The day after he left, we fell apart. It wasn’t something that gradually came but rather, a striking sense of emptiness that swept through us like sudden torrential waves. I cannot speak for others, but the waves had caught me off guard and drowned me alive. It has been a while since I knew how to breathe.
The last I heard, Hoseok and Jimin started a dance school together. Taehyung wrote his feelings on the streets. Namjoon wandered aimlessly and took bus rides from one city to another.
Seokjin-hyung? I would not wish to think of him.
I want to love myself, to set my heart free, to stop the surging sense of hate I feel towards my existence but every time I close my eyes, the ghosts that lurk in the corners of my heart would come out to haunt me. I should not have let him leave. I should not have let him walk home alone. These are just some of the many regrets that burden my shoulders.
I miss him dearly. If there was a way to turn back time, I would give my life to it, if it meant a chance to see him smile for me again.
A/N: aye, another smut by yours truly lol. I’ve been wanting to write a smutty yoongi fic- I honestly cant wait to write for the rest of the members! i really don’t know what to say haha. Oh! Thank you so much for the love, we truly appreciate it! if you like what you see from us, send us a request! :) we also love feedback so let us know what you like! <3 much much love
- admin courtneycat =^.^=
p.s.- he looks so goddamn fluffy in this gif :D
Growing up with the Mins next door always seemed like a blessing. Min Jisu had easily become your best friend in grade school. She was sweet, yet sarcastic, nice, yet savage. Just like her older brother- Yoongi. Yoongi was always quiet and kept to himself when we were all together at their place. Jisu would always be busy keeping you entertained as kids- showing you all her dolls and makeup and watching Sailor Moon on the television. Because what else would two eight-year-old girls do on the weekend? You had always tried to include Yoongi in your activities, but he wanted nothing apart of that, no no no.
High school was an adventure on its own. Your friendship with Jisu only became stronger and you shared all the bits and pieces of life with each other. From homework, school rumors and crushes. Nothing beat late night phone calls about cute boys or weekend sleepovers with facials and talks about your crushes. You guys told each other everything and kept nothing a secret. Or at least that’s what you two thought. Between the calls, sleepovers and lunchroom table whispers, you shared brief touches and quick glances with one boy in your life.
Min Yoongi. Yes, that’s right. You had the hots for your best friend’s brother.
Dear God, help you. You couldn’t help it though. Yoongi was the definition of cute. He hated being called cute, but dammit he was. Stealing glances at him from across the lunch room from your table to his, you’d see his ruffled hair from his fingers running through it. He would be talking to his friend- Namjoon. And when you would look away, his eyes would land right on you as well. Sometimes you both would accidentally look at each other at the same time and as you would lock eyes, the same shade of red would blossom on your faces.
Sleepovers were the death of Yoongi. That meant three days of gossip, chick flicks and you. Not that you were a problem, but you kind of were the problem. Seventeen-year-old him didn’t know what he was feeling when you bumped into him on a Saturday night in small shorts and a tee shirt. Your legs were on display and your hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail revealing your neck. Your face was blushed as his large hands were gripping at your waist to steady you from falling backwards. Looking up at his face, you noticed his cheeks were also stained a light pink and his eyes were trained onto you already. Feeling too hot suddenly, he let go of you fast and stuttered out a quick sorry before running back up the stairs to his room.
Two weeks ago, was high school graduation and nerves ran through your body at the time. You were nervous because not only was your family there, but also the Mins. They treated you just like their own and couldn’t not be there for you. Before you knew it, seven speeches flew by and you were tossing your cap into the air like every other student around you. You gathered your robe up and ran down the steps to your family and engulfed them into a hug. No matter how much they bothered you during school, you knew that they meant the best. You then turned around and was tackled by Jisu. She had happy tears in her eyes and you couldn’t help but laugh at her. Hugging her back, you made fun of her in her ear about crying. She then let you go and hit you with her cap repeatedly. She then walked over to her parents to thank them as well.
Looking around at the scene, years of studying and cramming over. For at least now.
A small tap on your shoulder broke you out of your trance and you turned around to see Yoongi behind you.
“Um, I think this belongs to you,” he held up your cap for you to see and you smiled lightly at him and grabbed the hat from him.
“Thank you, Yoongi,” you told him as you both continued to stare at each other. Surprising you, he pulled you into a hug. His arms wrapped around your shoulders and pulled you against him. Eyes wide, your arms had a mind of their own and wound themselves around his waist. Pulling back a bit, you looked up at him as he looked down at you. His dark hair was tousled, but it still looked nice. You couldn’t help but want to stay in his arms forever. You weren’t too sure how long you both were standing there in each other’s arms, but you parents were pulling you away to take you to a dinner that both families were going to. That night was filled with longing stares, as well.
