#systemic trauma

[bruisedandbubbly]

is it radical acceptance or is it unlearning shame?

is there really any difference?

 

@bruisedandbubbly

[unwelcome-ozian]

[onceuponapuffin]

Metatron Meta

Okay, so first of all let’s get a few things straight: I do not like the Metatron. I hate his big dumb floaty face, and these thoughts of mine in no way, shape, or form are meant to imply otherwise. He is perfectly responsible for his own actions and behaviours and is deserving of all resulting consequences. This is not a defense, excuse, or justification for any of his bullshit.

Got it? Are we clear? Yes? Yes.

So from here on out, will you promise to take a few minutes to hear me out, and then a few more to sit and actually think about what I’m saying? Okay, good, I trust you.

Here’s what happened: One night I was indulging in a stress-relief, fan-fiction-type, self-insert fantasy where I get to tell the Metatron exactly what I think of him straight to his dumb face, and as I’m imagining this conversation, a lightbulb goes off. He feels threatened by Aziraphale and Crowley.

Feeling threatened is a defensive reaction; he’s afraid. And so the question became the following: What could the Metatron, the most powerful angel in Heaven, be afraid of?

Come, walk with me.

The only being I can possibly imagine that the Metatron would actually be afraid of is God, but more specifically, afraid of upsetting or disappointing Her.

People have generally come to the consensus that God hasn’t been around for a while. Anytime anyone wants to talk to God, they talk to the Metatron. Anytime they’re given instructions, it comes from the Metatron. The lack of God’s narration in Season 2 seems to support this conclusion.

As far as I’ve seen, people have been happy enough to leave it here: God’s not actually calling the shots anymore, oh that evil Metatron grabbing at power, Metatron is playing God and doing terrible things.

I haven’t seen anyone – not one person (and if there is someone else who’s asked, please forgive me – it’s entirely because I haven’t come across your work) – say “If God hasn’t been around for a while, what does that mean for Metatron?”

Think about it – his whole existence, his whole purpose, is to talk to God and relay Her instructions to the rest of the angels. If his purpose and reason for existence has disappeared...I mean how would you feel?

Let’s not forget that Metatron is an angel. He was created to be a being of literal love and joy and light. He loves God and loves his job as Her voice – and she disappeared a while ago and hasn’t come back.

Let me say that one more time to make sure it gets through – THE CENTRE OF HIS EXISTENCE LEFT AND HASN’T COME BACK.

Are you with me? Good, because we’re going deeper.

Okay so let’s suppose that the last time Metatron heard anything from God direct was, say, Job. Sometime after Job, God disappears. Metatron, worried (and smarter than the other angels) goes back through the files, and notices a few things: the children are the same, the plan was disrupted. Also Crowley and Aziraphale are there.

(Right now, our beloved husbands are just a footnote, but keep this in the back of your mind for later.)

 For now, Metatron realizes that God’s plan for the bet wasn’t carried out properly. Right now, Metatron – a being of purity and love and light, whose Most Precious Thing is his connection to God – thinks he has messed up.

Maybe he expects to Fall. Maybe he lives in terrible, shaking fear that God will be angry with him for a bit. Maybe what he doesn’t expect is the Silent Treatment. And maybe what he doesn’t expect, then, is for it to last. He doesn’t expect the radio silence. He’s been ghosted by the being he loves most.

Alright, he figures, he hasn’t Fallen so the Almighty can’t be THAT angry with him. All he needs to do is go back do doing things RIGHT. He just needs to do the best job he can and God will forgive him and come back and talk to him again. He just needs to do a Good Job. He just needs to Do Everything Right. He needs to follow The Plan, as he knows it, and if he does it well enough, She will come back to him. His existence, his purpose, depends on it. And so, nothing can get in the way.

He can NOT let ANYTHING get in the way of The Plan.

So he keeps up appearances. He can’t let anyone know that God isn’t around. Who knows what kind of chaos that might occur? (And chaos is certainly not what God wants.)

He sees Crowley and Aziraphale avert the First Apocalypse (and this is where something perks up in his memory), but no matter because The Plan includes a clause for The Second Coming. Then their miracle together gets his attention.

Oh no, he thinks, this is what messed up my life the first time. Not again, I’m so close. I’m so close to getting Her to love me again.

And so he separates them.

You see, the thing about abuse is that it’s a cycle. The abuse that Metatron is imposing on Aziraphale and Crowley comes from somewhere I think. Everything in Heaven was created to be for the sake of Love. Maybe She left hoping that it would encourage the angels to love the universe as She does – take away the distraction, so to speak. Maybe God realized that Love isn’t enough and Nope’d  out, but whatever happened, when She left it royally fucked up everything.

