Closed Starter: Tally Count
She makes sure she’s on time to meet Tai. She never wants to be late for appointments, and besides, this is important.
She looks at both her wrists as she waits for him, taking them in one last time. Perfectly balanced. Five dark tallies for five terrible years, and five light tallies for five years’ recovery.
Five years of sleepless nights, of crying herself to sleep, of crying herself awake. Five years of not being able to speak, to breathe, to think. Five years of locked doors and a locked mind, a locked heart. Five years of hair dye, of dark makeup, dark clothes. Five years of aggressively trying to art her feelings out.
Today marks the end of year five, and the beginning of year six. She opens her journal, going to her year five goals.
2. Talk to someone who helps you feel real.
Tai. God, she hated him. But there was nothing more realistic than arguing with him. He reminded her that she wasn’t alone, and reminded her to consider others. He didn’t try and act like she was fragile. He treated her like a real person. After some consideration, she checks off the goal. He’d helped her make it here, she wouldn’t let her usual response to him get in her way.
Still waiting. She wasn’t going to complain-- she didn’t have a strict schedule. This gave her time to think, opening to the year six goals page. To consider this year, and what she’d want to improve upon.
Bingo.
2. Learn to talk about what happened without minimizing others’ traumas, no matter how much lesser they seem.
As she’s writing, she doesn’t initially realize he’s there.
@askchaghatai
