Summary: Professor Hotchner is impressed when you show up in his criminal psychology class. You are eager to learn and he is more than happy to help.
Warnings: talking about rape in the context of criminal psychology, talking about rapists in the same context, mention of bondage, mention of kinks, typical profiling stuff, implied past physical abuse, spiralling, dark thoughts, sex references, profiling matters, notorious serial killers, graphic content in the description of serial killers, angst, hurt, comfort, smut, fluff
MINORS DNI - 18+
Pairing: Professor!Hotchner x Fem!Student!Reader
I should mention that the reader is an adult woman.
Warnings: the pining is strong in this one, mention of Haley and Haley's death, mentions of cancer, heavy themes, bad writing, comfort, fluff, and finally some graphic smut!!
Pairing: Professor!Hotchner x Student!You (fem!reader)
Note that they're both consenting adults. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.
Word count: 10.3k (This the turning point of our story. This will be the longest part. I could have split it in two to get 10 chapters in total, but it seemed better this way.)
MINORS DNI - 18+
OFFICIALLY NSFW 👀
A/N: Stay calm! Stay f***ing calm! 😘
Also, I will proofread this later, I was too excited to share this with y'all. Enjoy!
"To be fully seen by somebody and be loved anyhow is a human offering that can border on miraculous."
Aaron loved teaching a lot more ever since you walked into his classroom back in September. Aaron also loved writing papers a lot more ever since you agreed to help him out. He could appreciate that he was a selfish man, but he loved spending time with you way more than he would ever admit out loud.
He was aware that the right thing to do would be to keep his distance. He knew he should do anything to always maintain you at arm’s length. But Aaron noticed pretty quickly that he was incapable of letting you go. He was incapable of walking away. He wasn’t a decent enough man to stay away even if he fully understood that it would be best for you if he did. The idea of not having you in his life turned his stomach and truth be told, he didn’t want to be away from you if he could help it. Those two weeks where you had been distant had hurt him beyond belief and he knew what it would do to him to lose you altogether.
Yet whatever it was that was unfolding between you was destructive. It seemed as though both of you were aware that a terrible crash at high speed was imminent, yet you both kept pressing the gas pedal in spite of the risks.
Aaron had stopped caring what happened to him the second he saw the pain he had caused you that day in his office, and he regretted letting you walk away as soon as you turned your back on him, but he knew that you offering your friendship was the best he could get and it would have to suffice for both your sakes.
Aaron loved that it had been easy to settle into a friendship with you, even if you both had this weird ability to toe the line between what was acceptable and what wasn’t. Aaron strived to repair what he had broken whenever he could, and while you insisted on keeping things as professional as you could, he loved your bi-weekly emails that were far less formal. He had come to learn many things about you through those emails and he found it easy to share things about himself as well. He always looked forward to your emails, but he had a soft spot for those in particular. These two personal emails reminded him that he hadn’t completely wrecked things and Aaron was beyond grateful that you were willing to be his friend, and that thought was usually enough to pull him out of his constant misery. He wanted to be much more than your friend, but he would be content with whatever you would offer him, especially since being friends and nothing more was in your best interest.
Aaron remembered almost laughing in your face when you had mentioned you didn’t want to hear about the people he dated. For some reason, you were under this ridiculous notion that he could ever want somebody else while you were in his life. Aaron recognized early on that he was drawn to you inexplicably, and while he didn’t know everything there was to know about you, he knew enough to realize he couldn’t possibly date another woman.
Today, Aaron admired you shamelessly. You were clearly aware that you looked gorgeous in your dress and Aaron couldn’t resist looking at you, especially when you looked all focused on what you were writing in front of him. You always looked incredible, but there was something special about your determined expression that made him smile and feel warm inside.
“What?” you asked, and Aaron knew he had been caught staring.
He smiled at you, looking at you smile back instinctively. He didn’t know why you always smiled back, but he loved your smiles too much to ever question the reason behind them.
“Nothing.”
Aaron watched you frown and attempt to glare.
“Spill. Do I have something on my face?”
He shook his head, still smiling because your frown amused him. “No. You’re just really beautiful. It’s distracting.”
You scoffed. “After puking my guts out and showing you my wasted self, I'm honestly astounded you still find me beautiful.”
Aaron had to shrug and find an answer to that because he would still think you were the most beautiful woman ever even if you were covered in vomit. “Jack is 6. I’ve dealt with my fair share of vomit already.”
“Still.”
“You’re a very graceful vomiter,” he explained.
“That’s the worst but cutest compliment ever.”
You looked too happy for him not to add, “You’re exquisite, ethereal, sublime-”
He saw you blush and he grinned widely at having succeeded to unnerve you a little.
“Stop it, Hotch.”
“What are you going to do to stop me?” he teased, feeling too playful to care about the work that had to be done.
You turned and pointed towards his guitar. “I’ll pick up that guitar of yours and strum really clumsily.”
“Don’t touch Shr-” He stopped himself before he revealed he had named his guitar.
It was already too late, you knew him enough to know he always finished his sentences.
“Oh my god, what were you going to say? Did you name your guitar?” you beamed at him with the most magnificent smile and he couldn’t resist letting you in on a little secret, even if it meant you could mock him relentlessly.
“Shred Zeppelin,” he admitted, his voice low.
You started laughing and you seemed way too delighted with that piece of information. “I can’t believe you named your guitar.”
He raised his eyebrows knowingly, recalling what you had told him under the effects of tequila. “You don’t get to judge me, Y/N. You told me while you were passed out drunk that you named your vibrator Sir Wobbly.”
Your cheeks reddened instantly, and Aaron had to repress the bout of laughter that threatened to take over his body when he saw you try to glare at him.
Aaron generally let you work in his office alongside him and there was often mild teasing involved, but the door always remained open for very valid ethical reasons. Whenever the conversation drifted to something less appropriate, Aaron was grateful his office was tucked away in a small corner of the building where people didn’t often pass by, and as long as the door remained open, Aaron didn’t fear what could happen.
You were often sharing meals together whenever you worked and Aaron valued your company a lot. He wouldn’t admit it, but ever since you had entered his life more regularly, he felt a lot less lonely.
Sure, he had David’s friendship, but it was oftentimes a very superficial bond since David was his colleague first and foremost. You, on the other hand, you were the first real friend he’d had in a long time.
Aaron always found it difficult to decline your invitations to join you for dinner after spending hours working together, but over the course of the past few weeks, he had grown accustomed to eating with Ethel staring at him because you always insisted on never being by yourself with him, and Aaron surmised that your reasons were similar to his own reasons for keeping his office door open.
Naturally, this meant that he frequently left your apartment at the same time as Ethel, and she routinely gave him a stern but comprehending look.
Tonight was not different in that regard.
“Her birthday is coming up. I know she won’t tell you, but I thought you should know,” Ethel explained.
Aaron nodded, agreeing with Ethel’s statement. “Hypothetically, if I were to buy her a gift, would you mind putting it in her apartment?”
“That depends entirely on your real intentions, my dear.”
“I assure you I mean well, Ethel.”
Ethel gestured him towards her apartment and Aaron followed her inside, deepening his frown to try and guess what she wanted. He often talked to her alone, she was a nice person and he enjoyed her company, but he knew Ethel was incredibly protective when it came to you.
“Look, it’s none of my business and she would tell me that much, but don’t be a part of her life if you don’t intend to stay. If it’s a fling you want, Y/N doesn’t know how to do those. If you make her fall for you, be ready to catch her. She’s had her fair share of suffering, and she shouldn’t have to tolerate your indecisiveness.”
“Assuming she ever forgives me for what happened-” he started.
Ethel chuckled and it reminded him of his mom and how she used to laugh, too. He tried not to think too much about that.
“Funny. She said the same thing about whatever it is that happened.”
“No. She worships you, dear. I don’t think she wants me to know because she wants to make sure my perception of either of you isn’t tainted. Unfortunately for my curious nature, it means she won’t tell me what happened.”
Aaron had a newfound appreciation for you because you always had his best interests in mind, even after what he had done. He could only try and be strong enough to keep your best interests in mind in return.
“She’s the best person I’ve ever known,” he admitted, still trying to understand why you even wanted to be his friend.
Ethel offered him tea and Aaron knew he had to go relieve Jessica soon, but he accepted her offer nonetheless.
“You know, she has high praises for you. She talks about you all the time. I think Y/N just needs to know she’s not doing anything to jeopardize your career or that she’s not overstepping your boundaries.”
Aaron sipped on his tea, wondering why you still thought so highly of him.
“Suppositionally, and between you and me, Y/N is significantly more important than any career. That’s how I know she deserves more than what I could potentially offer.”
Ethel put a hand on top of his, getting his attention.
“Don’t you think you should let Y/N make that decision for herself?”
Aaron shook his head in defeat. Ethel seemed like the kind of person who would listen to things in confidence so he took a deep breath. “I want her to be happy more than I care about what I want. I want her to get the future she deserves,” he admitted, although it pained him to say it. You were younger, you had your whole life ahead of you. You deserved to have the life you wanted.
“You’re better than most men I know if you worry about what she deserves, honey.”
“I'm not so sure about that,” he replied.
“Why do you think she’s better off without you in her future?”
Aaron looked down at the cup of tea in his hands and he sighed deeply, admitting the truth to the pale liquid. “I’m not good enough for her. I want to be, but I don’t think I ever will be.”
“I think you’re forgetting an important detail in all that self-hate, dear.”
Aaron met Ethel’s eye and she seemed empathetic towards his predicament.
“Am I?” he asked, unsure. What could he possibly be forgetting?
“She likes you, and if Y/N likes you, it means you can’t be a horrible person. She knows how to read people all too well. She wouldn't let you be a part of her life if you weren’t fundamentally good.”
Aaron tried to believe Ethel. Then he thought about her comment about you reading people well and he thought about you flinching in the coffee shop.
“What happened to her? Why does she recoil when someone walks up behind her?”
Ethel pursed her lips, shaking her head. “I think she should be the one telling you about that. But don’t worry. I’ll put your gift inside her apartment when you bring it to me.”
Aaron took that as his cue to leave, his cup of tea empty. “Thank you, Ethel.”
Aaron didn’t look long for a gift idea that night. He knew what to get you and hopefully you would just accept his gift without making a big deal about it. Friends could act generously and give nice presents that also happened to be practical for your day-to-day activities, your job, and your graduate school projects.
The next day, Aaron dropped by your apartment complex when he knew you were at work with the new laptop he had gotten for you this morning. He knocked on Ethel's door and handed her the wrapped present and the envelope containing the card that he had spent time crafting with Jack this morning. Jack wanted to thank you for the pun-filled book, so he allowed Jack to add his personal touch to the handmade card. Aaron scrawled a few things in there as well. Aaron allowed Jack to participate in the making of the card since he knew you loved kids and because Jack had insisted you deserved flowers as he drew some on the card Aaron had left unattended.
He went to work after swinging by Ethel's and he was completely absorbed in Sylvia Plath's writings when he heard his office door shut. As he turned around in his chair, he saw you stood directly in front of him, clearly annoyed with him.
“Aaron whatever your middle name is Hotchner, are you fucking insane? What the fuck? Why would you buy me a laptop? Have you completely lost it? In what world do friends give each other the most considerate and thoughtful gifts ever? In what fucking universe did you think this was okay? It’s way too much. It’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me but it’s also absolutely crazy. Why the hell would you buy me a laptop? Have you lost your marbles entirely?” You weren’t screaming for which he was grateful, but you looked exasperated and Aaron got up to put his hands on your shoulders hoping to stop you from rambling. It didn’t work. “How the hell can you explain giving this to me?”
This time, he squeezed your shoulders firmly, finally getting you to meet his eye. “Shut up.”
“Excuse me?”
Aaron rested his hands on your upper arms, finding your anger as attractive as the rest of you. How he wanted to shut you up in unethical ways when you rambled.
“Shut it. Just say thank you and move on,” he demanded.
You looked down and you sighed heavily, putting a hand on his chest and Aaron tried not to think of how good it felt to have your hand on him again.
“Aaron.”
He chuckled, hoping to make light of the situation. “Honestly, if I had known that’s all it took to get you to call me Aaron, I would have done it sooner,” he joked.
You looked back up, meeting his eye and you finally smiled at him. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t,” he replied, smiling back.
“Fine. If you want me to say thank you, you’re going to accept a fucking hug, okay?”
He nodded in approval. “Yes, ma’am.”
You put your arms around his waist and Aaron let himself relax into the hug as soon as he felt the side of your face resting against his chest. He put his arms around your shoulders and he breathed slowly, resting his chin on the top of your head.
This was worth a thousand laptops if it meant it ended with your arms around him and your body pressed against his.
You blended with his body as though you belonged there and were meant to be pressed against him. Even though he adored having you close to him, he attempted to push his feelings aside since he didn't want to stain this moment with intrusive thoughts about how your body felt perfect against his.
“Thank you,” you said with a calm voice.
He moved a little to stare into your lovely eyes as he voiced it, “Happy birthday, Y/N.”
“Thank you, you complete dim-witted but absolutely amazing jackass.”
Aaron gazed admiringly at your beautiful lips as you grinned at him. “Shut it,” he ordered again, pulling you back against his chest. He was greedy, he couldn’t let go yet. He yearned for more.
“How’d you like the card?” he asked, picking up on the scent of your shampoo.
“I loved it. I put it on my fridge. Could you thank Jack for me?”
He allowed you to move away when you tried to, but he missed your warmth instantly. Aaron wanted to feel you against him in each and every possible manner despite knowing he had no right to think about you that way. Even when you merely intended to give him a warm friendly hug, he craved your proximity in other ways.
He remembered he was supposed to invite you to his place at the mention of his son’s name. “Maybe you should thank him yourself. Come over to my place tonight for once. I feel bad for all the food Ethel and you have offered me and I’d like to cook for you for your birthday.”
You appeared perplexed for a split second but then you smiled and he knew you were already in. “Are you inviting me or are you inviting me and Ethel?”
“I would expect you both to join Jack and me.”
You picked up the framed picture of him and Jack on his desk and you looked at it affectionately. “So you want me to meet your son who seems to have the most adorable toothy grin I’ve ever seen… Are you trying to weaken my defenses, Aaron?”
He shook his head, lifting his hands in front of him to convey he meant his words, “I’ll be on my best behavior, I promise. Besides, what could go wrong if Ethel and Jack supervise?”
“I guess you’re right. I’ll extend your invitation to Ethel then. Will you email me your address?”
Aaron nodded, knowing that Ethel had already accepted. You left his office and Aaron set to go home, hoping to have enough time to drop by the grocery store. He had asked for Ethel’s chicken casserole recipe as he dropped off the laptop to make sure to cook something you loved. He had heard you praise that meal several times and he wanted to do something nice for you. He didn't bake quite as well as you did though, so he decided to pick up a cake on the way home.
When you entered his house with a bottle of wine and another book full of puns for Jack, he knew immediately his son would love you. You introduced yourself to Jack with a funny pun and Jack giggled as soon as you sat with him to read a few puns together. Aaron watched you from the kitchen with Jack and Ethel eventually joined him to help him cook her recipe.
“She’s good with kids.”
“Looks like it,” he conceded, risking another glance in your direction. He felt warm all over again as he watched you laugh with Jack.
You and Jack seemed thick as thieves from the moment you entered his house and he was glad his son could share incredibly bad puns with someone who enjoyed them as well.
Aaron opened the bottle of wine you brought and offered you a glass as he heard you read some more puns with Jack, and you gave him the most heartwarming smile when you thanked him for the glass of wine he put into your hands.
He resumed his work in the kitchen, putting the casserole in the oven in record time with Ethel’s help.
You seemed able to recognize the dish by smell alone and Aaron watched you trod into the kitchen beaming, Jack in tow.
“It smells good, daddy,” Jack said.
“We’re having one of Y/N’s favorite meals,” Ethel said, a smile on her face.
“You hungry, buddy?” Aaron asked Jack.
“Yes!”
Aaron got to eye-level with Jack and he smiled at his son. “Let’s go wash our hands, okay?”
Jack nodded and everyone washed their hands before taking a seat at the table. Aaron made sure to refill your glass of wine every time he saw it emptied and he cherished the feeling of having people sitting around his dinner table for once. He often ate at the counter with Jack and Jessica, so this was a welcomed change.
Aaron loved listening to Jack and you go back and forth on the best puns, the best superheroes and the best villains. He admired how effortless it was for you to bond with his son.
Jack eventually asked to go play on his X-Box and Aaron agreed since there were people around. He didn't usually allow it on a weekday but it couldn't hurt while he did the dishes. Ethel seemed to listen intently as Jack showed her how to play a racing game on his X-Box and Aaron was left doing the dishes with you who had insisted on doing them with him.
He would protest that you shouldn't do this on your birthday of all days, but he liked spending time alone with you. You didn't let him wash anything, claiming that he had better hands to dry things off and it made him happy to find out about some more of your particular quirks. He made a mental note that you preferred washing the dishes rather than drying them off.
You made quick work of everything together and Aaron opted to smear some frosting from the cake on your face before he would call out to Ethel and Jack to join you. He loved seeing you riled up a little.
You licked his finger clean as soon as you caught his hand and Aaron knew you didn’t mean for it to become something but he instantly felt himself twitch in his trousers, his breath catching in his throat. He knew what your tongue felt like in his mouth, he recalled that detail incredibly well. But Aaron loved how it felt around his finger right now and when you looked up at him with enlarged pupils, he had to remove his finger from your mouth before he wondered what your tongue would be like around his rapidly hardening dick.
“Y/N,” he tried to warn you but you put your arms around his waist and his head spun, his blood rushing south even more, with his son and Ethel in the next room.
Your arms went around his neck and when he felt your fingers playing with the bottom of his hair, he closed his eyes, hoping to memorize how wonderful this felt.
“Thank you again for everything.”
Aaron opened his eyes again and he gazed into yours. He recognized the same desire he was suppressing looking back at him. He leaned down and he tasted the frosting he had smeared on your face, licking it away. Your hands came to grip his shirt tightly, pulling him closer even if you were already pressed against him. He could feel you breathing more heavily against him and he felt you tightening your grip before you put your arms around his waist again.
Your eyes spoke volumes about what you wanted and Aaron's jaw clenched as he looked down at you, his own desire warring with his sense of responsibility. “I can't,” he said finally, his voice barely more than a whisper. “We can't risk your future like this. I wouldn’t forgive myself if I ruined your chances of having the career you deserve.”
He tried to move away, especially since you could surely feel his erection, but you held on firmly.
“When are you going to believe me when I tell you I don’t care about any of that?”
Aaron shook his head. “You deserve better.”
“That’s not for you to decide, Aaron.”
“One of us has to be reasonable,” he clarified.
“Aaron, I’d pick you, okay? Reasonable or not. I think you’re amazing and I’m rarely wrong when it comes to knowing what is in people’s hearts. You’re a good man.”
“I’m not, though. If you knew-”
You interrupted him with a hand cupping on his cheek, searching his eyes. “What could you possibly have done that was so terrible that you think you’re not worthy of having someone in your life?”
Aaron knew he was at a crossroads. He wouldn’t voluntarily hurt you if he could help it, but he knew that he needed to be straightforward now, especially if it meant protecting you from him.
“Do you really want to know?”
“Yes.”
Aaron picked you up and made you sit on the counter, hiding behind you so if Ethel or Jack looked in your direction, they wouldn’t think anything was amiss just by the look on his face.
“You know I was married.”
“Yes.”
Aaron breathed in and out, glancing towards Ethel and Jack who seemed completely engrossed in their racing competition. He hid behind you again. Thankfully, his desire subsided as he thought about how to explain he didn't deserve you.
Even if this meant losing you, he realized he had to tell you the truth. He owed you that much. “Haley… When she was… She didn’t have a lot of moments of clarity at the end. She was fading away before my eyes. I knew she didn’t love me anymore, but I stood by her.”
“What happened?” you asked, as soft as ever.
Aaron felt tears well up his eyes, but he soldiered on. “Cancer. It took over her entire body. But I stayed because in sickness and in health, right?”
“Did you still love her?”
Aaron shrugged; not even sure he had the answer to that now. “I don’t know. I think we both cared about each other deeply, but we weren’t really-”
“You thought staying with her was what you needed to do for Jack,” you whispered and Aaron knew you were trying to keep this conversation as private as possible.
Aaron nodded, tears wetting his cheeks. “Yes. So much for loyalty... When she was in palliative care at the hospital because I couldn’t care for her and her-” he paused, needing to breathe through the next words, “Her boyfriend showed up at the hospital when she-” he paused again, recalling how he drove that guy away with the nastiest words he could muster under the weight of his guilt for not having been better at loving Haley. “I didn’t let him see her. She was dying, but I was too selfish to let him in. I wanted to have her last goodbye. I wanted Jack and I to be the last faces she saw.”
He couldn’t look at you, he couldn’t face you. You were the sweetest and kindest human being he had ever met, and he knew without a doubt that this would change things.
“Aaron, oh my god,” you whispered, and your voice trembled. Aaron tried to breathe through his silent panic because he was sure he was about to lose you for good.
“I’m not a good man, Y/N. I told you I was selfish the first time we spoke.”
He felt your legs come around his waist, pulling him towards you gently. “You’re not selfish, Aaron. You’re just human.”
He looked up and he was surprised to see you look at him with the same affection as before.
“But I-"
You put a hand on his chest and suddenly all he could focus on was your hand in the middle of his chest. “Listen to me, okay?”
He nodded, watching your small hand in the middle of his chest. He debated putting his hand on top of yours to center himself.
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Aaron.”
He shook his head in defeat. “She deserved to say goodbye to him.”
“Maybe. I don’t know. I don’t think I would have dealt with this any differently and that should tell you what you need to know about what you did,” you replied, your voice as quiet and as soft as it was before.
