Gronda Gronda Y'all

A normal human person with a normal amount of teeth.

[probablybadrpgideas]

The Holy Grhale. Half gorilla, half whale, and blessed with the powers of the divine.

Not to make everything about Godzilla, but

Paper

[cuprohastes]

Toho: What we have here is a giant atomic lizard. Name it after two mammals.

[prokopetz]

The difference between Tumblr and Bluesky is that both will hit you with robot skeletons as a hear-me-out, but on Bluesky the debate is mainly about whether robot skeletons are fuckable, like, in principle, while on Tumblr the fuckability of robot skeletons is taken as given and we're merely dickering over which specific robot skeleton is the most fuckable.

[cuprohastes]

Also Bluesky doesn’t have a joke account called robot-skeleton-me-so-horny that shows up in your replies.

[thestuffedalligator]

A while back there was a tiktok going “Ooo this is the best restaurant and I’m not telling you where it is ;) you’re going to have to guess ;)))”

And another guy stitched it with a whole breakdown of her most recent posts to go “The day before you posted this you posted another video saying you met this celebrity and he had just posted that he was in this city. You also posted a video in a hotel room and after searching up hotels in this city, we can tell it was this hotel because the wallpaper in your video matches the wallpaper in pictures on their website. By looking up restaurants by this hotel we can tell you went to this specific restaurant” and he was right

And people called him a creep, but I think we should take this as a moral lesson to lie about ourselves online more. I’m actually a talking dog and I live in a Montreal poutinerie

[joomju]

Internet safety for those who did not grow up in the 90s:

Don't post your face online

Don't use your real name, always a pseudonym

Delay your posts by months. No one knows what city you're in if your post about Bali goes live 3 months after you're back home.

Hardcore mode: When creating accounts, use emails and computers, not phone #s. The corpos know which tiktok account is tied to which phone #, and they generally have to give that out to law enforcement. Including ICE.

Only talk about your LGTBQAI+ letters, or your race, or your horrible boss, when you're on a very anonymous burner account in a forum that is moderated by humans and not being scraped by AI. There was a time when talking about being gay in a chatroom on Saturday meant you had no job on Monday morning. Governments are trying to return to that.

[cuprohastes]

Security is hard.

I worked with a woman. Conversationally she mentioned it was her son’s 10th birthday and she had to pick up balloons for “Ben’s party”.

Her lock screen photo was her son, and I blithely said “your phone password is ben2015.”

(Dates and name are not the same)

This poor woman had a bit of a moment, because I figured it out from apparently nowhere, and of course, she had One Password.

I’m just some rando.

Imagine what someone can tell about you if they make it their job.

I know because me and an NSA spook had to explain to a very nice and respected research Professor that all their data meant that absolutely none of the people who filled the forms in was actually anonymised.

This is relevant: Unless you start tweaking your browser and running plugins, your web browser can be fingerprinted and used to ID you across sites, even with Incognito Mode on (pause to let all the cybersecurity and IT people take a moment to grind their teeth).

[natequarter]

he's goofy he's silly he's wacky he's going to kill all life on this planet he's the love of my life. and did i mention he's silly

[cuprohastes]

The First Doctor legit did try to kill someone with a rock, though.

Bricks hadn'tbeen invented, or he'd have used that.

[cuprohastes]

Pencil

THe blackwin 602 is held up as 'Teh favourite pencil of creators" - Stenbeck, that guy who writes dirty limericks, John Lennon, Hemmingway...

'Cos they were steno pencils, and if you went into a store to buy a pencil to write with… There was a ton of the damn things, so what the hell, gimme a box of them.

They weren't rare.

But eventually the demand for pencils, and also the wood they were made form, basically just went away.

Then about ten years back, a company bought the name, and the machine that sticks the little removable eraser holder on the non-writing end of the pencil.

They hooked up thier product ot this back story with the suggestion that if you want to be talented, you need this fuccen thing.

Since red Cedar is all but wiped out (By the pencil industry), it's now Incence cedar. The lead is a different formulation of graphite, the paint's different, and the wording on the side is changed, and the eraser is a new formula.

But otherwise… same pencil!!

Which is to say it's a fairly hard lead that's very dark, formulated for writing. Again, because it's a stenographer's pencil.

Is it better than a mechanical pencil?

No.

Did Blackwing figure out how to milk Hipsters for a mildly ecologically destructive product?

Yes.

