#stella carloway

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Jake, lips completely silver: I wanted silver M&Ms, but they don’t make those so I spray painted regular ones.

Jonathan: Well you can’t eat them, they’re poison now.

Jake, panicked: … Well yeah, obviously.

Stella: Go throw up.

Jake: but I didn’t ea-

Stella: Go throw up.

Jake: okay…

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Jake: [hits his hand on a table]

Jake: Ow! My armkle!

Diana: Your what?

Stella: His wrist.

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Jake: Stella, I have to ask a favor. It’s about my clothes.

Stella: Burn them. Burn them all.

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Jake: Just tell them we’re the Carloways.

Zoe: Tell them we’re what?

Stella: Out of control siblings with a death wish.

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Stella: I’m looking for my brother, Jake.

Zoe: Jake? Oh yeah, 6'1", earring, cries when you call him bitch-baby?

Stella: That’s him.

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Jake: Do you think ghosts are real?

Napoleon: Well, I buried this memory but when you were a kid, I used to see the ghost of a little girl in a Victorian nightgown who would walk down the hall of your bedroom and then evaporate.

Jake, about to crap himself: …

Stella: LETS CHANGE THE SUBJECT! I MADE A SALAD WITH CRAISINS IN IT!

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Stella: If your hair covers your boobs, you have mermaid hair, and you are a mermaid. I don't make the rules.

Clement: As a man with a hairy chest, I was very, very confused for about ten seconds.

Jake: You are a mermaid, Clement.

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Stella: So, yeah, he broke up with me.

Jake: Why are you looking up?

Stella: I want to cry but my foundation cost $48!