So here’s the highly requested part two for Still Burning. There will be part three.
summary: dick and you used to date, but there are still feelings for each other
part two
pairing: dick grayson x titan!reader
warnings: angsty, fluffy, swearing
word count: 3k
special thanks to @ymeradonnadx for helping me out with this. love you girl
read part one here
wanna be tagged on my dick grayson fics?
Burnt.
It’s funny how fire works. It spreads. It gives light, but it is never seen as something remotely good. It leaves ashes. And you were walking through them, trying to find the reason as to why someone a) had lit up a fire and b) had it put it out as quick.
There can be lights that can be sparkled, but sometimes we prefer darkness over any kind of burning fire. It makes sense, to avoid it. In a certain way.
Dick liked to avoid you, at least. And he had left just after making you feel everything with that stupid dance. And you felt like you were back at 17, nobody understood what had gotten into you.
A dance.
He blamed alcohol. You blamed him.
But he had left. And this wasn’t the first time he’d left, it seemed to you any time you were getting remotely close to each other he’d turn and back away and leave, like when he had on your 21st birthday.
And it stung like a memory you’d never forget. And it hurt, to think that maybe he felt the same way you did, but he did nothing but push you away.
Every single day he’d keep pushing you, and pushing and pushing you away over and over again. With small things, like in the mornings where you’d try to say hello and he’d turn cold. How he talked to everyone in the room but you and how any time your eyes landed on him he’d turn stiff.
You had talked one time. And you knew he wasn’t feeling well either. He had woken up at 3 am and he’d gone to the roof, but you were there, too. You loved being at the roof, staring at the stars.
“Can’t sleep, huh?” He asked, he had two beers. Maybe he had known you were there, too.
You shrugged as you took a sip of the beer. “Never been good at that.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, I remember,” but he turned stiff. “Light sleepers, both of us.”
“Yeah,” you turned to him. “What about you?”
“A lot on my mind,” he admitted. “It’s just like I’m 22 again.”
You shrugged. “Yet it comes to you again, the choice.”
“Does it?”
“I know my answer,” you shrugged.
He sighed. “It wouldn’t work.”
“What wouldn’t work? Talking about it?” You frowned.
“Well, do you want to?”
“I guess I miss the good things, you know? I miss Donna,” you admitted.
“We were a good team, weren’t we?” He asked.
“Yes, we’re not that good when we’re apart,” you chuckled.
“Donna said she felt out sometimes,” Dick said.
You grinned. “I mean, we were very annoying.”
He chuckled. “We weren’t, we were...adorable,” he grinned.
“From the moment we met, I mean, we were always in a rush and we enjoyed the silence,” you grinned.
“We did, didn’t we? Always sneaking everywhere…”
You smiled. “I’ve kept it a secret, too.”
“You have?”
“Yeah, no one deserves to know we’ve got the world record in loving each other,” you grinned and he blushed.
“I remember everything,” he declared. “Our first kiss.”
You took a sip. “You stole the batmobile that night.”
He laughed. “I can’t believe I asked if I could kiss you, so proper.”
You nudged him. “Those are pretty cheap, you know,” you gushed.
“What? Kisses?”
You winked at him. “Wouldn’t kill you to shut me up with one of those once in a while.”
He smirked as he laughed. “You’d love that, wouldn’t you? I thought you were going to do it while we were dancing.”
“Me? Please, only because you were begging me to do so.”
“Would it be such a sin?” He laughed.
You shrugged. “I mean, I felt young again, happy but I can’t really see the good things because then I remember everything that happened afterwards.”
“Afterwards…?”
You bit your lip. “I can’t let you hurt me again, Dick Grayson, when you broke my heart,” you scoffed. “Boy, you really got me.”
He looked down.
“It was days and days of crying, staring at the ceiling, wanting to find a reason why, I remember just not… Being clear, days were grey, and for me to say that about Gotham,” you chuckled dryly. “I was drowning.”
He gulped.
