Had lunch with my buddy AR-T13 the armorer today. There were a couple of executioners a few tables over, also on their lunch break. We gossiped.
I was like, “Why do we even have executioners? They’re not that special. Hell, I’ve killed people and I’m just the handyman. Just look at those smug assholes and their fancy armor. They’re probably looking for someone to tattle on right now.”
“Yeah, it’s kinda crap that the higher-ups have those guys keeping tabs on us. Hux and them are still pretty pissed about FN-2187, so I guess they felt like we need extra ‘motivation’ to keep in line. But I don’t need to be intimidated into not committing treason against the First Order. I have a pretty sweet gig here. I still don’t want some power-tripping butthead to turn me in for saying the wrong thing about the Supreme Leader or the General or whoever, though. That’s why I designed their ‘fancy armor’ in the first place.”
“The cool black stripe was your idea? Why?”
“Tell me, Stevey; would you bitch about the officers nearly as much if you thought there was the slightest chance the person to whom you were speaking might be an executioner?”
“Hell no. I’m very into being alive. It’s kind of my thing.”
“Makes life a lot easier, then, when they don’t look like the rest of us, right? Much easier to cover your ass when you can see Big Brother coming from a mile away.” I must note here that AR-T13 has the cheekiest grin.
“AR-T13, you sneaky bastard.”
“You can pay me back for my thoughtfulness by not dinging up your armor quite so often.”
“No promises, but you’re still a hero.”