#stem jokes

[hyacinthhiraeth]

Saw this a while ago

[punk-speedchunk]

i've heard the joke that actual rocket scientists must have an ongoing anxiety that they'll fuck something up in a visible way, but i have a counterpoint: any time they accidentally dump coffee grounds into the water receptacle on the coffeemaker or can't figure out how to navigate the new user-hostile smartphone, they can always respond to "it's not rocket science ha ha" with "EXACTLY !!!!"

[onemoreattempt]

Your honor, my client had their calculator in degree mode.

[pyrot3ch-nick]

Cue tens of college student giggles when math prof asks which equation is the top and which is the bottom, and if so which do we take.

(Of a circle or sphere you guys!!!!)

[theysaywhatasadsight]

People who aren't in science, talking about the science 'aesthetic': lab coats, sterile environments, hushed silences. Being super smart and clever. Annoyed at anyone not understanding a simple concept. Misunderstood by everyone. Destroying yoyr teacher in an argument.

What studying science is actually like: your lab coat is dirty and stained with chemicals cuz your never wash it, you haven't seen a person who's soul hasn't been confused by the subjects. Physics feels like an evil dictator. Simultaneously all of your classmates are failing and at the bottom of your rank list. Your grades are lower than the ocean. People around you seem so blessed with knowledge and you constantly go ???? At everything that seems so simole to the others. You don't know why you're doing it but one stupid formula is all that is in your head. You have no concept of time. Your friendships have died decades ago. You adore stupid jokes.

You finally understand why scientists are called mad.

[angela-wang]

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are staying at a hotel. The engineer is awoken by the smell of burning, so he opens the door and finds a small fire in the hallway. He takes the fire extinguisher and puts it out, and then goes back to bed. Next, the physicist is woken up by the same smell. He goes outside and finds that the small fire has now reignited and spread. After calculating air pressure, flame temperature and humidity as well as distance to the fire and projected trajectory, he extinguishes the fire with the least amount of fluid, and then goes to bed. Finally, the mathematician is woken up by the same smell of burning. He goes outside and finds that some of the embers from the previous fire are still glowing and warm. After thinking for a little bit, he relights the rest of the embers until they're once again a sizeable fire. He then goes to bed, satisfied that the problem has been reduced to a previously solved one.