a masterlist of this year's kinktober event. twenty days of kink all told through 'x-reader' fics. all stories are, of course, over 18 only, so please, mdni. hope y'all enjoy, and please remember to like and reblog all your favourites. feedback fuels me and makes my heart all floaty, so please let me know what you think :)
this series also features my first attempts at writing lucifer, so I would love some feedback on his fics :)
Note: almost all the reader characters are afab. their relationships with stolas and angel are qpr within the larger poly!dynamic. husk and blitz serve as the hinge in these dynamics.
Warnings ⚠️: it's hell ? ... so hellish stuff lecherous dudes, Canon typical violence, swearing, smut, P in V, Oral Female recieving, tail hijinks, top blitz, slight d/s dynamics if you squint, suggestive content, some canon typical religious overtones, alcohol consumption, self-deprecation, angst, blood, horror elements, body horror, x reader.
"Hold still, darling," Stolas murmured, his fingers working at the tiny buttons running down your spine. "These ridiculous little things... whoever designed this dress clearly hated the person who'd have to remove it."
You stood in the middle of Stolas's bedroom, exhausted down to your bones. The party had been... overwhelming was putting it mildly. Crowds of demons, all staring, all judging, all wanting to meet the "new Goetia" Your face hurt from forcing smiles, your feet hurt from the heels and your evening had be curtailed by tiny tortuous buttons.
"Almost there," Stolas said softly, and you felt another button give way. His breath was warm against the back of your neck, and he was close—closer than strictly necessary for the task at hand. "You did wonderfully tonight, you know. Absolutely wonderfully."
He nuzzled against your hair, a soft hooting sound escaping him, and you felt some of the tension leave your shoulders.
"I felt like an idiot," you admitted quietly.
"You were magnificent," he corrected, another button coming undone. "Poised, graceful, charming. Everyone was completely taken with you."
From across the room, near the balcony, came a snort.
"Yeah, 'taken with her,'" Blitz said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He was sitting in the corner, methodically taking apart his rifle "Especially that one guy who kept trying to smell her. That was REAL charming."
"That particular Lord has always been... peculiar," Stolas said diplomatically, working on another button. "But he meant no harm."
"He was SNIFFING her! Like a fucking PERVERT!" Blitz had gotten one of the rifle's components apart and was now aggressively cleaning it. "If you hadn't stepped in, I was gonna shoot him!"
"Which is precisely why I didn't allow you to bring ammunition," Stolas said mildly.
"You WHAT?!" Blitz's head snapped up.
"Did you truly think I'd let you bring a loaded weapon to my father's party? Darling, I know you. I'm not an idiot." Stolas sounded far too pleased with himself. "I had a servant switch out your bullets for blanks before we left."
"You sneaky feathered FUCK—"
"Language, Blitzy. We have delicate company."
"She's heard worse! She LIVES with me!"
You couldn't help but smile as another button gave way. The dress was elaborate—deep blue silk that caught the light like water, with intricate silver embroidery, wearing it had felt like being wrapped in liquid starlight.
It had also been tight, restrictive, and you'd been desperate to get out of it for the last hour.
"There," Stolas said softly as the last button came free. "All done."
His hands lingered on your shoulders, thumbs rubbing gentle circles. You felt him lean in, his beak brushing against the junction of your neck and shoulder, another soft hoot escaping him.
"So beautiful," he murmured. "You were the most stunning creature there tonight."
"Okay, that's enough of the lovey-dovey shit!" Blitz announced loudly. "Some of us are trying to get to the FUN PARTS."
"You're cleaning a rifle that you already cleaned three times," Stolas pointed out, still nuzzling your shoulder. "I think you're doing it for the aesthetic at this point, darling."
"I'm doing it because my TRIGGER FINGER is itchy and I can't actually SHOOT anyone because SOMEONE stole my bullets!"
You stepped away from Stolas carefully, holding the front of the dress up. Underneath, you wore a simple silk slip that Stolas had also provided—apparently, Goetia formal wear required very specific undergarments.
The dress pooled around your feet as you stepped out of it, the heavy silk whispering against the floor. You bent to pick it up, and Stolas immediately took it from you.
"I'll have it cleaned and returned to the proper storage," he said, draping it carefully over a chair. "It's a family heirloom—belonged to my great-grandmother, actually. I thought the color would suit you."
"It was beautiful," you said honestly. "I just... I'm not used to fancy dresses."
"You wore it perfectly." Stolas moved closer again, his hands finding your waist over the thin silk of the slip. "Like you were born to it."
"Yeah, well, she WASN'T born to it," Blitz said, loudly clicking another rifle component into place. "She was born to like, normal human shit. Not fancy demon parties where everyone's trying to figure out who she's related to!"
"They were simply curious—"
"They were being NOSY! There's a difference!" Blitz glared at Stolas over the rifle. "And you! Getting all handsy the second the dress comes off! Have some DECORUM!" Blitz's tone had switched to a imitation of Stolas.
"I have plenty of decorum, darling. I simply choose when to employ it." Stolas's hands slid up your sides, thumbs brushing just below your ribs. "And right now, after such a long evening, I think we have requests to fulfill don't we darling."
You stuck your tongue out at Blitz, which made him drop a rifle piece as he scrambled to jam them into the rifle case.
"Did you just—you just stuck your TONGUE out at me!"
"You deserved it," you said, grinning.
"RUDE! After I spent all night protecting you from creepy BLUE bloods!"
"You spent all night glaring at people and making threats under your breath!"
"Yeah! PROTECTING you! With INTIMIDATION!" He'd abandoned the rifle now, pointing at you accusingly. "And this is the thanks I get?!"
"Oh, Blitzy, don't be such a child," Stolas said, still holding you close. "She's simply teasing you. It's quite adorable, actually."
"It's DISRESPECTFUL is what it is!"
"You're just upset because you can't shoot anyone," Stolas said, his beak nuzzling against your temple now. "You get so grumpy when you're not allowed to commit violence."
"I DO NOT—okay, yes, I do, but that's not the POINT—"
As they bickered, you shifted your weight, feeling an odd prickling sensation on your left leg. You glanced down, adjusting the slip slightly, and your heart stopped.
There were feathers.
Small, downy, white feathers. Protruding from the skin at your ankle.
Three of them. No—you looked closer—five. Five small feathers growing out of your leg like that was a perfectly normal thing for legs to do.
Panic shot through you like ice water. Not more changes. Not now. Not when you'd just gotten used to the fangs.
Moving as casually as you could manage, you bent down like you were adjusting the slip's hem.
"You alright, little star?" Stolas asked.
"Fine! Just—the slip is twisted," you said, your voice thankfully steady.
Your fingers found the feathers. They were soft, delicate, and definitely attached to your skin. You gripped the base of one and pulled.
Sharp pain, but the feather came free.
You did the same with the others, quick and efficient, even as your eyes watered from the sting. All five feathers came out, small dots of blood marking where they'd been.
"Yes! Just fixing the dress—I mean the slip!" You straightened up quickly, the feathers clutched in your fist. "All good!"
You turned, pretending to adjust the slip in the back, and dropped the feathers on the floor. With your foot, you quickly kicked them under the bed.
Crisis temporarily averted.
"Well, now that everyone's indecent," Blitz said, standing up from his rifle, "can we PLEASE get to the ACTUAL FUN PARTS? It's been a long fucking night and I'm FUCKED OFF from not being allowed to murder anyone!"
Stolas smiled, one of his hands coming up to cup your face. "Let's get you comfortable, darling."
Stolas's bed was, as always, enormous. The sheets were fresh—he'd had them changed while you were at the party—and the pillows were numerous enough to build a fort.
You climbed in first, settling in the middle, and immediately felt your body relax into the impossibly soft mattress. Your ankle stung where you'd ripped the feathers out, but you ignored it, pulling the blankets up instinctively.
Blitz approached from one side, having stripped down to his boxers and tank top. "I'm taking this side. Bird brain can have the other one."
"How generous of you," Stolas said dryly, moving to the opposite side. He'd changed into a elaborate robe that was probably silk and definitely cost more than a car.
They both climbed in, and suddenly you were sandwiched between them again. Blitz on your left, Stolas on your right, both warm and solid and somehow making the enormous bed feel cozy.
"Ugh, what's with all this soft FUCKING BULLSHIT" Blitz groaned throwing several pillows off the bed.
"You didn't have to stay," Stolas pointed out, though he was already shifting closer to you.
"Like I'm gonna leave her alone with you! You'd probably try some freaky bird sex magic or something!"
"Blitzy, don't be ridiculous..." Stolas's arm draped over your waist, pulling you back against him. His chest was warm against your back, soft feathers tickling your neck. "Perhaps, some cuddling to start."
"Of course you would want that wouldn't you," Blitz muttered, but he was shifting closer too, his hand finding yours under the blankets.
You laced your fingers with his, and he squeezed gently.
