Disclaimer: I’m only on season 1(I know I’m late); I’m watching with a friend who has seen the show. I obviously don’t actually hate Keith, but I do enjoy making fun of him.
“I can’t even blame him [Keith], I’d also be stunned by Lance’s very presence”
“Is it bad that I’ve done something similar to this [what Keith did] at one point in my life?”
“Keith was pretty useless here but I almost can relate cuz I too, would be completely and utterly useless in this very situation.”
“I hate that Keith sounds like me when I’m trying to prove a point that I know I didn’t think through but I’m opening my mouth anyway.”
Me: I could always just not say anything and just admire from afar? Not commit? Feelings are scary man, you know I got commitment issues.
Friend: ...Weren’t you recently complaining about Keith’s lack of ability to properly handle his crush on Lance for probably those same reasons?
Me: SHUT UP! I AM NOT AS BAD AS KEITH!
Friend: You literally admitted you weren’t sure if you were dating one of your exes one time.
Me: ...yeah well I DON’T INSULT MY CRUSHES AT LEAST!
“Holy shit. If you put me in Voltron and made me a guy, I think I actually may look similar to Keith. We both got black hair, and I know he grows his hair out later, and we’re fucking short! Fuck this!”
“Yeah okay, I guess I probably like Lance a lot too but that’s the only thing I will admit having in common with Keith.”
“The only thing Keith does better than me is being gay cuz this guy does not have an ounce of hetero thoughts and I’m almost jealous of that fact.”
“It’s okay, Keith, I too suck at this.”
“Shit I actually kinda feel bad for Keith here. Like I’d personally be offended too if if something super intimate happened AND LANCE FUCKING FORGOT! I know it’s not his fault or anything but I’m still gonna be fucking salty and offended about it! Like what the hell?! Keith probably poured a part of his heart out (of screen, but still) but no, Lance fucking forgot. Funny, yeah, but man if I were in his shoes I’d probably have that exact same face cuz I can FEEL that level of WTF just thinking about it.”
Me: Okay, I’m claiming Lance right now. He’s my new fictional husband.
Friend: What about Keith?
Me: What about Keith? I’m pretty much the nicer version of Keith and Lance already likes him! That has to swing him in my favor!
Me: Look, I know some spoilers, but I can still talk about Voltron objectively alright?
Me: by the way have I mentioned how much Keith sucks right now?
Friend #2: You say Keith sucks, but you still don’t think Lance is a douchenozzel?
Me: THERE IS NO BADMOUTHING OF LANCE OF ANY KIND UNDER THIS ROOF!