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#Legendary #Unique #Oneofakind #Billionyearold #Lake #Superior #Agate #Rare #Precious #Gorgeous #Gemstone #Gem #Vintage #Old #Antique #Ancient #metaphysical #metaphysics #Healing #Energy #Glowing #Opaque #Translucent #Precious #Stone #Chakra #cleanse #Unpolished #Suicide #Kills
I'm Here And I'm Not Going Any Where. Im Here To Fuck Shit Up!!
Cereal Killer b here checking In been A long week putting the head quarters together had to leave the Mother Ship In the Hanger all week.Ill be dropping sneak peaks of the office all week officially 12 mountain time be ready and that helpful odd not from this planet motivation. Get up and make a Move!. Do fun Shit! Create Something New, Always be heard . Tune in tomorrow Same Bat Time Same Bat Channel. Cereal Killer B Off Like A Prom Dress!!!
One of my favorite songs for the 15 minute commute. And yeah, I posted it in May, and forgot. It’s worth a doubleepost.
(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sTyhogCeog)
Where is the celebrity face of LDN? Oh, sorry, we have no money.
How did this begin today... I was looking for information about an inhaler one of my kids was prescribed for exercise induced asthma ( I know...) Proair made by TEVA Pharmaceuticals.
Just a few paragraphs in on the factsheet TEVA states, "Once a medicine has been approved for marketing for a certain use, experience may show that it is also useful for other medical problems. Although these uses are not included in product labeling, [albuterol] is used in certain patients with the following medical condition: Hyperkalemia (too much potassium in the blood)." ~i.e. “off label use” of Proair
One argument we hear against LDN is, “it’s off label,” but that criticism doesn’t apply to patented drugs?
While I was enjoying the hypocrisy of Proair off label vs. LDN off label I came across the You Don’t Know Jack About MS, which made me angry because LDN has great success with MS, and ultimately led me back to the disappointing news that Demi Lovato also partnered with bigPharma.
I am having trouble swallowing pharmaceutical sponsored celebrity causes, when the corporations know damn well low dose naltrexone does everything their expensive patented drugs do, but better as LDN works to strengthen the immune system vs. having been designed to destroy disease.
Jack Osbourne + MS = TEVA Pharmaceuticals
http://www.youdontknowjackaboutms.com/about-ms/ms-myths-and-facts
Sidenote: TEVA was the US manufacturer of Revia, ie. Naltrexone, in 2010 under their subsidiary Barr Laboratories. It is the FDA approved drug which has to be compounded to make low dose naltrexone or LDN. Have they suggested LDN to you Jack~being off label should not be an issue for TEVA, as shown above with their Proair product.
Another Sidenote: The game “you don’t know Jack” was once a family favorite.
Demi Lovato + bipolar = Sunoviun Pharmaceuticals
http://bevocalspeakup.com/
Sidenote: From bipolar diagnosed to another, Demi, their drugs are very much not the solution. I am sorry. You have a wonderful message, I can’t get behind it because Sunoviun paid for it :( PS. bipolar should be a rare illness, but now even WebMD claims that is a myth, it will get darker still...
http://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20150528005276/en/Demi-Lovato-Joins-Forces-Sunovion-Leading-Mental#.VWybWVxViko
Immunotherapy + Big$$$ = Bristol Meyers Squibb June 1st announcement!
http://www.cnn.com/2015/06/01/health/immunotherapy-cancer-treatment-advance/
There is one celebrity movement I can get behind right now, LOVE IS LOUDER created by Brittany Snow.
If you found this post upsetting or depressing head over to http://www.loveislouder.com/, where real. good. things. are happening <3
If your parent acts like a 13 year old...
they could be bipolar.
Wednesday the 19th:
It is week three of LDN. It has saved my life, and yet, as Grandpa Norberg used to say, “life is just so... daily.”
On a scale of 1 to a Gazillion, today was a 3. It was easily the worst day since I began LDN. Not because it was the hardest, or most tiring; but because my bad brain was really, really powerful today and my body was really, really, really, tired by 3 o’clock.
Tonight Missy had a recognition dinner with fellow P.H.S. student of the month awardees. As I drove her home to get ready I didn’t talk; I was feeling angry. I was angry that Yancey bought me a new phone, angry he was working on the jet boat, angry the house isn’t taken care of and everything else important to him feels like a distraction and money pit, where there is a lack of resources all around.