He didn’t deserve you. He knew it without a doubt.
“Why do you only see the good in me?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Aaron tried to hide his tears from you, afraid to show you he was vulnerable, but you didn’t seem to mind that he was crying.
“Your wife cheated on you for I don’t know how long. It sucks that she battled cancer and it sucks that she died, Aaron, but your wife broke her vows and you stood by her through what I can only assume was the most damaging and harmful part of your relationship with her precisely because you’re a good man.”
He wasn’t a good man and he didn’t know how else to tell you. “I had to stay. I made her a promise. Even if she hurt me, even if I hurt her, even if we weren't- I had to stay.”
“And yet I know you still don’t make her out to be the bad guy for Jack’s sake. Can you see why I think you’re a good person?”
“I made a mistake by not letting him see her.”
Aaron felt your hands on his face and everything else faded. His pain, his grief, his unresolved anger, his guilt, his remorse; they all just vanished the second your soft hands cupped his cheeks, your gentle thumbs swiping away his tears.
“We all make mistakes, Aaron. We’re all human. Even you.”
He wasn’t strong enough to walk away and he hugged you firmly, not knowing what else to do. He breathed easier when your arms went around his neck, feeling you sigh in relief into the warm embrace you were sharing. From your spot on the counter, Aaron could feel your head resting on his shoulder and he decided he could memorize the scent of your shampoo because it would certainly help to calm him whenever he doubted himself again.
With just a hug from you at his most vulnerable, he started to feel whole again. His body trembled as he felt you lift his sorrow and his guilt from his shoulders, hoping for once that he was actually going to heal.
Aaron felt little hands tugging on his shirt and he moved away from you, grateful that you had appeased the storm in his head. Jack didn't seem alarmed that his dad was holding on tightly to another woman and he made a mental note to tell Jack you were a friend he would hug.
“I want cake now, daddy,” Jack informed him and it was all it took to shake Aaron back into hosting mode.
He grabbed plates while you cut the cake, and when Ethel started singing you happy birthday, Aaron broke his no-singing rule in front of people other than Jack and he sang along, watching you smile broadly instantly when you heard him join in.
That night, he went to bed feeling more serene than he remembered ever feeling. You made him feel lighter and he was certainly getting used to having you in his life.
He had a restful night of sleep untroubled by guilt or nightmares. He was able to go to work feeling replenished and he even stopped to get you some coffee before class, knowing it wouldn’t be a good idea to bring you coffee but there was also a strong possibility that any two people on campus could get coffee from the coffee shop on campus.
Thankfully, you took it and you were your usual bubbly self in class.
Aaron walked to his office quickly after class, impatient to get to work with you. You were progressing really well with his paper and he could probably send it to the school editors soon.
“You know you have self-destructive tendencies, right?” you asked as soon as you entered his office.
He chuckled dryly. “Ironic coming from you.”
“Is that so?” you asked, clearly teasing.
“Well, yes.”
“You think you can read me that well, huh?”
Aaron sat back confidently. “I know I can.”
“Well, I can read you, too.”
“Can you?” he asked, getting up to tower over you but you were never intimidated by him and he knew you wouldn’t be today either.
“I know most of your micro-expressions by now.”
“Oh yeah?” he prompted.
“Yeah.”
Aaron watched you close the door and he tried to control the pleasure he felt simmering in his lower stomach.
“What does my face tell you right now?”
“You want me to shut up. But you’re thinking of ways to shut me up that aren’t strictly appropriate, at least not between friends.”
He cleared his throat, taken aback by your astute observation. “Maybe you’re right.” He went back to his chair, hoping to calm himself down enough to avoid getting an erection and he focused on his laptop, glancing over his notes. “Alright, let’s focus. We need to cover sexual dysfunctions.”
“Anything you want to tell me, Aaron?”
“Is that a dig?” He raised his eyebrows, daring you to address it.
“I was trying to be funny.”
Aaron scoffed. “You and I both know I’m good in that department.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” you asked with a huge smile.
“You brought it up, Y/N.”
“Fine. But for the record, if anyone brought something up, it was you.”
Aaron looked up at you to find you biting your lip and he knew instantly you were trying to make a joke. “That was the worst joke I’ve ever heard.” He chuckled because he was amazed that you always found a way to make him laugh regardless of your poor ability to make jokes.
“You still laughed.”
“I like you enough to laugh at your bad jokes, even when they remind me that you have felt me like that.”
Your eyes darkened and you smirked. “Do you want to talk about your dick? Let’s talk about your dick.”
Aaron was helpless. He tried to focus and breathe through the arousal, but hearing you talk about his dick made him throb in need.
“No.”
Aaron observed as you turned on your brand-new laptop and he was fully aware that you faked reading something on it.
“One of the four sexual dysfunctions is erectile insufficiency. Care to elaborate?”
Aaron maintained the most serious expression he could muster considering he was incredibly aroused. “It’s also called impotence. When no alcohol or drugs are involved, this would be defined as the difficulty to obtain or maintain an erection.” He knew his voice probably betrayed he was aroused but you would have to be very observant to know that and you couldn’t see his tented slacks because his desk hid what needed to be hidden.
You smirked again and Aaron was breathless.
“You’re right. You don’t suffer from that.”
“Shut up,” he urged you.
“Now how about premature ejaculation?”
“Y/N.”
“Well, I wouldn’t know. We never finished what we started. What about retarded ejaculation? Do you have any difficulty or a failure to ejaculate, Aaron?” Your sultry voice turned him on even more and you seemed to know you were having that effect on him which only made it worse.
Aaron glared at you but his breathing was too shallow for him to even try to appear intimidating.
“Y/N. Please, shut up.”
“What about conditional erections or ejaculations?” you asked, smirking even wider.
Aaron refrained from palming his erection only because you were there. He felt himself positively twitch every time you spoke.
“You really don’t know when to shut up, do you?”
You cocked your head to the side, licking your lips and Aaron couldn’t look anywhere else. “I was rather hoping you’d find the courage to shut me up before I listed all of them.”
Aaron shook his head before admitting one of his flaws out loud. “I don’t like leaving things unfinished, you know.”
“Do you want to prove me that you don’t suffer from any sexual dysfunctions?” you teased.
Aaron felt himself harden even more and it was almost painful not to relieve the pressure. “Stop talking.”
You grabbed his hand on his desk and Aaron shut his eyes, trying to focus on anything else. He could only think about your tongue around his finger last night and he tried to calm down before he came untouched in his pants at the thought of you, right in front of you.
“Are you turned on?”
Aaron rolled his chair even further under his desk and he glared at you more threateningly this time. “Shut up. You’re grasping at straws.”
“You really like telling me to shut up, don’t you?” you paused, coming to face him and Aaron decidedly did not want you to see his tented slacks. He didn’t turn his chair towards you as you stood next to him. “I know you’re hard right now, Aaron.”
Aaron relented because he knew you knew. “Whose fault is that?” he asked flatly, avoiding your gaze.
“I can help you with that, you know,” you suggested, your tone husky.
Aaron wasn’t good at controlling himself around you, but he recalled how last time had played out in his office and he would rather not ever hurt you again, even if it meant his blood circulation was cut off for being hard for too long.
“We really should wait until I’m not your professor anymore,” he reasoned with his last resolve.
You grabbed his tie, bringing his face towards you forcefully. “Jesus fucking Christ, Aaron. We could be subtle. We could do this. We both know it’s going to happen eventually. Get there faster, okay?”
Aaron was too focused on your face and your lips to focus. “Sorry?”
You cupped his cheek tenderly and Aaron wasn’t sure he deserved tenderness at all.
“It hurts to wait, Aaron. We could be something. We should be something.”
He looked down, afraid to face you. “I’m scared.”
You chuckled dryly. “Well, doofus, so am I. But you’re worth being scared. So you make sure that next time you touch me, next time you hug me, next time you kiss me, next time you let me feel how hard you are for me, you mean it. Because I won’t survive you if you don’t mean it next time.”
You gathered your things and you left his office without another word, and Aaron knew without a doubt that he couldn’t wait, that he was done being principled and virtuous. He waited for his erection to subside and he ran after you, but you weren’t at your apartment when he knocked on your door. He knocked relentlessly, hoping you were just away rather than actively deciding not to let him in.
"Please, Y/N," he pleaded and he didn't hear movement.
Ethel opened her door and Aaron looked at her, a bit desperate.
“She’s running a few errands for me. She’ll be back soon,” Ethel explained.
Aaron nodded and propped himself up near the wall. “Thank you, Ethel.”
“Want some tea?”
Aaron considered it but he realized it would probably calm him down to talk to Ethel. “Sure, thank you.”
Aaron sat at Ethel’s kitchen table and he thanked her when she handed him a cup of tea.
“So, why were you banging on Y/N’s door?” she asked, smirking knowingly. Ethel had figured him out very early on and she never teased him about his feelings for you, instead she offered him a listening ear he wasn't sure he deserved.
Aaron realized as he made eye-contact with Ethel that he was probably doing something impulsive by being here in the first place. “Spur of the moment thing. I’m starting to realize that maybe it would be best if I just went home.”
“Let me ask you one thing before you decide if you should leave. Do you love her?”
Aaron shrugged and he looked down at the warm mug in his hands, but it didn’t offer him an answer. “I don’t know.”
“What do you know?” Ethel asked, her tone far from accusatory.
Aaron kept his eyes on his tea. “I just know that when she puts her hands on my face, the room fades away. When she puts her arms around me, the world doesn’t matter and when she puts a hand on my chest, everything is just… quiet.”
Ethel chuckled and Aaron looked up.
“Hold on to that, dear. The rest doesn’t matter. In the end, do you want to look back on your life and wonder why you let the purest connection you’ve ever had just walk away because you were scared?”
“I-” he started but Ethel shook her head, stopping him from trying to justify his choices.
“No, listen, I know it’s scary. Especially because you care about her. But Y/N, she doesn’t care about the consequences and she’s a grown woman capable of making her own decisions. So you listen to her when she tells you she’s fine with it, you listen to her when she assures you you’re worth it, okay?”
Aaron nodded, admitting Ethel was right.
You were clever, you were thoughtful, and you were certainly rational. He knew all of that and yet, you pursued him because for some reason he couldn’t fathom, you seemed to want him. Aaron thought about last night, he thought about earlier in his office and he was sure of one thing, he couldn’t let you walk away. Not this time.
“I think I do, you know,” he confessed, his voice eerily quiet.
“What?”
“I think I do love her,” Aaron reiterated, louder this time.
Ethel laughed, clearly amused by the whole ordeal. “Oh, darling, I know that.”
“Isn’t it too soon?” he asked, wondering if it was actually possible to feel like this about you.
“You know, I married my late husband after three months, dear. When you know, you know. Timing, society’s standards, they don’t matter. When you meet the right person for you, you just know. My husband often said that we were soulmates, and he was a romantic fool, my Alfred, but you know what? He often said that your soulmate is the stranger you recognize from the start.”
Aaron shook his head, a bit lost in what he felt, a bit high on adrenaline at the thought of what could happen now that he would actually try to earn you.
“I don’t believe in soulmates,” he revealed, hoping Ethel wouldn’t kick him out for not being a romantic fool like her late husband Alfred.
“Neither does she, you know. But I do think you were meant to find each other. I've seen you two together, darling. I don't doubt that you are supposed to be together, so who cares about the rest? It’s not ideal. It won’t ever be. But if she’s worth it, if you love her, you go knock on her door the second she’s home, Aaron.”
Aaron smiled at her, grateful for the pep talk. “Yes, ma’am.”
Aaron stayed and chatted with Ethel about her late husband Alfred, about her kids in Australia and about anything he could find to keep his mind off you and the stress it caused him to be on the verge of finally admitting his feelings out loud.
Ethel and he listened closely for the sound of your key in the door and when he was sure you were home, he readied himself, adjusting his tie for courage and he went knocking.
“Aaron? What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to go home to Jack? What? How-"
He grabbed your face, finally shutting you up the way he had been wanting to. He captured your lips, sealing his on yours, and he felt a bit panicked until you started kissing him back, completely melting into his embrace. Your knees buckled and he held you up, but his own knees seemed to give up as well. He tried to remain upright, but he knew right now that being weak with you was a sign of strength. It meant fear didn’t win and it wouldn’t win. He wouldn’t let it win. He was done being scared. He was done questioning whether he deserved you.
He held you tightly against him, not letting you move away from the kiss until you would both need air. When you gasped into his mouth, he let you move away reluctantly but he kept his hands on your face, staring into your eyes, finding nothing but adoration staring back at him.
“I just thought you should know I’m done waiting. I’m done being scared.”
Aaron smiled when you pulled on his tie, bringing him inside your apartment without hesitation. You removed his tie almost instantly and he kissed you again in the safety of your apartment. He felt your hands starting to unbutton his shirt and he loved how your fingers teased his skin as you did, making him groan loudly inside your mouth.
“Eager, are we?” he teased.
“Shut up,” you replied, kissing him back hungrily.
Aaron smiled into the kiss and he let you unbutton his shirt without another word. Your hands came to rest on his warm skin and he was already panting. He looked at you, making sure you were fine with all of this.
“Do you want this?” he asked, checking one last time.
“More than I can ever begin to explain,” you replied, trailing your fingers up and down his chest, raising the most delicious goosebumps he had ever felt.
Aaron let you bring him to your couch and he sat down, looking at you standing before him.
You looked at him like he was your whole world and Aaron decided in that instant he would never get enough of that. You maintained eye-contact as you discarded your shirt and Aaron smiled when you took off your bra, incredibly aware that you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Aaron was hard earlier in his office, but nothing had prepared him for this. This was new territory, the prospect of having sex with you. His imagination never did you justice.
He twitched in his pants and he went to palm himself just to relieve the pressure he had been feeling since earlier in his office, but you swatted his hand away, straddling his lap swiftly.
Aaron put his hands on your waist, gripping your hips way more forcefully than he needed to, almost to make sure that this was real, that this was happening and that you weren’t about to leave. Your hands came to rest on his chest and you rolled your hips on top of him. Aaron grunted, loving the friction of your clothed cores meeting. He groaned as you started moving rhythmically and he was fearful he would shoot up in his pants before he could even get you naked.
He gripped your hips tightly, knowing he would leave bruises if he kept this up. He liked the idea of marking your body, leaving a trail of proofs that he was here and as soon as the thought entered his head, he had to lean towards you and kiss your neck, sucking on your pulse point in the same way he had done the first time, hoping to elicit a moan from you.
He sucked harshly and when you moaned and grinded your hips harder onto him, Aaron sucked even more roughly, knowing there would be evidence on your skin soon enough. He heard you moan again and he decided to grab your boobs gently, bringing his mouth towards one of them and licking and sucking until you were a panting mess on top of him. He started trailing kisses down your neck, biting your skin gently when he realized you liked the soft and rough sides of him equally.
Aaron went back to grabbing your boobs and kissing and sucking onto your nipples, and he realized belatedly that he was being a bit rougher than he would usually be, but you moaned louder every time he sucked harder on your skin and he had to start rutting against you because of course you would like it a bit rougher when he needed it to be a bit rougher. He wanted to be gentle though, he wanted to take his time and he wanted to be a gentleman.
You slipped a bit as you moved on top of him, making you ride his hard thigh now and Aaron watched you chase some friction on his thigh, completely lost and chasing your own pleasure. It was the hottest thing he had ever seen but he needed more and he needed you. He grabbed you, resetting you on top of his clothed cock and he cupped your face, making sure you were focused on him.
“Can I touch you?” he asked, one of his hands tracing its way down your face to your breasts, down to your stomach, making you gasp on top of him.
“Please do,” you whimpered, and Aaron unbuttoned the top of your jeans before unzipping them just enough to get his hand inside them.
He felt your lacy underwear already damp and he had to refrain from thrusting up against you because Aaron loved knowing you were already wet for him and he moved your panties out of the way just enough to get a finger on your clit.
You moved your hips against his finger as soon as he started flicking your clit and Aaron gripped your hip, stopping you.
“Let me take care of you, angel, don’t move,” he demanded as softly as he could and he saw you bite your lip before nodding in approval.
Aaron played with your clit again, hearing you whine on top of him and he leaned forward to capture one of your breasts into his mouth again. He sucked on your nipple, nipping on it and sucking on it again. He established a relentless pace with his finger on your clit, keeping his mouth on your breasts and before he knew it, you were whimpering and thrashing against his clothed erection, making it hard for him to focus on you.
Aaron groaned loudly against your nipple as he felt you rub against him, loving how delicious the friction was but he sped up his finger on your clit before he lost his entire focus and you came without warning, your moans filling up the entire apartment. Aaron hoped to God that there was good soundproofing because otherwise Ethel knew for sure he was done messing around. He held you through your orgasm and when you grabbed his chin to kiss him, he moved his finger from your clit so he could put it inside you, feeling just how wet you were.
“Aaron, fuck.”
He removed his finger from inside your pants and he kissed you again, letting his tongue meet yours inside your mouth. He lazily kissed you before realizing he just had to taste you. He stopped the kiss and he looked at you before putting his finger inside his mouth, realizing that he had been right and you were as sweet as he knew you would be.
“Beautiful, delicious,” he muttered, a smile on his face.
“Aaron, please,” you pleaded, and Aaron figured you needed him just as bad as he needed you, but he wanted to deserve you, he wanted to earn you and he would work for it before he took you.
“Get naked and show me how you thought I would be pleasuring you,” he said, his tone not leaving you with a choice.
You got up and Aaron watched you remove your pants and panties, taking in the sight of you. You offered him your hand and Aaron took it, following you to your bedroom.
You went to lie down and Aaron stopped you in your tracks. “Where’s Sir Wobbly?”
You chuckled, but it didn’t mask your confusion. Aaron knew what it looked like on your face by now. “What? Why?”
“He’s going to help me out to make sure we give you what you deserve,” he explained.
Aaron loved that you smiled at him without shame and when you reached for your bedside table, getting out your massage wand from the drawer, Aaron had to palm himself a little before he lost all sensation in his dick. He was throbbing but he would focus on you first and foremost.
You offered him your wand and Aaron shook his head.
“Aaron, please,” you pleaded once more, and Aaron smirked as he witnessed how eager you were.
“Show me,” he ordered.
Aaron sat and watched as you powered it on without arguing and he stared at your pussy as you put it right at your center, moaning and thrashing against it as soon as you played with the controls to make it pleasure you faster.
Aaron lay down on his stomach and he put a finger inside you, unable to resist. He needed to know how warm and wet you were again.
“Aaron, fucking hell!” you shouted, and Aaron chuckled, feeling you clench around his finger as you came for the second time already.
You were clearly in need of relief and Aaron was more than happy to oblige.
He took the wand away and he spread your legs even more before using his hand and fingers to spread your lips apart. Aaron looked up to see you staring back at him, pleasure written across your beautiful features.
“May I, angel?”
Aaron watched you nod enthusiastically, and it was all he needed to suck on your clit harshly, driving two fingers inside you, working out a rhythm with his mouth and tongue. He kissed your clit softly each time he felt you start shaking, wanting this to last, wanting to feel you explode on his face, in his mouth.
“Aaron, I’m so close, please, baby,” you whined.
Aaron didn’t recall ever being called ‘baby’ before. It made his heart swell in his chest and he was determined to let you come this time as he felt you near your orgasm. He sucked on your clit and he added another finger to thrust deeper inside you, hoping to stretch you well so you’d be able to take him and he loved that he made your thighs shake violently. He loved that he made your toes curl and your walls clench around his fingers surprisingly fast. Aaron watched you come undone, unable not to grunt against your clit as he watched and felt you ride another orgasm, tasting you on his tongue.
Aaron kissed your thighs gently, making his way up to your lips with soft kisses. He didn’t want you to feel overwhelmed unless it was the goal and right now, it wasn’t. He finally kissed your lips again and you instantly kissed him back passionately, your fingertips dancing on his bare chest again. He realized he was still wearing his clothes almost at the same time as he realized that he was still painfully hard.
Aaron cupped your face, checking you were still doing okay, surveying your features and your eyes.
“All good?”
“Better than ever,” you replied with a lazy smile, and Aaron grinned in return, going back to kiss you softly.
You started chuckling into the kiss and Aaron pulled back, looking at you questioningly. “What?”
“I think it’s about time you remove that shield of yours.”
Aaron scoffed and got up, knowing he didn’t need to hide behind his suits whenever you were there. You grounded him enough to make him feel absolutely safe. He started to remove his clothes but you got up to help him, making him feel surer about the shedding of his armor. Your soft hands caressed his skin and he knew without a doubt he wouldn’t ever be able to walk away now. He knew he wouldn’t be scared of anything anymore if it meant he had you. He watched his suit on the floor and he watched you take in the sight of him with utter admiration.
Before he knew what was happening, you dropped to your knees before him and Aaron felt you suck on the tip of his cock just the way he liked it. He grabbed your hair, pulling your mouth ever closer to his groin. He thrusted inside your mouth, hitting the back of your throat, feeling you swallow around him. You moaned around him every time he pushed inside further and he was already impressed with you as a whole, but you were a miracle in and of itself.
“Fuck, angel, that’s good,” he groaned, gritting his teeth. He didn't know how you knew just how to pleasure him, but he loved your mouth on him and he loved your tongue teasing his tip. He watched you, your eyes watering as you sucked on him and he kept his hand steady in your hair. He felt his balls tighten and he had to stop you remarkably fast before it was over. “I don’t want to come like this. I’m too close.”
You smiled at him and he knew you were enjoying yourself. The sight of you taking in his cock inside your mouth so well and sucking on him adeptly would fuel every fantasy he would ever have again.
“Oh, I know, baby. You were so hard for me.”
You led him towards your bed again and Aaron followed, kissing you as soon as he was on top of you. He felt your hand on his cock, jerking him off gently and he had to thrust into your fist to relieve some pressure again.
