#tammye

[artemiscalled]

You can’t antagonize and evangelize at the same time.

That’s why the greatest commandment is love.

- Mama Tammye, Queer Eye reboot, S2 E1

[gnghtngo]

“And, you know, it’s just God’s amazing grace that we stand here in this beautiful facility today. Before he gave the vision, he already made provisions cause he knew you guys would wind up together, even before you were formed in your mother’s womb. He knew you.”

- Mamma Tammye, Queer Eye S2E01

[tan-antoni]

[watchower]

I’m currently watching the reboot of Queer Eye (another thing I couldn’t watch if I was a jehovah’s witness because gays) and I love it.

I wanted to talk about the 1st episode of the 2nd season with the christian black lady Tammye and his gay son Myles who wants to finish their community center project for their homecoming.

Myles went to the church but stopped because he doesn’t feel welcome anymore after coming out as gay.

I’m going to rewatch quickly to talk about it in order.

I relate to what Jonathan said:

The Church is what I feel alienated by, not God. I feel loved and accepted by God and Jesus. The politics of the Church is what made me feel not welcome. It was a choir of people saying “I love you. I just don’t accept your lifestyle. - Jonathan

I’m not in the LGBTQ+ community, or I don’t know actually, I already talked about how I’m maybe demisexual but I’m not 100% sure. It’s a bit confusing with the jw education I had. And I read people saying ace are part of the community, others saying no so idk but anyways.

Now that I woke up from the jw influence I really think religion isn’t a good thing. I have no problem with people thinking there is a god behind the universe but I have a problem with people starting to say things like “God exist and you have to do this, and not do that or he’s going to kill you/send you in hell” and disapproving of people having other opinions. All the crusades and war and suffering and death because of religions...

I relate to Bobby when Gene (friend of Tammye) offered the men to visit the church and he refused. I have a different history than him but I don’t think I’ll be able to go to a kingdom hall anymore.

I don’t like being involved with the Church, because there’s so much hate against gays and fights against our just basic rights that I have a hard time making peace with it. - Bobby

I’ll come back to Bobby later, I want to talk about when Tan asked Tammye what she wears to church and she explained that she’s the head usher so she usually wear something black or black and white and I’ve find it very interesting. Because, she’s a woman and she had this responsability of ushering people to their seats. In jw world it’s impossible, you have to be a man to have this kind of role. The only time I heard about women doing this was during conventions and they have a smaller role than the men. (I think you can see that in the video “Leaked Attendant Training Videos” by John Cedars)

The conversation between Karamo and Myles was interesting too:

I’m so blessed to have the mother I have because mostly, these mothers here, if you’re gay, you’re gone. [...] It’s just walking down the street, being called the F word. Being called the N word sometimes. And being bullied, from the start. Just because I was different. I talked and acted differently. I just started feeling lonely you know? - Myles

I see a lot of myself in Myles. I understand what it was like to grow up in the South with a loving family. And then to feel some rejection from your family, community, church. Feeling like, what do I do now? - Karamo

It’s the same thing that happens in the jw organization, if someone come out as gay, lesbian or anything LGBTQ+, they are in such a difficult position: they can get kicked out from their house, being called sinful, a pedophile, a disgusting being, can be disfellowshipped and shunned... You can’t be part of the LGBTQ+ community while being a jw. Impossible. Unless you hide it and stay single all your pitiful jw life and feels guilty about your sexual orientation or gender (if trans).

Myles talking about his relationship with Tammye:

When I first came out, it was really hard. She came up on the small-town Christian belief that you were condemned and it was disgusting and it’s an abomination. So she projected those feelings onto me. Which is really hard, to the point where I didn’t like being around her. I didn’t like being at home. But she got cancer my senior year of high school. That gave her the time to really sit back and reflect upon her life. - Myles

Now it’s time for what Bobby said to Tammye:

You know I grow up really religious. There wasn’t a day I wasn’t at church. It was my life. Those people were my family. And I knew from a young age that I was gay. And I’d be down here at that altar every Sunday, just crying and beg God not to make me gay. Once everyone there found out, they completely turned their back on me. You know? I wouldn’t step foot in your church today. The other guys went in. I wouldn’t. Because I told myself I'd never go back to a church. I was so hurt. And I know that’s what Myles is going through. - Bobby

Like I said, I’m sure a lot of LGBTQ+ exjw would relate to this. There’s an exjw  youtuber, called Mentally Diseased who’s gay and he told his story in the video “My Story Leaving Jehovah’s Witnesses (Gay EXJW)” which I invite you to watch because it’s very telling.

