Why do I feel so uninspired. So unmotivated with what life has given me. Or to be frank, has thrown at me from the deep edges of hell for me to jump over.
There is of course wonderful days to thank over. I always pray for more. Having shreds of happiness to cling onto in my most heartbreaking moments.
Only to be starved, having only sleep for sustinance, having my bed shared by anxiety, depressive and the leeching feeling of uselessness by me taking no action.
Instead, scared of the unraveled consequences. How stupid is that to say out loud, but it happens.
Just being always having my hands filled felt so accomplishing but so painful to think about, afraid of that deadline.
It keeps you occupied and having some sort of safe space but its a facade,
A facade that gives you new worries, new responsibilities than the ones you hear on a daily basis.
In conclusion, That "safe space" manifested in your subconcious a labrynth with multiple doors leading to multiple problems to walk through rather than dealing it all through that single door.
Your'e just not able to come to grips to say that that hallway to another room is not a salvation.
That door is just taking you deeper into the labrynth until its difficult to get out.
To have people tell you to take a break is good to hear.
Makes you think they care, and they do. There are definitely people you can love and trust through this time, but you feel so used to the routine you cant stop.
You can stop the cycle, but it requires sacrifices and the mental torment of change.
Change is a pain that's beneficial, a daily prescription I personally need to take continuously and so do many others.
With change, my inspiration and my motivation will recover.
And we can do better in life by seeing the positives more clearly,
And to not overlook the bad, but be able to understand and keep that negative at a healthy dose so it doesn't spiral within us again.
(Hello! It's been a long time since I posted here. Based on this post, been feeling so down for a long time and back and forth trying to pull myself up. I thought to start again I could write about those feelings because I know a lot of people who feel a little similar. And thank you so much to the people who liked my other works that means a lot to me because I always feel a bit scared to share my thoughts on the internet of all places but now I feel more inspired and want to see people who maybe liek my perspective or want to say there own thoughts on subjects with me. I find it interesting. I hope you have a great day, and if you're stuck in a cycle like me. It's ok, take your time to get out but of course, acknowledge the longer you take the more impact it'll happen on you.)