“Where are your condoms?” he asked, knowing a condom would help him last a bit longer.
You moved and grabbed one from your bedside table and when you rolled it onto his dick, Aaron’s eyes rolled back inside his head. You were gentle, kind, sweet, downright marvelous and you were the greatest thing that had ever happened to him and you were able to turn him on even more by putting a condom on him.
Aaron started kissing you again, letting his mouth convey what this all meant to him far better than words ever could. He moaned into the kiss when he felt you kissing back with the same sentiment and he grabbed his dick to line himself up with your entrance.
He sank inside you slowly, letting you adjust to his girth. He let you breathe through it until he was fully inside you, taking a few seconds to commit how good this felt to memory. Burying himself inside you felt better than he could have ever possibly imagined and he just knew that the day when you’d let him bury himself inside you without a condom would be the day he would be irrevocably doomed because there was no way he would ever want someone else. He already couldn’t imagine his life without you in it.
He kissed you again, not letting himself be overwhelmed by everything he felt and he grabbed your leg to move it around his waist, hoping to gain a bit of traction as he started thrusting in and out of you.
“You feel so good, Aaron,” you said, your hands coming to rest around his neck.
Aaron felt your fingers on his nape and in his hair and he groaned instantly. You already knew how to drive him mad, making his every nerve ending feel on fire. Aaron gripped your leg so strongly he knew his digits would be imprinted on it later, but he didn’t care as soon as he heard your long-drawn-out moans resonate around the walls of your bedroom.
You started scratching his back with your fingernails and Aaron was helpless to stop it. He felt his balls draw up and he knew he wouldn’t last. Aaron groaned louder, sealing his noises with your mouth and lazy kisses and he drove into you more forcefully, ashamed that his orgasm was already impending. He looked around and immediately found Sir Wobbly. He picked it up and he put it between you, powering it on to get you to tumble over the edge with him.
You moaned loudly as soon as he placed it where you needed it and Aaron would admit to loving the vibration too. It did wonders for him to see you rendered speechless by pleasure, it was better than any fantasy he had concocted in his head over time.
He thrusted inside you vigorously, knowing you’d be sore but he’d apologize and care for your pussy later. He was setting a nice pace until he saw your face contort with pleasure once more and he started losing his rhythm when he saw you grab your boobs almost violently, making your pussy clench hard around him.
“I’m coming, Aaron,” you whimpered, and Aaron felt one of your hands toying with the wand before the vibration started to feel stronger against his core.
He came without warning with a loud shudder, shooting up inside the condom for what felt like the longest orgasm of his life. He let his entire weight rest on top of you, unable to hold himself up any longer.
“So good for me,” he groaned, his thighs still shaking from the sheer pleasure of sharing an orgasm with you, of sharing this kind of intimacy with you.
You grabbed his face and sealed his lips into another kiss and Aaron kissed you until he started to soften inside you. He never wanted this moment to end.
He shifted a little to remove some weight from on top of you and he saw you wince, realizing you were probably sensitive and already sore.
Aaron slipped out gently, keeping his fingers around the base of his dick and around the condom. He tied it up and he went towards your bathroom, putting it in the bin next to the toilet before trying to find a flannel to bring to you. He wanted to care for you until you didn’t feel sore anymore.
He felt your arms circle his waist and he felt gentle lips place a kiss in the middle of his back before he could find the flannel he wanted to bring you and he turned around, finding you looking at him adoringly.
“Join me in the shower?”
“If I ever say no to that, have me committed,” he joked.
It made you chuckle and Aaron vowed to make you laugh at least once a day because it reminded him that the risks were infinitely worth it if it meant seeing you happy.
He followed you into the shower, loving the warm spray that washed over you both. He felt your arms snake around his waist, so he pulled you in against his chest, resting his chin on top of your head.
“What happened that day?” you asked, your hands soothing his back. He knew you had scratched it thoroughly the second he felt your fingertips smooth over the edges of the marks you had left there.
He smiled at that because he could already see the small bruise on your neck. Your hips and leg would probably have his hands and fingers imprinted on them as well and he was glad that there was evidence of your undeniable chemistry somewhere on your bodies.
Aaron was possessive and he knew it. He knew why he felt compelled to mark you if he could and it brought him an overwhelming sense of peace to know you had done the same to his back because there was no more doubt about it: You were his and he was yours.
He realized you had asked him a question and he focused on you again. “I was an imbecile. I got scared and I let you walk away. I made a terrible mistake.”
“You did,” you replied, but you didn’t sound mad or displeased.
Aaron wondered why you were so neutral about it when he knew he had hurt you that day in his office. He pulled away just to gaze into your eyes but you once again didn’t look accusing, you didn’t look anything but kind.
He kissed your forehead, letting his lips linger there before he uttered against your skin, “Tell me it’s not too late. Tell me I can fix it.”
“There’s nothing to fix. You’re here, aren’t you?”
Aaron felt whole again. It was becoming a habit around you.
“I’m going to be here for as long as you’ll have me,” he replied, leaning down to kiss you again.
“Just promise me something?”
“I’d promise you anything, Y/N.”
“Just- Promise me you won’t leave for my sake. You don’t get to leave me because you think it’s what’s best. Not now and not ever again will you be a self-sacrificing dumbass. I’m a grown woman and I can make my own decisions.”
Aaron looked into your eyes again, cupping your face gently and he hoped you would believe he meant it with all his heart when he said, “I promise, angel.”
How was part 5? Was it everything you dreamed of? ❤️🔥 I'm always scared to write smut but I always write smut anyway.
This is pure filth. I'm joking. There's like 25% of it that is SFW.
Warnings: smut, sexual references, age gap jokes, mentions of past physical abuse, tooth-rotting fluff, bad writing
Pairing: Professor!Hotchner x Student!You (fem!reader)
Note that they're both consenting adults. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.
Word count: 10.3k (Believe it or not, this chapter was meant to be shorter than Part 5)
MINORS DNI - 18+
OFFICIALLY NSFW 👀
“It wasn't exactly love at first sight, it was actually deeper than that. A sense of belonging to a place I never knew I wanted but somehow always needed. It was a home that carried a heartbeat.”
You had found really easy to settle into some kind of relationship beat with Aaron regardless of what a relationship with him could do to your reputation if people found out.
What wasn’t easy was not getting to spend the night with him whenever he came by because he always had to go back home to Jack. You longed to find out what it was like to sleep next to him, to wake up with him and to kiss him first thing in the morning. You knew that this thing you had with him would probably eventually be serious enough for you two to do just that, but you could enjoy the sex fest that your life had become for now.
The other less fun thing to deal with was Chief Bitch. She made it a habit to comment on Aaron’s impeccable ass a lot and while you were not lacking confidence when it came to how solid your connection was, it didn’t mean you liked hearing Chief Bitch express how much she liked watching your… your what?
That’s when it hit you for the first time. What were you to Aaron? Sure, what you felt for one another went beyond physical attraction, you had in fact never even experienced such a deep connection to someone, body and soul, but you hadn’t defined what you were at any point.
You were set on asking him just that when you made your way to his office after his class, but you got distracted by a beautiful leggy brunette coming out of Aaron’s office. You looked at Aaron as you came in and he looked entirely focused on what was in front of him.
“Who was that?” you asked, curious.
You didn’t think it appropriate to feel jealousy, mostly because you had Aaron’s cock hitting the back of your throat as you swallowed his load just this morning as he stopped by your apartment to walk together to class.
It was risky to walk together on campus, but it was early and neither of you thought anyone would make a big deal out of it if they saw you.
“My T.A.”
You took a seat in front of him, getting your laptop out of your bag to work. “I see.”
Aaron looked up and he smiled at you. “Before you overthink this, I should mention you’re just her type,” he explained.
The weight of realization hit you at once. You scoffed because while it hadn’t been all that long, Aaron knew how to read you like a book. He knew you’d overthink any woman who was inside his office because he was a catch, but he didn’t seem to know it.
“Oh.”
He nodded, smirking at you. “Yes.” He got up and closed the door behind you before kneeling next to you. “Also, I think you might have ruined me for other people altogether. It doesn’t even feel right to maintain eye-contact with other women now.”
You caressed his cheek gently, watching him close his eyes in contentment. You grabbed his face with both hands and you kissed his forehead gently before cupping his cheeks again and letting your thumbs run over his smooth skin. Aaron always looked at you like you were the most beautiful person he had ever seen and it made you feel warm and fuzzy inside. You loved being the center of his attention. You kissed his forehead again and Aaron sighed happily, looking up at you with pure adoration.
“I like to think I’m the only one you look at like this,” you said, smiling at him. He had a way of looking at you that often took your breath away and sometimes you even wondered if he could make your heart skip a beat. Yet, he could also make you feel more alive than you ever thought possible.
“You’re the only one worth looking at as far as I’m concerned, angel.” He leaned towards you and you met him halfway, kissing him softly.
Aaron hugged your waist and you let your fingers run through his hair, loving this little moment of peace you were sharing together.
“I feel the same way, Aaron. Unfortunately, Chief Bitch also looks at you.”
“Who?” he asked, moving away to look you in the eye.
“I don’t know her name. Bitchy McBoobs behind me in class.”
Aaron scoffed and he got up again. He went back to his chair and he smiled knowingly. “I haven’t learned her name,” he paused and added, “I guess you could always convince her I’m happily taken. Or tell her I’m your sex toy.”
You scoffed. “If anything, I’m yours.”
“Don’t say that. I was joking. Don’t belittle what you mean to me,” Aaron replied, his tone heavy.
You met his eye, still trying to gauge if he had meant it when he said he wanted you to tell people about this. He looked serious enough to make you wonder.
“You know why we can’t tell anyone about this, though.”
“Do I?” he asked, cocking his head on the side, smiling fully. He looked utterly adorable and seeing his dimples really made you doubt your sanity more often than not. It baffled you that he almost seemed convinced that you could advertise that you were banging your professor without repercussions.
“You know how this would come across if people knew.”
“You’re a grad student, Y/N, and I’m not even grading your things. You’re a grown woman. People wouldn’t question your choices or your motives.”
“No, they’d question yours, Aaron.”
Aaron frowned and he shook his head in confusion. “Why are you protecting me? After everything. Why do you care?”
You sighed. You loved how optimistic he was about you telling people, but you knew you had to bring it down a notch. You couldn’t possibly tell people why he was still your professor. Soon you’d be able to tell, but not now.
“I care about not sabotaging everything you’ve worked for. How do you think it would come across if people knew we started this while you were my professor? We can wait a few more weeks. I don’t want to ruin your reputation.”
He frowned more deeply this time and you hated you were the one who made him so serious. “Do you think I care about my reputation more than I care about you?”
That, you didn’t know. You didn’t even know what you were to him. Were you actually just his sex toy? Well, you didn’t think so. What you had was clearly about more than just sex, but you didn’t know where you stood. You had feelings you couldn't even name for him, but you didn't know always know how he saw this thing you had together.
“Well, I don’t know.”
Aaron got up and he took your hand to lead you to the couch in his office. He faced you as he sat, angling his body towards you and he kept his hand steady in yours, slotting his fingers between yours. You loved feeling his fingers between yours. His hands were huge but somehow, it was a perfect fit.
“I care about you way more than I care about my job, Y/N. I told you. I’m done being scared. But I don’t want to hurt your future. I want you to have the career you deserve. I certainly don’t want your reputation to suffer. So if you don’t want to tell people just yet, I’m fine with that. I don’t want to cause you any more trouble. I just want people to know you’re mine at some point, but I care enough to know I don’t want you to suffer for this.”
“And what’s this?” you asked, gesturing between you two. You hoped he would pick up on the fact that you wanted to define this thing between you.
You saw Aaron swallow a few times before he cleared his throat. “Listen, you’re beautiful, you’re clever, you’re kind, and more importantly, you’re worth every damn sacrifice I might need to make. You’re worth my career if this means my career ends. You make me smile and you make me happy. This isn’t a fling for me and you should know that I don’t do anything halfway.”
“You’re worth it, too, you know,” you replied, a bit emotional. Hearing Aaron voice these things made your heart flutter.
Aaron squeezed your hand tightly and he smoothed his thumb across your knuckles, making you realize just how much you craved the most innocent of touches from him.
“I just want you to know that if at any point you don’t want this anymore, just say the word and I won’t make it hard for you,” he added, his voice low.
You moved a little, just enough to make sure he realized the notion of you leaving him was absurd, even so soon after finally getting together, you knew you wouldn’t leave.
“Why are you telling me this?”
He smiled, cupping your cheek. “Because I’m not a good man, Y/N. I want you even if this could potentially hurt you. So if you don’t feel like this is something you want to do anymore, you tell me and there’ll be no hard feelings,” he paused, smoothing his thumb across your cheek, smiling at you adoringly still, “But if you do want this, then I need to tell you that I feel like I've been in love with you since I first saw you and it scares me because it doesn’t even make sense.”
You started shaking involuntarily because hearing Aaron tell you this was overwhelming and while it didn’t make sense, it was what it was. You had struggled to come to terms with this, too.
“Aaron, I don't know what to say,” you replied, your voice slightly trembling.
“Say that you feel the same way,” Aaron said, his eyes fixed on yours. He wasn’t wondering if you felt the same way, he clearly knew you did. But seeing his eyes well up at the same time as yours did because you both felt overwhelmed by whatever this was made you smile like a proper idiot.
You looked into his dark, intense gaze and he clearly instantly saw the sincerity and vulnerability in yours. “I do, of course I do, Aaron. I feel the same way,” you said, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth once again.
Aaron's eyes lit up, and without hesitation, he leaned in and kissed you. “I’ve never had such an intense--”
You kissed him again, bringing his face close to yours by pulling on his tie. It was strangely useful that he always decided to look so formal. “It scares me to feel so much for you already.”
“It’s scary, but it’s also not that scary, angel.”
“I guess there’s something incredibly soothing about it, but I just—It happened unexpectedly. I didn’t plan on falling for you,” you confessed, a bit breathlessly. You weren’t planning on telling him that just yet, but apparently, he made you feel comfortable enough to share that detail.
“You were unexpected, to say the least. But I am so grateful for unexpected, Y/N.”
You kissed him again but you had to stop before you asked him to bend you over his desk. You had agreed not to take too many risks if possible. Kissing was as far as it was supposed to go in his office.
You thought about inviting him over the way you intended to a few times before this discussion even took place. “Would you mind if we tried to set up something so we could spend an entire night together? I know you have Jack, but I’d really love a few uninterrupted hours with you.”
“To sleep, or-?” he asked, waggling his eyebrows with a huge smirk.
You smirked back. “Well, there would be sleeping, but it wouldn’t be just sleeping.”
Aaron beamed at you, nodding in the process. “I’ll ask Jessica when it would be a good time for her and I’ll get back to you on that.”
You pecked his cheek, kissing his dimple as he smiled. “Thank you.”
You regained your seat in front of his desk and Aaron followed, regaining his chair. You focused on writing a few sections of a paper you had to do for another class and when you were nearly done, you decided to wait for Aaron.
It had become a habit. You came to sit with him to work on your other things if you didn’t have to go to work. The paper you had written with Aaron had been sent to the school editors and you only had to wait and see if they would approve it for publication. Aaron often suggested writing a textbook together and you laughed each time because you were certain it was his idea of a joke. Aaron also suggested writing another paper, but you had to mention to him that you needed to focus on your other classes before you undertook another project. You were entirely lost in thought, daydreaming about Aaron and a life with him while he sat in front of you. You saw it all play out clearly in your head as you thought about him frowning at something he was reading, even years down the road. It was a repetitive gesture you had noticed and it often made you think about sharing a future with him.
“Y/N?”
You heard a small chuckle and it was all it took to bring you back to Earth. “Yes?”
You looked at Aaron and he seemed aware you had been away. “Daydreaming much? Where were you?” he asked softly.
“In a fantasy where you were my… something,” you replied. You thought better of admitting you were envisioning him being your partner in every sense of the word and sharing a whole life with him and Jack.
Aaron offered you a full smile. “You do know you’re my girlfriend, right?”
“Am I?” you asked, a smile creeping up your lips. It was wonderful to hear Aaron say it.
“Jack says you’re my girlfriend.”
“Oh, well, we can’t disagree with one of our sole experts,” you teased, another warm and fuzzy feeling settling in your chest again.
Having Aaron saying that you were his girlfriend did things to you that you didn’t expect. He had been right earlier, though. This wasn’t scary. Well, it was to a degree. But this also felt right in ways it hadn't before him.
“Ethel also implied something like that, you know,” he explained, smirking at you now.
You blushed, knowing Ethel was the least subtle of the two sole experts. “Did she?”
“She inferred I was your 'boo' this morning before I knocked on your door, whatever being your 'boo' means. I concluded it was a good thing.”
You chuckled because it occurred to you that Ethel read a few of his texts to you last night as you baked for her. “I saved you in my phone as ‘My Boo’ so when you text me, no one knows it’s you.”
“Except for Ethel.”
“Right. Don’t send me spicy texts. You’ll give her a heart attack,” you explained.
Aaron scoffed and you could appreciate how fond of him you were once more.
Shortly after that, you returned home and had dinner with Ethel as usual. Aaron called you to bid you goodnight that night. It wasn’t unusual these days, you often called each other before bed and when you started drifting off, you wished he could be here with you again.
Thankfully, Aaron was a man of his word and the following week, he had already organized his things to have a sleepover at your place. He had asked Jessica to be with Jack all weekend which also happened to be the weekend Jack would go visit his grandfather with Jessica. It was actually perfect. You were not only getting one night, but a whole weekend.
You were entirely too eager and impatient on the next Friday as he was set to join you for the weekend. You had vacuumed twice, you had selected over 10 DVDs for you to watch together, you had bought at least six bottles of wine and you had changed at least three times before he knocked on your door, offering you a bouquet of white lilies.
“Aaron!” you squealed, taking the flowers from him excitedly. He put his bag down and you smiled as you saw it because you realized that you had him to yourself all weekend.
“Anything for my boo,” he joked. He instantly chuckled as he said it and you found it incredibly endearing that he would laugh at his own jokes.
“Thank you. But don’t say that. You can’t say that.”
“Why not?” he asked, coming to hug you with a huge grin.
You hugged him back and you put the flowers on the counter before going for a gentle kiss. “You’re past that point.”
You kissed him lightly a few times before you went to put the flowers in a vase.
Aaron approached you, his hands warm on your waist and he brought you towards him, kissing your lips again.
“Were you saying I’m old?” he asked while smiling into yet another kiss.
You shook your head, smirking widely. “No. Never. I’m just saying you shouldn’t say ‘boo’.”
“Well, what are you going to do to shut me up?” he asked, clearly in the mood for some teasing.
“I guess I could offer you some wine.” You wanted to shut him up in other ways, but you wanted to take your time tonight. There was no rush to get naked right now.
Aaron nodded and he waited patiently, sitting at the kitchen counter. You offered him a glass of wine shortly after and you gestured for him to follow you towards your couch. He followed you without a word and when you were both sitting, he sipped on his wine, his gaze entirely focused on you.
Aaron put a hand on your leg and he squeezed your thigh unusually gently, without urgency. “This is nice. Not being in a hurry.”
You put your hand on top of his, smiling at him and the lovely gesture. He was incredibly good at soft caresses like these before and after sex. During, well, it depended.
“Do you want to watch a movie?” you asked, pointing at the DVDs you had put on the coffee table prior to his arrival.
Aaron put his wine glass on the coffee table and he gave you another breathtaking smile as he browsed through the DVDs you had selected.
“So… Old movies, huh?”
“There’s something incredibly poetic and beautiful about old cinema, Aaron.”
“Does that apply to people, too?”
Even though you were aware that he was attempting to make light of your age gap, you had to stop him from making these remarks. You vowed to stop making them as well because you knew he had his reservations about this.
“You’re not old. You’re older than I am, but it’s not relevant. Your age has never mattered to me and it never will, so please stop making comments like these. What we have is so much more than just our ages,” you paused, putting your glass of wine on the coffee table before cupping his cheek. “You are beautiful and I’m very lucky to have you.”
He sighed happily, closing his eyes for a moment. He put his hand on top of yours, enveloping your hand on his cheek with his. “Sorry. I’m just a bit self-conscious because you could do better.” He planted a small kiss inside your wrist and you couldn’t deny his sweet attentions had a way of making you feel euphoric.
You scoffed at his words. “Do better? Aaron-- Have you seen yourself?”
“Have you seen yourself?” he retorted.
You shook your head, grabbing his face with both of your hands, making him look at you so he would know you meant it, “You are the most beautiful person I have ever met, inside and out. I just wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”
Aaron leaned towards you, capturing your lips gently. He held you tightly for a few seconds before he cupped your face into his huge hands, beaming at you. “I’m really falling for you.”
“Then we’re falling together.” You smiled gleefully, resting a warm hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat fast and steady under your palm. “Now, pick a movie.”
You felt his lips curve into a smile as he kissed your forehead softly. “I’m in the mood for romance.”
You pointed towards the shelf where you had a wide selection of DVDs to choose from. “Alright, then pick something off the shelf.”
Aaron got up and looked through your DVDs before he picked one and came back to sit with you. “This.”
He gave you what he had picked and you frowned, totally surprised. You looked at him, confused. “The Sound of Music? Really? You’re not messing with me?”
Aaron looked serious enough as he nodded. “Captain Von Trapp and Maria had an age gap, and yet their love story is still one of the most beautiful pieces of art ever made,” he clarified.
You didn’t know whether he was implying something, but you let it go.
It took you by surprise that Aaron knew the film at all. “I never would have pegged you for the kind of man who likes musicals.” Aaron smiled and you realized you had learned something cute and personal about him. “Do you want to sit through three hours of that? For real?”
