Sam Vimes, Lord Vetinari, Joan Watson
• get randomly assigned as your lab partner for a whole semester, • get trapped with on a broken elevator for ten hours • get as my employee trainer for my new job at McDonalds
Oh boy that’s a good good trio
Joan Watson for my lab partner, by process of elimination. Lord Vetinari would almost certainly maneuver me into doing more work, and even if he didn’t, he would be intimidating to share a microscope with. Very intimidating. He definitely knows how to use every chemical in the lab as an untraceable poison. And if I got young eager Chalkboard Monitor Vimes for a lab partner, that could work out, but I just can’t see the Vimes we know being the best student. He’s not wild about paperwork. Lab work is, god, so much paperwork.
But Joan? Great student, valedictorian in medical school, diligent and thoughtful, a quick study and a hard worker? Probably has exquisite handwriting? Definitely has interesting stories to tell while we wait for our stains to set. Would probably give me very good life advice about my career and money and just living my best. She might need to skip the occasional lab because there’s a murderer, but you know she emails you her work anyway, and you don’t mind lending her your notes because god knows you’ve been borrowing hers. She also likely knows how to use every chemical in the room as a poison, but it’s much less concerning.
Trapped in an elevator with Sam. First, he’s good in a crisis. Definitely knows a lot of card games. There’s a good chance I’ll get out of that elevator with a job in the Watch. And, around the time bedtime comes around, the sheer fury of Sam roaring what is and isn’t his cow would be the thing that finally got us free.
And trained at McDonalds by Lord Vetinari. I’ll learn so much. If he likes me, what I learn won’t be through cautionary tales of my own hubris. And most importantly, just imagine someone haughtily demanding to talk to the manager.