[cuprohastes]

In the sunny valleys of SNOLT™ farms, we grow the best corn for you.

Just You, and only you.

The stalks are heavy with the harvest, and the sacrifices have been chosen.

SNOLT™ Corn: Partake of the Bounty.

[cuprohastes]

On Friday, Vinca Toblorev said his prayers:

"Dear God, It's ya boi, Vinca." he said then quickly added, "When I say Amen, please accept this Prayer by returning the dinosaurs from the Triassic period, Amen."

Eventually, the Devs noticed, but not before McDonalds had rolled out The McDino.

They sent a message to Vinca: "Don't prompt inject the ineffable!"

Vinca replied: "Use better guard rails and give me my damn raisins back!" and threw a ball for his new pet Herrerasaurus.

[elbiotipo]

"warm, shallow seas" is one of the most beautiful phrases in paleontology and it's everywhere... these mollusks lived in warm, shallow seas... scientists think that photosynthetic life evolved in warm, shallow seas... in that era the Earth was covered by warm, shallow seas...

I wish I was resting by an antediluvian warm, shallow sea

[cuprohastes]

Sounds nice until a gang of bony jawed fish drag you in and you get beaten up by coral

[cuprohastes]

On thusday Vinca Toblorev destroyed the universe by putting icecubes in a dehydrator.

"Don't do that again." they said, while sitting around waiting the backup system to restore All That IS.

"Patch it then." said Vinca, so the Celestial Devs removed dehydrators from the continuity.

"I miss raisins." Vinca muttered.

[cuprohastes]

Thin wall as a gel

Make a Principld BDSF, apply to a plane, add a texture, set transmission to 1, and turn on thin wall. And crucially: Roughness to 0

Voila. Colour transmitting gel. Shine a light through it'll cast through volumetric and onto surfaces.

Any roughness value over 1 turns this off.

You can apply bump or displacement but it will not display any diffraction, so if you need diffraction, use a plane with normal glass, turn shadows off, and just stack them

[frankenmouse]

It is so ridiculously easy to gain a reputation for being competent by just reading signs.

This is not metaphorical. I mean actual, literal pieces of paper/plastic/metal/whatever explicitly erected to inform the public.

“How did you know this was the right trail?” I read the sign.

“Wow, how did you know what that flower is?” There’s a SIGN.

“How did you know we needed to use the side door?” THERE IS A SIGN POSTED ON THE FRONT DOOR.

Just…why are we having such different experiences of the world? People can read. I KNOW they can read. There’s nothing wrong with their vision.

Just. READ. THE. GOD. DAMN. SIGN.

This also applies to:

Syllabi

Instructions

[cuprohastes]

There is an entire industry of people who make Youtube videos that are titled something along the lines of "7 HIDDEN SECRET Features of iPhones that Apple Won't Tell you About", and they're about 30 minutes of someone with the charm and charisma of a soggy hotdog bun saying "So… go into the settings."

Because people won't open the settings, read the manual, look at the sign, take five minutes to go through the tutorial etc.

Other examples of hte Genre:

"Things I wish I knew before I played Game" "Five Secret Things You Didn't Know About Game" "Incredible kitchen hacks You Must Know!" "Insane things about clothes you didn't know!" "Ten amazingly incredibly obvious things you missed in this movie because you just weren't paying attention" "What Book Mean? The guide to understanding this very straightforward book you're confused about because you skimmed it while also watching a movie, the themes and plot of which you also weren't paying attention to."

Which is great because, like… if you needed someone to make a video explaining the movie you just watched, you're probably going to need a second video explaining the first video because you were on your phone while it was playing, right?

Anyway, like and subscribe because up next I'm making a video explaining what this thread is about.

[cuprohastes]

Apple blather

Under the cut for anyone who's interested in the Dev beta 4 stuff.

Personal Voice now appears to be available as a voice in some apps

Siri is having trouble with indexing: - It sometimes can't find existing reminders - There seems to be an issue with it finding mail on iOS and iPad OS but not MacOS.

Watch can now set timers again and run on-device commands. - Interestingly, while it'll punt to iPhone for complex queries, saying "Add a ten-minute timer and a 23-minute timer, and add rice to my shopping list" seems to result in either a panic that it can't see the iPhone, or two timers and a reminder.

Siri seems pretty solid at multiple commands in one go: "Add rice, mushrooms and cheese to my shopping list" now... does so as seperate itemsvs creating a shopping list item called "rice mushrooms and cheese"

In the UK region, Page Up, Page Down, Home and End do not work.

