My mood is very up and down, but its not sporadic. Its a transition from one emotion that hangs around like a shadow on a cloudy day. I feel grey for days, sometimes weeks at a time... and then it will change suddenly to bright and sunny. The sunny mood and energy stays for a while too. I feel productive and motivated. The bright light that peaks through the clouds. Warms your skin and gives you that relief from the chill...
So in the spirit of optimism and sunny disposition, I have to nod to the good feelings I’ve been having (even though as I’m writing this I’m listening to slow music and crying lol).
The good that has come out of this shelter in place:
1. Quality time with Kuya, Vaness, and the kids. I see them every day. Now we don’t live in the same house, but we live literally what? 6? 7? houses apart... We basically live together lol. Its been nice to spend time with the kids. They help me walk the dogs, they help me in the yard, and I even let them help me make curry. They’re little sponges, so smart and capable.
2. Daily yoga. Yes, I’ve quickly come to love it. You might think because I only post videos of workouts and heavy lifting that I’m some intense, heavy lifting athlete... which I can be LOL, but I think as I’m getting older I’m trying to transition a bit. I love the intensity of crossfit, but my knees don’t... Cross country and years of running, jumping, and working out are catching up! Because of all of the emphasis on strength, I have lost a lot of flexibility over the years, so I’ve been using this time to get back to it. Also, it just gives me time to clear my head of any unnecessary thinking... Focusing on breathing is great and makes me feel really relaxed.
3. Yard work. WTH, who am I? You know how they say as you get older, you become your parents? Its so true. I’m over here cleaning up Mom’s succulents, watering all the plants, planting vegetables, mowing the lawn, and picking weeds... WHO AM I?! hahaha I remember when I used to ask Mom why she had so many plants. Seriously, they’re exhausting.... Which is why I’m selling some... But, it would be a lie to say I don’t enjoy the feeling of achievement when I look at the yard and its clean. The bushes don’t look like they’re having a bad hair day and its just nice. I also feel this connection to Mom when I’m outside... Surrounded by her plants. Its nice to be able to share them with people. If you’re interested in adding some plants to your life, hit me up lol. Spring is the best season to plant new things.
4. Gratitude. Even though I’ve been sad a lot and I have all the reason to be, I’ve reminded myself of all the things I’m so so so grateful for. As we all should. There is so much we take for granted. I mean there are so many family members I miss being able to see... We couldn’t do Easter this year! I miss seeing all the little kids running around. I’m thankful for everyone. Thank you for checking in on me. I miss my friends and being able to workout together, laugh together, go eat haha. Simple things.
5. Creating. I’m usually really bad at finishing projects. Just like Mom... I want to do SO MUCH, so I start something and then start something else before I finish the first thing. But all and all its fun and I’m revisiting things that I didn’t make time for before. I almost wrote “now that I have time,” but really life is about MAKING TIME. So the things I’ve been doing? Picked up some old books I didn’t finish, picked up some yarn and my crochet hook (just the other day), started drawing here and there, still writing, and one of my favorite things, cooking. I’m still, for the most part, pescatarian. For special dishes, I will eat some meat... I mean homemade pho? I will definitely eat some beef for that lol. But regularly I eat fish, shrimp, and I still do eggs. I also do some soy products, but not too many. There are so many plant based options out there now, so I’ll do those too.
Anyways, its almost time to workout. Just remember the hardest step is sometimes just in getting started... Even if you don’t feel motivated, picking up and simply starting is the best place. Your mood is sometimes a little slow, but it will catch up.