For a moment, there was just quiet. The sound of breathing, the distant noise of Hell outside, the warmth of both of them surrounding you.
Then Stolas nuzzled against your hair, hooting softly. "You really were magnificent tonight."
"You already said that," you murmured, but you were smiling.
"It bears repeating." His hand on your waist slid up slightly, thumb brushing your ribs through the thin silk. "Seeing you in that dress, holding yourself with such grace... I was very proud."
"You looked hot," Blitz said bluntly from your other side. "Like, really hot. That dress was doing THINGS for you."
"Blitzy, that's crude—"
"It's HONEST! She looked hot! Everyone thought so! Why do you think half those FUCKHEADS were sniffing around her?!"
"I believe the phrase is 'interested in her heritage,'" Stolas corrected.
"I believe the phrase is 'wanted to get in her pants,' but sure, let's go with yours."
You laughed, the sound muffled against the pillow. "Can we not talk about other demons wanting to... do things with me?"
"Agreed," Stolas said, his arm tightening possessively around your waist. "I'd rather not think about that either."
"See? Bird brain and I agree on something! That's how you know it's important!" Blitz shifted closer, and now you could feel the warmth of him along your side. "Nobody gets to sniff you except us."
"Nobody is sniffing me!" you protested.
"Stolas literally just nuzzled your hair!"
"That's different! That's affectionate!"
"It's SNIFFING!"
"It's absolutely not—"
"Okay, enough," you interrupted, squeezing Blitz's hand. "Can we just... not argue about sniffing?"
"Fine," Blitz grumbled. "But for the record, I'm right."
"You're always right in your own mind, darling," Stolas said, his voice amused.
"Damn straight!"
Stolas's hand on your waist started moving in slow, gentle circles. His beak nuzzled against your shoulder, and you heard him hoot softly—that unconscious bird sound he made when he was content.
"You really were stunning tonight," he murmured, his voice dropping lower. "Every time I looked at you, I found myself... distracted."
"Distracted how?" you asked, turning your head slightly to see him.
"Distracted by how much I wanted to do this..." His hand slid up from your waist, fingers tracing along your ribs through the thin silk. "And this..." His beak brushed against your neck, finding that sensitive spot just below your ear.
You shivered, and he hooted again, pleased.
"Oh, now we're getting THERE." Blitz said from your other side, his voice taking on that rough edge you'd started to recognize. "Alright. I can work with this."
His hand on your hip tightened, pulling you firmly toward him. "You know what was hot? Watching every single demon in that room want you"
"Blitz—"
"Nah, I'm not done." He propped himself up on one elbow, looking down at you with those glowing eyes. "Watching them circle around you like sharks, trying to figure out your bloodline, your status, your availability—" His hand slid possessively over your stomach. "And knowing that at the end of the night, they wouldn’t FUCKING have you."
Stolas made an approving sound, his hand sliding higher on your ribs. "I must admit, I quite enjoyed that aspect as well."
You scoffed, and even you could hear how breathless your voice had already gotten.
Stolas captured your mouth in another kiss. It was deeper than before, more heated. His tongue brushed against your lips and you opened for him, feeling the warmth of him, tasting something floral and exotic.
"Fuck, that's hot," Blitz muttered, his hand sliding from your stomach to your thigh. "Watching him kiss you like that."
He waited until Stolas pulled back, then immediately claimed your mouth for himself. Where Stolas was elegant and deliberate, Blitz was fierce and demanding. His hand fisted in your hair, holding you exactly where he wanted you as he kissed you like he was trying to prove a point.
When he finally let you breathe, you were gasping.
"See?" he said with a wicked grin. "That's how you kiss someone Birdie."
"She likes aggressive," Blitz said confidently. "Don't you?"
Before you could answer, his hand slid further up your thigh, fingers teasing along the edge of your slip. "See? She's not exactly pushing me away."
"I didn't say stop," you managed.
"That's what I thought." Blitz's grin turned absolutely feral. "Now, here's what's gonna happen. You're gonna lie there and let us make you forget every single boring conversation you had to sit through tonight. Sound good?"
"I—yes—"
"Yes what?" His hand stilled, waiting.
"Yes, Sounds good." you breathed.
"Much betterrrr" he said, and the praise made heat pool low in your belly. "See, this is what you should've been doing all night instead of making small talk with pretentious assholes."
"I kinda had to—it was expected—"
"I know, I know. Politics and bloodlines and all that boring shit." His hand resumed its movement, sliding higher. "But you hated it. I could tell. Every time someone asked about your heritage, you got this little line right here—" He tapped between your eyebrows. "All tense and stressed."
"I was nervous," you admitted.
"You were fucking perfect," Blitz corrected. "Even when you were nervous. Especially when you were nervous." His fingers found the edge of your underwear beneath the slip. "This okay?"
"Yes."
"Say it properly."
"Yes, please."
"Fuck, you're polite about getting railed." He slid his hand properly between your thighs now, and you gasped at the contact. "There we go. See? Much better than talking about lineage."
Stolas had been watching, all four eyes dark with interest, and now his hand joined the exploration. He slid it down from your ribs to your hip, then lower, fingers dancing along your inner thigh.
"May I?" he asked, ever polite even in this.
"Yes," you said quickly.
"So eager," he purred. "And after such a long evening too. One might think you'd been waiting for this."
"I—maybe—"
"Don't 'maybe' me, little star. Were you thinking about this during the party?" His fingers traced patterns on your inner thigh, maddeningly close but not quite touching. "When Lord Andrealphus wouldn't stop asking about your family tree?"
"Yes," you admitted, face burning.
"What exactly were you thinking about?" Stolas asked, and there was a wicked edge to his voice now.
"I—I can't—"
"Sure you can!" Blitz encouraged, his own hand still working you through the fabric. "Tell bird brain what you were thinking about. Don't be shy now."
"I was thinking about... this," you managed. "Both of you. Touching me. Making me forget everything else."
"Good," Blitz said approvingly. "That's real good. See? You CAN talk dirty when you want to."
"That wasn't—"
"That was absolutely talking dirty. And you're gonna do more of it." His fingers pressed more firmly, making you arch. "Gonna tell us exactly what you want."
"I want—" You gasped as Stolas's hand finally moved higher, joining Blitz's. "I want you to touch me. Both of you. Please."
"Since you asked so nicely, tits" Blitz said, and his hand slipped properly beneath the fabric.
The feeling of his skin against yours, direct contact without barriers, made you moan.
"Oh, you like that ?" he observed, grinning. "Yeah, you really fucking like that."
Stolas's hand had found its way beneath the fabric too, and now both of them were touching you, fingers exploring, learning what made you gasp and arch and beg.
"So responsive," Stolas murmured, his beak against your throat. "Every touch makes you tremble."
"Every sound you make goes straight to my dick," Blitz added bluntly. "Just so you know. You're driving me fucking insane right now."
"Good," you managed to say, and his eyes flashed.
"Oh, getting brave now?" He increased the pressure of his touch. "Think you can handle both of us working together?"
Stolas's mouth found yours again, swallowing your moans as they worked you expertly.
"You're so close already," Blitz observed, his voice rough with desire.
"Let go, darling," Stolas murmured against your lips. "You're perfectly safe little star. Let go."
Pleasure crashed over you in waves, and you cried out, your hands clutching at both of them as they worked you through it.
"Beautiful," Stolas breathed, watching you come undone.
"Fucking gorgeous," Blitz agreed, his hand slowing. "Still good?"
"Uh-huh" you managed.
"Good. Because like I said—" His grin was absolutely wicked. "—we're making up for that entire BORING-ASS party. And I've got a LOT of ideas about how to do that."
Stolas hooted softly, his hand still caressing your thigh. "As do I. And we have all night."
"All night ?" you asked breathlessly.
"Uh-huh," Blitz said, pulling you into another searing kiss.
"Now, where were we?"
Stolas didn’t let you answer. His long fingers gently caught your wrist, lifting your hand to press a slow, reverent kiss to the center of your palm. His four red eyes locked onto yours—glowing softly in that steady, hypnotic way that made everything else feel distant and safe. Not taking anything away from you, just… quieting the noise.
"Come here, little star," he murmured, voice like velvet wrapped around starlight. With effortless strength he pulled you back against him, shifting until your back rested fully against his warm, feathered chest.
Your head tucked just beneath his beak. One of his arms wrapped around your waist, holding you close, while the hand that had kissed your palm stayed there—pressed gently to his cheek as he nuzzled into it.
Blitz watched the whole thing with dark, hungry eyes, but he didn’t interrupt. Instead he shifted closer on your left, his clawed hand sliding possessively over your hip again, thumb stroking the skin just under the hem of your slip.
"Show-off," he muttered, though there was no real bite in it. "Always gotta be all fancy."
Stolas only smiled against your palm, then turned his gaze on Blitz. "Jealous, my little imp?"
"Fuck no." Blitz’s grin was sharp. "Just impatient."