Metatron has been desperately trying to Do A Good Job so that God will give him a CRUMB of affection, and that attitude has trickled down until all of Heaven runs on it.

If you haven’t ever lived like that, you might not realize the way it warps you. The way that getting that affection becomes all-encompassing; the way you keep collecting crumbs, thinking you can make a whole cake.

I don’t have sympathy for the Metatron. Regardless of what has happened in our lives, we are in full control of what we do and how we do it. He has let his love for God warp him into something that he wasn’t supposed to be. He’s become driven by obsession, while convincing himself it’s love. The way I see it, he’s come to a point of selfishness. His desire has warped him into the antithesis of what God made him to be, and I hope that comes back around to bite him.

[ausetkmt]

CNN: Indigenous and Black children increasingly experiencing racism, new study shows

Indigenous and Black children increasingly experiencing racism, new study shows | CNN

A growing percentage of Indigenous and Black parents in the United States reported that their children have faced racist experiences, accord

A growing percentage of Indigenous and Black parents in the United States reported that their children have faced racist experiences, according to a study published in the Journal of Osteopathic Medicine.

The study looked at parental reporting of racist experiences their children faced between 2016 and 2020. Data came from the National Survey of Children’s Health, a nationally representative survey directed by groups within the US Department of Health and Human Services.

The researchers, led by Dr. Micah Hartwell at Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine at the Cherokee Nation, and Amy Hendrix-Dicken of the University of Oklahoma (Tulsa) School of Community Medicine, concluded there was an increase in reported racial incidents experienced by minority children from roughly 6.7% in 2016 to 9.3% by 2020.

By comparison, 1% of parents of White children reported their kids had faced discrimination in 2016, and that increased to 1.7% in 2020.

Structural racism is taking a toll on children’s mental health

Indigenous children experienced discrimination at rates ranging from 10.8% in 2016 to 15.7% in 2020, and Black children ranging from 9.69% in 2018 to 15.04% in 2020, according to the report.

Hendrix-Dicken says the findings are significant because exposure to discrimination in early childhood can have long-term consequences on health.

“Our study underlines the need for clinicians to expand their anti-racism resources and also highlights the role culturally competent health care can play in lessening the effects of adverse childhood experiences with racism,” said Hendrix-Dicken in a news release.

“As an Indigenous person myself, perhaps the most personally significant and surprising finding is the rate at which Indigenous children are experiencing discrimination,” added Hendrix-Dicken.

In a phone interview with CNN, Hartwell outlined strategies to mitigate the root cause of the findings.

“There is a ton of stuff minority communities have done if that was better represented within our education and childcare and just overall knowledge of coverage, that would provide a more equal context,” Hartwell said.

“Understanding cultural context, historical trauma and providing mental health services from a culturally informed perspective is the best thing the medical community can do,” added Hartwell who is also a Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Oklahoma State University.

Covenant Elenwo, a medical student who worked on the study with Hartwell told CNN, “When looking at some of the historical trauma that has come with being Black and Indigenous, we must understand some of the trauma has not been dealt with even now in 2022.”

[thedrugaddictgoddiedfor]

Yall ever want to write an extensive book about the traumatic effects of the school system, especially on oppressed and neurodiverse groups, but theres just so much to cover like its such a messy web and so many of the issues within the system feed off of each other and encourage each other and !!!!!! so instead you kinda just step back and look at the bigger picture, in awe of what a shit show it is, knowing deep down you’ll never have the words to capture its sickness in its entirety? no? just me?

[andalus88]

Ok so I know where JVN is trying to get at here but I have to disagree with the air quotes around "systemic issues" because it sets this notion that these systemic issues will always be there. I'm a Leftist and I do believe in the feasibility of radical solutions that can dismantle oppressive systems. I don't mean to get off on a liberal/progressive vs leftist debate here but as someone who's personal passions and professional life relates to this sector (housing and income insecurities), I disagree that you can't resolve these issues. You absolutely need to take the time for yourself for sure. But I don't agree with the notion here that you cannot dismantle racist institutions etc.

[wearemadeofmillions]

On a biological level, no race is more prone to mental illness than another. Being white doesn’t make you more likely to have chronic anxiety, the same way being black doesn’t make you more likely to have schizophrenia.⁣ ⁣ However, our personal experiences and the spaces we navigate DO impact our mental health. Racism, police brutality, systemic discrimination... these are all traumatic events faced at far higher rates by BIPOC. Numerous studies have documented the short and longterm effects of these experiences. Unsurprisingly, they lead to serious levels of psychological distress, feelings of low worth, chronic anxiety, depression and more.⁣ ⁣ Oftentimes mental health as a topic or social cause is separated from broader systemic issues. We cannot continue that trend. Anything that impacts emotional well-being is a mental health issue. And in this case, a crisis.