listening instead of talking
One thing I always, and still, take pride in is the fact that I have outgrown my insecurities when it comes to interpersonal communications
I use to hate talking to people, I was very introverted and didn’t really like telling people how I felt about stuff. When I was younger it was a problem because I didn’t think I communicated things in the right way, especially since English isn’t my first language.
I hated the feeling of not being able to say how I felt properly. I felt like only extroverted people could have good relationships so I forced myself into being like them.
I had to teach myself tricks like complementing them, or commenting on something around us that was similar. I found myself, slowly, being able to talk, open up, and communicate in the ways that I never thought I could. It took time of course. I think it was over the course of 5-8 years, starting in grade 4 and going all the way through the end of my high school years.
One thing I feel that I lost during that process of becoming more sufficient in expressing myself was the ability to listen to others and let them talk. Before I wanted to be able to say what I wanted to say, now that I can, I feel like I’ve slowly lost the ability to listen and learn from others, not just give them my advice.
In this course I’m taking right now I’m learning about interpersonal communications. Coming into the class I had the perception that it would be a bird course and a class that I couldn’t really learn anything new from. Especially since it was a 100 level course. In the first chapter alone i was proven wrong. I learned that often times people lack proper communication not just because they may not know how to say things properly, but because the other person may not be actively listening to what the person is trying to say. May it be verbal or non verbal.
I think that’s my new problem, I’ve lost the ability or lack the ability to listen effectively. I don’t listen to understand their point of view, I just listen to be able to come up with other things to say. Hopefully this class can reteach me how to listen more and talk less, or at least find a good balance.
