king of the earth did flee from the lamb, and from the throne and hid himself in the dens and in the rocks of the mountains and the lamb was crowned and the voices of the earth rejoiced and they chanted, and called him Bouillon al-Gaib for he was their savior and their king

[doriangraysrockcollection]

husband: how much ham should i put in the soup?

me: i can't tell you what to do with your soup. making soup is personal. making soup is a conversation between you and god.

husband: so you've gone crazy

me: the soup god. there's a soup god now.

[soup-of-the-day-official]

Update on the Soup God Situation

hello everyone. as per my last update, the Soup God still will not talk to me.

word of my failure to obey the Soup God's order has spread among the other Soup Bears (family, community etc) and they have turned on me. they have started calling me Rodrigo the Coward. i can not show my face in the local Soup Church anymore, as the entire congregation has taken to booing me every time i try to enter the sanctum. i even found a note taped to my door this morning saying that whoever wrote it hopes i get captured by the Evil Stew Goblin, as divine retribution for my disobedience!

it is strange. i would think that the sheer degree of this ostracization i am forced to endure would compel me to capitulate. yet, as i write this, i am more firm in my convictions than ever.

dear Soup God: i am sorry, but i have to draw the line somewhere. martyrdom is one thing. but i will not sacrifice the lives of others. if that must be done, You do it. if the Thermos must be opened, for Your sake, You open it! i am a prophet. not a warrior; certainly not Your Holy hitman.

my paws are clean. they will remain clean.

love, Rodrigo

[soup-of-the-day-official]

Soup God Condones Holy War, cont'd

and i said to the Soup God, "but Lord, how am i to vanquish these servants of Evil, who cleave the hills, and breaketh walls and weapons?"

and the Lord said, "be patient, Child of Soup, for in time you will understand."

and i said, "in what time, Lord? the enemy wait now outside these very walls, crying blasphemies, and howling for blood like demons in the night."

and the Lord said again, "be patient."

"Lord," i said, "do You not speak of the Great Flood that will destroy everything, and return the All-One unto itself? what do these affairs of war matter when the End Times loom so near?"

and the Lord said, "ends always follow beginnings. as such, they are always near. where a dog's nose ventures, its tail is never far behind."

and, dismayed, i said, "Lord, why do You talk of dogs? we were talking of war, and apocalypses, and soup. why must You bring dogs into it too?"

and the Lord said, "look not to Me for answers, but to the eye of your mind. for I shall grant you Visions, that you may understand My Holy Machinations with a vividness that lies beyond the realm of words."

and i said, "yes, o Lord."

and then the Lord showed me. and i Saw.

[soup-of-the-day-official]

Soup God Condones Holy War

good news! i have spoken to the Soup God, and It told me It is fully in favor of the whole Soup Jihad thing. in fact, It specifically instructed me to "take up the sword in Its name and defend the land from Evil." so, that's pretty cool.

don't get me wrong; i was like, super honored. but i was also conflicted.

i said, "is to kill not a sin, o Lord?"

and the Lord said, "not if they be wicked."

and, blinking, i said, "really, o Lord?"

and the Lord said, "yes."

[soup-of-the-day-official]

i want to be respectful of everyone's beliefs. i really do.

but that's kinda hard when i literally met Soup God and It showed me all the secrets of the universe and stuff. like. :T

uuuugh idk idk idk

[cherryb0om]

Hrrg. Soup

Soup is good

Does anyone else like soup