Tan asked Tammye what was it like when Myles told her he was gay:

He was around 14. It took me aback for a minute, and for a while, and it was a process. [...] When God enlightened my heart, we sat around this very table. [...] And I said “Mama needs to apologize to you.” And he looked at me in the eyes, and he was like, “For what, Mama?” I said, “Because Mama loves you. You know that, right? “ And he said “Yes”. I said “But I need to ask your for your forgiveness, because Mama has not loved you inconditionally.” And you know, he looked at me “Mama I forgave you a long time ago.” And I said “No, I need to hear you say that.” I said, because the Bible that I read tells me if I have wronged somebody, I mistreated someone, to ask their forgiveness first, and then I’m free to go to the Father. And I told him at that point “Your Mama has your back.” - Tammye

She thought her faith told her to judge somebody who’s gay. But she chose to see past that, and she saw the individual. She saw the person that her son is and changed her mind. She says it was a religious experience but she made that choice. Not all parents do that. - Antoni

And sadly... this is something that could never happen in the jw organization unless the parents wake up. A thing that come often in discussions with exjw is inconditional love. The love the jws had is conditional. The day you “sin” or stop believing and jws finds out about it and you are judged non repentant, you are shunned by all the jw you know, including your family unless you repent and come back.

Now I want to rant a bit lol, I think Tammye is lovely but!! I think I would want to slap her if she said this to me: (it was at the end when the guys show her the community center finished)

[...] You know it's just God’s amazing grace that we stand here in this beautiful facility today. Before he gave the vision, he already made provisions, ‘cause he knew you guys would wind up together. Even before you were formed in your mothers’ wombs, he knew you. I’m just... I’m thankful. - Tammye

At least she told a very nice comment to each guys after that. But omg I would get pissed if someone told me that anything I achieved in my life was because of god’s will. No. Everything I did came from my own strengtht, from myself. Not an hypothetical god out there.

You have no proof about god helping in any way in this community center project. I have no proof that god doesn’t exist but all I can see is that everything came from the Studio auditionning gays people to reboot Queer Eye, the Fab 5 being choosen, Gene calling for them to come and Bobby’s skills in design.

To finish on a positive note after my rant, I liked how Tammye, as a woman, was able to go on the stage in the church and talk freely like this. The only time women are able to go on stage in the jw organization is to show how to preach by doing little scenes or when being interviewed. A jw woman can’t teach to men. For example, if she’s doing a bible study to a lady and a man is present (husband, son, anyone) she has to put a head covering. More info on this in the John’s Cedars video “Jehovah’s Witnesses & Head Coverings”.

Lastly I want to give some links from the website JWFacts runs by an exjw about how LGBTQ+ people are viewed by the jw organization:

Watchtower View of Homosexuality & Transgenderism

Quotes on Homosexuality

[ikromovas]

Just rewatched Tammye’s episode of Queer Eye

[passing-quotes]

You can't antagonise and evangelise at the same time.

Tammye, God Bless Gay, Queer Eye S0201

[quickwitter]

Insomnia Cure?

I awoke to dogs barking in the middle of the night. By the time I assessed the situation whatever had been unfolding had taken place and everyone had already moved on. I however, was now wide awake.

I’d been notified by Netflix the Queer Eye Season 2 was available and I thought perfect show to doze off to, right?!

In the first episode, the FAB5 are in Gay, GA and the client is Tammye a God-lovin’ force of nature, and her son Miles who has recently returned from Atlanta. She’s looking for help with her son, organizing a homecoming event for the church, and needs help finishing a community center.

I didn’t know anything about this episode so my expectations were pretty low - I don’t recommend TV shows much, but WATCH THIS EPISODE. This is epic.

Photo: source

[a-gay-disaster]

Hi, yes, I want Mama Tammye to adopt me