i blacked out again today
about 2 1/2 years ago, I had surgery to correct my scoliosis by placing two titanium rods on either side of my spine, with screws keeping them in place (it's the reason i call myself a cyborg)
being so close to my central nervous system, there were risks and life-long side effects that could happen
the immediate side effects were numbness, pain, heat, itchiness or oversensitive nerves (read: extreme ticklishness) along my spine, sides and right hip
the life-long side effects that I got were the above, as well as being unable to bend my spine (to be expected) and...
these are literally the most terrifying things that have ever happened to me
basically what happens is my muscles in my arms, back and legs stop responding, as well as my vision tunnels quickly into darkness. i'm also unable to speak when this happens, so anyone with me has no idea what's going on until i regain control
they don't last long, these blackouts, just a few minutes
the first time this happened, i was at a walmart less than a month after my surgery. it was my first outing. I had to be carried out of the store
these blackouts then happened every 2-3 months for about a year, before only popping up once january of last year
they are not as frequent, but they are still terrifyng
to lose control over your own body is one of the worst things a person can go though, i think
i can only be glad that it happened in the relative safety of my room, and i was able to land on my bed
one of the times this happened, i was near my grandparents' pool table and i hit my head as i fell.
my muscles are still quivering, and god, i'm still scared
i know that it won't happen again today, tomorrow, or probably not even in the next year
but i thought that maybe.... they had gone away
i've asked my brother what it looks like when this is about to happen, so if you guys ever are with me and you see my face suddenly go blank, or i start stumbling extremely hard, grab me. i won't respond to you for a few minutes, but you'll at least be able to prevent me from hurting myself.