#squeezing you

[atrashmammall]

^_^

[relentlessgrief]

@rubistella sent:

At first, Astarion was nowhere to be found, and what a strange thing it was, the vampire’s absence. When he was found, hunched in a shadowed corner, knees drawn tight against his chest, it was clear that fate had dealt the spawn a dirty hand, and it seeped into the cracks of his mind like old rot. Thick curtains drawn shut, the room stifled in an unnatural stillness, as though the air itself had been trapped and left to stagnate. His breathing —if you could call it that— had altogether stopped. So silent, so… Empty? Unblinking, static crimsons burned holes into the floorboards, their usual sharpness dulled, turned inward as the vampire stared at something no one else could see. Upon closer look, one could even catch his pale form shaked with shivers… so subtle they were almost imperceptible, yet somehow, his body looked smaller, folding in on itself. Something terrible must have happened in Connor's absence.

It was a simple trip to the restoring city of Baldur's Gate with Gale, primarily to help rebuild some structures before returning back to the old campsite since the fall of the Inn that they were staying at. The entire place, last everyone checked, was torn down and a downright mess overall with the ceiling collapsed in and the structure left in a mix of disarray.

With Lae'zel gone, Karlach sent back to the hells in which there would need to be rescue mission alongside Wyll, parts of the group were split. Shadowheart had already departed. It was only a matter of time that Gale would head back to Waterdeep. Halsin on the other hand, would stay within the city for a time. He was helping the refugees for the time being.

Connor needed to return to camp to pick up something for Gale that he forgot, with Connor insisting that they'd take care of it for him.

What the aberration didn't expect, however, was for the camp to look as if it had been rummaged through. Things knocked over. A tent--Astarion's tent, shredded to pieces with what looked like claw marks. His furniture was knocked over, some of his glassware shattered, with the vampire nowhere to be found.

"Astarion? ASTARION!"

After frantic searching, repeated desperate calling out, and with the help of his own familiar, Charly, to assist him in the search, those few minutes didn't turn into anything longer.

Each minute passed felt as if it were hours.

In one of the worn down open buildings, Astarion was curled up, unresponsive, and possessing the vacant stare that Connor came to know all too well.

Connor's shoulders drop, standing at the gaping maw of the open structure that was barely functional for a hideaway space. A drawn curtain over the wall, as he's safe from the blaze of the unforgiving sun.

For someone without a heart, Connor can't help but feel like his is falling out of his chest.

"Astarion."

[iloveacronix]

Oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my god

[cruilty-ink]

Hey Twig, this is Callum

CALLUM!!!!!

I am going to hold you. And never let go

[euesworld]

"Holding your hand is my love language.. like it really speaks to my soul. Feeling your warmth next to me makes me feel ok about life, I give your hand a squeeze and my heart gushes just a bit.. I love holding your hand, to be honest. There is a whole language that goes along with it, a string of heartbeats and affection.. but it's a simple selection. I just want you.."

Hold my hand as we walk through the park, better yet.. hold my heart - eUë

[rgbwings]

saying you wish to grant us small artists more exposure grants such a warm feeling to me personally. Knowing other artists want to bring others into the light is a lovely thing, so thank you

remember that there's always someone who loves and appreciates your writing

[lilmissnia]

Sun response if this is okay:

"Sunbeam!" He said in delight as he rushed over to the door when you slipped inside the daycare. His hands hovered outstretched, close but waiting for permission. "How are you doing? It's late you know, are you feeling alright? You should've clocked out hours ago, is something the matter?"

He bent down, his faceplate tipped nearly 90° with faint clicks to angle his head to meet your gaze. "Come on sunbeam, that's not all. It's sweet you want to say hey, I always enjoy the company!" the chipper tone softened, "But I'd also like to hear what's been going on? You help us out, you're insistent at times, it's enduring really. But I need you to say what's running circles in your head. Or that's not really fair that I can't help you too."