Now here you were, sitting in Jisu’s room for a week before the both of you would take off for a vacation trip. You were both sitting on the floor, scrolling through social media and eating junk food. It was around midnight and their parents were out for a few days on their own holiday as well.
“I still can’t believe that Matthew didn’t ask you out!” Jisu yelled out in frustration. You only chuckled and popped a few Skittles in your mouth.
“It’s honestly fine, Ji. I don’t like him anyway,” you told her. Her eyes bugged out at your response. Jisu thought you had liked Matthew. Did that mean that you lied all that time about liking him?
“What do you mean? I thought you liked him! Were you lying this whole time you dirtbag?” she exclaimed while pushing you playfully. You only laughed at her and nodded. Jisu scowled. Grumbling and groaning she shoveled a mouthful of popcorn in her mouth and loudly chewed to annoy you. You rolled your eyes at her and continued to look through Instagram. It was mostly just graduation and beach trip photos. Scrolling through more, you come across a selfie of Yoongi. How could you forget that you follow him on there? Looking at the photo more, your eyes widen at the sight.
“Jisu! Did you see what Yoongi has done?” looking at her you shoved your phone into her face and she squinted at the sight of him.
“What the absolute fuck? He dyed his hair? Its blonde! What the hell!” Jisu screamed. You couldn’t help but laugh at her again. Shaking your head at her, you take back your phone and like the photo. She only stares you down with beady eyes. “Did you just like that?”
“Yeah,” you don’t pay any attention to her as you stare at the photo just a tad bit longer and proceed to scroll past it. Her eyes were still trained on you. Feeling her stare, you look back up at her, “what?”
“Why, Y/N?” Well you weren’t going to tell her that his blonde hair turned you on.
“It looks good on him,” you shortly reply to her. Looking away, you sigh and place your phone on the ground, “I’m gonna get something to drink, want anything?”
“Get me a coke, pretty please!” nodding at her, you get up, stretch, and walk out and down to the kitchen. You quietly pad down the stairs, just in case Yoongi happened to be sleeping. Learning quickly as a child, he did not like to be woken up at all. Walking into the kitchen with the intention of being alone, you were quite surprised to see the blonde stud in the kitchen. Gasping lightly, you lose your footing and accidently bash the side of your hip into the island in the middle of the kitchen. Yoongi chokes on his drink at the sound of you and turns quickly to face you. There you are, grumbling in pain as you hold your left side. Your hair is mess and after Yoongi calmed down he softly chuckled at the sight of you. Walking over to you, he lightly grabbed your hand.
“Are you okay, Y/N?” he asked you. You nodded slowly, feeling the blush rise to your cheeks. How embarrassing is this? Looking up at him, you take in the sight of the new haired Yoongi. Holy mother of god. He’s hot. Your cheeks grew warmer and Yoongi noticed. A smirk appeared on his pouty mouth as he ran a hand through his fresh locks.
“Do you like it?” he asked you.
“Yes- I mean, uh yeah. Yeah it looks good,” You stuttered out. You didn’t want to seem like a creep, but gosh you couldn’t help it. He chuckled again at you. You were cute. Deciding to get something to drink finally, you walk around him to get a bottled water and coke out of the fridge. Setting Jisu’s drink on the counter, you open your water and sip at it to help cool you down. He was watching you with curious eyes. And you quickly look him up and down. He was wearing a pair of black sweats and a fitted white tee shirt. He looked simple. Yet so, so good.
“So, I uh, heard about Matthew, sorry,” he started out.
“Oh! No worries, it’s okay, haha. I didn’t really like him anyway,” you told him. He nodded slightly, his blonde hair bouncing a bit.
“Ah, but still he’s a tool for letting you slip by, though,” he told you. And in his mind, he was telling the truth. Yoongi thought you were beautiful, cute, sexy and every other word he can think of. But his favorite you, was this in front of him. Messy hair, baggy shirt, shorts and fuzzy socks was his absolute favorite look on you.
“Ah, thank you,” you blushed again, “he wasn’t really my type anyway,” you replied to him. His eyebrows rose in question. His eyes, oh my god. His eyes seemed to have looked through you soul.
“And what is your type?” he asked you. Gulping, you look at him. This boy had seemed to be there for you for every moment in your life. You mean, so had Jisu as she was your best friend. But, Yoongi was there too. You never really asked him, but he had always seemed to have shown up out of the blue. He was there for your sixteenth and had watched you blow out your candles. He was there, rubbing your back as your prom date disappeared with another girl. And he was there, sitting on the couch next to you on your eighteenth birthday party with all your friends as you had your first sip of alcohol. He was there watching you as you walked the stage of graduation. Before you knew you, your brain had said ‘fuck it’.