Aaron nodded, putting a hand on your leg again. “I guess I could easily be distracted if you don’t feel like finishing it.”
You smirked, getting up to put the DVD into the DVD player. You made sure to give him a nice view of your ass as you crouched to put the DVD into the DVD player because he had said a few times he loved your ass. You came back to sit with him, cuddling into his side and wrapping your arm around his midsection.
You felt a gentle kiss on the top of your head and you closed your eyes for a few seconds, completely content.
Aaron hummed gently beside you whenever he liked a song and you hummed with him. You had both shared some wine and you had made Aaron a panini he had devoured with gusto while you finished the movie. It was getting rather late, but you weren’t in a hurry to get to bed and he didn’t seem in a hurry either. You loved cuddling with him on the couch almost as much as you liked getting to touch him more intimately.
His fingertips grazed your arm gently, ghosting over your skin with small touches. He could raise goosebumps any time he touched you and this time was no exception. He made you shiver against him, a chill running up your spine and you heard him chuckling deeply as you shivered.
“Do you still have enough energy to handle me?” you joked. You started to tickle his side in return for him chuckling at his making you shiver.
Aaron grabbed your wrists firmly, stopping you easily. He kissed you without tenderness this time and he left you breathless once more. He had this uncanny ability to make you wonder if you were asthmatic. You were panting into his mouth by the time he was heavily fondling your ass and somehow you ended up straddling his lap and rocking your clothed core against his.
Aaron stopped you suddenly, gripping your waist with strong hands. “I have enough energy to fuck you against the wall of your choosing.”
“I think I might need you to prove it,” you teased.
Aaron smiled and he picked you up effortlessly. Your legs went around his waist intuitively and Aaron held onto your ass with an unforgiving but exquisite grip.
He put your back against the nearest wall and he sank his teeth into your neck, making you whimper as you pulled on his hair, making him thrust his hips into you.
“Let’s get you out of these clothes, shall we?” he urged you, panting in your neck.
Aaron put you down and you instantly went to undress him but he stopped you in your tracks. He made quick work of removing your clothes before he let you remove his. He loved watching you remove his, so you often let him undress you first. You removed his clothes as gently as you could before this turned into a heated frenzy.
You licked your palm and you put a hand on him, stroking him gently. Aaron groaned instantly, thrusting into your hand.
“Can I taste you?” you suggested sultrily.
“Not tonight. I don’t want your lovely mouth this time.”
“What do you want?” you asked, moving your thumb over the tip of his cock just the way he liked.
Aaron kissed your neck, bringing your body against his. He blew hot air next to your ear before he played with your nipples one after the other, trailing his fingers down to your core without moving them once he reached your clit. He loved taking his time and you knew that, but you were debating whether he’d let you beg because you were about to.
He started massaging your clit with the slowest pace you had ever experienced and you were genuinely about to beg him to take you when he started gaining a rhythm.
“I’ll get on my knees and you’ll put a leg over my shoulder and I’ll make you come on my tongue, okay?”
You nodded and you watched him get down on his knees. “And then?” you asked, out of breath. You were already panting because of his gifted fingers.
He smiled, his eyes completely dark. “And then we’ll move this to the bedroom, you’ll put a condom on me and I’ll let you choose how you want to do this.”
You smiled and Aaron dove right in, his tongue darting to your clit as soon as his mouth collided with your pussy. He tapped on your leg and you put it on top of his shoulder as he had asked you to, and you pushed your back against the wall so you wouldn’t lose your footing. Aaron was immediately relentless with his tongue, but when his finger started plunging into you, you couldn’t help but thrash against his face. You grabbed his head as you sought more of him, of his tongue, of his finger. He groaned against your clit and you loved feeling him against your core. Aaron added another finger before he arched them inside you, making you see stars each time he drove them inside you. You could barely remain upright on one foot as he sucked on your clit vigorously, unrelenting. He effectively devoured you and your knee buckled as you yelled out his name, your fingers pulling harshly on his hair. Your climax took you by surprise and it continued to rock you until your extremities all went numb. Aaron had to hold you up before you fell, your limbs too shaky to support you.
Aaron stopped and flashed you a smug grin as he looked up at you. He was obviously pleased to be so disheveled and messy because of you. You put your other foot down, still amazed you could stand right now.
“Fuck, you’re so good at this,” you chuckled dryly.
Aaron stood up, backing you against the wall and towering over you before he shoved his fingers back inside you, making you gasp loudly. He kissed you, shutting you up before you woke the whole block with a scream as he started moving his fingers in and out of you. You had excellent soundproofing here, but nothing was adequate enough as you had learned because Aaron could make you scream on command.
You tasted yourself on his tongue and he smiled into the kiss. It always made your knees shake violently whenever he did that.
“What do you want now?” he asked. He removed his fingers from inside you, instantly making you miss how full he could make you feel.
The tip of his cock smeared pre-come on your stomach and you really wanted more of him.
“I’m going to get on all fours on my bed now. The rest is up to you.”
You watched Aaron follow you and you grabbed a condom from your bedside table before opening the foil packet and putting the condom on him without losing a beat. He almost winced when you touched him and you felt him throb in your hand. He was already enjoying this a lot, so you gave him a few strokes for good measure before he turned you around forcefully, spreading your legs apart. He bent you over, your face meeting the bed as your ass was met by his unforgiving grip. He massaged your ass and the bottom of your back with strong hands, letting his fingers sometime tease your entrance and your clit until you were nothing but a whimpering and whining mess.
“I’m going to taste you again but you can’t come just yet, okay, angel?”
You nodded enthusiastically, prepared to give him whatever he wanted as long as he just did something, but the second his tongue was inside you, you screamed at the top of your lungs, thrashing against his face, chasing your release again.
“Please, Aaron,” you whimpered. He was too talented. He could render you unable to think so easily.
From this angle, having his mouth on you was doing wonders. He worked out a rhythm with his fingers and tongue and you wanted more. You really wanted to let go again.
The knot in your stomach started getting tighter and tighter and you were about to come when Aaron moved away, a firm hand spanking your ass firmly a few times. “I told you you couldn’t come yet. You were about to come, weren’t you? Not even a warning." He chuckled dryly. He smoothed his hand gently over where it had met your ass with force, bringing your ass back onto his mouth before he blew hot air onto your pussy. “I’m sorry I did that.”
You would discuss his apologies with him some other time. He always apologized after doing it, but you loved it. He was so lost in the moment with you sometimes and he really let go. You loved how he would let his instincts take over. But his kind nature took over some time after he did anything rough and he would usually apologize way more than he should. He needn't apologize ever where you were concerned and you would tell him just that, but not now.
“No. Don't be sorry. You know I like it. I told you it's fine. I’m not into many things, but I love this.”
You felt Aaron smile between your legs before his tongue entered you again, his hands roughly gripping your ass again.
He often made you feel and experience things you hadn’t even imagined you could and today was another example of that.
Aaron hummed when you pushed your ass back onto his face and this time, when you moaned, he moved his face away before you could even approach your orgasm.
“I need you,” he said, his voice betraying how badly he wanted this.
You moved a little and Aaron teased you with the tip of his cock before he entered you slowly. You moaned as soon as you felt the familiar stretch and you did your best not to move because you needed to adjust to his size. Aaron played with your clit, making it easier for you to adjust quickly to him.
Once he was fully buried inside you, he brought you up a little and he bowed down enough to make your back meet his chest. He left absolutely no space between you, his firm chest warm against your back. He grabbed one of your breasts firmly with one hand, the other hand instantly going to work on your clit relentlessly. He kissed your neck gently before he nibbled on your ear. Aaron started thrusting inside you with short but sharp thrusts as soon as he heard you moaning incoherent syllables. He kissed your shoulder and neck before he bit into them and it was an ideal combination of rough and sweet, just like him. You loved whenever he marked you with his teeth, pestering your skin with soft kisses in between. It always felt incredible and you realized mid-sex that Aaron was making you moan more than any man ever had before.
“Jesus, fuck, Aaron!”
Aaron pushed you back onto the bed, driving into you more forcefully. He had to let go of your breast, but he still toyed with your clit, his other hand surely leaving marks on your hip. You thrashed against him, seeking more of his cock. You felt Aaron’s hand leave your hip, trailing up your back before he grabbed a fistful of your hair, pulling your head back gently with your hair in his grip. You whined because you knew he knew you loved it when he did this, and you would be incredibly mad if he dared to apologize right now. He didn't and his pace quickened, making you moan every time his cock hit deeper. His finger on your clit felt absolutely delicious as it sped up to a pace he knew you liked, letting you know he was nearing his own climax.
“So good for me, angel,” he groaned, slowing his pace, letting his cock move in and out of you painfully slowly.
“Please, Aaron.”
Aaron drove back into you with slower but sharper thrusts, letting the tip of his cock sit deep inside you as he let go of your hair to put his hand under your stomach. He adjusted the angle, making you shiver and see stars all at once. Your vision blacked out almost instantly as he pushed into you deeply and he easily sent you over the edge, the knot in your stomach finally loose. You felt Aaron’s hips stutter behind you before you heard him grunt and curse. He thrusted inside you gently a few more times before you felt him pull out.
You were just about to move to lie down when you felt his fingers drive back inside you. You whined as you gasped, completely overwhelmed and overstimulated by now.
“You did so good,” he cooed, his fingers driving into you gently. “Let me make you come one more time. You deserve it.”
You moaned and you realized you were completely unable to say no. You wanted him again, as greedy as you felt that you would get multiple orgasms from him each time you got together. “Please.”
“I love it when you say please,” he whispered. He removed his fingers, flipping you on your back easily. He lay down beside you, letting his fingertips ghost over every inch of your bare skin. He smiled as he raised goosebumps and he played with your nipples before he captured one in his mouth, licking, sucking and biting gently, letting his hand go down towards your core. He started toying with your clit again, making you thrust your hips upward onto his finger.
“Kiss me.”
Aaron stopped his talented mouth on your breasts, smiling at you as you whined in need. He captured your lips, his tongue meeting yours with a fierce tenderness. His finger was almost painful on your clit now, he was going fast and you were positively moaning loudly inside his mouth as he kept his on yours, but you were about to come again, as overwhelming as it was.
You felt it start at the top of your head and you felt it reach the tip of your toes. You felt goosebumps transform into shivers and you had to let go. You kissed him kindly while his finger was anything but kind on your clit. You felt your orgasm properly shake you to your core and you knew you’d have to change the sheets because you had clearly just drenched your thighs, his finger and anything close to it.
You opened your eyes after a few seconds, completely unaware you had even closed them. You smiled sillily at him, completely wiped out. He had succeeded in making you tremble for what felt like minutes and while you were no stranger to orgasms, Aaron had given you the strongest and purest orgasms you had ever experienced since you had gotten together.
Aaron held you through it, planting kisses all over your face. “You did so good, angel,” he praised.
You loved having him praise you like this, especially since it was his doing. “You're some kind of sex prodigy, aren’t you?”
Aaron laughed loudly beside you, making you and the bed shake as he laughed. “I’m happy you think so.”
You chuckled, caressing his face and his hair gently. “I’m never going to want to have sex with anyone else ever again and it’s entirely your fault.”
He smiled fully, kissing your forehead. “Well, that’s kind of a blessing because you are mine and I don’t want to share.”
“I am yours and you won’t have to share because I just want you,” you added.
Aaron removed the condom, wincing as he did and you led him to your bathroom, offering to wash his back in the shower. You washed each other thoroughly and Aaron informed you he was hungry as you both put on your pajamas. You were hungry as well so you suggested making him scrambled eggs as it was getting rather late and Aaron enthusiastically approved, telling you he'd eat anything you'd make anyway.
You ate your eggs before you went to brush your teeth side by side and when you got into bed that night, you snuggled against his side, calmer than ever before when you heard his soft snoring beside you.
You woke the next morning still pressed up against him and you looked at him sleeping next to you. It was exactly as you had imagined it. You noticed he was fast asleep and you wanted to stay in bed and cuddle with him, but you had all weekend for that so you got up and you put on the first thing you saw which happened to be the shirt he wore last night. You only buttoned a few buttons and you set to make Aaron some breakfast.
When you heard the floorboards creak behind you as you prepared to flip the pancakes you were making for Aaron, you immediately ducked to avoid the impending hit. You didn't realize someone wasn't going to hit you until you had dodged an attack that wasn’t going to come.
You felt two strong arms encircling you and turning you instantly. You faced a firm chest as you started trembling and your knees buckled from shaking. You felt the need to sit on the floor of your kitchen as you shook violently in his arms, completely unable to stand. Aaron sat with you, holding you through it. He let you find your way through the panic you felt, but he didn’t leave you alone with it and that was something you would always crave from now on.
“I’m so sorry, angel. It’s me, it’s fine, you’re fine,” he cooed.
You shook your head, letting yourself be held. “It’s fine. I’m sorry I panicked.”
Aaron stroked your back, rubbing soothing patterns on it. “No. Don’t apologize. I should have said I was there. I’m sorry. I forgot.”
“Maybe one day I won’t freak out anymore,” you replied, hopeful that you were right.
“Do you want to tell me what happened to you?”
“My stepmom, Marianne. She’s what happened.”
“Tell me everything?” he asked again, his tone gentle.
You didn’t intend to keep this from him, so you wondered whether it was the right time, but there was something in his eyes that told you he’d never judge you for any of it. Since you first spoke to him, there had been something that you had recognized in him. He had always felt strangely familiar to you in some ways and it occurred to you just now that he probably knew how to handle you right now because someone had put him through something similar. It was highly probable that he knew how to comfort you because he had craved that same comfort himself at some point.
“I loved my dad. He was the greatest. He’s why I am who I am today. My mom left the minute she had me and I never knew her, so it was me and my dad for a while. It was incredible and then one day, he met Marianne. He fell in love with her and he raised my standards when it comes to dating men because he loved her so fiercely and he was a hopeless romantic. You know, Marianne was sweet whenever he was around, but if my dad wasn’t there, she turned into this evil entity that hovered around me. She belittled me, she insulted me and she hit me. I took it because my dad was so happy and he deserved to be happy, you know? My mom had left him with a newborn baby without ever looking back. He had a right to be happy and in love again and he really did love Marianne. Anyway, she used to hit me. That’s my sad and tragic story.”
“There’s more to it, isn’t there?”
“Yes,” you acknowledged. You didn’t want to get into the intricate details, you didn’t want to think about Marianne. “But let’s not. Not today.”
“Okay.” He paused, holding you tightly. “You know, my dad wasn’t kind,” he admitted. You could tell he had been through something comparable early in your acquaintance and you could also tell that it was very likely that Aaron had never even voiced this out loud. You saw tears well up in his eyes and you cupped his face, doing what you could to comfort him. You admired how transparent and vulnerable he allowed himself to be with you in this moment, and you were determined to make him realize at some point that he would always be able to count on you to never judge him. You wanted him to know it deep in his gut that you would always stand by him.
“Oh, baby, I know.”
“You do?”
“I feel like I recognized you on some level very early on because we've been through similar stuff. I feel like I knew your soul instantly. As soon as you smiled at me, I knew you’d change my life. It sounds so corny when I say it, but it’s really what happened.”
“I’m a rational man, Y/N. I always follow my head. I don’t trust myself with my heart.” You laid a hand on his chest, feeling his thundering heartbeat under your palm. “But I trust you with it.”
You exhaled loudly, aware of what that meant coming from him. You could only be brave enough to bare your soul to him. “I trust you with mine.”
Aaron placed his hand on your heart while also pulling off his shirt from over your shoulders and you felt totally exposed, yet you weren't unsettled. His warm palm gave you chills and he was clearly aware of that because he trailed his fingers all over your breasts, making your nipples harden and leaving goosebumps on your bare skin.
“You’re so responsive to my touch,” he muttered, his eyes fixed on your exposed flesh.
You grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and Aaron let you remove it from him without another word. You trailed your fingers on his bare chest, raising goosebumps on his skin, too. He shivered and you smiled because you knew how much he loved your hands on him.
“So are you,” you paused to grip his thigh firmly. You knew it would distract him. Touching his thigh like this meant you wanted sex and he knew it by now. Your bodies were connected this way. “Are we just good people who had shitty things happen to them or are we shitty people that got what they deserved?” you asked, joking.
You knew it was the former by now, but you had your doubts sometimes because you were touching each other like two famished individuals who craved one another in the most basic ways even after unpleasant conversations. It highlighted how unusual your bond was and how intimately connected you two were because whatever you discussed, you found a way to gravitate towards one another.
“I’m rather inclined to think I’m going to hell for this anyway,” Aaron chuckled before he hooked his thumbs inside your panties, bringing them down. You moved to help him discard your panties, watching him watch you.
You saw he was tenting his boxers, but you let him be for now.
“You remained by Haley’s side until the end even after you realized she was unfaithful.” You both didn't believe in any religion. You knew that. You knew he had been raised Catholic just like you, but you both didn't believe in anything. It had been an entertaining late-night discussion on the phone a few weeks ago. Yet, if anyone had earned his spot in heaven, it was him.
“Yes,” he replied, his fingers meeting your core. Clearly, Haley wasn’t what he wanted to talk about right now.
“You’re a better person than I’ll ever be,” you replied, breathlessly.
“You never told your dad that your stepmother was hitting you because you wanted him to be happy. I think you win that one,” he added, effectively rendering you speechless for a few seconds with his fingers.
“We both win.” You kissed him hungrily, palming him through his boxers, making him groan loudly. “But if you’re going to hell, I’m right behind you, my love.” You didn’t have time to wonder why that term of endearment slipped out, so you put your hand inside his boxers, stroking him gently. You meant your words, though. You’d follow him anywhere. You focused back on him and your hand on him instead of your sentimental nature.
Aaron smiled and he captured your lips again, his fingers working adeptly to bring you closer and closer to your release. “What do you want?”
“Let me get on top of you.”
Aaron nodded and you moved his boxers down just enough to straddle his lap and bare his cock for you. You lined him up with your entrance, realizing you didn’t have condoms since they were in the bedroom, but you didn’t care if he didn’t. You started lowering yourself, teasing his tip with your folds.
He gripped your hips harshly, stopping you. “I’m not wearing a condom.”
“I’m clean. I’m on the pill. But if you want me to go grab one, I will,” you replied, rocking your hips on top of him.
Aaron lowered you onto his cock swiftly, not letting you adjust or catch your breath. It was the hottest thing ever, but it was also a huge stretch without foreplay.
“Fuck, Aaron.”
You looked at him to find him gritting his teeth, eyes closed and chest heaving. It was a sight, seeing Aaron completely lost on the feeling of you.
“Hmm… I was wrong because this feels like heaven.”
“You feel so good,” you added, leaning towards his face to seal his lips with yours.
Aaron instantly kissed you back and he let his hands roam on your skin, patting your back gently. “You really are my angel.”
“Can I move?”
“Give me a second. It feels better than I ever--” You rolled your hips nonetheless, watching Aaron grit his teeth halfway through a loud groan. He grabbed your ass firmly, his fingers digging into your skin and you loved watching him try to collect himself. “I said you had to wait.”
You lifted his chin and you forced him to look at you while you smirked wickedly. “Make me wait, then.”
Aaron hooked his arms under your armpits, grasping your shoulders and keeping you in place. “You really like feeling me, don’t you?” he asked, thrusting up inside you with small sharp thrusts.
“Fuck, yes, I do.”
Aaron leaned forward, capturing a nipple inside his mouth before he sucked on it and he bit on it gently, making you rock your hips and moan loudly.
“Don’t move,” he ordered, his tone heavy now.
“I need to,” you whined, unable to refrain from moving.
“Then help me. Touch yourself. I won’t last long.”
You nodded, putting a finger at your core.
Aaron kept his hold on you, his arms under your armpits, his hands on your shoulders and he thrusted up with sharp thrusts. He clearly couldn’t do full thrusts, but his tip was the most sensitive part of him and he loved having it touched. Surely, this was working for him because he was panting heavily against your skin.
He groaned loudly as you voluntarily clenched around him, caressing his hair in the process. Aaron was pressed up closely against you, his thrusts from this angle hitting you inside exactly where you needed him to hit.
“I’m close, Aaron,” you moaned, speeding up on your clit.
“Should I pull out?” he grunted as he lost his pace a little, betraying that he was close.
“Don’t you dare!” you warned, clenching harder around him.
You sped up on your clit again, still feeling a bit sore from last night. Somehow, the discomfort was pleasant.
“Angel, I’m—”
You grabbed his face, making him look at you. You leaned down and kissed him, a soft smile on your lips. “Let go,” you replied, your voice soft.
Aaron’s thrusts halted, you felt him shoot up inside you and it was all it took for your finger to bring you over the edge.
You didn’t move as you attempted to breathe normally again, but it was also because you knew that if you moved, there would be a mess either on Aaron or on the floor. There was also the fact that you really wanted to sit on him and feel him soften inside you.
“You let me have you without a condom,” he stated, his voice soft as he caressed your back affectionately.
“I did,” you said, combing your fingers through his hair and gently caressing the roots.
He almost purred as you massaged his scalp and you were pleased he enjoyed your touch so much.
“We are officially dating.”
It didn’t sound like a query; rather, it sounded like an affirmation that this was real and that this was happening. It was a confirmation that your relationship was deeper than a simple fling.
You chuckled because you thought it was rather obvious already. “Well, yes, I should hope so. You are my boo after all.”
He chuckled deeply, his laugh echoing in your kitchen. You realized that this was your favorite sound, and certainly you had found your favorite sight. A laughing and smiling Aaron naked in your kitchen was unparalleled.
“I need to shower,” he announced, ruffling his hair.
“Do you think I could convince you to let me help?” you asked, pouting a little to make sure he’d be inclined to agree.
“I told you. If I ever say no to showering with you, have me committed.”
You got up and you took his hand to lead him towards your shower.
