#taz headcanons

[lithiumseven]

Ned Chicane drinks the sweetest, syrupiest, drowning in creamer AND milk coffee known to man. Duck once took a sip out of Ned’s mug instead of his own by accident and the shock gave him a coughing fit so bad he almost died

[into-the-clintoris]

"I'm hitting him with my transgenderification beam" not me. I am wrapping him up in my transgenderification blanket. I am singing him a bisexualification lullaby. I am leaving aceification kisses on his little forehead. you monster

[mspainttaz]

hey do u have any hcs about taako that will absolutely fuck me up and make me cry for 6 hours

I tried to keep it short but I got carried away SO here’s some taako headcanons:

1. his “idiot wizard” thing was partly because he couldn't remember where he learned his own magic from.... embarrassing.... and partly because hes so used to using magic to protect Just Himself that its not til joining THB that he really connects to all the ways he can use his magic. (protecting others comes easier to him than he expected)

2. Lucretia was one of his favorite during stolen century. he took one look at her and went “ah yes sister number two!!!!”. he still sees his sister in her and that makes not being able to forgive her hurt more

3. Taako tries to learn healing spells Because Magnus Won’t Stop Rushing In and he Freaks Out at the idea of losing this human he just got to know.... rip tho because hes not very good at them and “practicing cantrips” with Merle gets. weird sometimes.

4. when he got voidfished the first time Taako couldn't quite appreciate what was happening/what he did. now that he remembers.... he still gets sick and shaky seeing Barry too close to an edge. he KNOWS he’s a lich but it makes his stomach drop anyway

5. Lup dying during stolen century never gets any easier

6. my favorite sad Taako hc is that on Bad Days he cant do mirrors!! his hand will move or his expression shifts and..... static. sometimes he feels vague deja vu he can ignore. sometimes it triggers a full dissociative episode. his brain wants to remember lup and this leaves him unable to recognize himself over tiny things he can never quite pin down

[arcanist-archivist]

ok i have another taako and lup headcanon lol (this assumes that months and zodiac signs work the same way as they work in our world so bear with me).

despite being twins, taako and lup were born under different zodiac signs. taako was born in the late hours of july 22nd, making him a cancer. lup, though, was born just after midnight on july 23rd, which would mean she’s a leo.

[punkahudsonia]

OK everyone saying that Barry Bluejeans has all the hallmarks of a theater kid (dramatic nerd, silly spooky voice when it was not necessary, cryptic as shit for no reason, did I mention the drama) are correct but also consider:

- wears denim, sturdy and functional choice which offers protection while working around the shop space

- capable of organizing and tracking details

- can follow people/signal them without attracting too much attention

- sometimes uses loud quasi-whisper to inspire fear in others

Friends I submit to you that Barold J. Bluejeans wasn’t just a theater kid. I submit to you that he was a STAGE MANAGER. 

[desiree-harding]

Look all I’m saying is that Kravitz is canonically probably the most fucking mysterious man in Faerun.

I mean as the Grim Reaper he’s not going to tell anyone what he does for a living because like he’s gotta go after these necromancers. And he has a cool scythe that can teleport him in and out of his and Taako’s house without ever having to use a door. And that Taako definitely shows him off at like social events and Taako is the biggest celebrity in Fareun so...

I mean, from the perspective of just like your average Faerunian, Taako (the biggest celebrity in the planar system) has a husband who 

1. Never leaves the house without him

2. Is very attractive (as is mentioned by Griffin every time Kravitz appears in the podcast, basically)

3. Has no discernible profession or pastime outside of just... being Taako’s companion

...Kravitz... Kravitz is just a trophy husband in Faerun’s eyes

It’s definitely Faerun celebrity news that Kravitz is just a nobody Taako plucked off the street because he’s hot and like the press isn’t sure how to feel about the fact that their most popular universe savior just like... has a kept man as his husband, apparently.

[luminousbravery]

Can you do Murrit, Dismas, and Taz that are protective to their s/o to the point they see them crying or get badly injured? I love reading all of your headcanons so far ^_^ and hope u keep finding your inspirations to keep going! Don’t also burn yourself out :)

Don't worry! I tend to take frequent breaks (more than i like to admit, hehe...) But!!! I do find inspiration quite easily! I hope you like this,

DISMAS, TAZ, AND MURRIT WHO ARE PROTECTIVE OF THEIR S/O

DISMAS

See, our boy here is FERAL.

He won't let anyone talk shit about you to his face.

So they're going to have to try real hard to even TOUCH you.

If anyone means harm, the daggers come out quick.

TAZ

She's already quite scary....

So people don't mess with you too much.

But of course, there's always the occasion they do.

And which in response, she towers over them, and quietly asks if they have anything else to say.

MURRIT

He's got some...connections.

So people will learn quickly not to hurt you physically or mentally.

He gets quiet if anyone insults you, or tries to hurt you.

Then steps out to have a talk with Dismas for help.