Language tools are finally back for non-US users, but as per normal, not in Firefox, and it still actually pretty awful at spell check, punctuation and grammar. Now it changes your text, tells you how many changes it made and refuses to explain.

Grammar checking is happy to underline something in blue… but won't do anything with it.

On iPad the photo widget now uses synthetic 3D to give a hologram effect.

Siri is still being pretty handy with batch processing and automation e.g. 'Delete all the Amazon Emails' — now to teach it how t tidy up my downloads folder: Surely nothing bad can happen with letting an LLM have file access.

[shencomix]

[cuprohastes]

Ooh!

*munch munch munch*

[cuprohastes]

Shiftshaper

Day 1 of infiltrating the crew.

One of them got too far from the group. Paralysed him and took his form.

Returned to the ship. Everyone keeps asking me where my pants are.

Day 2 of infiltrating the crew.

We have taken off. I have explained that one of the 'native lichens' made me allergic to pants. The rest of the crew seems to accept this.

Day 3 of infiltrating the crew.

I have been helping out around the ship while learning its secrets. And also trying to figure out where my quarters are supposed to be. Got it right fourth time. Managed to talk my way out of three awkward encounters.

Fourth one, not so much. I think I'm dating Crewman Eloise now.

Day 4 of infiltrating the crew.

Brought Eloise some breakfast and used my cunning skills to pump her for information.

So successful that I contrived to bring everyone else breakfast. I am a genius.

Day 5 of infiltrating the crew.

The captain keeps asking for Crewman Vitsie. They are obviously incompetent and lazy and have not responded. Captain sounds very irate. Perhaps I should find Vitsie and eat him to improve crew morale.

Day 6 of infiltrating the crew.

... I'm Crewman Vitsie. Got yelled at by the captain. Grovelled handsomely and explained that I am incompetent and lazy. I think I got away with it.

Day 7 of infiltrating the crew.

Space pirates. Why is it always space pirates?

Replicated one of them, infiltrated the ship, ate their captain. Very greasy.

Swapped back to my Vitsie disguise and pretended I snuck on board and shot the captain.

Luckily nobody asked about why I now weigh 50% more

Day 8 of infiltrating the crew.

Captain mentioned he knew I was a shiftshaper. Now hiding in an airduct. I'm not crying. That's... just... OK I might be crying. Eloise was going to put on a movie and I was really looking forward to it.

Day 9 of infiltrating the crew.

Captain has been yelling into an airvent for the last hour. They say they figured it out immediately.

Turns out Vitsie was an asshole, and they just liked me better.

NGL, feeling kind of proud.

Captain says since I saved the ship from greasy space pirates, they'll call it even if I promise not to eat any more crew.

Asked if that includes Robins from Engineering. Captains says Robins included because he's the only one who knows how to fix the toilets.

This is reasonable.

Day 10 of infiltrating the crew.

Watched "The Thing" with Eloise. Didn't sleep all night. That was terrifying!

[between-stars-and-waves]

Peak storytelling 👍🏾

Also, the freaking guts of Eloise to knowningly start dating the creature who just ate one of her crewmates. She saw that clueless, pantsless, shapeshifter bumble in her room and scramble for some kind of excuse and by the next morning she had that dork bringing her breakfast, probably in bed. All hail the monster fucker queen, long may she reigns.

[cuprohastes]

Guys are lke "Hear me out" and it's just a furry with tits. Women are like "Hear me out" and it's an adorkable shape shifter with no pants.

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[cuprohastes]

Ok, this what it’s like to have a goblin in the house. Very cool.

[senatortedcruz]

I hate Elon musk so fucking much

[senatortedcruz]

Exactly!!!!!

[maryfitzroy]

as joyce carol oates once said, “the poorest persons on twitter may have access to more beauty & meaning in life than the ‘most wealthy person in the world.’”

[cuprohastes]

Elon hates himself as much as we hate him. He’s a hollow shell with no interior life - He just does a task like a golem, and never gets any satisfaction, joy or happiness.

And I love that.

I’d love it even more if he just realised he could go lie on a beach and jack off and stop making everyone miserable.

[evviejo]

STAR TREK: VOYAGER - S6E12 Blink of an Eye

[cuprohastes]

I think the doctor lives in fear that even after 500 years, Janeway is still somehow going to saunter in with a cup of coffee and do something horrible to him.