You were rubbing soap all over his chest when Aaron leaned down to kiss your nose and the tender gesture made your heart flutter. He was always really sweet after sex.
“Please, don’t break my heart,” he whispered.
He looked utterly vulnerable before you and you contemplated the extent and severity of his former traumas. You admired him for what he did for Haley in spite of what she did to him, but you really wished he hadn’t had to endure any of it.
“Why would I ever do that?”
You were seriously baffled as to why he believed you would ever hurt him. If anything, you were more terrified of the alternative. While your feelings for him should have been unsettling, you couldn’t help that you were falling for him frighteningly rapidly and you couldn't help but feel like this was it, that Aaron was meant to be your person.
“I know it’s bound to get difficult for you when people find out.”
You cupped his face, searching his eyes. “You are worth it, Aaron. The day you stop being my professor, I will go public if you want me to. I’ll post a photo of us on social media and I’ll gladly let the world know I’m taken. I’ll let everyone know I’m yours. I don’t care if people become nasty or if they are cruel, I don’t care what people will say. I am honored to be with you.”
“Aren’t you worried people will pity you for getting saddled with an older man with a kid and what most people would consider a failed marriage?” he asked.
It pained you that Aaron couldn’t see what you saw in him. You ran your thumbs over his cheeks, feeling him relax a little. “I want you and your son to be a part of my life, Aaron. I’ve known Jack was a part of the deal for a while and while I understand that I'm unlikely to be a perfect mother figure for Jack, that while I’m probably far from what you had in mind for him, I love kids. I always have. And if you let me, I’ll show you that I can be a great role model for him.”
You held his gaze in the hopes that he would see how earnest you were because as much as you wanted to be a part of Aaron's life, you simultaneously wanted to be a part of Jack's.
“I’m astounded someone like you even exists. I’m so lucky to have you.” He hugged you tightly and you once again treasured the feeling of being swallowed by his arms.
“The feeling is mutual.”
“I’m sorry that I sometimes need to be reassured.”
You couldn’t bear to have him apologize for what you considered to be one of the most essential yet common thing a significant other should do. You moved to look him in the eye again. “Don’t be sorry. I’m going to reassure you as many times as you need me to. It’s part of the deal. Sometimes, you’ll reassure me, too. But believe me when I say that it is my privilege and it will be my privilege to reassure you that I want this and that I want you.”
You could see he was affected by your words because he looked away briefly before meeting your gaze again. He gently lowered his lips to yours, kissing you tenderly. “Let’s drive down to the coast.”
You frowned, searching for any sign that he was messing with you. “What? Where?”
“Virginia Beach?” he suggested.
“That’s about three hours away. Are you crazy?” you asked, giggling.
He cocked his head and he caressed your face. “We can make the round trip if we leave now. We’ll be back late tonight.”
“It’s way too cold for the beach.”
“Please,” he asked again. This time, he pouted and gave you the cutest puppy eyes you'd ever seen.
You couldn’t possibly say no to him now. You still had all day and tomorrow, so you agreed with a smile. “Fine.”
Before you knew it, you were walking on the beach alongside Aaron and while you had been right and it was in fact cold, it was not chilly enough to make the experience unpleasant. It was actually nice to see this other side of him. Aaron looked calm and content, and it was nice to be out like a real couple. He held your hand and you held his, and you didn’t have a care in the world because this was just about the two of you enjoying the beauty of the world together.
You eventually sat in the sand, your back resting against his chest and Aaron easily kept you warm. You had come to realize in the past weeks that Aaron was always warm and you often took advantage of the heat he provided.
“Can we take a photo together?” you asked as you grabbed your phone from your pocket.
“Anything you want, angel.”
You made your way back to his car shortly after. Aaron had asked before you got in the car that you send him the photos and you had done just that, not missing how he smiled as he looked at them before he started driving. You held hands on the drive back to your place, listening to a playlist he had put together for you two. Even when it came to music, you were a perfect match.
You beamed at your phone for the whole way back as you looked at your new wallpaper. It was certainly your favorite photo now. Aaron was sitting behind you, looking at you with a smile that showcased a dimple and you just smiled at the camera. It was a lovely photo. You particularly liked that it showed his affection for you and while you took a few others, this one was special to you.
That night, you both collapsed into bed completely exhausted. You snuggled against Aaron’s side, clutching to him even in your tired state. He kissed the top of your head as soon as your head met his chest and you were sure you were about to pass out from exhaustion, but you heard him sigh contentedly.
“Surely this is what heaven feels like,” he mumbled. Though you were too drowsy to fully comprehend what he was expressing, you had a hunch that he was sharing a pleasant thought with you, so you allowed yourself to drift off to sleep in the safety of Aaron’s arms.
You woke up entangled in Aaron’s limbs, so you looked at him to find him peacefully sleeping. You glanced at his watch and you saw it was already past nine. You kissed his cheek before you would move to get up to go make him some coffee and a nice breakfast, but when you started moving away, his strong arms held you back against him.
“A few more minutes,” he whispered. His voice was groggy from sleep and his eyes were still shut, but you realized he was genuinely comfortable right now.
You kissed his dimple before lying down on his chest again. “I could get used to this,” you murmured. You hugged his waist and you couldn’t help humming because of this elated sensation Aaron brought to the surface.
“Me too, angel,” he muttered. He started gently stroking your back and you loved feeling his hands on you in whatever capacity. “Jack and Jessica will be back tonight. If you’re up for it, I’d like to introduce you to Jessica.”
“Really?” you asked, perking yourself up to see if he actually meant it. He opened his eyes, his gaze incredibly soft as he focused on you.
He nodded, smiling at you. “You should meet her.”
“Well, then, I’d be delighted.”
You kissed him delicately, your hands lightly tracing the skin and light hair on his chest.
“Invite Ethel, too. She and Jessica ought to get along.”
You agreed to do just that and when you made your way to his place with Ethel later that day, you were a bit restless.
Ethel clearly picked up on it because she stopped the radio as you pulled into Aaron’s driveway, catching your trembling hand. “It’ll be fine, Y/N. She’ll love you.”
“I sincerely hope you’re right because I don’t want to lose him.”
“She will see how wonderful you are, and even if she doesn't, I firmly believe he wouldn’t give you up, dear.”
You nodded and you took a deep breath to center yourself and calm your nerves. You stopped the car and you made your way towards Aaron’s door with Ethel.
The door opened before you could knock with Jack instantly bringing you inside. “Y/N! Come see the new LEGOs my grandpa got me!”
You chuckled, immediately following Jack inside. Aaron and Jessica joined you and Ethel, so you got up from where you were crouching with Jack.
Aaron put an arm around your waist, kissing your temple and you instinctively melted into his side embrace. “This is Y/N, my girlfriend.” It warmed your heart to hear him introduce you to Jessica like that.
“Hi, pleased to meet you!” you replied, offering your hand to Jessica.
Jessica swatted your hand away, going for a hug instead. “Likewise, dear!”
You smiled at her as soon as the hug was over and you introduced Ethel to her. It took all of five seconds for everyone to feel at ease and before you knew it, you were playing on the floor with Jack and his new LEGOs.
It wasn't long that Jack laughed heartily in your arms as you carried him to the bathroom to wash his hands after you tickled him mercilessly to the floor when he first stated he didn't want to wash his hands. He was a kind and funny boy, and you really enjoyed making him laugh.
At dinner, you promised Jack to offer him another book full of puns if he ate all his vegetables, all under Aaron’s attentive gaze. He didn’t look disapproving, but to be fair, you’d promise Jack anything even if his father didn’t fully agree because you loved seeing Jack smile and laugh.
Soon, Jack was told to get into a bath and Jack hugged you and Ethel before he followed Jessica down the hall. Jessica went with Jack to get him into the bath before his bedtime and you helped Ethel and Aaron clean up while Jessica took care of Jack.
Once you were done, you all sat at the kitchen table, waiting for Jessica to come back once Jack would be down for the night before you left with Ethel. It was a Sunday night so you had to drive back sooner rather than later, but you wanted to say goodbye to Jessica and you enjoyed sitting with Ethel and Aaron because you had done it quite a few times already.
Ethel stared at Aaron for a considerable amount of time without speaking and you wondered what that was about. She suddenly looked rather serious before pointing at you. “You need to understand that she is one of the most important things in the world to me. If you ever hurt her, I will come after you myself. I may not look like much, but I know where to hit.”
Aaron chuckled nervously. “I understand,” he said, taking your hand into his on top of the table, offering you a small smile.
You saw Jessica walk back towards the three of you, but seemingly, Aaron hadn’t noticed she was making her way back as he was facing the other way.
He kept his hand in yours, absentmindedly brushing your knuckles with his thumb. Ethel looked at your joined hands, smiling broadly before she focused on Aaron again.
“So I saw Y/N saved you as ‘My Boo’ in her phone because she often has me read her her texts when she bakes for me. That’s when I gathered that you were finally her boyfriend. Tell me, Aaron, were you foolish enough to save her under her real name in your phone or are you trying to protect her identity from potential prying eyes and other snoopers?” Ethel asked, her serious tone amusing you.
Ethel was fiercely protective of you and you were eternally grateful to her for that, but Aaron didn’t deserve to be put in the hot seat. He was a good man. Fortunately, he didn’t seem anxious or flustered.
“She’s not Y/N in my phone, but I appreciate you making sure I’m not an idiot, Ethel.”
You knew Ethel too well, so you knew Aaron had walked right into it. Ethel would ask, you knew that. Ethel smirked, eyeing Aaron. “Well, now my fine young man, you’re going to tell me what name you saved her under in your contacts.”
Jessica was smirking behind him, a finger on her lips silently asking you not to betray she was there, clearly enjoying this beyond measure.
You shrugged at Aaron, unable to help him now.
Aaron grinned at you widely, causing his eyes to sparkle with affection. “She’s just—I saved her under 'My Angel'.”
Ethel and Jessica both shrieked at the same time, alerting Aaron of Jessica’s presence behind him. You leaned towards Aaron to kiss his cheek tenderly, aware that he would welcome the gesture in the comfort and privacy of his home. You still didn’t know why he kept calling you ‘angel’, but it was the sweetest pet name you had ever gotten and you vowed to cherish hearing it for as long as Aaron would use it.
This is the song I am referring to. It is the best live performance I've ever seen on television. Also, imagine Aaron's hands and fingers on a guitar... (need I say more?)
Wonderwall
Part 7 -
Warnings: (see at the end to avoid spoilers)
Word count: 7.2k
You were once again working on writing your papers in Aaron’s office when it occurred to him that you often looked at the guitar in his office. He saw you glance at it, but you had never asked him to play and Aaron wondered why until you had mentioned that you weren’t equipped to see his fingers and hands on a guitar and remain decent if he played for you. He had offered to learn Ordinary Love by U2 for you, since you had mentioned you loved it, but he hadn’t gotten around to it yet. He would google it tonight and start learning it for you, though. You deserved to hear it played for you.
It had made him laugh a few times to hear you mention how his fingers belonged on an instrument, but he let it go because if you ever made it clear that you wanted him to use his fingers on you, he wouldn’t be able to say no to you, even if you were in his office. His office had been declared a safe zone from any and all sexual activities. So even if Aaron saw you glance at his guitar a few times as you sat opposite him, he decided not to do or say anything and he chose to respect the safe zone agreement you had made together.
Aaron was focused on reading a new study when he heard knocking. He looked up as he saw you look at the open door behind you.
Dave stood there, watching you with a look that Aaron didn’t like at all.
You were attractive and Aaron knew it, but he never liked it when other people noticed it, even less so when it was his friend who seemed to notice it.
"Hi, Dave," Aaron said.
Aaron didn't have such a fond memory of the last time Dave had dropped by his office unannounced while you were there.
"Hey, Aaron, I was wondering whether you’d be coming to the mixer tonight," Dave said, his eyes darting to look at you again.
Aaron really didn’t like to see how Dave’s eyes lingered on you.
"Oh, I can't. Sorry," Aaron replied. He looked at you and it was implied before you even sat down in his office to work earlier that he was going to come over to yours for dinner tonight.
You had texted him early this morning about wanting to try out new things and Aaron had to refrain from jerking off before work as he read and re-read everything you had planned for him. You had sent him another text within minutes, asking him not to touch himself before you got to touch him and he had respected your request. He would be about ready to burst tonight, but he trusted you because you always made the experience memorable. He really looked forward to it and he was impatient to get out of here with you.
"Is this new girlfriend of yours getting all of your time?" Dave asked, an undertone of teasing detectable. Aaron saw that you had to focus very intensely on your laptop because while you were the girlfriend in question, it seemed inappropriate that Dave would even discuss this with Aaron so openly with you sitting there.
Aaron frowned and glared at Dave, but he didn't seem to care in the least that he was speaking about Aaron's private life in front of you.
"Dave," Aaron warned, his whole body tensing up as he pointed towards you with his head and eyes. Dave looked confused but Aaron continued, “Look… Just tell them I’m sorry. Not tonight.”
"Fine. I'll tell them you're not coming, but you really should think about your priorities, Aaron. Ditching your friends for a girl shouldn’t be common practice," Dave added, visibly dejected.
Aaron was unbelievably uncomfortable to be discussing this with him with you sitting in front of him until he saw you smirking at your laptop.
He knew why Dave wanted him to come, though. Aaron was one of his only friends and more often than not, those mixers were dreadfully boring. What Aaron didn’t know was how Dave had figured out he had a girlfriend in the first place. He had to correct that notion if he could.
"For the last time, I don't have a girlfriend. I just need to get home for Jack and you know it."
Aaron looked at you and he couldn't read your expression this time. He thought you knew you were solid enough not to worry about what he could say to make Dave leave, but surely, you weren't on board with him lying about not having a girlfriend.
Dave left the office with a curt nod and Aaron waited a few minutes before he got up to close the door.
He put a hand on your shoulder tentatively, gauging if you would welcome his touch.
"Are you okay?" he asked, worried that he had hurt you by denying your existence to one of his closest friends.
You visibly relaxed, putting your hand on top of his. "Yeah. It's just hard, sometimes."
Aaron kneeled next to you, offering you a tight-lipped smile. He felt guilty about it but he had to mention it nonetheless. "It's bound to get harder when people find out."
"I know," you sighed. “It’s worth it but it doesn’t mean that I have to like it.”
"I hate that I'm putting you through this," he admitted, sighing too.
You faced him this time, cupping his face so tenderly and he thought he’d never get enough of your sweet touches. "You're not putting me through anything. We're going through it together."
"I still don't like knowing I'm hurting you," he added, a bit breathlessly. He hated that he had to deny how happy he was to have found his other half.
You looked pensive for a second before you leaned down to plant a gentle kiss on his nose, making him relax in a matter of seconds. "Would Dave tell? Why don't you tell him you're dating someone? Are you not sure enough to tell him?"
Aaron frowned before he shrugged, considering the possibility of telling Dave he was in fact seeing someone. That he was seeing you. "I could tell him. But he'd want to find out who I'm dating and that's where the main issue is, isn’t it?"
Aaron surveyed your features and he knew describing you as an issue wasn’t exactly brilliant on his part.
"Do you think he wouldn't keep his mouth shut? I've heard a thing or two about him, you know," you explained.
Aaron was aware of what was being said about Dave. He knew why, too. "Those things you’ve heard are mostly rumors."
"Mostly?" you quirked an eyebrow in disbelief, and he had to refrain from kissing your brow because he thought you looked incredibly cute whenever you made that face.
Aaron put both of his hands on your knees, grounding himself. "I don't think he'd have an issue with it if you weren't currently my student."
"I don't think he has the moral high ground here, to be honest."
Aaron scoffed. Clearly you knew more than he thought you did about Dave and his past. "No, maybe not. I don't think he'd tell if I told him, but I worked hard to be a part of this department and I don't want him to think any less of me." He knew as soon as it was out of his mouth that he hadn’t expressed this properly. He saw you wince and frown, and if his prior comment about you being an issue didn’t irritate you, this one surely did. He saw your frustration as clear as day.
You shook your head, looking down at his hands on your knees. "Wow."
He cupped your face, making sure you were looking at him. "No. I didn't mean it like that," he clarified.
"It's fine."
He knew better than to believe you. He had never been good at articulating things and he hated how he hurt you with his words sometimes. "No, it's not, angel. I'm lucky to have you. I just- It's- How we met isn't strictly ideal. Explaining I couldn't keep it in my pants to my closest friend who also happens to be my mentor isn't how I thought- But I will tell him if you want me to tell him. That's how serious I am about you."
"It's fine, Aaron. Really. I know I'll deal with most of the consequences for this eventually, but I didn't really think about how this could affect your friendships."
Aaron was aware you would be dealing with the brunt of it, but if he could do something to appease you, he would. "I'll tell Dave tonight at the party."
"So you're going to ditch me?" you asked, a teasing smirk on your face.
Aaron loved how quickly you could make a situation light-hearted again, but he wouldn’t miss going to see you tonight. "No, I'll have dinner with you, go to this mixer, blend in for 45 minutes, talk to Dave and come right back to your place for a nightcap."
"I appreciate it, but if you're not ready to tell him, it's fine, Aaron."
“I really don't want a repeat of the incident in my office. I deny you exist because of the questions that might come up, but you're right. Dave has had transgressions... or indiscretions. I'll tell him tonight and if he asks who my girlfriend is, I'll gladly tell him he’s met you already."
You smiled fully and Aaron would tell the entire world if it meant he could get you to smile like that.
"What do you want for a nightcap?" you asked, waggling your eyebrows.
Aaron waggled his eyebrows in return, intent on sharing a 'nightcap' with you. He heard you chuckle instantly and he really loved that sound more than he cared about what Dave might say. He remembered once again that this was all worth it, and more importantly, that you were worth it.
Fortunately, the mixer started early. It was common knowledge that professors in this department didn’t like to stay out so late.
Aaron made it a point to talk to everyone in the department when he got there, he did his best to make it appear as though he was there so that when he left so shortly after his arrival, people would all agree he had been there for a while since he had talked to everyone.
Dave suggested a glass of expensive scotch and Aaron followed him outside, picking up his coat on the way there. Dave would have a cigar, Aaron would sip on scotch and he would get to leave soon. He would get to go to you.
Dave lit up his cigar, clearly loving the silence Aaron could provide and Aaron took it as his opening to bring you up.
Aaron breathed in and out, taking a sip of scotch before he turned to Dave. "I don't know why I lied to you earlier, but I do have a girlfriend. I didn't want to come tonight because I'm supposed to be with her right now. We usually have dinner together before I go home to Jack or she comes to my place to have dinner with us."
Dave smirked broadly. "I knew you hadn’t cancelled that date because you were sick. You had already met whoever it is you’re seeing, huh?"
Aaron nodded. "Yes. We weren’t—not yet. But I couldn't date someone else."
Dave nodded and he frowned, a sight Aaron wasn’t used to. "Don’t ask me how I know, but be careful."
Aaron was immediately confused and alarmed by Dave’s words. He felt a cold sweat drench his shirt and his hands felt clammy. He looked into Dave’s eyes, aware that Dave visibly knew about you and that he wasn’t bluffing. It explained the look he gave you earlier, but Aaron was terrified because if Dave knew…
"Sorry?”
“Your student? The one in your office earlier? I’m not blind, Aaron—” Dave started, his voice low.
“How did you know?” he inquired, his heart thundering in his chest.
“So you’re not denying it?” Dave paused, lowering his voice even more, “I thought I was wrong about what I saw. You of all people, Aaron… I never thought you’d do something like this.” Dave’s tone during their conversation went from proud to berating, and Aaron felt a silent dread settle low in his stomach.
Aaron wasn't expecting hushed tones and a disapproving glance from Dave. “I—” Aaron didn’t know how to explain he had fallen for forbidden fruit. He recognized that there was more to it than that, he wouldn’t have fallen for just anyone. You were undoubtedly why he fell in the first place, regardless of your being his student.
“Are you in love with her?”
Aaron didn't hesitate. This was a straightforward question which warranted a straightforward answer. “Yes.”
Dave clasped his shoulder and Aaron tried to mask his disdain for the smell of the cigar Dave was smoking.
“Then break it off. Let her go, Aaron. Don’t do this to her. Believe me, you don't want to do this to her." Dave looked earnest, way too earnest for Aaron's taste.
Aaron frowned, unable to understand where this was coming from. "What? Didn't you-?" Aaron knew Dave had almost married one of his students just last year. Dave had waited until she wasn’t his student anymore, but Dave out of anyone should be able to understand Aaron’s predicament.
"Yes, exactly. So, believe me when I tell you, you're going to end up hurting her and her future way more than you can ever think of."
Aaron grimaced, aware that Dave was partially right. But he had made you a promise. He intended to keep that promise. “I can’t, Dave. I promised her not to leave. I said I wouldn’t leave even if I knew a relationship with me wasn’t in her best interest.”
Aaron knew the panic he felt blooming inside his stomach and his chest wasn't good. He had thought about how this could potentially hurt you countless times. He thought about it a lot because he didn't think he was worth the sacrifices you would be making but he had promised you not to run even if this could be damaging for you.
The repercussions you would have to deal with often kept him up at night, especially when he thought about you eventually resenting him for costing you a great life, for preventing you from getting the successful life you deserved.
“You have to let her go, Aaron. Do you have any idea how bad this is going to get? For both of you? I won’t be able to protect you.”
“I don’t care,” he replied, a bit ashamed and not believing it himself. He did care. Of course he did.
Was Dave right? Was he about to let his selfish nature keep you from what you deserved? Was he going to let you ruin your future?
“Yes, you do. I think deep down, you’re only just talking to me about it now because you knew that if you had done it before, you would have realized that you shouldn’t have started this. You need someone to shove you in the right direction. You knew that I would talk some sense into you because I have been there, although it was a bit different. Let her go, Aaron. For her sake more than yours.”