Stolas’s free hand slid up your side, fingers deftly tugging the thin ties of your slip open and down your shoulders, baring your breasts to the warm air of the bedroom. He let out a low, appreciative trill, his beak brushing the shell of your ear.
"Exquisite," he whispered against your skin, nuzzling your palm again. "My brave, beautiful little star… falling into our world and still shining so brightly, thank the stars that you’re here with us."
His thumb traced slow circles just beneath your breast, teasing but not quite touching where you suddenly ached for him.
Blitz’s gaze dropped to your now-exposed chest, a sharp grin spreading across his face. "Fuck, look at you. All laid out like that… shit’s unfair." He leaned in, nipping lightly at the side of your neck before pulling back just enough to meet your eyes. His voice dropped, still smug but softer around the edges.
"Hey… you gonna be okay if I use my tail?"
You blinked, a little dazed from Stolas’s eyes and the warmth of his body behind you. "Your… tail?"
Blitz’s tail flicked behind him, the spade-shaped tip curling lazily. "Yeah. I can wrap it around your wrists—keep your hands right where I want ‘em. Or just trail it over you… tease you slow. Drag it along your thighs, your tits, wherever." He paused, watching your face carefully, that cocky smirk softening for a moment. "After what happened… I don’t wanna be the reason you freak out."
You nodded, because it was Blitz asking. "I trust you. Yes… you can use it."
His grin came back, smug and bright. "Atta girl. Knew you were tough." The teasing crept back into his voice as his tail slithered forward, the warm, smooth length curling once around your wrist in a loose but secure hold—testing. "There we go… nice and easy. Look at that."
Stolas hooted softly in approval, still nuzzling your palm against his cheek. "She looks divine like this, Blitzy. So trusting… so open for us." His beak brushed your temple. "Such a sweet darling little creature, letting us worship you. You have no idea how long I’ve dreamed of spending nights like this."
Blitz’s tail gave a gentle tug, guiding your wrist up toward the pillow before letting the spade tip trailed slowly back down your sternum, teasing between your breasts before circling one nipple in lazy spirals. The sensation made you shiver. Behind you, Stolas’s hand finally cupped your breast fully, squeezing with open hunger, rolling your nipple between his fingers as he pressed open-mouthed kisses along your shoulder.
Blitz shifted lower on the bed, settling between your spread thighs. His tail continued its journey—trailing down your stomach, teasing along your hip, then curling loosely around your other thigh to hold you open for him. "You still good, tits? Breathin’ okay?"
"Yes," you managed, voice already breathy. "I’m good."
"Perf," His grin turned feral. "Now shut up and let me eat."
He didn’t wait for more permission. Blitz leaned in and dragged his tongue up your center in one long, filthy stripe, groaning loudly at the taste of you. "Shit… you taste even better than you look."
You gasped, hips twitching, but his tail and Stolas’s arm kept you pinned. Stolas’s hand kneaded your breast possessively while he whispered against your hair, voice thick with want.
"So responsive… our little star. Every sound you make is music. Let Blitzy devour you, darling."
Blitz worked you with shameless enthusiasm—tongue flicking fast over your clit, then slowing to broad, lazy licks, occasionally dipping lower to push inside you. His tail tightened just enough around your thigh to keep you spread, the spade tip occasionally flicking teasingly against your inner thigh.
Every new touch from the tail made you jolt in the best way, and each time you did, Blitz's eyes would drift up, just long enough to check.
Stolas kept you grounded the whole time—your hand pressed to his cheek, his beak nuzzling and kissing your palm between soft, romantic murmurs. "You’re safe here… cherished… wanted beyond measure. Wonderous little human who stole both our hearts without even trying."
The dual sensation was overwhelming Blitz’s hot mouth devouring you with greedy, wet sounds, his tail restraining and teasing in equal measure, and Stolas’s warm body behind you, hands and voice worshipping every inch he could reach. Pleasure coiled tighter and tighter in your belly.
When you finally tipped over the edge, crying out sharply, Blitz groaned against you, licking you through every shuddering wave while Stolas held you close, cooing softly.
"Fuck yes… that’s the sound I wanted." Blitz muttered, voice rough and pleased as he finally pulled back, lips shiny. His tail loosened but stayed draped possessively over your thigh.
Stolas’s four eyes were dark with hunger, his cloaca already slick and flushed where it pressed against your lower back. He nuzzled your palm one more time.
Blitz crawled back up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, that wicked grin firmly in place. "You wanna pick what’s next, or you want us to keep running the show?"
The question made heat rush to your face. You flustered, mouth opening and closing for a second without any sound coming out, suddenly shy under the weight of both their attention.
Blitz scoffed, the sound low and amused. “Cute. Real cute when you get all tongue-tied like that.”
Before you could recover, he leaned across you and caught Stolas’s beak in a rough kiss. With you pressed firmly between them—your back still against Stolas’s warm feathered chest, Blitz’s body leaning in close—the motion sandwiched you tighter.
You felt the shift of muscle and feathers, the heat of both of them surrounding you completely as their mouths moved together. It was messy, hungry, and impossibly hot to be caught right in the middle of it.
You watched, mesmerized by the way Blitz’s hand fisted in Stolas’s feathers, the way Stolas’s eyes fluttered closed in clear enjoyment. The words slipped out before you could stop them.
“You’re so fucking pretty…”
Only when Blitz pulled back from Stolas did he register what you’d said. He blinked, looking hurt for a beat, then smirked. “Yeah? Bird brain’s got that fancy prince thing going for him, huh? Figures.”
You shook your head quickly, heart. “No—I meant you.”
Blitz’s eyebrow twitched, the smug expression faltering into something startled. You didn’t give him time to overthink it. Reaching up with your free hand, you dragged him down into a kiss, pouring every bit of want and affection into it.
Blitz made a surprised noise against your mouth before melting into it, kissing you back fierce and deep, like he was trying to hide how much your correction had affected him.
When you finally pulled apart, both of you breathing harder, you could feel him—hot and hard—pressing against your thigh. The realization sent a fresh wave of nerves and shyness bubbling up. You swallowed thickly, suddenly aware of how exposed you were, how much you wanted this.
Blitz noticed. He brushed his thumb along your jaw, voice dropping lower, almost gentle for a moment. “Hey. You look like you’re thinkin’ real loud over there.”
You nodded, managing a small smile despite the flush on your cheeks. “Yeah… I’m good. Just… a lot.”
Stolas hooted softly behind you, still holding your hand gently against his cheek and nuzzling into your palm with slow, affectionate presses of his beak.
“Little star,” he murmured, voice warm and romantic, laced with that familiar dramatic tenderness. “You honor us both with your words… and your touch. There is nowhere else in all the rings I would rather be than right here, with you between us like this darling, ypur so full of light even in Hell’s shadows.”
His free hand continued its slow exploration, cupping and kneading your breast with open hunger, thumb circling your nipple until you shivered. The contrast between his soft, poetic whispers and the blatant need in his touch made your head spin.
Blitz’s tail gave a playful flick against your thigh, the spade tip trailing lightly up toward your hip again in a teasing stroke.
“Don’t go gettin’ all shy on us now,” he said, that smug, tease creeping back into his tone. “Not when you just called me pretty and dragged me in like that. Fuckin’ bold move, tits. I like it.” He rocked his hips once, letting you feel him more deliberately against your thigh, hot and insistent.
“Keep talkin’ shit and I might start thinkin’ you actually like my ugly mug.”
You laughed softly, the sound breathless, nerves easing a little under their combined warmth and attention.
Stolas’s four eyes gleamed with interest as he pressed another kiss to your palm. “She does more than like it, Blitzy. She sees you… truly sees you. As do I.” His voice dropped into something huskier. “And I, for one, am very much enjoying the view of both of you like this.”
Blitz snorted “Fuckin' Saps. Both of you.” He leaned in again, nipping at your lower lip before glancing between you and Stolas, tail still lazily teasing along your skin.
He lined himself up, the blunt head of him pressing hot and insistent against your entrance. “Alright, Stols. You’re gonna hold her nice and steady for me. Keep those pretty hands on her, I want her feelin’ both of us.”
Stolas hooted softly in agreement, his arm tightening around your waist as he pulled you more firmly against his chest.
“As you wish, Blitzy,” he purred, voice thick with arousal. His free hand returned to your breast, kneading with open hunger while his beak trailed slow, open-mouthed kisses along the side of your neck, feathers brushing your skin with every movement.
Blitz pushed in slowly, inch by careful inch, stretching you open with a low, satisfied groan. The drag was hot, thick, and steady—until he bottomed out with a sharp exhale. “Fuuuck… You feel that, tits?"
You couldn’t help it. The overwhelming fullness hit you instantly, and your hand flew up to press over your mouth, muffling the moan that tried to escape.