When Yancey got home we argued about the new phone he bought me (note: “It’s not about the nail” or phone... or any “thing”) and during the argument my word of choice became sustainability. While he got ready I put my head on my pillow, crossed my red boots, crossed my arms over my white eyelet top and fell asleep. It was 4:30pm. I would have stayed there if we didn’t have Missy’s dinner in less than 2 hours.
At 5 I woke up, walked up the stairs to Missy’s room and asked, “jeans are okay, right?” She gave me an exasperated look, so I changed into a dress and pants. The dress I threw on was so tight it pinched my armpits, constricted my breathing and I had to wear a tank top because it is very low cut; on the other hand the pants I grabbed (which I couldn’t button up two weeks ago) fit, making the outfit uncomfortable and satisfying at the same time.
Most adults don’t go through any thought process while getting dressed. They simply put clothes on. 13 year olds throw fits when they can’t find something to wear. It was something I never grew out of.
I knew it was a bad day because:
1. I didn’t want to change out of my jeans and
2. mostly hated what I put on, but
it wasn’t like the rest of my life because:
3. I didn’t care enough to change.
I am not a huge fan of changes. A new phone is an uncomfortable change and yesterday was an unfortunate day for a new phone. It was too big, too expensive, too hard to remember or find all the passwords to every app I use... it was a GIANT pain in the ass. I wasn’t happy about it. Yes, my other phone had been dropped in the duck pond and in the bath multiple times. Yes, it was completely out of memory for taking photos. Yes, the touch screen often froze, buttons didn’t work and the battery wouldn’t hold a charge. Yes, it was a miracle I’ve had the same phone for 2 years. It’s a miracle I’ve had the same laptop for 2 years.
Why? When you get angry enough electronics are just the right weight and shape to throw with force against a wall or onto the beach. We have a T.V. buried on the beach~after it hit the ground it seemed the sensible thing to do. Our oven doesn’t have a glass door, because I threw several dishes into it.
Anger was not a small issue for me. It was rarely in perspective with what was happening around me. Anger wasn’t a reaction, it was an explosion. I crushed at least 3 cell phones, 2 laptops, 1 television and one oven door. I can’t count the number of coffee cups or dishes I have broken over the years.
Earlier in the day Missy had called me from Lee’s, “Mom, I am looking for something to wear tonight.”
“Miranda is on her way there with my credit card to buy flip flops, but I did just buy you both clothes so please call me back before you buy anything to let me know how much it is,” I said, rubbing my eyes that were on fire from working on the computer for the past 6 hours. I stood up to stretch my back.
I was done with work for the day. Not like, “times up!” More like, I eff’ing hate my job, I dislike making decisions about money all day long: do I buy more lights? Should I order the Melissa line I have been thinking about for a year? Is the material they are made of safe? Will wallets for men sell? Did I finish City Sales Tax reports yet (no, and they are due tomorrow at the latest).
Marissa came into the shop without a Lee’s bag.
“You didn’t find anything?” I asked.
“You kinda said not to buy anything.” She said, not mean or like a teenager, just matter of fact like, ‘I understood you were upset so I will try to find something at home.’
Miranda came in with her flip-flops, which I encouraged both of them to buy so they would stop taking my RocketDogs, which I love.
“You want to go home now?” I asked Marissa.
And that’s where the angry drive home began. I didn’t tell Yancey I left work early, although I passed him on the way home as he came down the road from the warehouse. I didn’t answer his calls or his texts on the way home, because my big ass phone didn’t fit where I normally keep my phone... so, you know, I was upset.
But I didn’t throw or break anything. Our fight essentially ended during the drive to town.
“You want to know what would help? Take the ugly white doors off the goat pen that I hate, fix the broken steps that are sinking into the ground, help pick up around the house more...”
You get the idea. Missy sat like a doll in the backseat, looking beautiful and stressed at the same time. Yancey kept his eyes glued to the road and didn’t respond to my tirade.
Turning to Marissa I said, “I am really proud of you, of how hard you work. I am sorry this is a bad day for me,” and inside the 13 year old was asked to please sit the f’ down and behave, if only for a the next few hours.