Aaron felt his breath catch in his throat, a part of him knowing Dave was right. He had to let you go. But he didn’t know how. “I don’t know if I can let her go.”
“Aaron, if you really love her, you have to. Isn't she the student you wrote the paper with?"
"Yes," he muttered, gritting his teeth.
"You told me she wants to be a professor,” Dave clarified.
"She does," he acknowledged. It was one of the first things you had talked about together.
"She’s never going to have a career in academia if you don’t let her go.”
Aaron felt his insecurities about his relationship with you grow exponentially in his mind. He felt excruciating pain blinding him from all sides as he realized what he had to do.
Was he selfish enough to keep you from everything you could become, from everything you would achieve, just because he was in love with you?
Haley resented him enough to cheat on him for years, she cheated even when she was going through chemo. What would happen if you started resenting him that much? Aaron didn't know if he could stomach that kind of pain.
Aaron downed his scotch and asked Dave for a refill before he drove to your apartment, gripping the steering wheel harder than ever before.
Aaron made his way up to you like a man about to be executed. He knew you’d never forgive him for this, but he would know that he had done right by you at least and it would be enough. It would be a small consolation.
You let him in with your usual breathtaking smile and Aaron could barely look you in the eye.
He had to say it before he fell to the floor, before he lost himself in the smile you were offering him as if he wasn’t about to punish you for allowing him to be a part of your life. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t watch you sacrifice all of it for me."
"What happened with Dave?" you asked, reaching for him.
Aaron moved away, his hands dangling in the air as if to warn you not to touch him. "It doesn't matter, Y/N. We can't do- I can't do this to you. We have to-"
He couldn’t even utter the words out loud, he choked on the agony of it all. It rendered him speechless and the burn in his chest was simply consuming him. Aaron finally looked up, his eyes welling up uncontrollably. He struggled to breathe through it.
His instincts told him to reach for you when he saw you tear up as well, your chin slightly shaking as you sniffled. He crossed his arms against his chest, preventing himself from reaching for you.
“If you’re leaving me because it’s what’s best for me, I won’t forgive you, Aaron. Not this time. If you’re leaving because you want to leave, fine. But if this is you being a self-sacrificing idiot, I’m not going to forgive you. I’m never going to forgive you.”
Aaron knew he had to be convincing but that didn't mean he could look you in the eye when he would inevitably hurt you, when he would lose you for good, when he would break the purest relationship he’d ever had beyond repair. For the rest of his life, he would be able to pinpoint the moment where he had hated himself the most.
He felt like he couldn't breathe but he knew he owed it to you to be a good man for once in his life.
"I'm done watching you choose me. We had our fun but this can't possibly be something more than that."
Aaron heard you weep silently and he could feel your pain. He heard you gasping for air before you put a hand over your mouth to silence your sobs and he focused on his shoes, fully aware that every time he would look down at them, he would know he had hurt you.
"You promised," you muttered, your pain even more evident as you said it.
"I'm sorry, an-" he paused, catching it just in time. “I’m sorry.” He truly meant it. He would be sorry for the rest of his life.
He felt a warm hand on his chest and he had to look up at this. Aaron didn’t know why you were touching him, but he would allow it. If it was the last time your hand was ever on him, if it was the last time he would ever see you up close… He had to do everything in his power to memorize your face and the feeling of your warmth on him. Somehow, you had allowed him to know what it was like to stand in the sun and he would be eternally grateful for that.
“You asked me not to break your heart. It never occurred to me to ask you not to break mine,” you whispered, a sob escaping your throat.
Aaron winced, shaking from the inner injury that was sending distressing pain signals around his entire body. "Y/N…" Aaron knew he couldn’t put his hand on top of yours, but he wanted to. He wanted to feel your hand one last time, too.
You finally met his gaze and the affection and tenderness you had for him were still staring back at him, and somehow, it made it worse when you sneered, “Well, I hope you had your fun.”
Aaron felt you trying to push him out of your apartment with the hand you had put on his chest and he knew he'd look back to this day and always regret letting you go. He would always regret losing you. But he would know you were happy and successful somewhere and perhaps it would hurt less.
He walked backwards, allowing you to push him out, but he had to say it, "One day, you’re going to look back and you’ll thank me for letting you go."
"Fuck you, Aaron," you replied, your voice biting and cracking at the same time as you wiped your eyes with your free hand.
"I really am sorry."
Your gaze was cold and unemotional this time, and he had been wrong. This actually hurt worse than the alternative. "I won’t ever thank you. I may not be the love of your life, but you’re mine. It’s all fine but don’t tell me I’ll be grateful because I’ll always remember this moment as you choosing to be a coward rather than facing the music with me. I’ll see you for your weakness down the road. I’ll remember that you left me alone when I made you promise not to."
Aaron made a move to turn around and leave before he could convince himself to hug you goodbye. He needed to let go. He needed to be able to let you go.
You fisted his shirt in your hand before he could leave and you brought him towards you in a swift move. Aaron allowed his body to follow, even if he was confused. “What are you doing?”
“I’m going to kiss you goodbye because I want to remember our last kiss.”
Kissing someone while being fully aware you were about to lose them hurt more than he ever thought it could. He hadn’t kissed Haley goodbye, and while he had been torturing himself for many reasons when Haley died, this was a new and intense level of pain. He gasped in your mouth as you deepened the kiss; it was as if you were trying to memorize every part of his mouth and Aaron tried to memorize how your lips felt against his, too. He committed to memory how your body melted into his as you kissed. He memorized the softness of your lips. Aaron would remember how tenderly you could kiss him even when he had hurt you. He tried to make sure he would always remember what it felt like to kiss you. He was incredibly aware that he would recall the exact moment when he had chosen to let go of the light you provided him; he'd remember this for the rest of his life.
He felt the melancholy and hopelessness of it all. He felt the despair you were feeling. He felt it, too. He was so in tune with you that when he started wailing into the kiss, he felt your tears mix with his. Aaron felt your combined tears fall onto your faces, able to taste them on your lips. He tried to rationalize that he wasn’t having a heart attack, that he was just setting you free. He was giving you the future you deserved, even if it meant he would be irrevocably shattered. He could deal with being a broken man and someone beyond repair. You had almost made him believe he could be fixed. You had almost succeeded in making him forget how much he hated himself.
He couldn’t and he wouldn’t pull away until you did. He’d take every second you would give. He would be selfish one last time.
You sobbed violently and he had to do his best to memorize the feeling of your palm in the middle of his chest as you gently pushed him away.
“We’re not friends this time. Stay away from me,” you warned, devoid of any emotion.
“Y/N…” he whimpered.
“No. We’re done. That’s what you wanted. Now, get out.”
Aaron nodded and he left, and he wasn’t aware how his legs carried him to his car, but he screamed as soon as he entered his car because your favorite song came on. He often listened to it in the car, it was the first song on his playlist and his phone paired up with the speakers almost as soon as he started the car, but this time, he wouldn’t listen to it. He couldn't listen to it.
He wiped his eyes, aware that driving while he wept would be dangerous. He put the car into drive and he tried to focus on the road.
He would never accept hurting you this way, but he would know he made the right decision eventually.
He spent the entire drive home wondering if the right decision should hurt this much.
Aaron parked outside, seeing Jessica and Jack in the window of the living room. He stood there, his back to his car door and he had to breathe in the cold November air for a long time before he went inside, his chest still too tight. He hadn’t drawn in a full breath since he left your apartment and he allowed himself one punch into the garage door, out of view, before he went inside. It didn't bruise but it would have felt better if it had.
He saw Jack and Jessica drawing around the coffee table and he thought about turning back, about going back to you to beg you to take him back, but he knew he had to be strong. He knew he had to ignore how hard it was to breathe.
Thankfully, Aaron was good at pretending. He had always been. He went about his routine with Jack and Jessica as if he was on auto-pilot and it worked right until he reached his bed and looked at one of the books on his bedside table. Crime and Punishment was your favorite book and he had wanted to read it again to talk about it with you. He had to bite into his fist forcefully to refrain from screaming, the heartache burning his whole chest and violently rattling him.
Aaron pondered whether the right thing was supposed to hurt this much again. He opted to allow himself a moment of total weakness and he let the tears and sobs overwhelm him, hopeful he'd fall asleep from exhaustion at some point.
You were worth the pain if it meant you had the brilliant future you deserved. He would have ruined you and he would have ruined everything you could have, it was better that it happened now rather than later.
Aaron slept for about two or three hours in intervals during the night before he gave up on the idea altogether. Closing his eyes meant he saw you more clearly and he couldn’t deal with all of it for now.
As he walked towards his office hours later, he saw the department head, Erin Strauss, motion for him to enter her office before he reached his. He went inside her office, choosing to stand rather than to sit.
"Good morning, Aaron."
"Morning," he replied.
Erin Strauss was not the kind of woman who dwelled in proper etiquette and greetings, so he was a bit surprised she didn’t just address whatever it was she wanted to say.
She pointed at the door behind him and Aaron knew it meant this was a conversation that had to take place behind closed doors. Aaron closed the door and he turned back to listen to whatever she wanted.
"I'm going to cut to the chase, a student from your crim psych class came to see me this morning. She let me know you were potentially displaying unethical behavior with another student. Care to explain?"
Aaron would usually be anxious, and even if he’d never let it show, right now, the only emotion he could feel wasn’t anxiety.
"Has a complaint been made?" he asked, keeping his tone even.
"I've been told you showed favoritism towards Y/N Y/L/N by this other student in the class. She wishes to remain anonymous as to not influence your judgment in grading her. Should I be concerned about you overstepping, Aaron?"
Aaron thought about who could have said something but it seemed blatantly obvious that the student you often called Chief Bitch was responsible for this whole thing. He still hadn’t learned her name and it was probably what made her so angry to begin with. You had mentioned she was looking at him inappropriately a few times too, so Aaron reckoned she was just jealous of the attention he was giving you.
Aaron would defend and protect you regardless of last night.
"No. Y/L/N helped me write a paper but I never favored her. I don't even grade her exams or her papers," he explained.
"Look, let me be honest here, Aaron. There are rumors going around the department that you are getting too close and personal with one of your students. She was seen in your office a lot. It's been going around for a few weeks but I didn't think anything of it because you're the most professional man in my department. But this anonymous student seemed genuinely concerned that you were taking advantage of Y/L/N."
Aaron shook his head, doing his best not to glare at the woman before him. "I can assure you that I am not."
At least, I am not anymore.
Strauss sighed. "Fine. You'll still need to meet with a third-party who will investigate this matter so we can put this behind us. Y/L/N will be asked to meet with them as well. You already know that H.R. committees usually handle these things. Oh, and I might need your email information for them to access your data. If they investigate and they agree that this is just a sick rumor, then we'll let it go.” Aaron nodded and Strauss continued, “But if they do find something, Aaron, believe me, I'll make sure you're buried in ethical red tape for the rest of your career at this university."
Aaron nodded again. "Duly noted, ma'am."
Aaron exited Strauss’s office and he went into his, closing the door behind him. He tried to breathe through the pain again but he had to let you know this was coming. He owed it to you to warn you.
He took out his phone and he sent you a text, aware that you probably wouldn’t respond. He wondered if you had deleted the picture you had taken at the beach already. He discarded that thought immediately because that was the kind of thought that would make him have a panic attack if he let it simmer for too long.
I need to speak to you. Call me. It’s urgent.
I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t.
He saw your caller ID almost instantly and he answered his phone, aware that he needed to be rational about this. You weren’t calling him to talk. There was a good probability you would never do that again.
“Hey. I just came in. Chief Bitch talked to my deparment head and they’ll investigate us. I don’t know what—I just wanted to warn you. A third-party will investigate. That means an H.R. committee. They’ll ask to meet with you.”
“I won’t tell if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“I’m not worried about that…” he replied, barely able to utter the words. He knew you wouldn't betray him. It didn't even occur to him that you would ever do this to him.
“Then what do you need?”
“Nothing, just—They’ll look at our emails at some point and at that point, they’ll know.”
“Our emails?” you asked, clearly confused.
“We used our university email addresses to talk at first.”
He heard you sigh before you spoke, “I have a friend who can help erase any evidence of our online relationship. Don’t worry about it.”
Aaron really didn’t want the emails to disappear. He didn’t want you to disappear. He didn’t want there to be a day when he would think he had made you up inside his head.
“Y/N.”
“This conversation never happened.”
Aaron heard you sigh before you hung up and he had to loosen his tie to try and breathe again. He found out last night that nothing really helped and he wondered if he would ever get to breathe normally again.
Aaron spent the next two weeks on auto-pilot. He had managed the art of answering Jessica and Dave with half-answers, and the only person who got his full undivided attention was Jack because Jack was the only thing that allowed him to feel human through all of it. He had to lie to Jack about you not coming over, but he couldn't bear to tell Jack you wouldn't be coming around anymore. At least not yet.
On the first of December, Aaron went to meet with the H.R. committee as planned to discuss his alleged relationship with you. Some part of him really hoped he’d run into you but Dave had told him you were being questioned before him and Aaron assumed you had left before he could even reach the building.
Aaron sat at the table, feeling three pairs of eyes on him all at once. "What is the nature of your relationship with Y/N Y/L/N?"
They didn't beat around the bush for once and he was grateful, but hearing your name was strangely painful combined with the word 'relationship'.
Aaron kept his voice even, cold and calculated. He could interview serial killers for research purposes, he could surely face an H.R. committee. "No relationship whatsover. She's a brilliant student and she has manifested an interest in making a career out of research and papers, so I suggested she write a paper with me. Which she did. End of story."
"We met with her before you. Seems like you're both sticking to the same story using pretty much the same phrases. Did you two plan this?"
"I never see my students outside of campus if that's what you're implying," Aaron replied. It was a lie, but it had been true until he met you.
“Not many emails either.” Aaron didn’t know how they hadn’t found the numerous personal emails you had exchanged but he went with it because you had said you had it handled. "Isn't it weird that the student who made the complaint mentioned to us before this meeting that Y/L/N doesn't show up for class anymore? Care to elaborate?"
Aaron was perfectly aware why you weren’t showing up to class. He was the reason why and he often thought of stopping by your place to check up on you, but the one time he did stop, Ethel didn’t even allow him to knock on your door. She had told him to leave with a kind gaze, a harsh tone, and a slipper in hand and while Aaron didn’t think she’d use it to hurt him, he didn’t want to find out.
"I don't know. Maybe she's sick. She's usually very advanced when it comes to the concepts we cover in this class so perhaps she decided to skip a few lectures. I don't know. Sometimes students skip classes to catch up on other things."
“At this time, we don’t have any reason to believe this is anything more than a professional relationship. We'll let Dr. Strauss know. You’re dismissed, Professor.”
Aaron didn’t breathe a sigh of relief until he was walking towards Dave’s office with Dave in tow.
Dave had told him he’d step in if needed, but what Dave didn’t know was that your friend had already saved you both. Aaron vowed to thank you soon enough.
Dave let him inside his office and Dave shut the door behind them before he turned to face Aaron.
"How'd it go?" he asked, trying to get Aaron to look him in the eye.
"Fine."
"Aaron."
Aaron was angry with Dave. Rationally, he knew Dave wasn’t responsible for his pain, but he blamed it on Dave nonetheless. "No, Dave. I'm not going to talk about this with you."
Dave tried to coax him into sitting down but Aaron wouldn’t have it.
"I'm a good listener. I can give some good advice."
Aaron scoffed, aware of the irony now. "David, you convinced me to let go of the love of my life. I know it was for her sake, but respectfully, there's no advice you could give that I would want to hear."
"The love- Aaron."
Aaron still couldn’t breathe and he knew why. After two weeks of not breathing, he knew why it hurt this much. "I made a mistake, okay? I never should have listened to you. I can't breathe. Ever since I- I can't breathe."
Aaron didn’t realize that voicing it out loud would make him shake and a wave of panic overwhelmed him. The thought of never holding you again tormented him. He didn’t realize his vision would black out as he tried to breathe through the pain. Letting you go was the greatest mistake he had ever made and he knew it. You had been right. There were other solutions and he should have faced the music with you. He should have let the relationship become public knowledge. Losing his job and damaging his reputation, they were better options than losing you. He knew letting you go was for your sake, but every night he thought about the promise he had made you, the promise he had broken. Every night he thought about how he broke your heart when he had asked you not to break his, not aware then that he would break his heart all by himself.
“What can I do? How can I help?” Dave asked, concern etched on his face.
Aaron couldn’t breathe and he sat on the couch, pulling on his hair as he ran his hands and fingers through it. He felt his extremities start to go numb and he knew he would have to find a way to breathe before he was brought to a hospital. “I need her.”
“Give me your phone.”
Aaron gave Dave his phone without arguing. He hoped Dave would call you just so you'd talk to him. Dave was aware that his passcode was Jack’s birthday because he was a good uncle to Jack, and Aaron made a mental note to remember that the next time he felt angry with Dave. The truth was, he sabotaged his relationship with you because he got scared for you. Again.
Dave left him alone for a few minutes and Aaron closed his eyes, trying to get lost in his head with memories of you.
"End of semester is just around the corner. Nothing will be unethical then," Dave declared as he re-entered his office.
Aaron was too hopeful when he saw December approach at first. Now, the end of the semester didn’t soothe him at all. Not if it meant he’d never see you again. He hadn’t seen you since that night and while you didn’t attend his class, you would have to take the final exam. You wouldn’t not take it. He knew you.
"She won't forgive me, Dave. I promised I wouldn't- She's done. There's only so many times you can hurt someone, you know. It hurts so much, Dave. Shit. I can’t breathe—"
Aaron unbuttoned a few buttons to try and breathe but it didn’t work. He felt a violent sob rattle his entire body, incredibly ashamed that he was losing it spectacularly in front of Dave. His ears were ringing and he would surely pass out if this went on any longer.
He didn’t hear the door open and close and he didn’t hear your footsteps.
What he felt instead was warmth and two arms he recognized hugging him, rocking him and soothing him. He felt fingers he would recognize anywhere running through his hair and he finally realized you were actually there.
“Breathe, baby. Breathe. Shh…”
Aaron focused on the sound of your voice as he allowed himself to breathe for the first time in two weeks. Aaron pulled you into him, smelling your perfume and your shampoo and he held on tightly, finally relaxing.
He shivered when you cupped his face gently, aware that he didn’t deserve your tenderness. He looked into your eyes and while he saw your pain, he also saw affection and he breathed deeply. He finally breathed fully. He closed his eyes, loving how your palm felt against his cheek.
“You’re okay,” you said, your voice soft.
Aaron nodded and while he saw you were concerned, you let go of him and you opened the door of Dave’s office, allowing Dave back in. Aaron wasn’t aware Dave had left at any point, but he was grateful you had brought him back from the abyss. He was grateful that even after everything, you had shielded him from his friend seeing him like that, at least partially.
Aaron watched you leave and he debated running after you. He was confused as to why you had even showed up to calm him, but he knew you were kind and decent. Dave had probably convinced you to do the right thing for him.
Aaron looked at Dave, still doubting whether he should run after you, whether Dave had anything to say about it.
"She told me to give this to you after your hearing. Go to your office to read it. I'm so sorry for everything. Go make it right, Aaron."
Aaron took the small envelope from Dave and he rushed towards his office to open what you had left for him before he would brave Ethel and go see you. He let himself in, not expecting to find you already in there waiting for him. He didn’t know how you had even gotten in but he shut the door and he locked it for good measure. He waited for you to break the silence. He owed it to you to let your say your piece first.
"Open the envelope, Aaron."
Aaron opened it and a wave of relief washed over him as he read the contents. He could finally breathe. He would breathe normally now. For the first time in two weeks, he was able to fill his lungs with air and not just for a small moment. His mind was finally quiet and his chest didn’t feel as though it had been cracked open anymore. He looked up at you and he smiled as tears welled up in his eyes, beyond relieved that you were already smiling at him as you reached for him.
----------------------------------
TW: Angst, unhealthy coping mechanisms, panic attacks, more angst, some hope?
A/N: “Without a word, without a greeting, without a single glance, they suddenly melted into the crowd, like two drops of water, like two grains of sand, like two tiny leaves, driven together by the wind." -Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment
This was my inspiration for this fic. That’s why reader loves this book. A little piece of me in there because why not!
Before I let you go, thank you for everything! Your comments, your likes, your kudos (on Ao3), your support in whatever form…
Thank you my dear silent readers who kept showing up, too. Each and every one of you who made it here, from the bottom of my heart, thank you!!
Until next time, buttercups!
As usual, this hasn't been proofread yet.
Aaron had found it easy to work under Dave when Dave had become the new department head. He was also so grateful because your relationship never became an issue. It was easy to look back now and remember everything fondly.
Every time he picked up his pen to write or every time he typed out on his laptop, he smiled as he saw the wedding band on his finger. Every time he opened his laptop, he smiled at the picture of you two that had been taken at the beach shortly after when you had first gotten together. It was still a favorite of his regardless of the hundreds of pictures you had taken since then.
He heard a familiar knock on his office door and he looked up, still amazed and smitten whenever you wore a summer dress. It shimmered in the light and you looked positively radiant, you always did. He had always been struck by your intelligence, your wit, but your beauty was out of this world. He counted his blessings every day that you had allowed him to marry you.
Aaron was so grateful because never again had he slipped back into the dark abyss, he stood in the light proudly every morning when he woke up next to you. He had found his soulmate and even if he would still never admit that to Ethel out loud whenever she came over for Sunday brunch for fear of being called a romantic fool, he knew he had found a soulmate in you even if the notion made him cringe when anyone else claimed they had found such a thing.
He felt a sense of peace and contentment wash over him as you visibly watched him daydream again and he knew it was a common happenstance since he had married you.
You walked into his office with a cup of coffee as you did most mornings, and he greeted you with a warm smile as usual.