“No, I’m serious, I was such a mess, days were senseless, nights didn’t come and when they did, I couldn’t even go to sleep. No sun, no… nothing. What had I done wrong?”
Dick bit his lip. “I’m really sorry.”
“I got over you, don’t worry, Donna was there for me, every day,” you chuckled. “I’m at my best right now, ain’t it?”
Dick looked down at his beer. “At least one of us did.”
You coughed, nervously. “Well, why did you break up with me, then?”
“I was protecting you,” he said. “Still am,” he admitted. “Did you listen to what you just told me?”
“But I never said you hurt me before that-”
“I… I realized stuff, alright?”
You scoffed. “Fine you want to be dramatic and edgy and shit? Alright, go on up that bullshit, but you know damn well that we were alright until you decided we weren’t. That whole you deserve better bullshit? C’mon Dick, you broke up with me for a reason and until I figure out what exactly-” You stood up. “We can’t really talk about anything.”
“I had a reason.”
“Really, what was it?”
“Does it matter now?” He sighed. “We moved on.”
“Did we, really?” You questioned him. You sighed. “Look, I can’t… I can’t really have this conversation right now, not when I-”
“When you what?”
“What happened that night?” You pushed. “What happened when we danced?”
Dick gulped. “I… well, I don’t know we were drunk.”
“Keep telling that to yourself, Richard, maybe you’ll end up believing it.”
You hadn’t talked since.
And somehow, it made you want him more, because it seemed challenging but it was tiring knowing that it was one sided. How could you ever still be in love with him when he clearly didn’t want anything to do anymore?
But really, in this situation, Dick couldn’t be avoiding you.
You had been...Patrolling. It calmed you, in a way. It was a thing you’d gotten from Gotham, you guessed, in such a mess there was nothing more but to join it and find calm on it.
You liked watching from the rooftops, now far from Gotham. No city was as chaotic. But it seemed that wherever you and the Titans stepped in, trouble was found.
You had heard it, and you were walking through the remains of a battle that had gone through your eyes. Who would burn a department store?
You walked through the mannequins, as Dick followed behind you. You knew he’d be here too, you both had that annoying habit of listening to the police operation. Both of you could rely on it, detectives.
“There’s no sense in burning the place down,” he commented. “Not the way it was done.”
“Spark a fire and leave? I’d heard that before, I’m not surprised,” you sassed as you stared at the ripped clothes on the floor.
“So you think it’s normal?”
“Probably some stupid teenagers, drunk, and having fun. Look at it, there’s no sense of greed or corruption, no violence, it’s a crime for sure…”
“But not a passionate crime, yes, I…” Dick nodded.
“There are no patterns, nothing, it seemed like some kids were only trying to spark a fire for fun,” you sentenced. “Always a fire.”
Dick nodded. “I’ll get the reports made and then,” he gulped. “We’ll...Yeah.”
He knew you loved speaking in between the lines.
And he was gone again.
And he had been. And it got grudgier, somehow. He’d avoid you more and more, avoid the rooms you were in, pretend to not listen whenever you spoke. Dick was trying too hard to put out the spark he had caused in you.
You’d find yourself trying to not wrap your head around it. Because he was getting colder, how can someone light a fire and be so cold.
And you didn’t want to understand why he was acting that way, you didn’t even try to push it. You just ignored it, because this was him. This was him being the big dick he was, that’s who he is.
But you knew he couldn’t help but be adorable.
The city was in ruins, however, lights were out and you had to use candles, all around your place. But it was fine, you loved the candlelight, and you loved darkness. Maybe you’d learned that from Dick, to love the night.
There were a lot of things you’d got from Dick. You’d be lying if you said he hadn’t marked your life. It showed, from the way you dressed to the way you’d patrol all nights. Dick was a part of you.
Too bad he didn’t want to be part of it anymore. And the Titans had noticed, but they hadn’t really asked about it.
Until Kory did.
“How long will you both keep acting like children?” She asked, joining you in the kitchen, you had some candles lighting up the room, but you remained in your darkness.