“You,” your mouth said. God damnit, why? Why was your mouth in cahoots with your brain? Frick-frack-fuckity-fuck. His dark eyes were looking right into yours and you were stunned, frozen, stuck- whatever you want to call it. You couldn’t move.
“I uh, I gotta get this drink to Jisu, um- excuse me,” you tried to pass by Yoongi with the drinks in your hands, but his arm grabbed onto your shoulder and held you still against his side. His head leaned closer to your and you could feel his breath on your ear.
“Meet me in my room after Jisu is asleep,” and with that- he was gone. Taking in a large gasp of air, you squeal and run up the stairs to safety. You couldn’t figure out whether you were scared or excited. Either way, this would be one night you wouldn’t ever forget.
It was approaching three in the morning when Jisu was fast asleep. Tucked in her blankets on the bed, she was snoring away. You slowly make your way off your side of the bed before tip-toeing to the door and softly closing it. Fortunately for you, Yoongi’s room was right next door to Jisu’s and as you stood quietly in front of his door you couldn’t help but still for a moment. It was three in the morning, you think to youself. Is he even awake at this hour? As if he could hear your silent arguing inside your head, his door opened and there he stood. With a smirk adorning his face, he grabbed your hand and pulled you inside his room and closed the door with a soft click.
Taking a glance around his room, he had papers and music discs everywhere. His shelves were decorated with even more music from ever genre you could think of. You knew he loved music, but this was so much more than you could ever think of. He was messy, in an organized way.
His hand tightens around yours and that’s when you realized that he hadn’t let your hand go since entering. The thought makes your cheeks turn rosy for a second. Looking back at him, he tugs you closer to him and he sits down on his bed. You sit down next to him. It is quiet and you’re a tab bit nervous about what may or may not happen.
“Stop me if I’m wrong. Stop me if I’m being too much. Please stop me if you don’t want this,” he told you. You didn’t understand, but the moment his hand cupped your cheek, you understood. The pad of his thumb brushed over the highs of your cheeks and you could feel his breath come closer to yours. Soon enough his face was centimeters away from you. His pouty pink lips just hovering above yours, you make your decision.
“I’ve waited too long to stop you,”
With your choice of words, Yoongi places his lips on yours. They were soft against yours and you at that moment you finally knew what this was. This was everything you’ve ever wanted in life. This was the very feeling you had waited for. This boy, who you had stolen glances and lingering touches was finally kissing you.
Yoongi grabbed at your thighs and lifted you up and over his lap with your legs over each side of him. You reattached your lips back to his and placed your hands on his shoulders and his went to your waist. His tongue lapped at your bottom lip and you gave him entrance. Your tongue met his and soon enough, the simple kiss had turned into something way more.
Feeling risky, you decided to slowly rock your hips in circles to create some sort of friction that was much needed. Groans bubbled from the back of Yoongi’s throat as his grip on your waist dropped to your hips and ground you further into his growing bulge.
“Fuck,” he whispered out in your ear. Your breaths came out harsh and in pants. Yet, you needed so much more than this.
Breaking the kiss, you looked at him. His lips were red and swollen and you could only assume yours looked the same way. You raised your hand to his chest and gently pushed him down on the bed in a laying position. Lowering yourself slowly onto him, you placed your lips near his ear.
“I need you, Yoongi,”
His hands shot back up and cupped your face to give you a long and deep kiss. You could feel every emotion that he wanted you to feel. His hands then traveled down and gripped the ends of your shirt and tugged it up and over your head. Shortly after that, your bra was taken and thrown off as well. His lips then left yours and started kissing down your neck and collar bones, sucking and biting along the way. Wanton moans left your lips and you let your hand travel down and palm him.
“Babygirl, I’m not going to last long if you keep doing that,” he groaned out at you. His lips then found your breast and began sucking and biting your nipple.
“Ahh, Yoongi- I need you so much,” you moan out. Yoongi flipped you underneath, him now on top of you. He rid himself of his clothes at a pace you couldn’t comprehend, yet you didn’t care. All you needed right now was him. All of him.
Yoongi’s fingers played with the hem of your panties and began to trace the outside of your wetness. You began to buck into his fingers from the feeling and whined at him. A smirk graces his face again as he lowers himself down and slowly peels your panties down your legs. He kisses the inside of your thighs before planting a kiss on your clit.
“Fuck, Yoongi,” you moan at him as your hand tangles into his blonde hair. His tongue does wonders as it circles your clit and drags down and laps at the wetness that leaks out. The sensation has you tugging at his roots and he groans into you at the feeling. Yoongi then has his lips trail back up to your clit and suck while two of his fingers slip inside you.