"Ah, Professor Hotchner, to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" he said, leaning back in his chair.
You rolled your eyes playfully. "You know I prefer to be called by my first name, Aaron," you replied, taking a seat across from him.
He chuckled. “Fine. If that’s the case, you’re only my second favorite Hotchner."
Ever since you had married him, Aaron had taken to calling you ‘his second favorite Hotchner’ whenever you disagreed on something. He knew you loved it, especially since you both had the same first favorite Hotchner and he was currently undertaking a math test.
As you settled more comfortably into the chair in front of him, Aaron leaned back in his own seat, a mischievous glint in his eye. "You know, I was just thinking about the other Professor Hotchner," he said, a sly grin on his face.
You looked confused for a second, and he knew you still weren’t used to being called that. “There’s only one more.”
"Oh, I meant the one who married you," he replied with a chuckle.
“What about him?”
“He really loves the other Professor Hotchner.”
You scoffed and it made him proud to see you amused. “You really like to call me Professor Hotchner.”
“You seemed to enjoy calling me that once upon a time.”
"You know, I'm starting to think you married me just so you could have a colleague with the same last name," you teased.
He grinned. "Ah, you caught me. It's all part of my master plan to take over the academic world, one Hotchner at a time."
You laughed. "Well, I'm glad to be a part of it."
"So, what brings you to my humble abode today?"
You leaned forward, setting your bag on the floor and taking out your laptop that had surely done its time. He’d buy you a new one soon and you’d be mad, but he’d tell you to shut up and everything would be okay.
"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about the syllabus for our joint class next semester,” you said, your work voice firmly in place. Aaron admired your professionalism even more ever since you had joined the department.
And with that, Aaron and you launched into a productive conversation about your upcoming teaching plans and the textbook you were co-authoring.
As you wrapped up your daily meeting, Aaron stood up and walked around his desk to give you a quick kiss on the cheek, your promise to each other to remain appropriate in his office had only been broken once or twice.
"Well, Professor Hotchner, it's been a pleasure as always," he said with a smile.
You grinned back, a sight he cherished every time. "Likewise, Professor Hotchner. I'll see you at home tonight."
-------------
"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep, your eyes close."
Warnings: Tooth-rotting fluff (for real, book an appointment with your dentist, okay?)
Word count: 7.7k
A/N: This is the last chapter before the epilogue. Are you ready? I'm not. As usual, this hasn't been proofread yet.
"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather loved in spite of ourselves."
Just leaving this ⬇️ here for reasons. Thank me later.
You had missed Aaron so much in the past two weeks that you didn’t care if you died from him holding you too tight and cutting off your air flow. You would die happy knowing you had been wrapped in his arms even if he was about to crush every single one of your internal organs.
He was holding you so strongly against him that you could feel him quivering. You could feel his heartbeat and you certainly noticed him take a few deep breaths for which you were grateful for.
Aaron had you worried beyond reason when you saw him panic earlier and whether Dave had called or not, you would have been on your way to Aaron’s office after his meeting ended. It was only a matter of time before you saw him again but Aaron having a panic attack merely accelerated the process.
You had spoken with Dave last night, a very apologetic Dave at that. He had seen you at the café on campus and stopped by to talk to you. You had been a bit apprehensive at first but you had quickly realized he had come to you for Aaron, and whether the man had broken your heart or not, you loved him enough to hear Dave out as he explained everything that had happened the night of the mixer. Dave had explained and he had also mentioned every last detail of what went wrong with him and Michelle and why he had talked Aaron into letting you go and while you had almost envisioned a life in prison because he had talked Aaron into leaving you, Dave had also mentioned Aaron needed you. And it was so obvious that you needed Aaron, too. You had spent the last two weeks feeling like you barely existed and when Dave had sat in front of you last night, you let him explain everything before you admitted that you had planned to earn Aaron back.
Thus, you had boldly stated between sips of coffee that you were going to fight for Aaron the minute the semester was over in spite of what had happened, but Dave had interrupted you and guaranteed he’d do anything to protect you both so you didn’t have to spend another minute apart and miserable.
A plan was set in motion and you had organized everything, hopeful that Aaron would allow himself to be happy.
Dave had also helped you organize the contents of the envelope last night and this morning. In it, there was a note explaining that the USB key inside contained all the emails you had shared before your friend wiped out any evidence of your relationship with Aaron. And in the envelope, there were now two printed plane tickets. If all went according to plan, you and Aaron would be leaving for Venice the day after the semester ended. Dave had offered his villa and he had paid for the tickets, claiming he needed to do something nice for Aaron and you after this whole thing. He had mentioned that in the past year he had forgotten what it felt like to be so head over heels in love that nothing else mattered and he had said he was sorry repeatedly for everything that happened the night of the mixer. He had also explained how his ex-student Michelle had left him when things had gotten difficult and he had wanted to spare Aaron that same pain if he could. You could tell it came from the right place, but you would still accept Dave’s olive branch (which fortunately came in the form of plane tickets and a villa in Italy). From there, you had worked together to make sure Dave would let you into Aaron’s office after his meeting with the H.R. committee and you were there waiting for him when Dave had called you from Aaron’s phone.
You had been able to recognize that Dave had sincere intentions and a deep concern for his friend when he had expressed his regret for the whole thing again on the phone and you had accepted his apology on the spot because Aaron needed you.
While you still harboured some resentment towards Dave for forcing Aaron to end the relationship and putting him through this, you were conscious that Aaron had only done so out of concern for you. You knew Aaron enough to know that. Despite what he frequently asserted about himself, Aaron was not selfish at all; in fact, he was the best man you had ever known.
You hadn’t had to say much to explain that you truly loved Aaron more than the consequences could ever possibly scare you, and Dave seemed to grasp that Aaron and you shared something that defied logic and reason.
Jessica had shrieked so loudly into the phone when you first mentioned the trip to her this morning that you feared your eardrum had ruptured. She made a few remarks about how thrilled she was that Aaron would stop moping and mumbling a few words here and there, and she added that she would be more than happy to look after Jack while you were gone. You repeatedly informed her that Aaron still needed to say yes to the trip and to you first, but Jessica seemed convinced it was a done deal.
Needless to say, up until a few minutes ago, you had been a ball of nerves. You had witnessed Aaron having a terrifying panic attack and you had somehow managed to calm him down, but you still clutched to him right now like your life depended on it, mere minutes after he had walked into his office and read the contents of the envelope.
“I knew you’d get it,” you said, a sob escaping your throat. You were so relieved to be holding him again that all the pain he had caused you seemed irrelevant. It didn’t mean you weren’t upset because you were, but feeling him clutching to you like this silenced your thoughts.
“How could I ever forget? It’s the first song you shared with me,” he replied so quietly that it sounded as though he was fighting back tears.
You had put the printed plane tickets and a printed photo of Dave’s villa inside the envelope, and you had carefully placed a small post-it note on the tickets simply saying My heart is buried in Venice. Come help me find it?
It had indeed been the first song you had shared with him. It had also been the first time that your relationship had started to blossom outside the confines of your university roles and it all seemed like it had been ages ago now.
“Is that a yes?” you asked, your voice slightly uneven.
“Am I awake?” he muttered.
You grimaced trying to figure out if he was really asking. It broke your heart a little to see Aaron looking distraught enough to ask and you wondered how many times he had dreamt of hugging you in the past two weeks to doubt his own mind right now.
You moved away to wrap your arms around his neck because there was only one way for you to let him know he was awake. You perked yourself up to kiss him, grateful to feel his lips on yours again.
You smiled against his lips as he sobbed and moaned, and you gently caressed his face, letting your thumbs graze his cheeks. “You’re awake, Aaron.”
“I thought I’d never—”
You felt his knees buckle and you pulled him towards the couch, aware that you were both standing on shaky knees. You didn’t let go of him and neither did he let go of you; he pulled you onto his lap as you gestured for him to sit and he held on firmly, his nose buried in the crook of your neck. You combed your fingers through his hair, grateful to feel him around and under you.
“Dave explained everything last night. He felt terrible and that’s why he offered… Anyway, I swear I could have killed him when he first told me but I don’t think he had any ill intent. His ex, Michelle, she suffered a lot because of their relationship and she left him for it, you know.”
You knew Aaron knew; Dave had told you this much. You knew that if anything, it had only fueled Aaron’s desire to protect you from the possible ramifications this relationship could have on you if it came to light that you had started dating while he was in a position of authority over you.
“I know.”
You pulled away to look into his eyes and while he was clearly still reeling from it all, you could also feel some anger in your chest, a small reminder of the pain still lingering. “I’m not saying I understand, Aaron, I’m still really pissed. But I’m here because I refuse to lose you.”
Aaron nodded and he instantly recaptured your lips, kissing you with so much love you were about to pant inside his mouth.
Aaron cupped your face and he looked like he was trying to commit every last detail to memory. “I’m not sure I understand everything that’s going on right now, angel.”
You chuckled, a bit amused that he was a bit lost because you were, too. It relieved some of the stress and pain and you saw his shoulders sag in relief when he gave you a small smile. This whole thing had been difficult for him, more than you had imagined, and you understood why he was confused because he was far from having all the information.
“I’ll explain everything, but not now. Just hold me.”
Aaron pulled you back against his chest and he held you firmly as he buried his nose in the crook of your neck again. “I’ll figure out what to do about Jack but yes, I want to go to Venice with you.”
“I may have already worked that out with Jessica,” you explained.
“You did?”
You hadn’t mentioned that you and Jessica often texted since you had met her.
“Well, we talk, you know.”
“Does she know I—”
You moved to look into the dark brown eyes you had missed so much and you nodded with a smile. “Does she know you’re an idiot? Yes. To some extent. I left out a few things.”
Aaron sighed, his arms strengthening their hold around you. “That’s why she kept asking me about you.”
You tapped your fingers on his chest as you looked down. “I may have asked her to keep tabs on how you were doing.”
Aaron lifted your chin with gentle fingers and you met his gaze, a gaze that meant he didn’t mind you had asked Jessica to be kept in the loop.
You cupped his face and you noticed he was still a bit teary-eyed as he closed his eyes, clearly taking in the fact you were there and holding one another close again.
“I missed you,” he whispered.
You leaned down and your lips hovered just inches away from his. “I missed you, too.” You closed the distance and kissed him, careful to remain appropriate in his office as you once agreed you would. “What do we do now?” you asked, a bit unsure about what you were supposed to do.
Everything felt it would work out fine nonetheless, but you were a bit unsure as to how to proceed for the next two weeks. You had just been investigated for an inappropriate relationship after all.
“You won’t be my student anymore very soon.”
“What’s the plan then?” you inquired, ready to do whatever he wanted.
You thought about transfering to the University of Washington and commute just so this could happen but Aaron wouldn’t be your professor after this semester. If his name ever showed up on your schedule again, you could switch classes to have another professor. Aaron wasn’t the only one who taught the classes you might need to take with this department.
“We finish the semester and we go to Venice.”
“But in the meantime?” you asked, a bit worried that he would say you needed to stay away from him for two more weeks.
“Angel, I’ll do whatever you want.”
It was clear he meant that with every fiber of his being. You never doubted he’d do what you asked. It showed in everything he did that he loved you. You knew he did. You didn’t doubt he loved you regardless of what had happened and yet, saying ‘I’m falling for you’ or ‘I feel like I’ve been in love with you since I first saw you’ wasn’t the same as a full-on, plain ‘I love you’ and you really wanted to tell him that. It was so obvious that you did, even before now, but somehow, saying it would seal your fate and after having him hurt you, it was hard to justify saying it so freely, only minutes after making up.
Aaron rearranged your position so you were both lying on the couch and it occurred to you that you should leave his office at some point, but you let him drift off to sleep because it was clear he needed it and you allowed yourself to close your eyes as well, peaceful at last.
You woke up shortly after, infinitely grateful to still be pressed up against his chest. Aaron was clearly awake already, drawing shapes on your arm with tentative fingers as he kissed the top of your head repeatedly, as if to ground himself in the here and now.
You both lay there quietly for a while, only getting up when it started to get dark outside and you knew you had to go eat with Ethel any minute now before she started to worry, but not before you talked about it that you were both rested and your emotions weren’t running as high.
Aaron picked up a few things from his desk and you sat on it in front of him, intent on talking about this and stopping him from avoiding it.
“Before we go, can we talk about it?”
Aaron frowned but he nodded nonetheless. "Sure."
You could tell he was more composed now, but you still sensed he was a bit unsteady emotionally.
"Why?" you asked.
You didn’t need to say more than that. You knew why to some extent but you needed to hear him out. You knew Dave had convinced him he would be hurting you and your future, and while you had told Aaron you didn’t mind, Aaron was nothing if not a self-sacrificing idiot, as you often told him.
"Dave got in my head and I thought about you resenting me because— anyway, I guess I thought I’d be protecting you," he replied, unable to look you in the eye. It was obvious that he was aware that he had fucked up.
You put a hand on his chest and he moved closer to you, allowing you to put your legs around his waist. "I told you not to be an idiot. You broke my heart."
He put his hand on top of yours and it hit you how you had missed feeling how warm his hands always were.
"I know, angel. I’m sorry. If it’s any consolation, I broke mine as well.”
You fisted his shirt and you pulled him towards you even more, hugging him firmly. You tried to let him know you wouldn’t let go if you could help it, but you were still upset.
“Sorry’s not good enough. You’ll have to make it up to me.”
“I know. I will. I’m sorry."
You pulled away to look into his eyes, cupping his face with a small smile. "Just believe me when I say you’re worth it and please… stop being sorry."
Aaron offered you a small smile back and he cupped your face tenderly. “I love you.”
You felt your entire body shake because nothing had prepared you for Aaron saying those three words to you, even if you knew he felt them. "What?"
Aaron leaned forward, planting a small kiss on your forehead before he looked into your eyes again. “I don’t know why I didn’t tell you before. At least not directly. But… I—It just… I love you.”
“Oh, Aaron.”
"You know, I came home one night last week and I made myself some dinner since Jack was already in bed. I opened a bottle of your favorite wine and I poured two glasses out of habit without realizing it and when I sat down and looked at the full glass in front of me, in the spot where you usually sit when you come over, I knew I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering what a life without you would be like," he choked on the final words and a sob evidently got caught in his throat.
"Aaron." You tried to stop him from talking to say you loved him back but he seemed to want to get a few things off his chest and you would allow him a safe space to do just that.
“I went to see you the following morning, but Ethel stopped me.”
“She’s very protective of me,” you clarified. Ethel hadn’t mentioned it and you knew she had probably tried to shield you from Aaron after you had cried on her couch for hours.
“She is.”
"I think you’ll have to make it up to her, too.”
Aaron smiled more confidently now and a hand came to rest on the side of your neck as he gazed into your eyes. “I promise I will.”
He looked more composed already so you brought up the main issue again. “You left me. When I asked you not to.”
"I know. I’m sorry. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you’ll let me. I love you.”
You felt him tremble into the embrace you pulled him into and you didn’t want a repeat of the panic attack he had earlier because it had scared you to the bone to see him struggle to breathe. You smoothed your hands over his back to try and calm him down.
“Breathe, baby.”
“Fuck-- I don’t like knowing this for a fact but I need you just as much as I need air.”
“Aaron, please breathe,” you paused, making sure he was looking at you when you said it back. "I love you, too. Even if you hurt me. Even if you broke your promise. I guess I have no self-preservation skills because I love you. I really do. More than I ever thought it possible to love someone. I still want you. I always will. And while you didn’t say you loved me outright before now, I knew."
“You did?”
“Yes.”
He hadn’t said it but you knew, you had known even when he had broken up with you that he did which was probably why it had hurt even worse.
He leaned down, a few tears escaping his eyes making you want to kiss them away one by one.
"I love you," he uttered against your lips, sealing your lips in a breathtaking kiss before you could reply.
You fisted his shirt again as you kissed him back. You allowed the kiss to go on a little and when he pulled away, you gave him a small smile before releasing your hold on his now very rumpled shirt.
"And I love you even if I’m still fucking mad at you."
"I know. Take it out on me for as long as you need. Throw it in my face as many times as you need to. Just please don’t go.”
You grabbed his face to make sure he was looking at you. “Promise me never to do that again.”
Aaron shook his head and he planted a soft kiss on your forehead. “Never. I’m so sorry, angel.”
You needed him to know you forgave him. He may have put you through hell but he was so worth it. He was worth the pain because while he put you through hell, he also let you taste a little bit of heaven whenever you were with him.
“I’m mad but I still forgive you, Aaron. Stop apologizing, okay? I know I said some things about not forgiving you that night, but I know you, baby. I know why you do stupid things like letting me go and while you can’t do that ever again, I know why you did what you did, even more so since I spoke with Dave last night. I forgive you. I forgave you the second you kissed me goodbye.”
“That was the most painful thing I ever had to do,” he admitted, breathlessly.
“I know. Me too. But I understand. I don’t, but I do. You are a good man and while I know why you’re a self-sacrificing asshole, please, don’t ever put me through that again.”
A sob escaped his throat as he leaned down towards you and he kissed your cheek softly. “I promise.”
You were both worn out from the emotions that had been running high today and it was time to let him go home to rest. You grabbed his face to plant a kiss on his forehead as Aaron held your waist and you told him you loved him a few times before you left to go eat with Ethel.
You told Ethel all about it that night. The whole story. You didn’t leave out anything and you were grateful that Ethel promised to forgive Aaron, too.
You spent the last two weeks of the semester in somewhat of a daze of finals, coffee and papers. Aaron showed up with wine and coffee as much as he could, he made sure to show you he loved you every chance he got and before you knew it, you were only one night away from your upcoming trip to Venice with Aaron.
You were unable to contain your excitement because this trip was going to grant you six uninterrupted days with Aaron, but also because it would be the start of your ‘public’ relationship as far as outsiders would know.
Fortunately, the trip to Venice was a blessing regardless of the rain and weather you got while you were there. It was only a minor inconvenience when you actually left the villa, but of course, leave it to you and Aaron to come back during the ‘snowstorm of the century’ as the media put it.
“Of course we had to come back during a snowstorm,” he declared, a bit angry not to be able to go home and surely feeling as jet-lagged as you were.
You had noticed on the trip that he was a bit grumpy sometimes and you loved kissing his frown away.
You took in the beautiful sight outside and it was clear you couldn’t go anywhere right now.
“We can’t drive in this.”
Aaron pointed at the hotel not far from the airport. “We’ll sleep at this hotel for tonight. I’ll let Jessica know.”
Aaron insisted on picking up your things and carrying them to the hotel as you walked into a blizzard and when you realized the frown was starting to make a comeback, you crouched to pick up some snow. Aaron instantly stopped and looked over at you, surely wondering why you had stopped walking when you were both not wearing winter clothes warm enough for you to stop.
You grinned instantly when you noticed you had his attention and you got up swiftly to throw fluffy and powdery snow in his face (because you had been unable to make a snowball). Aaron sighed and just looked at you, but the frown disappeared as he dropped the luggage in the snow and crouched, throwing snow back at you. You giggled loudly as it started to melt on your face and you took in the sight of Aaron’s face and hair covered in snow as well. A fight of snow throwing broke out and before you knew it, Aaron fell flat on his ass on your luggage. You couldn’t stop laughing but you still checked on him to make sure he was okay. Aaron grabbed you and pinned you in the snow under him, laughing at your shocked expression before he planted his lips on yours, his frown completely gone.
You vowed to always do anything you could to make his frown disappear even if he was cute when he was grumpy.
You cupped his cheek, aware that you were about to freeze and by the snow covering you which would melt and turn you into an icicle if you didn’t get to the hotel soon, but you loved these little moments you shared with him. They reminded you that in spite of the seriousness of life itself, happiness was easy with Aaron by your side.
“I love your laugh.”
“I love that you can make me laugh even when I don’t want to,” he replied, a wet smile plastered on his face as snow continued to melt.
He helped you up before he picked up the luggage again and you both headed towards the hotel before you froze to death.
It wasn’t long before you walked into the room and Aaron instantly attacked your neck with hungry lips but you felt his kisses become messier by the second. You softly caressed his nape and Aaron relaxed into your hand, his lips stopping their sloppy assault on your neck.
He moved to hug you instead, both wet and cold and he planted a long kiss on your forehead.
“I know we usually-- But I’m so jet-lagged.”
You let out a sigh of relief as you hugged him tighter. “Oh, thank God. I don’t think I have it in me right now,” you replied.
You had had plenty of sex in Venice and each time was more spectacular than the last, but you were beyond exhausted, jet-lagged and slightly disappointed not to be able to go home.
You still showered together, Aaron had made a comment about needing to keep you warm which you had laughed at, and while you both let your hands linger on each other’s bodies in the shower and you both held each other without leaving space between you, it was just about intimacy, not sex. You always longed to feel him close to you, regardless of the intent behind the gestures, but this was nice.
You both passed out in bed before you even knew what was happening, but you were so happy to wake up in his arms again. This had been one of your favorite things about the trip; you got to wake up with Aaron every morning.
Aaron held you against his chest and he sighed happily as you perked yourself up to kiss him good morning as you had done this past week.
“We should do this more often.”
“Not fuck?” you teased.
“No,” he said, his voice betraying he was slightly alarmed that you would entertain the notion of being less sexually active when your sex life was this great. You patted his cheek to let him know you were kidding as you smirked and he motioned for you to lay back in his arms. “I meant waking up together.”
“I’d love that,” you replied.
“I’m going to clear out a drawer for you and make some space in my closet,” he stated matter-of-factly, like it was the most normal thing to say.
You thought he was joking, so you added to the joke, “Where are you going to put all of your beautiful suits?”
“I can hire a contractor and we can have him build a bigger closet.”
Was he not joking?
Wait a minute. We?
“We?” you croaked out.
“I want a life with you.”