Blitz’s eyes narrowed, a low grumble vibrating in his chest. “Nuh-uh. None of that shit.” His tail flicked up fast, the warm length wrapping firmly around your wrist and tugging your hand away from your mouth, pinning it gently but insistently against the pillow beside your head.
“You do that again and I’m gettin’ Stolas to pin you down properly. No hidin’ got it? I wanna hear every fuckin’ noise you make while I’m buried in you.”
Stolas chuckled against your neck, the sound turning soft as he pressed another line of kisses along your throat, beak grazing that sensitive spot just below your ear.
“He’s quite serious, darling,” he murmured, voice warm and teasing, though his hips gave a tiny, involuntary rock against your back, his slick cloaca pressing hot and wet against your skin. “Though I would be more than happy to assist… holding our little star exactly where Blitzy wants you.”
You nodded quickly, breath coming in short gasps as Blitz started to move—slow, deliberate thrusts that dragged against every sensitive spot inside you. He kept the pace torturously steady, like he was savoring every second.
While he fucked you, his tail uncoiled from your wrist slithering back and find Stolas. The spade tip trailed teasingly along his side, then lower, brushing over the flushed, slick folds of Stolas’s cloaca. Stolas gasped sharply, hips twitching forward against you as Blitz’s tail pressed more firmly, the tip circling and teasing the sensitive entrance without quite pushing inside.
“Fuck, listen to him,” Blitz said, voice smug and as he kept thrusting into you at that same slow rhythm. “Bird brain’s already leakin’ all over my tail. You like that, Stolas? Me fuckin’ her while I play with your Birdpuss ?”
Stolas moaned against your neck, the sound muffled by another kiss, his hand squeezing your breast harder.
“Y-yes— Blitzy— ah, your tail feels… divine…”
Blitz’s grin widened, tail working Stolas with lazy, teasing strokes—sometimes pressing just inside the slick heat, sometimes pulling back to trail slickly over the outer folds. All while he continued rocking into you, slow and deep, making sure you felt every inch.
“See? Teamwork,” Blitz said, leaning down to nip at your collarbone, eyes flicking between your face and Stolas behind you. “Now keep those pretty sounds comin’, tits. No hidin’. Or next time I really will bring the ropes and we’ll see how loud we can make you scream.”
Stolas’s beak found that spot on your neck again, sucking gently as his hand continued to explore your chest, rolling your nipple between talented fingers with open hunger.
You nodded softly, eyes closing involuntarily for a moment as another thrust from Blitz sent sparks through you. Your free hand reached up, looping around the back of Blitz’s neck, pulling him a little closer. He stilled inside you for a second, buried deep, and you managed a breathless but awkward little
“Hi…”
Blitz rolled his eyes, though the corner of his mouth twitched like he was fighting a grin. “Hi? Really? I’m balls-deep and your go to is ‘hi’?” He scoffed, but his voice had that soft edge he got when you caught him off guard.
“Fuckin’ dork.”
Behind you, Stolas let out a quiet, amused huff. His hands shifted, sliding down to grip your thighs carefully, holding them open wider for Blitz with gentle but firm pressure. The new angle made everything feel deeper, more exposed, and you couldn’t stop the small whimper that escaped.
Blitz’s tail, still slick from teasing Stolas, moved with purpose again. The spade tip pressed more firmly against his cloaca, sliding inside in one smooth motion at the exact same, deep pace he was using on you. Stolas gasped sharply, hips jerking forward against your back as the tail fucked into him in perfect sync with Blitz’s thrusts into you.
“Fuuuck, yeah,” Blitz groaned, voice rough with satisfaction. “That’s it. Both of you takin’ me. Look at that—my tail’s buried in bird brain’s pretty puss while I’m stretchin’ you open. Perfect fuckin’ perfect.”
You were trembling between them, overwhelmed by the dual sensation and the way they moved together. A needy sound slipped out before you could catch it.
Blitz smirked down at you, still rocking steadily. “Shit, listen to you. Eyes all glassy, breathin’ like you ran a FUCKING marathon.”
Stolas nuzzled into your neck, voice low and teasing between kisses. “Indeed, little star. You’re trembling so deliciously...”
You tried to quip back, voice shaky. “I’m not—ah—that worked up—”
Blitz barked a laugh, thrusting a little deeper on the next stroke. “Oh yeah? That’s FUCKING cute. Denyin’ it while you’re squeezin’ me like a vice. Real convincing, tits.”
Stolas hummed in agreement, his hold on your thighs tightening just enough to keep you perfectly spread. “My darling is quite the liar tonight. All flushed and breathless… making the sweetest little sounds every time Blitzy moves.”
Before you could protest again, Blitz’s eyes flashed with wicked amusement. “Keep her mouth busy, will ya? She’s gettin’ mouthy and I wanna hear moans, not SHIT TALKING.”
Stolas didn’t hesitate. He tilted your head back gently against his shoulder, beak capturing your lips in a deep, hungry kiss. His tongue slid against yours, elegant and insistent, swallowing every gasp and whimper as Blitz continued those slow, punishing thrusts. At the same time, his tail kept fucking Stolas in the same unhurried rhythm, drawing muffled, needy hoots that vibrated into your mouth.
Blitz watched the two of you kissing with dark, satisfied eyes, his free hand coming down to rub circles over your clit while he kept moving inside you. “There we go… much better. No more talkin’ back when you’ve got birdies tongue down your throat and my little red cock buried in you.”
The kiss broke only when you needed air, but Stolas immediately moved back to your neck, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses along your throat while his hands kept your thighs held open. Blitz leaned in closer, voice dropping lower.
“Fuck, you’re squeezin’ me so tight every time he kisses you. You like bein’ stuck between us like this?”
You could only moan in response, caught completely in their rhythm, their teasing words, and the overwhelming pleasure of both of them.
Blitz kept that same slow, deep rhythm, hips rolling steadily as his tail fucked into Stolas in perfect sync. The pleasure was overwhelming in the best way—every thrust pushing you higher, every teasing word from Blitz and every soft moan from Stolas making your head spin.
You and Stolas tried to kiss, but it quickly dissolved into nothing more than open-mouthed panting against each other’s lips. Hot breath mingled, tongues barely brushing as soft, desperate sounds spilled out.
Tears slipped down your cheeks from the sheer intensity of it all—too much sensation, too much of both of them surrounding you.
Stolas released one of your thighs, his hand sliding up gently. The soft pad of his talon brushed away a tear with exquisite tenderness, then stroked your cheek in slow, intimate little circles. “Shh, my darling… my sweet precious little star,” he murmured, voice thick but full of reverence. “You’re doing so wondrously, its alright let it out. We have you.”
Blitz’s thrusts grew a little harder, a little less controlled, his breathing ragged. “Fuck… you’re squ—gonna—ughh—shit, shit—” He buried himself deep one last time, groaning loudly as he spilled inside you, hot thick and pulsing. His tail gave a final, firm thrust into Stolas at the same moment.
The feeling of Blitz finishing inside you, combined with the relentless rhythm and Stolas’s tender touch, sent you tumbling over the edge again. You came with a broken whimper, body shaking between them.
It only took a few more moments—or what felt like moments—for Stolas and Blitz to follow. Stolas let out a long, trembling hoot, his cloaca clenching around Blitz’s tail as he came with shuddering breaths against your neck. Blitz growled low, hips stuttering through the aftershocks until all three of you were left panting and boneless in the enormous bed.
•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•
For a long moment, neither of them moved. Blitz stayed buried inside you, breathing hard, while Stolas held you close. Both of them just looked at you—Blitz’s glowing eyes soft in a way he’d refuse to admit, Stolas’s four red eyes glowing with quiet reverence as they took in your flushed face, the way your chest rose and fell, the peaceful, spacey expression you wore.
Blitz finally shifted with a low grunt. “Shit…I'm gooood, she’s really out of it,” he muttered to Stolas.
He pulled out of you slowly and carefully, watching your face the whole time to make sure you didn’t flinch. A soft, incoherent mumble slipped from your lips as he withdrew, but you stayed floaty and relaxed. Blitz stared down at you.
Stolas pressed a gentle kiss to your temple, voice barely above a whisper. “She’s floating… perfectly darling.” He glanced at Blitz, four eyes warm. “I’ll run a bath, Blitzy. Stay with her a moment?”
Blitz nodded, Stolas carefully extracted himself and slipped off the bed, heading toward the bathroom. “SATAN'S TAINT, she's a FUCKING wreck. Bet she’s gonna be sore as SHIT tomorrow.” The crude words were Blitz's his usual shield—but Stolas could hear the fondness underneath.
Stolas paused in the doorway, watching Blitz for a few quiet seconds. A small, knowing smile curved his beak. He knew exactly what that look meant, even if Blitz would rather die than admit it out loud. He simply smiled wider and disappeared into the bathroom to prepare the tub.
