My partner is statistically unlikely
My partner is a rare and magical creature whose mere existence apparently bends statistical probabily to his own detriment.
First, his height makes him an outlier (he’s rarer than the 99th percentile for males in Canada). Most things are engineered to work for a standard human, plus/minus two standard deviations (maaaybe three); and his height puts him out of this range. That means that things like countertops and door frames and safety rails just... aren’t built for him. Countertops are too low, door frames are too short, safety rails don’t come up to a safe height compared to his centre of gravity.
But right now, I want to talk about pant size.
He’s a tall man, but has approximately-average proportions. When he goes to “big and tall” clothing stores, they have “tall and thin” or “tall and wide” clothes, but not, like, “tall and proportionately-wide”.
Anyway, for whatever reason, his pant size is never in stock.
So he started doing online shopping, found some pants in his size, and ordered them.
The store cut off part of the address on the shipping label, and the parcel was returned to sender.
I called customer service to resolve this issue. They offered to refund the order and place a second identical order (same price) with the correct address. .... But, apparently, that was the very last pair in his size. So, they can’t.
So instead, he has to wait for the parcel to be returned to the warehouse, place a new order for those pants, and if the price is higher than the original, call customer service for an adjustment. Like anyone has the time for that.
In summary: he is rare size, but also, weird and improbable things happen to him that seem independent of his rare size. He is a magical, probability-bending creature.
Sadly it’s less “superpower” and more “superdetriment”.
