Having a fangirl as a wife is nice at first. You think date night could be the two of you watching some nice anime together and cuddle. I was a fool. I didn’t realize how deep her interests truly go.
1. I watch dub only, just because I can’t read and watch at the same time. She complains about that... a lot. Sub always comes out earlier and she hates waiting to talk about the episodes. It does not help because she’s already read books/comics/manga and all their spin offs or extra side stories.
4. Did I mention spoilers?
5. She’s read everything and more.
6. I can’t watch an anime without her either commenting or quoting. For example, “Oh, you are going to love this part.” “Fuck I hate this part.” “Screw this little bitch. (I have no idea why we are mad at this character yet)”, and my favorite, when she can’t stop giggling at intense parts and just says “you’ll see.”
7. I have to pause sometimes cause she goes on rants that she doesn't realize is spoiling things for me because she forgets that I don’t read the manga or watch sub.
8. What is going on in fandoms is daily news to me.
9. Shipping is not mailing a box.
10. OTPs, OT3s, and bowls (?) are a thing
11. I know more about fanfics and the tropes (?) than I have ever wished I did. Apparently if our relationship was a fic, our fic would have been labeled as a slow burn (?), mutual pinning (I understood that), idiots in love (okay, yes, I'll admit that), and friends to lovers (how is this a trope? isn't this common? She just said “oh honey” to me)
12. She has husbands, wives, best boys, and best girls - which I do not understand. I’m competing for my wife, currently with a red-head shark boy who is slowly taking over an entire wall in our bedroom. Trust me, I know it about to get a whole lot worse.
13. omegaverse (?) where do I even? it’s like werewolves? but not? and men can get pregnant by other men/women? and women can get other men/women pregnant?
14. I can’t show my wife anything new because it’s only new to me. She’s seen/read it already like ten years ago and has written ten pages of what she thought about the ending. And I’m just like “it’s over already?”
15. The funko pops that we are not allowed to take out of the box formed a tower in our bedroom.
16. HotTopic is my worst enemy. I beg you, please stop getting more anime shirts and figures that she loves and feeding her addiction. I can’t deal with the guilt and the sad puppy dog eyes she has.
There’s more but this all I can think of right now. I love my wife, but we can’t watch anime together anymore.
