#student rants

[kim-inlaw]

The feeling of being nervous and putting yourself out there can be uncomfortable.

I'm not telling you that you have to do this, im simply sharing that this is what I did and if you want to try it, go ahead

A quote I hear quite often:

"Being brave or courageous isn't about not being scared, its doing something even though you are afraid"

You are bigger than your fears and insecurities

[kim-inlaw]

Honey, I just realized

Aug 2020 is almost hecking here! You know what that means?

College is about to start!

Fuxking aye.

Reasons for panic but im not panicking

Yet...

I have to write my thesis paper (20pgs)

Its my last semester (I can graduate early if I want)

If i graduate Jan and not May, my thesis paper is due in Jan... um? ☹ that plus like 5 or 6 classes im taking online

Graduating early means I can spend the next semester traveling tho

And still plan on going to grad school without much burnout and taking a gap year. ..

I'll be able to travel by March right? Will the fxking situation here be any better? I mean thats several months from now .....

If the gov and society doesn't do their part to fight this bloody virus so i can travel and finally meet my brother so help me

Graduate early (jan) -> travel to Europe (March to May) -> spend summer (June to aug) preparing for grad school

I love the plan but again

Finish 20pg thesis paper and last semester while applying for law school within 5 months

Too much?

But oh how it can be worth it

My lsats is in Oct and im at a 153 rn

My nerves are wavering ... anyone else nervous about this upcoming semester??

[just-a-haravatat-student]

I need to pick up the Fontainian and Liyue languages again...

But the language of Liyue is so boringggggggg... It's literally two structures and a bajillion words you need to memorize from the get-go... There's no variety, there's no nothing, it's always the sameeeeeeeee...

...

And Fontainian is, well, Fontainian. Nothing good can come out of that. (For legal purposes that is a joke-)

[just-a-haravatat-student]

I have just realized something.

So. Because of things that always end up happening whether we want it or not, my mother and I used to joke that we had the Cassandra Complex, following a greek figure called Cassandra who could forsee what was going to happen but nobody would listen.

Now, my mom has this. She says things that are always right, but nobody listens. I used to not listen, but I learned my lesson.

Now, at the age I have right now, I have realized that, under her same tutelage, the exact same thing is starting to happen to me. I predict things that will happen, because they always happen, people don't listen, they end up happening and while they suffer the consequences I stare and go "I TOLD YOU SO YOU MORON."

However, there is a shift.

My mom says things very calm, because she has a very good grasp on her emotions. She can stay very calm in very tense moments. Therefor, her words seem just overly careful.

I do not have the same grasp on my emotions. And thus, my warnings seem the lunatic ramblings of a total paranoid.

Since my mom has the calmed version, called the Cassandra Complex, I have the nervous version.

Which I'm going to start calling the Marvin from Red Complex.

[just-a-haravatat-student]

On top of not even knowing where the thing where I write literally everything went, I got the busiest week, so no searching on my own (damn damn damn damn damn damn), and also, I felt phisically ill. Because of... Things. I'm fine now, let's hope I can go back to writing as regularly as I can, but... Yeah. Oof. What a time.

[just-a-haravatat-student]

... Oh no.

Oh, no, no, nononono. Not like this. Oh, no no no.

I'm gonna have to bother so much people just because of my idiocy... Oh, nonononono.

Erm, so, uh, public thing? I have lost a notebook.

It was a rosegold notebook with a satin rosegold bookmark attached to it. Just opening it, people should see the words "Sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow" and "rockrider", written in both languages of Sumeru.

Please don't read anything else inside.

Most of it is gibberish, yes, but a bunch of it are personal notes of my own crafting, that are not for the public eye to see.

If you see it, please, return it to me.

The notebook is important to me, and I need it to help and deepen my studies.

I'm really sorry for all the bothering I'm about to do...

[just-a-haravatat-student]

Y'know what? I thought I'd take more to call the languages here by their names. I thought I wouldn't get used to call Fontainian Fontainian, or that I'd take a while to explain what they speak in Liyue as "the language of Liyue."

And, like, pronounciation-wise, they're kinda the same... I can go to Liyue and tell somebody that 当我小的时候我喜欢璃月菜, and if they see it written, they won't understand, but if they hear, "Dang wo xiao de shi hou, wo xi huan Liyue cai" and know "Oh, she liked Liyue cuisine when she was small" and like-It's confusing at times.