Blitz stayed with you a little longer, then carefully tucked the blankets around your limp form, making sure you were comfortable and warm. Once he realized you were actually asleep, he pressed one last quick kiss to your forehead—quick enough that he could pretend it didn’t happen if anyone asked—and headed to the bathroom.
When Stolas returned a few minutes later, the tub was ready steaming, fragrant with starlight and sweet florals, lights dimmed low. You were mumbly now, in that floaty, spacey way.
As Stolas leaned down to scoop you up, your hand reached out blindly, searching, clearly expecting Blitz to be right there too.
“Blitz…?” you mumbled, voice soft and slurry. "Where's ... ? Bli—"
Stolas caught your wandering hand gently, bringing it to his beak and pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles. “Shh, darling. He’s right here. Rest now. We’ve got you.”
He lifted you effortlessly against his chest, your head lolling against his feathers as he carried you into the bathroom.
Blitz was already there—sitting in the water with his arms resting on the sides of the tub. Stolas lowered you gently into Blitz’s lap, your back against his chest, legs draping loosely over his thighs. The warm water enveloped you like a blanket, soothing every oversensitive inch of skin.
You were so close to unconscious, drifting in that soft, hazy space where everything felt distant and safe. Your eyes fluttered half-open now and then, but mostly stayed closed, body boneless and trusting in their hold.
Blitz’s arms came around you immediately, one clawed hand splaying protectively over your stomach while the other scooped water and let it trickle slowly over your shoulders.
“Fuck, look at her, lucky bitch” he muttered, voice low and crude but his touch impossibly gentle as he started rinsing you clean. “Still fucked out and floatin’.” He cupped more water, letting it cascade down your chest in slow, careful streams, washing away the evidence of the night with steady, thorough strokes. His tail curled around your ankle under the water, keeping you anchored.
Stolas climbed in, bracketing you between them once more. He took a soft cloth and lathered it with gentle soap, then began washing your arms and neck with slow, reverent circles. “So lovely even now, all soft and trusting in our arms. Let us take care of you… you’ve given us so much tonight.” he whispered, voice like warm velvet.
Blitz snorted softly, but his hands never stopped their gentle work—sliding the soapy cloth between your thighs to clean you with surprising care, muttering the whole time.
“Yeah, yeah, Hold still, tits—gotta make sure you’re all clean down here. Can’t have you wakin’ up sticky tomorrow.” His touch stayed light and attentive, thumbs stroking soothing patterns on your hips as he made sure you were clean.
Stolas hummed in agreement, his talons—so careful with their sharp tips—working through your hair with shampoo, massaging your scalp in slow, relaxing circles.
“Look Blitzy she’s alseep, how exquisitely trusting she is.” He tilted your head back gently to rinse, then pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. One of his hands found yours under the water, lacing your fingers together while the other continued washing your back and sides with the warm cloth.
You didn't register the faint pinprick on your fingertip—Stolas took a tiny amount of your blood, barely noticeable, and set the small vial aside on the edge of the tub.
Blitz gave him a sharp look. “The FUCK is that for?”
Stolas’s voice was quiet, almost sheepish as he whispered back, still stroking your cheek with the pad of his talon. “To figure out what her Goetic bloodline is, Blitzy. I… I want to understand what she may need to expect. Protect her from the worst of it ... if we must.”
Blitz just grunted and went back to rinsing your legs with careful claws. “Whatever. Long as she’s okay.” His tail gave your ankle a gentle squeeze under the water, almost like reassurance.
•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•
They stayed in the bath until the water started to cool, taking their time—washing, rinsing, murmuring soft words and crude little comments in equal measure. Stolas kept up a steady stream of praise and feather-light kisses along your exposed skin. Blitz handled the more practical cleaning with blunt efficiency, his hands steady and warm.
When they finally lifted you out, you barely woke, body limp and content. Stolas wrapped you in a huge, fluffy towel first, drying you with gentle pats while Blitz grabbed one of Stolas’s silk shirts from the bedroom—an enormous thing that would swallow you whole. They slipped it over your head together, the fabric soft and smelling like Stolas—night blooming flowers, starlight and warmth. It hung down past your knees, sleeves draping past your hands, but it felt perfect.
“Looks ridiculous on her,” Blitz muttered with a fond scoff as he rolled the sleeves up on you. “But fuck if it ain’t cute.”
Stolas only hooted a laugh in agreement, lifting you again and carrying you back to the bed. They tucked you in the middle of the enormous mattress, sheets cool against your skin. Blitz slid in, pulling you against his side with one arm. Stolas took the other side, draping an arm over your waist and nuzzling into your hair with a contented trill.
You were already asleep, safe and warm between them, the world soft and distant as their hands settled over you—one clawed, one taloned.
Thinkin’ about being in a poly!relationship with Stolitz and—
—scissoring with Stolas on Blitz’s desk.
Y’all’s boyfriend had been gone foreverrrr! You and Stolas were beyond bored, too excited for the ‘fun night’ Blitz had promised earlier.
Ever shameless, Stolas suggests a head start on the ‘fun’ since a certain imp was running behind. And who were you to deny your pretty boyfriend?
“O-oh!” Stolas was loud as ever, prompting you to shove your tongue in his mouth so quiet him. “Y/n, it’s—“
“I know.” You whispered against his mouth. Your fingers gripped at his thighs, keeping them flush against his chest, while you basically sat on him like a chair and rode him.
The sounds of your combined slick was almost obscene, making even Stolas flush. But all he did was beg for more, fingers needily grabbing at any part of you he could reach.
“Please don’t stop, you’re making me feel so good, my love..” Stolas was gasping and whimpering, kissing at you messily yet lovingly. His hips were bucking up, feathers ruffled, pupils in the shape of hearts.
Obliging, your pace increased as much as it could without slipping off due to the mess between your bodies.
Just before Stolas was about to cum, the door slammed open, startling both of you.
Blitz just stands there for a moment, eyes a little wild and his tail flicking, darting his gaze over the scene in front of him.
“That is so fucking hot-“ Blitz groaned, a sound from deep in his throat, as the door swung shut. He prowled over to his desk, eagerly crawling on top to sit beside your and Stolas’ tangled up frames. “Keep goin’.”
You took the opportunity to lean forward and sloppily kiss Blitz, murmuring your appreciation for his return. Stolas complained a little— at least until Blitz leaned down (leaving you bent in half, chest against Stolas’) and kissed Stolas too.
Blitz gripped your hips tightly, massaging the skin, as he began to move you himself; fucking you over Stolas with mutters and growls of praise and filth.
“Look at the two of you..fuckin’ messy. Couldn’t wait for me, huh? Fuuuck..” Blitz’s tail coiled around your throat. “Ridin’ our pretty boy good?”
“Uh-huh. Making him feel sooo good.” You preen, glancing down to see Stolas’ fucked out face— though yours probably mirrored his. You left a kiss against the owl’s mouth for emphasis.
Stolas smiled dazedly, eyes barely able to peek open. He was close and the tingles of heat shooting up his spine made him arch.
You and Stolas each pressed a hand over the straining bulge in Blitz’ pants, squeezing and rubbing in time with each of your thrusts.
Blitz was unapologetically the loudest, cursing out how good the two of you were. Stolas matched his pitch, breathlessly babbling out praise and begs to cum. You made some pitchy noises here and there, but kept your mouth occupied so you could listen to your pretty boyfriends instead.
And when you all came? Genuinely sounded like a porno.
The imp only laughed, not done in the slightest. He smacked one of your thighs before doing the same to the demon underneath you. “Gonna fuckin’ eat both of you out. Lift those hips up, baby, lemme get my head down here—“
Their Yandere Arrangement (Headcanons/Scenario) Yanderes Blitzo/Stolas X Reader (Helluva Boss)
[Hello, My Sexy Muffins! I am back with another chapter, which takes place with Blitzo and Stolas before the execution. So they are yandere for you, and these are the headcanons for you, the gender neutral listener!]
(Disclaimer: This is before the execution with Blitzo and Stolas Sharing You, the Reader/listener! I hope you all enjoy this. Happy Pride Month and Pride Season!
Disclaimer: Blitzo and Stolas are not a canon couple yet, but they are sharing you in this; they are not yandere in canon! This is just for fun and not to be taken seriously at all! Simping for fictional characters and yanderes is fine! Just do not be illegal or gross about it! You know who you are! You Dirty, Flaky, Biscuits! Yanderes are not ideal partners to have in real life! Also, remember to separate fiction from reality and headcanon from canon! Thank you, and Happy Pride Month and Pride Season!)
-Sharing Yandere Headcanons With Yandere Blitzo and Stolas X Gender Neutral Reader From Helluva Boss-
.Blitzo needed help getting the book from Stolas, so he invited you along.
.He was in love with you and wanted a future with you and him.
.He was at first not thinking when he and you had sex with Stolas, and also he was super jealous and worried when Stolas showed interest in you and him.
.You are Blitzo's darling, and he did not want to share you, but he knew he needed the book to work, so he would agree for you and him to be Stolas's plaything.