During the dinner a teacher expressed his appreciation for the parents of the exceptional students,”it’s what you do as parents to support these kids that make the difference. Cooking meals for them, doing their laundry, making sure they get their homework done.”
I looked across the table at Missy, our eyes both saying, “no, that’s not what happens at our house.”
Missy is a 4.0 student because she wants it. It is important to her, she loves learning and gets satisfaction from receiving the highest grade possible. She is intelligent, creative and unique.
When we got home from the dinner I began writing this post. A few sentences in she walked into my room and flopped herself onto the bed.
“Sometimes you make me so stressed mom.”
“I know, I am sorry.”
“Nothing fit mom, I ordered size smalls, I guess I am a medium.”
“That’s frustrating,” and I knew exactly how she felt.
She expressed not liking how she is built, but since she is built like me, I have to say I think she is a doll. Which I heard a lot from my parents. I didn’t like my short legs, ample booty or bust as a teen either. I disliked it very much.
“I am a stump,” she said.
“No you’re not, you are perfect.”
“I am the stump where the bark is dead and peeling back, with moss, but not the good kind of moss, and under the breaking off bark are colonies of spiders. No one wants to get close to spiders. I am that stump.”
Huh, that was a hell of a description. Not accurate, or real. But beautiful still, and another reason that she is a student worthy of recognition, truly.
Not because I cook for her, do her laundry or make sure she studies, but because she is, all on her own, an incredible human being, in spite of and because of the life that we have all shared together.
In anger and in love. In sickness and in health. Family is first.
(via https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sTyhogCeog)
Begin Again is a favorite movie, like Empire Records; equal parts music video, story and actors I love. ‘Coming Up Roses’ is cheerful yet deep.
My children made sure Mothers Day was wonderful <3
We had a day off from all normal Sunday activities (devotions, skating practice, and work). They even wanted me to hang out with them and insisted I did not work on Mothers Day ;)
Taking all of yesterday off from work...
knowing I wouldn’t have “the shop to myself” today...
because our summer season would be beginning (being open 6 days/week instead of 5)...
gave me a wee bit of anxiety.
It wasn’t devastating although it was uncomfortable.
Physically I am exhausted at the end of each day, which helps me put myself to bed earlier than normal, which helps me enjoy mornings like I never have. Ever. My fuel tank empties by the end of each day, generally between 4 and 8pm. This is new, to begin the day with it filled back up.
Feelings in proportion to what is happening to me and around me is a new experience. If I had to take medication, I had to still be me. It was scary to feel anxious yesterday, until I put it in perspective and could see that it was right sized for the changes happening, beginning today.
I felt fear yesterday based on what being open 6 days/week has felt like and looked like in the past. But I am not in the past, I am in today.
Right sized reactions and feelings are perfectly normal.
Yes, my body aches from a long and productive week. No, my head isn’t screaming, “just give up! If you can’t do everything perfectly, why bother at all.”
Reiterating: the biggest immediate relief for me has been mental.
I have an extremely sensitive system, which is why I have systematically removed or reduced chemicals or “food” that could antagonize it (alcohol, drugs, diet soda, preservatives). I practice behavior modification skills, spiritual meditation, breathing & hydrating as my foundation for each day, which is the only day I can be present in.
We know that wasn’t enough, because my body and mind, my nervous system, was inflamed, was rejecting me. An excellent article by Suzy Cohen can be found here: http://suzycohen.com/articles/the-medicine-your-doctor-never-told-you-about-but-should-have/
From my facebook wall today:
It is day 9 of mental health awareness month. This video supports the conclusion I came to 3 years ago when I refused to continue taking pharmaceuticals for my diagnosis, which is highly misunderstood, stigmatized and mistreated. I knew my brain and body worked differently than what was considered within the normal range. How is it possible that the number of people in the United States that are taking an antipsychotic, antidepressant, anti anxiety, anti pain, anti inflammatory pharmaceuticals is higher than the number of people not taking them? If the pharmaceuticals were successful we would be the happiest, healthiest country in the world. Science doesn't support those ratios. There must be another path, answer and solution. The worst part of my diagnosis was suicidal tendencies. My brain rejected my life on a daily basis. Day 10 with LDN and I have not woken up to or experienced suicidal tendencies once. People will continue to die and suffer at the hands of corporate greed. Speak out, stand up, for yourself or someone you have lost to mental illness and or suicide. Suicide kills.
