#stories.interlude

[lgcmilan]

until you came over, i swore i'd never do it again (interlude 2)

overpriced brand dress much too short to be decent, glass of a drink that would turn 'enough' to 'too much', a white coffee table as stage to dance the night away, a room full of people, but none of it matters. half lidded eyes open again as first notes of another song blasts through the stereo. two gazes interlock, and the rest of the world vanishes. a silent exchange, a secret shared only by two people, intimate moments that no one else is privy too. 'who sent you, who sent you, who sent you around again' such simple words, yet they unlock precious memories. isn't music magic?

o silly me, o foolish me. i knew nothing about love, but i had foresaken it. too many disappointment, too many tears shed over men, too much pain. i had passed the stage of disliking romance and love; i was completely indifferent to them. i was indifferent to most things in life at that moment.

as directionless as i appeared to be, until that moment, i always had hopes and dreams for he future. even without concrete plans to reach them, their existence is what kept me going forward without fear or regret. but in their absence, the future seemed bleak and everything meaningless. even the idea of bringing happiness to others felt forced. life wasn't blue anymore; it was just bland.

i spent most of my free time laying on my bed, earphones covering my ears to avoid socializing as i built ever expanding walls around my heart. never again, i kept promising myself. but i didn't know my opponent would be a storm, a force of nature that came in the most innocuous of ways; a kakaotalk notifications.

i considered ignoring it, but truth be told, laying down and wallowing in my misery was boring. i needed a distraction, so i reached for my phone and checked the preview of the message.

i wanted a distraction and received a heart attack instead. as if life was playing a prank on me, the lyrics 'who sent you, who sent you, who sent you around' played in my earphones as i reread the words on my screen, being extremely careful to not opening the message itself.

[ 💬 heol?!?! ] hi~ eunhye sunbaenim said you're probably too embarrassed to [...]

"ah shit.."

[lgcmilan]

maybe an oasis will come (interlude 1)

russet eyes burning with curiosity. light carresses over silky hair. much too short stolen moment of peace. tell me a story.

during the craziness of year end ceremonies and festivities, nothing beats christmas stages. twinkling eyes on the waiting room screen, i never saw it coming. no one ever does.

i wasn't unhappy, nor was i happy. but i was better. better enough to enjoy this day, this moment, like it was my first time. in a way, it was; memories of the previous year only coming in the form of fuzzy flashes, splashes of colors and familiar scents. weeks of my life spent in a state of dissociation. even after resurfacing, everything in my life was blue; tastes, scents, people, places and above all, love. love in all its forms. nothing was really enjoyable and the closer something got to the thing called Love, the bitter it got, until everything crumbled to ashes. my heart too. and i was fine with that.

and then you came. no, that's no the entire truth; you were already there. to the me that i was at that moment, you had always been there. in hindsight i can say that on that day, in the most innocuous way, you started existing in my life.

only the passage of time - and perhaps embellished memories - makes that moment seem grander than it actually was. in truth, it was just a girl, alongside several others, staring at a screen, unbothered by the whirlwind of activities around them. a performance came and went, leaving a seed of interest at the back of her mind, and life went on. at least, it did for a few minutes, as our manager gathered us to film one thing or another.

like the little chatty ducklings we were, we followed her, our combined voices and various conversation probably alerting of our presence from a good distance. too engrossed in my conversation with sena, i only noticed people coming our way too late.

life is a question of timing, and at that moment as i shifted my gaze beyond my groupmates, my eyes found yours. a second earlier, a second later, perhaps things would've been different.

a second, an eternity. everything muted, everything too loud. world freezing, world spinning. a moment, where everything happened all at once. a moment like many others, yet entirely different for me. how many times had our gazes met without my noticed? how many times did we pass by each other and politely greeted the other? but on that day, i saw you for the first time, not a single shade of blue clouding my senses and mind. it was but a glance, but a moment, broken by polite head bows and greetings.

and then i hit a wall. literally.

"ouch! where did this wall come from?"