#stephen vs steve

[stark-strange-love2]

Stephen: Pls don’t be offended if I forget your name, my mind simply removed that information for something more important.

Steve: like what?

Stephen: sims cheat codes, obviously Stan

Steve:

Steve: we literally have the same name how did you even forget it?

Stephen: oh I didn’t that time, I just wanted to be petty

Tony: *cackling in the back because he knows stephen has an eidetic memory*

[stuckonylove]

Bucky: We're always gonna be in this together, right?

Steve:

Steve: Normally I'd say yes without any hesitation but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don't like it

Rhodey: *from a distance but getting closer fast* Barnes!!

Portal opens beside them

Stephen: *upper body through the portal, grabs Bucky by the neck* Come with me

Bucky: *screeches* NO! I Don't Want to DIE! I'm Innocent! I Swear It was all STEVE'S Fault. Take Him Instead!

Steve: Don't Throw Me Under the Bus! We Don't Both Have to Die!

Bucky: *as he's dragged through the portal* NOOoooo...!

Rhodey: *finally gets to the room* where?!

Steve: Strange took him

Steve: You guys aren't still mad about the Civil War thing, right? I thought we've moved past that?

Rhodey: We did, but remember how I said that no one will find your body if either of you two hurt him again in any way?

Steve: Yes...? What did Bucky do?

Rhodey: He ate the pizza in the fridge that Tony was saving for himself.

Steve: *goes sweaty and ridged, and slowly tries to back out of the room* Yes, of course he did! So he definitely deserves whatever punishment he's got coming to him

Steve: You better catch up to Strange then. *turns and sprints from the room*

Earlier

Bucky and Steve getting back from their run

Steve: Hey Buck, want some pizza? There's some in the fridge

Bucky: Stevie I think someone was saving that

Steve: *already eating a slice and passes one to Bucky* Well they should label their food better

Bucky: ...I guess *takes a bite*

[alidafirtup]

stephen, back from dimensional hopping: *steps out of a portal at the compound*

stephen: do NOT look at me directly

steve, startled: what- why?! is it going to kill me?

stephen: nah, it's just your face

stephen: it's pissing me off

[stxphxn-strange]

Stephen, unprompted: Steve has so little personality that I don’t even think someone as brilliant as Tony could fix it or even code him a new one.

[unfortunate-chaos]

Stephen: alright so we’re gonna need someone to be bait for this next mission. Steve thank you for volunteering.

Steve: *confused patriotic noises*

[motivation-who]

Stephen, to Steve: i am aware that we didn’t part on the best of terms. certain words were exchanged, as well as certain... bullets. and spells. and a couple of punches. and-

Tony, whispering: babe you’re not helping

[ofstarsandfireflies]

Steve: We’re losing! Quick! Someone hit me-

Stephen: *full on blasts Steve through a a couple of buildings*

Steve: With...ideas...

[marvelsincorrectquotes]

Bruce: So, wait. You mean to tell me this happened because of a game of TWISTER?

Tony: It was MAGIC Twister, but yes.

Stephen, who has accidentally morphed himself and Steve Rogers into the same body: Can we PLEASE focus! The sheer amount of self-righteousness and arrogance is making me sick to my stomach.

Steve: Right; I’m the problem! It has NOTHING to do with that magic you use so carelessly. And you know what? You could at least be a better sport about an issue YOU caused! I mean, you don’t see me complaining about it.

Stephen: You think I won’t sacrifice myself just to kill you? Think again, CAP.

Tony: Bruce, DO S O M E T H I N G!