So life update:
I'm officially done with my masters degree. I'm well over the age of being an adult and yet i still feel 22 in my head. Yes i have to heal to metaphorically feel somewhat closer to my age. Yes im saying that as if it's a tiny errand a trip around town can fix. This was supposed to be posted on 5th May 2025 but i couldn't have processed any of it on the last fokin day of my exams so thats alright. I don't even know what i'm typing. Life sounds unimaginable outside these instructional walls. By that i mean the coming journey is bound to be lonely. Academically, personally, socially. Yes i know i can change that. Yes i eventually will. But right now i'm supposed to be packing my stuff in this mess of a hostel room i call my own till 10th of this month. What the fuck. I haven't started. because ugh. I mean i was never not incredibly lonely. I've lived my whole life inside myself. There's nowhere safer. You can't tell me there is. There isn't. I told my mentor(s) I've inadvertently stopped thinking about my feelings and having feelings about my thoughts. But the exams are over and im back to square one with a boxfull of thoughts and feelings in the shape of puzzle pieces i don't know where to put. Or maybe its the music(which btw I'll post the jam link of if anyone wants in). Okay lets be positive. No i hate making that medicated ahh conscious decision. Lets. Instead. Try.Not. Being. Negative. Yeah that sounds so much better. Okay. I have a plan. I may feel lost but its not permanent. Growth isn't linear. And im pretty positive i'm not the same as i came. New beginnings are scary. Its okay to be scared. Its okay to have a thousand thoughts and cherry pick through them in order to stay sane and still connected to your reality. Also. God is not gonna let me down. Okay lets do this.