.That is right, Blitzo had basically made an arrangement where you would have sex with him and stolas.
.Blitzo feels he is not good enough for you and feels he does not deserve you, but he cannot let you go or let anyone else steal you away from him.
.He keeps his true feelings for you locked down because he feels like he does not deserve your love, and if he told you that he loved you, it would ruin everything.
.So Blitzo is a yandere who is keeping his guard up with you and not being real with you.
.He is also not letting anyone but him and Stolas touch you because you belong to him and Stolas and no one else.
.Blitzo only tolerates stolas as the other man sharing you because he has to.
.Blitzo fully believes that Stolas could not actually love you and is just using him and you as his plaything.
.He is very much in the camp that Stolas could not see anything else but how little you and he were.
.Stolas, on the other hand, is experiencing love for the first time with you and Blitzo, and he loves you more than he loves Blitzo.
.Blitzo is his first real love, and you were the obsession of his life. Stolas is fully enchanted by having you and Blitzo and believes he can love and be with you both.
.He adores you and wants to be the best lover he can be for you.
.Stolas would love to pamper you and treat you like a royal because you mean so much to him.
.Stolas adores you so much that he would do the right thing and would even give his life up for you.
.They are both protective yanderes of you and want you to be safe and sound.
.Stolas does not understand what it is like for you to be a lesser demon cause he sees you as this amazing demon that he cannot live without.
.They both also become jealous of rivals, Blitzo is not afraid to shoot the hell out of his rivals and put them in a body bag!
.While Stolas was not physically aggressive with rivals but could turn them to stone.
.Stolas also uses his money to get rid of rivals.
.Stolas would spoil you as his darling, taking you on trips and giving you so many gifts.
.Blitzo would very much spoil you the best he can, as well as making breakfast for you and also getting you your favorite coffee.
.They both adore you and treat you as the most amazing thing in their lives.
.Stolas would even leave his wife for you because you mean so much to him, even more than Blitzo~
.Finally, when they confess their love to you, they both talk to each other, and Stolas makes it clear to Blitzo that he does love you so much.
.Blitzo did not know how to take that Stolas loves you as much as he does, but he can understand why Stolas does.
.Because you are so amazing and just perfect, and Blitzo cannot blame Stolas for loving you, the bird bitch just had good taste, is all.
.They agree to tell you how much they love you and that they want you to be theirs and theirs alone.
.Stolas takes you out on a very romantic date with him and Blitzo, and they confess their love for you then and there.
.If you accept their love, they will be over the moon, and you can bet that you will have some of the best sex you have ever had.
.But if you turn down their love confession, rejecting them and their love, they do not take it well.
.Stolas would be heartbroken and feel that he has lost the love of his life.
.While Blitzo is spiraling as he knew he was unlovable, and your rejection proved it to him.
.They are both heartbroken, but they are not going to give up on their love for you.
.They will have you back, and they will do whatever it takes. After all, you are connected to Stolas through contract, so your soul belongs to him, and that means you belong to him, and Blitzo, you do not have a choice in this matter. You are theirs for the rest of time.
(Now time for the Scenario part)
(No One's POV)
You woke up in your bedroom to knocks on the door. You groan and pull yourself out of bed. You had a long day at work. Working for Blitzo had not been easy since he confessed his love to you. He was mopey, and you knew that it was hard for him, but you still needed the money, so you could not just leave your job with him.
"I am coming!" You call out and make your way to the door, unlocking it.
When you open the door, there are Stolas and Blitzo. Your eyes widened as you saw the two of them.
"What are you doing there?" You ask them as you look between them.
"We are here to have you accept our love, dearest," Stolas says. "May we come in?"
You blink and shake your head. "There is nothing left to say to either of you. I do not feel the same about either of you."
"We know you rejected us already, but Stolas found a way to make you stay with us!" Blitzo tells you.
"What?" You gape at them, and a golden collar appears around your neck, and it is attached to a golden chain which is in Stolas's hand. "WHAT THE FUCK!?" You cry out and try to yank the collar off your neck.
"You made an agreement that you are bound by contract to be mine," Stolas tells you. "You belong to Blitzo and me; we are not going to let you go."
You yank your head back, but Stolas pulls you to him and wraps his arms around you. "It is okay, dearest~ You belong to us~ We will make you happy."
"Stolas is right." Blitzo agrees with Stolas. "We promise you will one day love us as we love you."
You whimper in their arms and hate that you are not able to get away. Now or ever...
[YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS another chapter is done! I hope you all enjoyed this, and stay sexy, all of my sexy muffins. Also, happy Pride month and season!]
◉ Sinopsis; Buying them something unrequested because it made you think of them
◉ Feat; poly Stolitz, M&M, Fizzarolli
── ˙•˚∘✮🌙ᯓ🪐˙•˚∘ ──
Busy days for you were always the worst. Work, chores, errands- it all just meant you had to decline the invitation to the mall your partner(s) extended to you. Fortunately, while they're out, they find something that will hopefully cheer you up- and be a nice reward for your hard work.
Of course, it was Stolas' idea to take you and Blitzø to go out shopping. To their dismay, you had housework and errands to catch up on. Stolas insisted you join them and worry about the work later, but you assured him that you had no problem with the two going to the mall without you.
For a couple hours, the two navigated the labyrinth of stores and although Stolas and Blitzø were having fun together, your presence was missed very much. Throughout the day, they would catch sight of little things that reminded them of you. A plush here, some wall art there... and as much as Stolas wants to, he knows buying everything that reminded him of you maybe wasn’t the most viable option. Blitzø, on the other hand, is way more eager to spend. Instead of extravagant gifts, Blitzø settles on little knick-knacks that make him think of you. Maybe a few buttons or keychains, a cheap figurine- something along those lines. Stolas eventually settles on a jumbo-sized version of a plush you’d pointed out to him a while back.
Back at your apartment, you hear the screeching of tires coming into the lot. Ah. Must be Blitzø. Not long after, a loud, rapid succession of knocks paired with an annoyed “let us in” (and a quieter “Patience, darling”) at the other side of your door.
┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺ °
As disappointed Moxxie and Millie were that you couldn’t join them in going to the mall, they knew it was important to give you space to finish work and have some quality time for yourself. Of course, if you hadn’t insisted you needed the alone time to focus on your assignments, they wouldve just stayed with you.
While Moxxie and Millie were at the mall, they agreed to find a gift or two- seeing as you were working so hard, it only made sense you deserved a little something. Most of their time was spent at the food court, where they shared milkshakes. As is customary, Moxxie serenades Millie with a love song. Afterwards, as they’re wandering, Millie spots something- a blanket, hanging in one of the store windows. But it wasn’t just any blanket, no. It had a beautiful design with your favorite colors, and, Millie noted, it was quite large… perfect for all three of you to snuggle under.
When they arrived back at your shared space, Millie ran in, jumping onto you, while Moxxie hung back to close the door before joining in on a group hug. Safe to say, y’all made good use of that new blanket.
┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺ °
Fizzarolli had meant to surprise you with a fun date… unfortunately, his timing wasn’t the best- he’d unknowingly picked a day where you had to prepare a presentation for work. Because of Fizz’s… talent (of being a major distraction), you’d said you’d prefer if he gave you a few hours to yourself.
While somewhat dejected, Fizz understood- he was just so amazing, how could you not look at him? No big deal, he reasoned. He would take this time to treat you (and himself). While he’s at the mall, Fizz takes advantage of the massage chairs and pop-up boutiques. With freshly manicured nails and rejuvenated muscles, Fizz went off to your pay a visit to your favorite stores. It doesn't take him long to find something- well, multiple things. He decided on a new bag for you, and of course you have to put something in the bag. So he got self care supplies; face masks, nail polish, and a new spa headband.
Knowing you've had a busy day, Fizzarolli was hoping you'd be receptive to a self-care night. The relieved sigh and eager hug from you served as a pretty clear "yes."
After a long day, a surprise gift from your partner(s) was just what you needed.
Stolas: I... I can't deny my feelings anymore. I love both Blitz and Reader but I fear that I have over stepped their boundaries, I am willing to step away and let them be together without me if that will truly make them happy.
Blitz: This is ridiculous. Why does Stolas AND Reader have to pretend that they care. Stolas owns was a quick fuck and Readers probably hoping that they can get a raise if they keep climbing into bed with me. Fuck pathetic shit you are Blitz, you've seen the way that they look at eachother, who are you kidding thinking they would look at you that way? Should just leave them with eachother and hopefully you don't fuck over another relationship.
Reader: Why doesn't Blitz and Stolas see how much they care for eachother? They've had same real feelings for eachother before I came along. I love them both but they love eachother more, I'm going to get them together even if it's the last thing I do.
