I’m depressed AF at the moment, so I humbly request a DC/MCU AU with Bruce/Clark/Tony. Por favor.
Depressed twins! ✋🏼 This is pre-getting-together but also still somehow very together.
There was someone else in Bruce's bed. Clark unfortunately learned this by leaning down and kissing the top of their head and then having a bearded face pop out from under the covers to blink up at him blearily, like a kitten whose eyes had just opened.
"You're not Bruce," Clark said, feeling like an idiot.
"No," the other man replied.
Clark raised his eyebrows at him, waiting for an explanation. Then he stared, absolutely aghast, as the man simply grunted at him and then slithered back under the covers, until only a tuft of hair was visible. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, then reached out to pull the blankets back.
"Let him sleep," Bruce said, coming out of the bathroom. "He just got in."
Clark was distracted for a moment by the fact that Bruce was in nothing but a towel, a droplet of water rolling down his chest. Then he jerked his gaze back up to Bruce's face. It was too late, though--Bruce was already smirking at him. Clark sighed, rolling his eyes. He motioned down at the lump under the blankets. "What's going on?"
"That's Tony Stark," Bruce said, turning to put on his nightclothes.
Clark stared at him, confused. "Why is Tony Stark in your bed?"
"He was trying to seduce me," Bruce deadpanned.
Clark spluttered, stunned. "Seduce you?!"
Bruce raised an eyebrow. "Do you think I'm not worth seducing?"
"You're bullying me. This is bullying," Clark said immediately.
Bruce shot him a somewhat mean smirk. "You're easy to bully." Then he sighed, rolling his eyes. "Tony and I went to school together for a while. We're friends."
"Who seduce each other," Clark said, in a way that was part question and part accusation.
"What's a blowjob between friends?" Bruce replied with a shrug. He crawled into the bed. "Anyway, I told him I'm in a committed relationship and he backed off. It's fine. He's respectful. Budge up, Tony. Clark likes to sleep on the window side."
Tony let out a miserable little wail as Bruce muscled him closer to the middle of the bed, but then he went silent again, snuffling into Bruce's chest with the smallest of mewls.
"Oh my god," Clark whispered, because he really was just like a kitten. Then he stood up straight, stunned. "You expect me to just get in bed with you and Tony?"
"Sleep on the couch if you're that bothered by it then," Bruce said, sternness dripping into his tone as he wrapped around Tony. "Tony got here first and he's sad, so we're cuddling."
Clark stared at them, speechless. Finally, he sagged, realizing this was just another one of those things about Bruce that he would never understand. "Is this something I have to get used to?"
"Tony was here before you and by god he'll be here after you. He'll outlive us all. I'm pretty sure he was a cockroach in another life. He's unkillable, even more than you," Bruce said, which was basically a yes.
"You could have just said yes," Clark mumbled, just to be contrary, and finally slipped into bed beside them. "Do I at least get a goodnight kiss?"
"Why? You gave mine to Tony," Bruce said. Before Clark had the time to glare at him, a hand came up and patted Bruce's entire face. Bruce sighed and grabbed Tony's wrist, pulling his hand away from his face. "Fine. Come get your goodnight kiss."
"Well, maybe Tony is good for something," Clark said, smiling, and leaned in to give Bruce a kiss.
Bruce stared at him after he pulled way, raising his eyebrows. "You call that a kiss?"
"It's what you're getting when there's a strange man between us," Clark deadpanned. He motioned at Tony. "He's stolen my little spoon."
"Spoons get stacked, Clark," Bruce told him flatly, then muscled Tony closer to him. "You can cuddle us both."
"Oh my god," Clark sighed, but wrapped his arms around both of them. "You know, every day you find a new way to just leave me absolutely astounded at how weird you are."
"It's part of my charm," Bruce said, shrugging. He made sure Tony was comfortable between them, then finally let out a long, slow sigh and relaxed into the pillows. "Goodnight, Clark."
"Good morning," Clark replied, because it was closer to the time most people got up than when they went to sleep.
"Goodbye," Tony muttered between them, and they both stared down at him, wondering if he was asleep. It was kind of scarier if he wasn't, they decided.
