#summer sadness

[ibelieveinfairies425]

Summer hits and suddenly I’m fucking allergic to happiness

[bewitched-moonlight]

"I'm not feeling strong yet, but I am taking good care of myself. The weather is perfect. I read and walk all day and then walk to the sea. I expect to swim soon. For now I am content. I am not sure what I hope for. I feel I am doing my best. It reminds me when I was sixteen dreaming of Locca, the gentle trees outside and the creek. Perhaps poetry replaces something in me that others receive more naturally. Perhaps my happiness proves a weakness in my life. Even my failures in poetry please me. Time is very different here. It is very good to be away from public ambition. I sweep and wash, cook and shop. Sometimes I go into town in the evening and have pastry with custard. Sometimes, I sit at a table and drink half a beer."

─ Linda Gregg

[lowxredxeyes]

[tam-a-ne-tut]

kendalls are kendalling

[snowflake-elf]

Why am I like this? I didn't do anything I wanted to do today, but all I do is feeling sad again.

Why am I like this? I want to be blown away by the fall wind, but all i do is feeling sad again.

Why am I like this? I try to do things to get myself together, but all I do is feeling sad again.

Why am I like this? I lost so much time, meant to help me, but all I do is feeling sad again.

[too-much-imagination]

I feel so lonely. So desolate.

And the most shattering thing is that whatever I do I can’t feel good, fulfilled, relieved, satisfied, proud of myself.

At first I thought maybe it’s because I need a change, a bit of dynamic, so I travelled to a few cities with my family, we did a few trips together, I met with my friends a couple of times, I went to some parties and cafes and shops and libraries and cinemas. I met new people, I’ve been to new places, I’ve seen new things.

And it doesn’t work.

I still feel… blank. Numb. Like I’m faking every smile and every word coming from my mouth is… mirthless? I don’t even know how to describe all of this.

I’m tired all the time. I tried relaxing - it didn’t work. I tried taking walks - didn’t help. Going out with friends? Even worse. So maybe spending time with my family? Nothing changed.

So what should I do?

I just… I want to fall asleep.

[angelbloodsstuff]

“por favor, por favor , no me dejes, por favor, no me dejes” eso es lo que escucho detrás de mente. porque debería de estar rogando para que alguien se quede en mi vida, ¿porque? ¿que tengo que hago que todos se vayan? siempre se van y me dejan. tal vez sea yo el problema o tal vez ya cumplieron su tiempo en mi vida. pero no, no quiero que me dejen, no quiero quedarme sola.no quiero vivir sola. no quiero llorar sola. no quiero morir sola. no quiero ver el atardecer sola. no quiero reír sola. no quiero sentirme sola. no quiero ,no quiero… si ellos pueden irse de mi vida, entonces yo también puedo irme de la vida de todos.

[prettyblissx]

"omgg summer arrived :) !!"