You looked into his eyes then, finding him dead serious. The only natural response was an easy one even if you weren’t sure this wasn’t a fever dream. “Well, I want a life with you, too. But--”
“I’d like for you to eventually live with me and Jack, so anything I can do to make it feel like it’s your home, too, you tell me and I’ll do it.”
You moved away from him to get up but Aaron held you back before he sat up in bed with you.
“Hold up now! A month ago you broke up with me and now you want me to move in with you?” you asked, genuinely confused.
Aaron chucked dryly. “I can see where that you would be confusing, believe me.”
You smirked widely. “Good. I’m glad you can,” you replied sarcastically, a small chuckle escaping your throat betraying your nervousness.
“Two weeks apart-- That is more than enough for a lifetime. I don’t want want to be away from you. Not now and not ever again.”
“But, Aaron—”
“We were jet-lagged together in Venice, we encountered some poor weather, your shoes and socks were soaked on the second day and we were together 24/7 for more than a week and we’re still jet-lagged. If anything should have scared me about us living together, it would have happened already,” he paused, pulling you in for a hug before he took a deep breath, “You’re the love of my life and I want a life with you. Not just weekends or a few hours here and there.”
“I don’t know what to say. It’s a huge step. Plus, Ethel… And I wouldn’t know how much to pay you for rent. Surely a house costs more than my apartment—"
“Ethel is always going to be welcome at our place. You won’t pay a dime until you’re done with your degree and we’ll talk about it then, but I have more money than Jack and I will ever need so just… please? I really want you to think about it.”
You were too shocked to comprehend everything so you just nodded as Aaron pecked your lips. “Okay. I will.”
He looked overjoyed that you had agreed to think about it and he held you close until you got up. Aaron eventually got up as well and he pulled the drapes to look out the window as you joined him to look and you put your arms around his waist from behind, planting a kiss in the middle of his back.
“Jack’s going to be over the moon there’s this much snow.”
“I love to play in the snow,” you admitted. It was something you remembered enjoying with your dad before Marianne entered the picture. You had fond memories in the snow.
“Come home with me?” he asked.
You would be saying yes but you really needed decent coffee. “I will on one condition.”
Aaron turned into the embrace, resting his chin on top of your head as you buried your face into his chest. “Anything you want, angel.”
“Can we stop for coffee?”
Aaron chuckled and you loved how that felt when his body shook against your cheek.
“You got it.”
Aaron called ahead of time that you were both about to get there and you got to exit Aaron’s car and walk towards the house as Jack rushed outside, running to hug Aaron. You had a feeling he wasn’t used to his dad being away all that much. Much to your surprise, Jack ran towards you seconds after, hugging your legs firmly. You crouched to hug his tiny frame and you whispered in his ear that you’d both choose a movie to watch together later today, and that you’d be glad to ignore Aaron’s protest if he disapproved of your choice of movie.
You felt something hit your back and you turned around to see Aaron smirking. It was clear he had rolled up a snowball and shot it at you.
“Oh no, you didn’t!” you called out, faking indignation.
Aaron shrugged with a small smirk, a smirk you often saw on Jack’s face as well. “Well, I had to get back at you for attacking me last night.”
You saw Jack and immediately, it was agreed that this wouldn’t be allowed. You were thick as thieves and you were silently grateful that Jack often took your side.
“Come on, Jack!” You both ran and tackled Aaron’s legs, making him stumble and fall into a pile of snow, not without him bringing you both down with him.
He laughed loudly with you and Jack as you tried to bury him in the snow. Only Jack was equipped not to get wet from all the snow, but it was worth getting wet and subsequently freezing just to see Aaron this happy.
“We should make some angels in the snow!” you declared as Jessica joined you outside.
You all did just that but Aaron and you were surely about to catch a cold if that went on.
“Hot cocoa?” he suggested after a while.
“Oh, please!” Jack replied enthusiastically.
“With marshmallows?” Aaron suggested.
You and Jack both answered at the same time, “Yes!”
“Anything for my snow angels.”
Jessica gave Aaron a look at that and you knew that had it not been for Jack, she would have teased him about this cute comment.
You picked up Jack and you watched Aaron say goodbye to Jessica, allowing her to go home and rest. She came towards you and Jack to hug you goodbye and you slowly made your way into the house with Jack, leaving her with Aaron for a few minutes.
It occurred to you once inside that you didn’t have any more clothes with you, everything from the trip needed washing. You made some hot cocoa nonetheless and you stood at the counter while Jack blew on his hot cocoa, making sure not to sit anywhere.
Jack giggled funnily and you gave him a look. “What’s up, Jackers?”
Aaron let out a low chuckle from behind you, alerting you of his presence innocently enough but you played the part for Jack and acted surprised when his arms came around to settle around your waist. Jack found it infinitely funny that Aaron and him had managed to ‘surprise’ you and you turned around to allow Aaron to hold you before you offered him a cup of hot cocoa.
“I’m soaked.”
Aaron looked down at both of you and he smiled. “Me too.” He kissed your forehead before he looked at Jack sipping carefully on the hot cocoa you had made for him. “Maybe we could get into our PJs and watch television all day.”
Aaron offered to lend you some clothes to allow yours to dry and he decided to wash the contents of your luggage for you. He came back into the living room after he told you he was going to put your clothes into the washing machine, a small smile on his face and a twinkle in his eyes you couldn’t quite place.
You were sitting with Jack on the couch, Jack snuggled up against you. Aaron came over and he sat next to Jack, leaving Jack in a sandwich in the middle of you.
Aaron furrowed his brow as he looked at the television and your choice of movie.
“Are you making Jack watch High School Musical with you again?”
“What do you mean ‘again’? It’s only happened twice for movies 1 and 2. This is number 3. Besides, shut it, you love it, too.”
Aaron shook his head but you could tell he was more amused than he was displeased. “I really don’t.”
You were well into the movie when you heard soft snores beside you, realizing that Jack had fallen asleep on you.
Aaron noticed too and he squeezed your shoulder. “I love this,” he whispered, an affectionate glance directed at you and his son’s sleeping form.
You smiled fully, feeling that familiar warmth in your chest whenever you were with him grow exponentially because another Hotchner had found his way into your heart unexpectedly.
“I love this, too,” you whispered back, watching Jack sleep snuggled against you.
Aaron got up and he picked up Jack to go put him to bed and he came back as you watched the third movie, knowing full well you would have to watch it again with Jack soon.
“Is he down for a nap?” you asked as he sat next to you, instantly having you melt into his side.
Aaron nodded, placing a gentle kiss on the top of your head. “I’ll wake him in an hour. Don’t want him to sleep too much in the afternoon usually. Makes him grumpy.”
You smiled at that, aware that while Jack looked a lot like Haley from some pictures Aaron had showed you, Jack frowned and smiled just like his dad.
“He has the cutest little frown though. Just like his daddy.” You moved to kiss Aaron’s cheek just when Can I Have This Dance? came on the screen. It was your favorite song of the entire franchise. You pointed at the screen as the actors started to sing and dance and you smiled broadly. “I think I would let you dance with me like that.”
“You would, huh?” Aaron got in front of you and he pulled you to your feet with a smile. “Can I have this dance?”
“Now you like it and you want to be cute? You didn’t want any witnesses, did you?” you teased.
Aaron started swaying you around his living room gently as he pulled you flush against him. Your hands immediately went to his hair, caressing it as he gave you a look that was nothing short of pure adoration. He let his hands roam over your entire back before he let his fingers lift the hem of the hoodie he had lent you, just enough that you felt warm fingers on your bare skin.
“Do you watch these movies because you think that boy is cute?”
You chuckled, amused with the idea but picking up on the fact that Aaron was jealous. “Zac Efron? Aaron… please… I grew up with a crush on Captain Von Trapp.”
“Alright. So I guess your taste is—”
You looked up at him as you softly caressed the bottom of his hair again, loving how he became putty in your hands each time you did, allowing your fingers to smooth over his nape and feeling how much he loved your hands on him where your core met his.
“My taste is you. Just you,” you offered with a smile, opting to reassure him that you would never look at another man the way you were looking at him right now.
He gave you a heartwarming smile, clearly happy with that information. “You really like musicals, don’t you?”
“Think you can live with that?” you asked. It was implied that this meant he would be subjected to more musicals if you actually went through with his crazy plan to live together already.
“I like them, too.”
“You like the classics, though,” you defended.
Aaron seemed to pick up on the fact that this was about more than just the musicals and he looked deeply into your eyes, caressing your face with gentle hands. “I’ll watch anything you want me to watch for the rest of my life, angel.”
You grinned, overly happy with his promise and you gave him a teasing smirk that meant it hadn’t gone unnoticed by either of you that this was your silent way of asking whether he was still serious about this whole thing.
You kissed him to let him know that you had loved his answer and Aaron returned the kiss while he continued to dance with you in the middle of his living room while you were both wearing sweats.
“That’s great because we’re watching The Greatest Showman tomorrow when I come over.”
“Isn’t that boy in that one, too?” he asked, teasing you.
You frowned as you thought about it, but you nodded. “Happy coincidence, but I prefer Hugh Jackman.”
Aaron chuckled and he planted a small kiss on your temple. “Of course you do.” He let his hand wander down your back, lower than usual whenever you were at his place. “Stay the night tonight?” he said as he surprisingly dipped you, a faint smile showcasing his beautiful dimples.
You giggled as he brought you up again, aware that dancing with Aaron would become a favorite of yours if he continued to demonstrate such great skills.
“Here? I don’t have any more clothes.”
Aaron kissed you and this time, the kiss wasn’t as gentle. His tongue met yours before he nibbled on your lower lip, making you moan into his moan almost instantly. He once again buried his hands under the hoodie he had given you, his warm hands intoxicating on your skin.
“You can borrow mine. Please, just-- Stay with me,” he pleaded.
It occurred to you that you couldn’t say no to him even if you tried. “Okay.”
It wasn’t long before it was nighttime and you thought Aaron looked to be rushing Jack’s nighttime routine, but you got involved and read Jack as many stories as you could before he fell asleep in his new Star Wars sheets.
Aaron smiled broadly at his sleeping son and he placed a gentle kiss on Jack’s forehead to bid goodnight before grabbing your hand and bringing you into the hallway that led towards his bedroom.
You had done many things together, but staying over at his place was new territory. Getting to share his bed was something you hadn’t done before and you felt like you were on the threshold of something more, much much more as you allowed him to pull you into his bedroom.
You had been in here before, but you had never slept or done anything in his bed and you had certainly never slept over here.
You had never woken up here, sharing a domesticity with him and Jack that you only allowed yourself to crave but wouldn’t admit.
Your lips met his, soft and warm, and a shiver ran throughout your whole body because this was it. There was a weight behind every motion tonight.
You felt Aaron’s hands on your lower back, pulling you closer, and you wrapped your arms around his neck. Your mouths moved flawlessly together, they always had, and his lips parted for your tongue to explore every inch of his mouth as you often did.
Aaron moaned into your mouth and he adeptly removed the hoodie he had lent you, going back to kissing you without losing a beat as soon as he had discarded it.
He got closer to you and the sensation sent a rush of heat through your veins. He traced his fingers along your spine, and you gasped into his mouth, feeling a surge of pleasure start to simmer in your lower stomach.
You could feel his heartbeat pounding against your chest, and you wondered if he could feel yours racing just as fast. You were lost in the moment, caught up in the intensity of the kiss. As you pulled away, your eyes met, and you both smiled, faces flushed with desire. You leaned up to kiss him again, savoring the sensation of his lips on yours, a sensation you would always cherish.
As you held each other close, you knew that you never wanted to let go of him.
You removed his t-shirt and you let your hand brush against his skin, letting your fingers trail down to his waistband. You opted to take your time because one thing was clear from this moment on, you would have a life together.
You put your arms around his neck again, feeling the bare skin of his chest meeting yours. It never ceased to amaze you how warm he was.
“Is this okay?” he whispered, going to kiss your neck. His question was about more than just him touching you and you got that he was asking for way more than just this. It was a loaded question that encompassed way more than just staying over, than sharing his bed, than waking up in the house where he lived with Jack. He was asking if you were okay with sharing a life with him. He was asking if you were ready.
Your eyes fell shut instantly at the feeling of his mouth and lips on your neck.
It was easy to know what your answer was to any of the things he was asking right now. “More than okay,” you replied, almost panting in need.
You had been aroused by him before, you had been excited before, but this was strangely new because there was an undertone to this. Getting to sleep with him here, in his house, it meant that this was it and that you were sealing your fates together. You were both leaping and not looking back.
You could feel his clothed erection against your stomach and you knew he was more aroused because of the promise your answer had provided. It meant that you were in this together and nothing would ever bring you apart again. From now on, you would be sharing a life together.
“You are mine,” he paused, his darkened eyes darting to yours. His gaze flickered to each of your eyes in quick succession as he took in a deep breath. “Forever mine,” he added, his voice barely above a whisper.
You had known that this was about more than just spending the night and you had been right. You didn’t think he’d actually say it because you understood each other on a level that was unparalleled and indescribable. He didn’t need to say it but he had, clearly aware that you would enjoy having him spelling it out for you. The implications of this interaction would be scary with anyone but Aaron, but his declaration was actually freeing because the prospect of being forever his was all you needed, it was all you would ever need and want, and it was clear that being Aaron’s forever was the best gift this life would ever grant you.
You smiled, pulling his face towards yours. “Aaron, it just took you a while to understand it but I was always yours.”
If you’re standing with your suitcase
But you can’t step on the train
“Do you have everything?” You asked nervously, chewing on your bottom lip.
“Yes Y/n.” Calum replied rolling his eyes.
This was the fifth time you’ve asked.
“You have your ticket? Your passport? And you’ll remember to-”
“-call you when I get there yes. Stop worrying babe! I’ve done this a hundred times I know the drill.” Calum insisted chucking slightly, placing his arms lightly around your waist.
“I can’t believe you’re already leaving.” You complained, placing your forehead on his chest.
It was as if one moment, you were driving him home from the airport and the next you’re right back here again.
“I know it sucks but it’s for two weeks and I’m back!” He said feebly trying to cheer you up. “You know you could always just-”
“-I’m not getting a dog Calum.” You interrupted, rolling your eyes at him.
“But I saw this really cute one in an adoption website!” He pleaded. You shook your head, avoiding looking at his face because he’s for sure pulling the puppy dog eyes.
“And I’ll make time to feed it and take care of it how? After uni? After work?” You asked. Calum changed tactics quickly and began pouting.
“Flight 214 to Los Angeles, this the last call for boarding.” A voice blared through the speakers, making you both look up.
“Oh no, no no no.“ You cried, tightening your grip on Calum.
“I’m sorry I have to leave you baby. I love you so much.” He whispered kissing you.
“This is the last call, flight 214 to Los Angeles.” The voice in the speakers repeated, breaking your kiss.
Calum hugged you tightly one last time before hurrying through the gateway. He stopped by the doors to briefly turn towards you before Luke came racing behind him and pulled him away.
But you just can’t hide the pain
Still setting two plates on the counter but eating without you
You quickly placed two plates on the table, your eyes kept drifting to the clock on the wall. Calum usually comes home by now- then you remembered, he’s on tour Y/n you idiot. You then sighed heavily, trying to ignore the emptiness of the house all of a sudden and put his plate back.
You switched on the tv, hoping for some sort of distraction when Calum’s face popped up on the screen. For a second you stared at it blindly before realizing it was the She’s Kinda Hot music video. There was just no escaping him. You frowned at the screen before picking up your phone and calling him and having it go to voicemail.
If the truth is you’re a liar
Then just say that you’re okay
Calum frowned at his phone, staring at the two missed calls from you. It was 5 am where you were and there was no way you were awake with all the workload you’ve been hauling.
“You alright mate?” Ashton asked, gulping down some water from his bottle. Calum gave him a look before holding up his screen for Ashton to see. Ashton squinted at it and then scrunched up his face.
“Fuck timezones huh?”
“Fuck timezones indeed.”
Calum waited for two hours, just tweeting fans and killing time by playing Fifa with Luke before he tried calling you again, but it went straight to voicemail. He let out a strangled cry, frustrated. He knew how much you hated him leaving and he couldn’t even reach you and he was starting to become really agitated.
“Woah, what’s wrong?” Luke asked, glancing at Calum in concern.
“I can’t talk to Y/n, she’s not answering.” Calum said.
“Maybe she’s asleep, don’t get so worked about it, time zones are pretty tricky things.” Luke offered. Calum shook his head, there was a sinking feeling in his stomach that he couldn’t explain.
“There’s something wrong I just know it.” Calum replied urgently. “Fuck why won’t she just pick up!”
“Calum just calm down.” Luke said, furrowing his eye brows at him. Calum shook his head.
“There’s something really wrong Luke, I don’t know why I think this but I have a really bad feeling.” Calum admitted. Luke nodded and left the room, only to come back with Calum’s writing notebook and pen.
“Wanna write about it?” Luke asked, holding it up. Calum nodded and in a split second he was jotting words down.
I’m sleeping on your side of the bed
Goin’ out of my head now
You checked your phone one more time, praying that Calum had replied but only to be bombarded with emails from your professors and texts from your friends.
But nothing from Calum.
There was no point in wasting your energy and staying awake for him to call you decided, you had a morning class tomorrow after all.
You changed and crawled onto Calum’s side of the bed, hoping it would lessen the hollowness in your bones start to settle in, and you could feel the tears start to trickle down your face not knowing that Calum was trying to reach you.
But something pulls you back again
I’m sitting here trying to persuade you like you’re in the same room
“Calum? Hello? Can you hear me?” You asked. Calum’s heartbeat sped up at the sound of your voice. He stumbled across the arena, trying to find a good cell signal.
“Y/n! Hello, how-how are you? I miss you so much.” He rushed out, finding a quiet spot. He knew he didn’t have much time.
“I’m fine just kinda stressed I have a terrible History seminar coming up.” You explained, you voice cracking slightly. Calum squeezed his eyes shutting wishing he was there with you.
“You’ll do great babe, I just know it. You’ve never gotten a bad grade once and I’m sure you won’t get it this time.” Calum declared, adjusting the strap of his bass.
“I hope so, I mean I still have a fair amount of chapters to go over and I don’t have too long to-”
“Calum! We’re on in a minute!” Calum cursed mentally before making shooing gestures at Ashton who shit him an apologetic look before leaving.
“-do-do you have to go now?” You asked. Calum’s lips set in a thin line before he answered.
“No! I still have a little time-” He lied, trying to cover it up.
“Cal, it’s okay.” You answered, swallowing thickly. ”Go live your dream.” Calum flinched at your statement, it felt like a slap in the face even though he knew that’s not how you meant.
“I’m sorry I’ll call right after the interview promise.” Calum said quickly. You forced a smile on your face even though he wouldn’t see it.
“It’s okay.”
Now they say I’m wasting my time
‘Cause you’re never comin’ home
“So Y/n did you think you did good?” Your friend asked as you both, left the exam hall. You breathed out a sigh of relief.
“I think I’m gonna get a decent grade.” You replied, trying not to overthink your answers.
“Oh please, you studied so hard for it I know you’re gonna get a good grade.” Your friend said snorting.
“I guess it’s what you get to actually study!” You joked.
“Well it’s not like you have any distractions Y/n, Calum practically is never home.” Your friend wondered out loud, making you flinch, at the thought of the text Calum was yet to reply to.
“It can’t imagine being away from your boyfriend it must really suck.” You friend finished, shaking her head.
“We make it work.” You replied proudly, trying to ignore the voice in the back of you heard.
“Honestly, if it was me I’d dump him and date someone from here. Rockstar or no, I need my daily requirements of cuddles fulfilled.” You friend said nonchalantly.
“But then again, lucky you, you can pay attention.” Your friend replied, rolling her eyes before divulging into a story of how her boyfriend distracted her.
“Yeah,” You forced another smile on your face. “Lucky me.”
But they used to say the world was flat
But how wrong was that now?
“What the hell? What’s going on here?” Michael asked Calum. Calum was running around frantically, trying to think of a good response to the text you sent him; What’s happening to us?
He didn’t know what to tell you or to himself for that matter. He was terrified of giving you the wrong response what if you left him? It would kill him. There was only a few more days to go. You were strong enough right?
“Calum! Okay that’s it I’m calling a bandtervention.” Michael announced making Calum stop.
“A what?”
“A band intervention, bandtervention.” Michael explained, grinning. “We need to get you back in the game.”
If you ever come back
There’ll be a smile on my face and the kettle on
And it will be just like you were never gone
“What the hell?” You whispered to yourself, you rubbed your eyes open, shooting up awake when you heard noise coming from outside. You instinctively grabbed the Order Of Phoenix book on your bedside before quietly sneaking out of the room.
“Oh my god.” You dropped you book and ran towards Calum, who was in the kitchen plating up waffles. You quickly were engulfed in a tight hug and you breathed in his scent.
“You weren’t supposed to be back for another three days!” You cried.
“Yes, but I wrote a new song, so Zoe cut me a deal.” He replied smiling wide.
“You wrote a song? What about?”
“You actually, us. This. Being away from you was so hard, that I had to be writing to distract myself.” He confessed, looking down at his feet now. You knew that feeling all too well.
“I missed you so much too. I had to distract myself with History.” You joked weakly. He rolled his eyes and grinned at you.
“I didn’t realize Harry Potter counted as history.” Calum teased. “Nice weapon choice by the way.” You shot him a mock glare.
“This would’ve totally crushed you and besides I got a 90% on my seminar thank you very much.”
“We should celebrate that 90% Miss. Y/l/n, but we gotta have the waffles before they get cold first.” He told you, placing a square of butter on the stack.
You let yourself bask in the moment.
“I’m glad you’re back.” You said honestly.
”I’m glad to be back.” He replied, placing a kiss on your lips.
