#spoonie issue

[frownpuccino]

My stomach: FOOD! we need food!

Me: *gives stomach food*

My stomach: hoW FUckINg DARe yOU!!!

[missfitsue-blog]

Spoonie Issue #3

Things I've Forgotten Since Epilepsy:

Being held at knife point

Why I stopped talking to my maid of honor (she asked me how she could cause a miscarriage after I'd lost my first 2)

My honeymoon

Who my son's Godparents are

My own age (seriously)

I've stopped asking when there's a blank. It scares people so I let the gaps be.

[missfitsue-blog]

Spoonie Issue #1

Go ahead and laugh at me for waiting for traffic to clear both ways before I cross a four lane road. I routinely slam into my own door frames. I'd rather not trust my depth perception and assessment of the speed of a moving vehicle. *shrug. Just saying.

[missfitsue-blog]

I just cleaned my own ultrasound room. I think I'm nesting.

[missfitsue-blog]

Spoonie Issue #5

I've been asking for help for 26 years and only now find out that there is a history of seizures in my family. I'm an only child. Mom, wth?

[missfitsue-blog]

Spoonie Issue #4

When you thought they got it...

At a school function my momfriends were talking shop and it came up again that I used to teach. One of my better momfriends looks right at me and says, "why are you off? You could totally handle that", not in a mean way, worse, in a confident way. I was like, " _________, it's called faking it. They're looking at brain surgery. I might have an actual lobotomy". Her face! I watched her take that in, first the horror of it, then her comment, how everyone heard, back to me and then it was like a fast forwarding version of someone tallying my missing days, the weird off key things I sometimes say, the cancelled plans, the tiny physical abnormalities and changes, the things all adding up and the opinion of me changing right there. I don't know what to do with myself after seeing that.

Part of me is really proud at how well I must be doing if someone I consider a friend can't tell how shit I'm really doing.

Part of me is afraid that maybe I'm not that sick and should be getting more done.

I thought that my very few friends understood me, accepted me, but they don't.

[missfitsue-blog]

Is it good or bad that my Neuro appointment was moved up 7 months, after only crying in public once over another setback?

[missfitsue-blog]

Spoonie Issue #2

I'm not sure if I like the old people mall because I function at the average patrons level that customer service expects, but happily, or hate it because I automatically access if I'll make it to the average patrons age.