“Oh god, Yoongi- I need you inside me, please,” you whine out to him. His fingers slowly come out of you and he presses them against your lips.
“Taste yourself baby, suck your fingers clean for me,” your tongue comes out and circles his fingers before wrapping your lips around them and sucking. Groaning, Yoongi takes back his hands, “Babygirl, I’d love to feel your mouth around me, but I need to be inside you now,” he says before slipping his boxers off.
Pushing your legs apart, he nestles himself in between them and runs his tip up and down your vagina. He then pushes himself into you and moans about how tight you are. You couldn’t understand anything at the time because the pleasure is just too much to handle as you begin to move your hips with him. He drops down onto his hand on either side of you as his pace gets much faster.
Yoongi is in complete bliss as he feels how tight you are around him. Your so slick and wet and just warm and its throwing him closer and closer to the edge. You were his first crush, his only crush. Sure, he had girls throughout his time, but you were always on his mind. And like so, you could only think of him. He was long and thick, and he hit every sensitive spot inside you, sending you into complete bliss each time.
His lips attach to your neck again and he sucks purple and red marks on it. Your fingers rake down his back and his pace somehow goes even faster. The friction is too much and you start to see stars in your vision.
“You like it when I go fast, huh? You like it when I’m so deep inside you?” You can only nod, the feeling too amazing to form words. He’s going so fast that you don’t even have a second to catch a breath as your cumming so hard on his length.
“Yoongi, I’m cumming, oh my god, I’m cumming- you feel so good,” you chant out to him. You don’t care that Jisu could possible hear you at this moment. The only sounds you can hear is yourself gasping and the sound of skin slapping against each other. Yoongi is still going hard, trying to chase his own high. He’s pumping himself harder into you and you could only cry out in shock as the over stimulation you feel. You clench around him and moans cry out of you. Your legs shake and you can feel yourself approaching a second orgasm.
Before you know it, his fingers work at your clit and you nearly scream as you cum again on him. He quickly pulls out and shoots out long streams of cum on your stomach.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck baby. You’re so good, yes, yes, ahhh,” he moans out.
When the last string squirts out, he collapses next you and takes a breath. You’re still trying to find your breath and calm down your heart. You feel the bed shift, but your eyes are closed, still too dizzy from the best orgasms you have ever felt in your entire life.
Shortly after, a warm cloth was wiping the mess from your lower half. And after that, a shirt was being dressed on you and a pair of sweats sliding up your legs, too. Yoongi then threw on a pair of boxers and a tee shirt as well. He then slid himself against you, spooning you from behind and turned his lamp off.
Laying in complete darkness with his armed around you, you could only think of what this all means, and what the future would bring you.
“I can hear you thinking,” he chuckled out, “I’ve waited for you my entire life, believe it or not. I knew from the first time I’ve ever met you, that I’d love you unconditionally… so, uh, I did this backwards and shit, but uh- do you wanna go out sometime?”
Smiling widely, you lace your fingers in with his hand that was wrapped around your waist.
“I love you too, Yoongi,” you tell him. You could feel the gummy smile on his face form on the back of your neck, “and yes, I’d love to go on a date with you,”
You have never slept so well in your life.
Waking up, you decide to make some breakfast for Jisu and Yoongi since you knew that they wouldn’t be up for a couple more hours. Making your way out of Yoongi’s arms, you slip quietly out of his room and down to the kitchen. You then prepare the bacon, eggs and pancakes for breakfast.
As you stir the mix together, you feel arms wrap around your waist and you smile. Leaning back against the firm chest, you then feel his lips kiss the side of your head.
“Good morning, baby,” he whispers to you.
“Good morning, Yoongi,” you whisper back to him. He kisses your cheek and lets you go to go set the table.
Shortly after finishing the last of the bacon, you place the plates of food on the table and hear footsteps pad down the steps. Jisu is rubbing her eyes, and yawning.
“Man, I knew I picked a good best friend,” she said jokingly. You let out a snort and tell her to sit down and eat.
The three of you eat in silence mostly, only talking every few moments. But throughout the time, you and Yoongi would steal glances and he’d nudge your foot with his with a goofy little smile every once in a while. What you didn’t know is that Jisu saw all of that. She saw the way Yoongi has had his eye on you for years and that you’d steal glances at her brother, too. She saw the way his eyes would glint every time you would come over, and she’d see the way yours would sparkle when you would talk to him. Jisu wasn’t dumb. She also saw the very obvious hickeys that you tried hiding.
“Ah, this was good, thank you Y/N. I’ll wash dishes, don’t worry- you two can go back upstairs for round two if you want,” You choked on your pancake as the words left her mouth. She patted your back and continued herself,
“But could you two please keep it down this time?” this time Yoongi spilt his drink down his chin.
