#spamton.chr

[suchagoodyear]

What are y'all's favorite orders? Asking for a friend who has no idea what they want

The usual battery acid's good for me. I'm a simple Addison.

i don't drink!

Ooh! I think out of everything I've ever had, I think my favorite has to be theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEE

EEEE/E=EE-!EEE3EE/-==EE_EE-=EE*EE!!EEE/EEEEEEE--

ohhhh dear. not again.

[suchagoodyear]

It’s December 31st, 1996, just a few hours before the New Year.

A small white Addison in his mid-late 20′s is getting ready to go on an outing to the Cyber Bar with his friends. His attire? The usual. It’s not like he has much anyways. He doesn’t have a New Year’s resolution just yet, but he’s thinking hard about it as he gets dressed.

As soon as he gets his things situated, he’s just about to head out the door of his apartment.

What’s running in this little mind of his? Asks for Spamton are now open.

[suchagoodyear]

hey spamton...

is.. *snickering*..

is your refrigerator running

Well... refrigerators don't have legs.

Oh my gosh! Did it grow them??

...

[suchagoodyear]

nibs, i know you’re kinda sick of this guy but is this REALLY the best way to get him off your back?? you gotta admit this all sounds reeeeeeal sketchy

Nibs?

what's up, spamton...?

Do you HATE me? Like legitimately hate me?

uh-

Don't think I haven't noticed. I'm not stupid. You're my favorite person on the entire Web, I don't want to know that you've been lying to me the whole time.

no, no. i haven't been lying to you, spamton. i support you on all your endeavors. i would never hate you. did i ever hold a grudge on you even after i rejected your awkward confession? no! i could never hate you.

so, chin up, spamton. i don't hate you. let me see that award-winning smile. i think you have the potential to be the, erm, "biggest shot" i've ever seen...

That...means a lot to me, Nibs. Ya really think I should take that deal?

you should! i believe in you!

[suchagoodyear]

Don’t wanna be one to give mixed signals, but Spamton really shouldn’t take the deal. It‘s far too sketchy!

See you get it! There are so many scams out there... and usually, the biggest scams are from the most persistent people!

I've tried to talk to Nibs about it! They still think I should just go for it!

Which I really don't understand. I mean yeah, they can't exactly help me 100 percent of the time.. which is ok!

But we're still making GREAT progress!! I'm still afloat, aren't I? That's all thanks to them! I don't need sketchy scam artists to get to the big guns! Not while Nibs is here!

[suchagoodyear]

ITS ME BOY IM THE TELEPHONE SPEAKING TO YOU INSIDE YOUR BRAIN LISTEN TO ME BOY LEAVE YOUR FRIENDS WE DONT NEED THEM COME WITH ME AND REACH HEAVEN WE’LL HAVE BIG SHOT TIMES IN THE LIGHT LISTEN TO ME BOY YOUR FREE WILL IS AN ILLUSION

[A Timeskip Has Occured Since The Last Ask]

Back at this huh?

While I appreciate the hospitality um... Mike. I'm doing just fine! After all! I got Nibs to help me out! Sure they've been.. super duper busy as of late but-!

... they.. they still help with some things.

[suchagoodyear]

DON'T TAKE THE DEAL. WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT TAKE THE DEAL. THE VOICE IS LYING TO YOU, TRUST ME.

I am, ehh...quite intrigued, actually! It was my resolution...I think.

I'm listening! Uh...guy...?

IF YOU MUST REFER TO ME BY NAME, YOU MAY CALL ME MIKE.

AS FOR YOUR ASPIRATIONS...

YOU WISH TO BECOME BIG? I CAN PROMISE THAT AND MUCH MORE.

Much more, huh...?

Haha, nah... As interesting as it is, do I really think I'd believe a chump like you? What was it, Michael? You can't just make your business BOOM like that! You gotta put hard work into it!

(Though I have been workin' hard to get where I am...and...it's not workin' well...)

It's gonna take MORE THAN THAT to convince me!

THEN SO BE IT.

[suchagoodyear]

The Countdown...

fiiiveee !!!!!

4!

Three!

2~!

ONE!!!!!!

[ In unison, all the Addisons shout “HAPPY NEW YEAR!” ]

[ And then Spamton wakes up at home. With a headache. ]