“What?” You faked ignorance.
“Look, I am not really aware of your situation with him, but you ain’t fooling nobody, clearly there was something there and if you two were adults you’d talk it out and not do that shit.”
“It’s complicated,” you admitted. “With Richard, honestly, everything is complicated.”
“You think?”
“Dick isn’t someone who stays, you know,” you said. “Dick likes danger, and he likes challenges.”
Kory raised her eyebrow at you. “So what? You guys clearly have the hots for each other, hook up once and that’s it.”
You looked away. “That would make it more difficult.”
“So are there feelings involved?”
You wrinkled your face. “A long time ago, maybe. Maybe there is just a slight spark there still.”
“I’d know that it takes only a spark to cause a fire,” Kory scoffed.
“I— Dick,” you sighed. “It was a mistake. It was one when we were young and it’s a mistake now.”
“You love him, don’t you?”
“Sometimes we fall in love with the wrong people,” you sighed, looking down. “You can think you’re in love and then you realize, you’re only in pain.”
Kory was watching you, analyzing what you were trying to say.
“It sounds stupid, honestly,” you shrugged. “Him and I? He’s… pun intended kind of a dick sometimes, and I’m— I am crazy, ain’t I?”
Kory chuckled dryly. “Aren’t we all?”
“But with us, it was always a problem, either me giving too much or him not giving at all,” you bit your lip. “We were always so immature, and we ran out of excuses, you know?”
“What went wrong?”
“I don’t know,” you conceded. “I’d love to know. It was all so… spontaneous. Dick likes to take control and with us—neither of us could take control.He blamed Gotham, Batman, and he even blamed me, saying it was for the best.”
“He said that?”
“I guess we're both so immature when it comes to each other.”
“Yeah, no shit.”
“I don’t know if we were in love, or something worse,” you sighed. “Whatever it was, we were meant to fall apart.”
“Do you miss him?”
You took a deep breath. “I guess, a bit,” you confessed. “I can only wonder if he ever thinks about me and just like me, can’t get the thought out of his head, that not even a cold shower will soothe him, even if it’s—senseless you know? Even if he claimed our relationship was the biggest mistake, I want to know that it was the one mistake he doesn’t regret.”
Kory stared at you with a side smile, she sighed. “Girl. I truly don’t know what to tell you.”
“Everything’s been said before.”
She shrugged. “I know only that you should cut the bullshit and go for it.”
You scoffed.
“I know something about him, he likes to take care of people,” Kory admitted. “He is always protecting you the most.”
“But that is bullshit, he said he broke up with me because he wanted to protect me,” you explained. “Where did that lead us?”
“Tell him then, to cut the bullshit, he clearly has feelings for you.”
A door was opened and you heard a laugh coming from Rachel, probably. Dick, Gar and Rach had been out. Probably another way of Dick to avoid you. Kory just stared at you as they joined you in the kitchen.
Dick didn’t even give you a glance.
“Did they figure out what happened?” Asked Kory.
“Teenagers were playing,” Dick explained. “Y/N—“he coughed.”she was right.”
You watched him as he had turned around. “What happened, then?”
“They were playing with candles.”
You nodded. “Told you, accident, not a crime.”
Dick didn’t even look at you.
“Yeah, could’ve happened to anybody,” Rachel said, as she opened a bag of chips, Gar ran over to pop some into his mouth. “Even to us, like right now that we don’t have any lights, or that day you both were messing around with the candle and dancing.”
You and Dick gave each other a glance.
“What was that about huh?” Gar questioned. “I’ve never seen you that close, you guys even seemed like friends.”
“Dick is friends with nobody,” you chuckled, playing it as cool as possible, but you felt like your stomach was burning up. “But—We used to be some sort of friends, weren’t we, Dickie?”
He gulped. “Yeah.”
“What happened? You barely talk now….” Rach pointed out.