Even the small smile you tried to share was strained. Your body language tucked inward, almost deflated, this wouldn't do. No matter the subtle ways you tried to brush the topic off yourself, Sun wasn't buying it. He watched as you tried, repeatedly, watching you take a breath to speak. Only for the air to slip back out when the conviction slipped away just out of reach. He gave a chuckle and held out a hand towards you, palms up and waiting as he wiggled his fingers.

"You know, you're doing great. You need something right? It's not easy reaching out when you're so in-d-pen-dent." He annunciated, making a show of checking his wrist as internally he checked the time. "And we have half an hour before Moony comes out. So there's no rush. How about we start small?"

He coaxed you from your stupor with small questions at first. Making sure you are, find out when you last had some water. And making a show of fretting it hasn't been enough; He herded you to the security desk to where you could take a seat as he grabbed a water bottle from the supply closet and passed it to you. Insistent he wouldn't continue his little game of 20 questions till you took a drink. Taking a swig, with the bottle now in your hands, you had something to fidget. Listening to the faint crinkles each time you squeezed along the ridges of the plastic bottle, it was a good grounding tool. It made him smile, his hand would be better to hold, but baby steps. He sat over the air like he was in his own seat and smiled when that got a faint chuckle out of you.

He continued the game, watched anything lately? Talked with any of your friends online? He started to gently press when you sighed. He toed around the subject area, coaxing you again with gentle praises when you tried, even if it didn't go as planned. It made you become insistent to show your point how things weren't going as planned. He didn't try and give you answers to your dilemma, that isn't what you were seeking right now. He listened intently, giving subtle words to encourage you to vent. When your words tried to tail off, he insisted your throat was getting parched to where you should take another drink. Pressing again by repeating your last few words on the topic back to you so you'd continue. When you deflated again, you were almost there.

His smile was gentle and he held out his hand again, steady this time as though reaching out to a timid cat. "And you're allowed to feel that way. You're alive, life won't be perfect. But you do what you can to get over this hurdle. And I think a good way to continue is with a hug perhaps?"

He waited patiently, once your hand was tentatively placed in his, he gently grasped and righted his posture to his full height. Feet planted securely, he gave gentle tugs to guide you to your feet, circled you to his side of the daycare, then released your hand to scoop you up. One hand to your back and his arm tucked below you so you could sit comfortably on his arm. He pulled you into his chassis and squeezed gently behind your back. He had endless patience, it was rewarded when you wrapped your arms around his spindly neck and rested your head against him.

It was okay if tears didn't come, it would help to have a good cry. It was silly that humans would push down their needs to express themselves. He would be content for now and help work your way to healthy ways of letting your pent up emotions ease as time went on. He would be sure to treasure your vulnerability and openness with them when you do cry. The hand upon your back warmed up as he rubbed soothing circles. Giving more circular brushes to spots where he felt tension. He started slow with light rocking as he teetered slightly side to side. When no complaints arose, he continued to sway in his own little dance that was contrary to the soundtrack that played over the daycare. You were warm and soft, and it was a delight that you came to them. This was the trust and bond he wanted to nurture.

"I'm glad you came back sunbeam to talk with me. Thank you for letting me listen.. we should do this more often."

------

I hope this was okay to give. I hope you can feel better, give yourself time. Take care of yourself, there are people who care for you ❤️

I know I'm replying to this late since I've been avoiding the internet for the past couple days, for mental health reasons. BUT OH MY GOSH.

When I read this, it really brightend my day!! I can't thank you enough for putting your time into this and sharing it with me. My heart feels so full!! 💓💗💕

I'll have to draw this as a comic it's so sweet ❤️

[euesworld]

"I would like to get lost in your biggest hug, somewhere the world would never find me.. right next to your lovely heart listening to it beat. I could get lost there forever. Envelope me until your arms consume me and I am pressed up against your chest, and never let go.."

Hug me tightly, hug me softly, cause in your arms are where I find my home - eUë