THE AAAAAANGST OMG IT HURTS IT HURTS SO GOOOOOOOD
God if you think Stolitz is messy by themselves just wait until poor reader gets involved😭😭
Warnings ⚠️: it's hell ? ... so hellish stuff lecherous dudes, Canon typical violence, swearing, eventual smut, some canon typical religious overtones, alcohol consumption, self-deprecation, angst, blood, horror elements, body horror.
Part 5 | Part 7 - Coming Soon
🔪 You'd Run Too 🦉 P.6
Or: Team Bonding at Its Finest
It had been five days since the incident. Your hands had healed remarkably fast. The bandages were off now, leaving behind pink, tender skin that was sensitive but functional. You could hold things again without wincing, which was a significant improvement over the pathetic finger-fumbling of the past few days.
Now you were at I.M.P, watching Moxxie organize files with obsessive precision while Millie cleaned various weapons and hummed a tune that sounded suspiciously cheerful for someone elbow-deep in axe maintenance.
"Alright, shitheads!" Blitz burst out of his office, making you jump. "We're going out!"
"Out where, sir?" Moxxie asked without looking up from his filing.
"There's a bar down the street. Decent drinks, mediocre atmosphere, and they don't ask questions when things get stabby." Blitz grinned. "I figured we could use some team bonding or whatever the fuck HR would call it."
"We don't have HR, sir."
"Which is why I can call it whatever the fuck I want! Now get your asses up, we're leaving in five!"
Millie perked up immediately. "Oh, I love that place! They got those little fried cheesey things!"
"They also have a thirty-percent mortality rate for new customers," Moxxie pointed out nervously.
"Yeah, but we're not new customers, so we're fine!" Blitz turned to you. "You're coming too. Can't leave you here alone, you'd probably accidentally summon something or break something expensive."
"I wouldn't—" you started to protest.
"Red-hot coals—bare hands—Your decision-making is clearly questionable." He was already heading for the door. "Come OOON!"
Loona emerged from the break room, phone in hand, looking deeply unenthused. "Do I have to?"
"Yes! It's TEAM bonding, Loonie! You're part of the team!"
"Ugh, fucking fine." She slouched toward the door, still scrolling through her phone.
Millie linked her arm through yours with a bright smile. "Don't worry, sugar! It'll be fun! Maybe!"
"That's not reassuring," you said weakly, but let yourself be pulled along anyway.
The bar was called "The Scorched Liver," which should have been your first warning. The second warning was the bullet holes in the exterior wall. The third was the demon slumped unconscious outside the entrance.
"Is he okay?" you asked, pointing at the body.
"He's fine, that's Jerry. He's always there," Blitz said dismissively, stepping over Jerry without a second glance.
Inside was... well, "dive bar" was generous. It was dark, smelled like sulfur and cheap alcohol, and was populated by demons who looked like they'd murder you for looking at them wrong. The floor was sticky, the walls were stained with substances you didn't want to identify, and the music was some kind of hellish rock that made your teeth hurt.
"Isn't this place great?" Blitz announced proudly.
"It's... atmospheric," you managed.
Moxxie leaned in close. "Stay near us and don't make eye contact with anyone. That's a good general rule for Hell, actually."
The group claimed a table near the back—well, "claimed" was putting it mildly. Blitz told the demons already sitting there to "fuck off or lose kneecaps," and they immediately vacated. Apparently, I.M.P. had a reputation here.
"First round's on me!" Blitz announced. "Except for you—" he pointed at you, "—I got no idea what humans can drink here without dying, so you get... I dunno, water?"
"We have Beelzejuice!" the bartender called over—a massive demon with four arms and horns that almost scraped the ceiling.
"What's Beelzejuice?" you asked nervously.
"You don't wanna know," Loona said, not looking up from her phone.
"It's made from fermented honey and it glows!" Millie said cheerfully. "It's real good!"
"I'll have water," you said quickly.
Blitz cackled. "Smart choice, tits!"
While Blitz was at the bar, you noticed a dartboard in the corner. It was being used by a group of rowdy demons, but they seemed to be wrapping up their game.
"Do you... do you guys play darts?" you asked hesitantly.
Moxxie's face lit up. "Oh! Yes, actually! I'm quite good at it. Requires precision, steady hands, mathematical understanding of trajectory—"
"Nerd shit," Loona translated.
"It's not 'nerd shit,' it's skill!" Moxxie protested.
"I've never been very good at darts," you admitted. "But it might be fun to try?"
Millie grinned. "Oh, we should totally play! Girls versus... Moxxie!"
"Why am I a separate team?!"
"Because Loona doesn't wanna play and someone's gotta give us a challenge!" Millie was already standing, pulling you with her.
The dartboard was old and pockmarked with holes, some of which looked suspiciously like they came from bullets rather than darts. The demons who'd been playing before left with a few grumbles and pointed looks that made you shrink closer to Millie.
"Okay, sugar, you ever played before?" Millie asked, handing you a dart. It was heavy, the tip wickedly sharp.
"A few times. I was always terrible at it." You hefted the dart experimentally. "Like, embarrassingly bad."
"Well, let's see what we're working with!" Millie stepped back, gesturing at the board.
You lined up your shot, aimed carefully, and threw.
The dart sailed past the board entirely, embedding itself in the wall with a solid thunk.
Blitz, returning with drinks, nearly dropped them laughing. "Holy SHIT! You missed the ENTIRE BOARD! That's almost impressive!"
"I told you I was bad!" you protested, your face burning with embarrassment.
"Bad? That's not BAD, that's like... weapons-grade incompetent!" Blitz was wheezing now. "How do you miss something that BIG?!"
"Leave her alone, sir," Moxxie said, retrieving your dart from the wall. "Everyone starts somewhere. Here—" he handed it back to you, "—let me show you proper form."
He demonstrated, his movements precise and controlled. "You want to keep your elbow at ninety degrees, wrist straight, and release at the apex of your throw. It's all about consistency and follow-through."
You tried to copy his stance. "Like this?"
"Almost. Here—" he gently adjusted your elbow, "—and your feet should be like this—" he tapped your foot with his, showing you the proper position. "Now, don't throw hard. Darts is about precision, not power."
You threw again. This time the dart hit the board!
The very outer edge of the board. In the no-points zone.
But still. Board contact.
"Hey, that's improvement!" Millie cheered.
"That's pity points at best," Loona muttered from the table, not looking up from her phone.
"Oh, shut it, Loonie!" Blitz called over. "Let her have her small victories before she inevitably fails again!"
"You're very encouraging, sir," Moxxie said dryly.
"I'm a FUCKING inspirational speaker, Moxxie. Now throw your dart so I can watch you be boring and competent at something."
Moxxie's throw was, predictably, perfect. Dead center. Bullseye.
"NERD!" Blitz shouted.
"It's not nerdy, it's SKILLED!"
"Same thing!"
Millie took her turn next, and while not as precise as Moxxie, she still hit a respectable score. "We're gonna need to practice, sugar," she said to you with a grin. "Can't have the boys beating us!"
"I'm one boy. Singular. This isn't fair teams," Moxxie protested.
"Life ain't fair, Mox!" Millie kissed his cheek, making him flush.
You took your next turn, and this time, with Moxxie's coaching still fresh in your mind, you actually hit a scoring zone. Only five points, but still.
"Look at that! You're learning!" Moxxie seemed genuinely pleased. "Try to keep that same form. Consistency is key."
"Absolutely, thank you Mox," you said with a small smile.
Blitz had wandered over, drink in hand, positioning himself specifically to heckle. "You call that a throw, Moxxie? My grandma could throw better than that, and she's been dead for sixty years!"
"I got a bullseye!"
"Yeah, but it was a BORING bullseye! No flair! No style!" Blitz gestured dramatically, sloshing his drink. "You gotta put some fucking PASSION into it!"
"It's DARTS, sir, not interpretive dance!"
"Everything's interpretive dance if you try hard enough!"
The game continued, and you slowly, painfully, began to improve. You were still the worst player by a significant margin, but you were hitting the board more often than not, and even scored a decent throw that landed in the twenty zone.
"Holy shit, did you see that?!" you said excitedly.
"I saw it, sugar! You're getting the hang of it!" Millie high-fived you.
"Pure luck," Loona commented from the table.
"Loona, you haven't looked up from your phone once, how would you even know?" you shot back before you could stop yourself.
There was a moment of silence. Loona's eyes slowly raised from her phone, meeting yours with an expression you couldn't read.
Then she snorted. "Huh. She's got a spine. Didn't expect that."
"Character development!" Blitz announced proudly, like he'd personally taught you to talk back.
Moxxie lined up another shot, and Blitz leaned obnoxiously close to him. "Gonna choke, Mox? Gonna embarrass yourself in front of your wife and the human?"
"Sir, please, you're in my throwing space—"
"Ooh, 'throwing space!' So official! So PROFESSIONAL!" Blitz made exaggerated air quotes. "What's next, you gonna file a workplace complaint? Oh wait, WE DON'T HAVE HR!"