“And that’s a great way to put them on the spot, Rach, Gar, come on, let’s leave so they can talk it out, figure it out and then when they’re done I’m sure y/n will pay us the favor by telling us everything,” Kory said as she stood up, ushering Gar and Rachel to leave with her. Dick closed his eyes. “We’re leaving,” Kory announced. “You have the whole house to yourselves!”
You chuckled, sightly. Just as he was about to leave the room as well, you called him out. “You can’t keep running from it, you know, Grayson, I’m not like all the other parts of your past.”
He stopped by the doorframe. “I know that.”
“Are we supposed to talk about it, though?” You asked as he turned around, finally seeing you.
“About what? Explaining it to them? I truly don’t want to change the dynamic here, it’s better if they don’t know,” Dick said. “For the sake of the group.”
“They don’t have to know, you’re right. But don’t I deserve to know?” You asked, you blew a candle off and picked up the other one, standing up walking over to him. “Do you expect me to act normal when we clearly—still… have unresolved business here?”
He took a deep breath, walking away. “It’s in the past.”
“Maybe, Grayson, maybe,” you crossed your arms. “But I… You can’t...You can’t keep hiding because you feel like you’re going to hurt others.”
“Look what happened just as we… As the dance thing happened, you haven’t slept, I haven’t slept, it’s for our own sake.” Dick explained, heading to his room.
“Oh my god, Dick, no, no, you can’t, I feel like I’m 21 again,” you finally raised your voice, stressed. “Do you see it? Don’t you see it?”
“I…”
“Get yourself on my shoes, you walk into my house give me a dozen roses, and then you left! You broke up with me! And… You had me wondering, what did I do wrong? I stayed up days, nights, gosh, Grayson, I couldn’t…And I was such a fool! Waiting for you to come back with another dozen roses to take me back. I didn’t understand it, but you know what I do, now! It’s you! You are the problem!”
Dick just watched you. “I was too dangerous-”
“And so am I, we’re both… I’m not proud of things I’ve done, but that’s why we worked, and then you turned into this, whoever you are now!”
Dick frowned. “And why are you still here?”
“Because you brought me back to you, Dick, don’t you see it?” You sighed. “You asked me to come with you for a reason, and I came back to you for that same reason.”
“Y/N.”
“Dick, you left me there with a broken heart and excuses that you didn’t even understand!” You pushed. “And now you keep ignoring me-”
And he did what you’d ask him before, he shut you up with a kiss. And it felt like the old times, and suddenly you forgot that you’d stay up each night wondering if he’d come back, you forgot how you’d stay still until the night would fall down on you. And all those lonely days had been erased.
Because god, how long had you wanted this. And as he pushed you against the wall, and as he ran his hand through your hair, you almost let the candle fall down, but you pulled away. You saw his eyes eating you with lust as he was catching his breath. You blew the candle off as he kissed your neck, peppering you with kisses to your sweet spot on your collarbone. His fingers were tangling with your hair.
And he was coming closer, and closer. And everything was dark, but Dick and you know how to move in the darkness. And even if the candle wasn’t burning, you knew you both were. But, somehow, even if it felt right, burning down the ashes seems wrong.
But you didn’t care, you needed to feel the sweat running down your body and you needed his lips covering you with tattoos. But there’s a part of you that wanted Dick to feel the way you’ve felt before.
“Meet me in the bedroom, I’ll be there in five,” you whispered in his ear, and he leaves, eagerly. But you didn’t join him in the bedroom, you left the house, knowing damn well you’d get burnt if you play with fire.
I read in the news this AM that the fires in Australia are out. Horseshit. According to the site, there is still a lot of fire in my allegedly fair nation. So. Anywhere that’s still on fire, please get up whichever news service claims you’re not and tell them how tall the flames are and how much property is at risk or lost.
Fuck these arseholes claiming victory in advance.
The good news is that there’s been a concert benefit to help a lot of people feel better about these shenanigans. A good time was reportedly had by all.
...also, I am very sorry I forgot about doing this for a patch.