Moxxie threw anyway, hitting just off-center. "See? You made me miss!"
"I didn't touch you! That's all your own sad, limp-wristed incompetence!"
"You were BREATHING on me!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, should I just STOP BREATHING?! Should I DIE for your PRECIOUS CONCENTRATION?!" Blitz gasped dramatically. "Moxxie needs SILENCE and RESPECT for his little dart game!"
"It's called BASIC COURTESY!"
"Never heard of her!"
You couldn't help but laugh at their bickering. It was absurd and chaotic, but there was something almost... fond about it. Like this was their routine, their normal.
You were lining up your next throw, tongue poking out in concentration, when you felt it.
A hand.
On your ass.
A very firm, very deliberate grab.
You froze.
Your brain short-circuited, unable to process what had just happened. The dart fell from your nerveless fingers, clattering to the floor.
"Well, hey there, sweet thing," a gravelly voice said from behind you. "Ain't seen you around before. You new?"
You turned slowly. The demon behind you was tall—maybe six and a half feet—with green skin, too many teeth, and eyes that made your skin crawl. He was grinning down at you like he'd just won a prize.
"I—" you started, but your voice wouldn't work properly.
"She's with us," Moxxie said sharply, stepping forward. His hand was on his hip, where you knew he kept a concealed weapon. "Back off."
"Relax, little guy, I'm just being friendly." The demon's grin widened. "Real friendly."
His hand moved toward you again.
It never made contact.
Millie's fist connected with his face with a sound like a gunshot. The demon staggered backward, blood spurting from his nose.
"KEEP YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF HER!" Millie snarled, and you'd never heard her voice like that before—absolutely feral.
The demon recovered, wiping blood from his face. "You BITCH—"
He didn't get to finish.
Blitz had appeared from nowhere, grabbing the demon's arm and twisting it at an angle that made you hear something crack. "Oh, you think you can just TOUCH people without asking?! That's RUDE AS FUCK!"
"What's it to you?! She's just some—"
Blitz's knee connected with the demon's stomach, doubling him over. "She's with US, you grab-happy piece of shit!"
The demon's friends—because of course he had friends—started getting up from their table. Big, mean-looking demons with scars and weapons and very bad intentions.
"Oh, you fuckers wanna GO?!" Blitz's grin was manic, dangerous. "BRING IT ON, SHIT-STAINS!"
Everything happened so fast.
One of the demon's friends threw a bottle. It shattered against the wall next to you, making you scream and duck. Moxxie immediately grabbed you, pulling you behind him.
"It's okay! It's fine! Just stay behind me!" Moxxie was saying, but his voice was high and panicked because you were panicking and that was making him panic more.
Millie had produced a knife from somewhere—where had she been hiding a knife that big?—and was currently using it to stab the demon who'd grabbed you. Repeatedly. With enthusiasm.
Blitz had tackled another demon, and they were rolling across the floor, fists flying. "THAT'S RIGHT, COCKBITE! SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT!" He landed a punch that made a sickening crunch. "EAT SHIT AND DIE!"
The entire bar erupted.
Suddenly everyone was fighting everyone. Bottles flew. Tables shattered. Someone went through a window. The bartender was shouting something about property damage but no one was listening.
You watched, eyes wide with horror, as Millie twisted her knife in a way that made the demon scream. Blood sprayed across her face and she was smiling, actually smiling, covered in gore and looking absolutely delighted.
Blitz had gotten his hands on a broken bottle and was using it to slash at another demon's face. "COME ON, FUCKFACE! MY GRANDMA HITS HARDER THAN YOU!"
"Oh my god," you whispered, your hands coming up to cover your mouth. "Oh my god, oh my god—"
"Don't look! Just don't look!" Moxxie was trying to position himself between you and the violence, but it was everywhere. "This is fine! Totally normal! Just a regular bar fight!"
"THAT DEMON'S ARM CAME OFF!" you shrieked.
"Yes! That happens sometimes! Very normal in Hell!" Moxxie's voice was getting progressively more high-pitched. "Oh, crumbs—you're panicking. You're really panicking. Please stop panicking, you're panicking and that's making ME panic and I need to NOT panic right now!"
A demon lunged toward you. Moxxie shot him. Just—pulled out a gun and shot him, point-blank, no hesitation. The demon went down hard.
"MOXXIE!" you gasped.
"I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, BUT HE WAS GOING TO HURT YOU!" Moxxie looked like he might actually cry. "This is—this is so bad, you shouldn't be seeing this, why did Blitz bring you here?!"
Blitz, hearing his name, looked over. He was covered in blood—none of it his, you desperately hoped—and holding a demon in a headlock. "You okay over there?!"
"WE'RE FINE!" Moxxie shouted back. "JUST FINISH YOUR MURDER SPREE SO WE CAN LEAVE!"
"ON IT!" Blitz twisted, and there was an audible snap. "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR HAVING WEAK-ASS VERTEBRAE, DIPSHIT!"
Millie had moved on to a second demon, her movements fluid and practiced and absolutely terrifying. She moved like violence was a dance she'd perfected, every stab and slash precise and brutal.
You'd known what they did. You'd seen the weapons, seen Millie and Moxxie come back covered in blood. But knowing and seeing were two very different things.
These were your... friends? Acquaintances? The people housing you? They were murderers. Actual, efficient, enthusiastic murderers.
And they were doing this because someone had touched you.
Loona, you noticed distantly, was still at the table, still on her phone, completely unbothered by the chaos around her. A bottle flew past her head. She didn't even flinch.
"Is this—is this normal?!" you managed to gasp out to Moxxie.
"Define normal!" Moxxie shot another demon who got too close. "For Hell? Yes! For you? Probably traumatizing! I'm so sorry!"
The original demon—the one who'd grabbed you—was on the ground now, Blitz standing over him. You couldn't see what Blitz was doing, but the demon was screaming.
"YOU LIKE TOUCHING PEOPLE?! HUH?! YOU LIKE THAT?!" Blitz was shouting. There was a sickening crunch. "TOUCH HER AGAIN AND I'LL RIP OFF EVERYTHING YOU GOT AND SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT! WE CLEAR, ASSHOLE?!"
Millie had finished with her opponents and was making her way back toward you, flicking blood off her knife casually. "You okay, sugar?"
"Am I—am I OKAY?!" Your voice came out strangled. "You just—there's so much blood—the stabbing—"
"Aw, hun, I know it looks bad, but this is just how we handle disrespect in Hell!" She smiled at you, sweet and cheerful, with blood dripping down her face. "Can't let people think they can just touch what's ours!"
"What's yours?!"
"Well, yeah! You're part of the I.M.P. family now! One of us!" She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Blitz had apparently finished with the original demon and was walking back over, shaking blood off his hands. "Alright, I think we've made our point. Time to go before the cops show up."
"There are COPS?!" you squeaked.
"Yeah, but they're lazy. We got like... five minutes." Blitz grabbed his coat from the table. "Loonie, come on!"
"Finally," Loona sighed, standing and pocketing her phone.
Moxxie was still holding your shoulders, looking at you with deep concern. "Are you alright? Do you need to sit down? You look very pale. Well, paler than usual. Do humans go into shock? Is that a thing?"
"I'm—I'm fine," you lied, your voice shaking. "I just need... air. I need air."
Blitz took one look at you and his expression shifted to something like concern. "Shit. Okay, Moxxie, get her outside. Millie, grab my coat. Loona, if you see any cops, bite them."
"I'm not biting cops for you."
"FINE, just distract them or whatever!"
You were ushered out of the bar in a rush, Moxxie on one side and Millie on the other. The cool night air of Hell hit your face, and you sucked in huge gulps of it, trying to calm your racing heart.
Behind you, you could hear sirens starting up in the distance.
"Well," Blitz said cheerfully, like he hadn't just hospitalized multiple demons. "That was fun! We should do team bonding more often!"
"Sir, I really don't think—" Moxxie started.
"Moxxie, shut the fuck up, I'm having a moment." Blitz looked at you, his expression unreadable. "You good?"
Were you good? You'd just watched your... coworkers? Friends? You'd just watched them brutally assault multiple demons because one had grabbed your ass. You'd seen Millie stab someone with the enthusiasm of someone who genuinely enjoyed it. You'd seen Blitz beat someone bloody with his bare hands.
And they'd done it to protect you.
"I... I don't know," you admitted quietly.
"That's fair," Blitz said, surprisingly gentle. "Come on, let's get you home before you pass out or something."
As the group started walking back toward I.M.P., you noticed that Millie and Blitz were positioning themselves on either side of you, like bodyguards. Moxxie was scanning the street nervously, one hand still near his weapon.
They were protecting you. Still protecting you, even now.
You were in Hell, surrounded by demons, living with assassins who'd just proven exactly how violent they could be.
And somehow, impossibly, you'd never felt safer.
Even if you were definitely going to have nightmares about this for weeks.