[kindofwriter]

I am starved for balance content, please, tell me about your extremely specific Taako designs

Lol, big same, I started taz waaay too late. I literally cannot even begin to explain what kind of can o’ worms you’ve opened up there, OP, this is gonna be a goddamn essay! I imagine Taako changes his style massively depending on the arc.

But first, the basics: I will accept nothing other than this boy being from Fantasy Mexico. He has brown skin. Brown eyes, but flecked with purple in a cool, magic kinda way. Freckles, bc that’s cute. A real chonky boy, bc I want nice things for fat people, and Taako is a very nice thing. Taller than Magnus with the hat, but only because it’s a very tall hat. And, of course, the iconic tooth gap.

And now for specifics you never asked for or wanted!

Here There be Gerblins:

Taako just has the world’s most obvious adventurer outfit. He’s a classic celebrity on the run - trying to wear clothes that will help him blend in, but his face is still adorned with gorgeous glamour spells (aka stage makeup). He has loose, belted brown pants, a loose pirate-esque cream shirt, and a brown cloak, topped with a matching brown wizard’s hat. His hair is pulled back into a long, blond plait. He just looks kind of sad.

Murder on the Rockport Limited:

Cha’ boy has some knowledge back and he’s shown the fuck up! A tailored evening-blue suit with silver trim, one-inch silver, heeled boots, a blue hat with a silver buckle, pale blue lipstick, and flowing, straightened silver hair, with a pair of small, blue-tinted oval glasses sat on his nose. I also really love the idea that the umbra staff changes to match Taako’s style, and turns from red to blue with silver frills.

Petals to the Metal:

I imagine that for the first half of the arc, after Rockport, Taako has a bit of a cute conductor thing going on. A loose fitting dark blue suit with a cute little blue conductors hat. Long, wavy brown hair. Blue eyeshadow and bronze lipstick.

But then after they steal from the racing gang he’s in full Racer Boy couture. Black leather pants, black leather jacket, studded choker, red, cropped cotton shirt, bright red lipstick. And he re-does his hair so he has a black fringe and red waves, which get tied into two mangeable little space-buns for the race.

Crystal Kingdom:

We all know what the space suits look like. But as for the rest of the look: bubblegum pink hair, curled and messily pulled back into those same buns, with matching lipstick. The Soft Boi look.

The Eleventh Hour:

We all know of the iconic mauve skirt, but I imagine he had a matching fringed jacket and hat, cropped white T-shirt, and white cowboy boots. Pink, circular sunglasses. Loose, wavy, ginger hair. And cute little cherry earrings, bc why not?

The Suffering Game:

The ultimate hot boi circus look. Candy-floss-pink fringe, with candy-floss-blue space buns. Matching blue lipstick, and matching pink heart-sunglasses. A pearly-white, almost iridescent, jacket with matching skirt and heels, and a pink crop top.

After his legs are mangled in the first challenge Taako quickly (w/ magic, ofc!) changed his outfit: flat, supportive boots, long, loose fitting pants, a white shirt and a blue and pink ring masters coat. The sunglasses are g o n e, lipstick wiped away along with the blood, makeup sweated off, and space buns now two messy tangles he shakes out into waves.

I imagine the spell that takes his beauty chews his hair up a la howl’s moving castle, leaving him with a cute, but ultimately awkward and frizzy bob of wavy hair. It also strips all the dye, leaving it natural. A lot of the scars he got that didn’t get healed immediately are visible again.

The glamour spell smooths his hair out and allows him to dye it back, but it needs to grow out again naturally.

The Stolen Century:

The classique IPRE uniform, plus long, wavy red hair and a blond fringe. Obviously this look would change depending on where they land and what they do, this is just the re-set look.

Story and Song:

Whilst the turn-around between Suffering Game and Story and Song is literal minutes I imagine Taako used magic or returned to his quarters to get rid of his blood-stained Suffering Game garments. He gets a long, black skirt, supportive boots, black tights, a black shirt, and a red cloak. Not a robe, just a regular red cloak, but it feels familiar and nice to be fighting in.

I imagine when he sees Kravitz and drops the glamour spell his legs give way (bc there’s no healing in wonderland!) and Kravitz kinda catches him and steadies him, then, without asking any questions, summons him a cool, raven’s-head walking cane. Lup eventually makes him a new umbra staff, to support him when he’s adventuring, but he uses Kravitz’ cane around the house and in town, bc spells are kind of tiring and it’s nice to be able to walk without holding yourself up with magic.

Over time Taako stops using the disguise spell daily. It’s exhausting, and he feels comfortable around his boyfriend, his sister, his best friends - his family - Ren, Angus, most of his students, actually. He still likes to look perfect on occasion, he is still, y’know, Taako? From TV? But he feels very happy and supported in his life, and that happiness no longer relies on him looking his best.

Just, I have the whole world in my head, every tiny detail of it, and it’s so vivid and whole. Fuck, I just really love podcasts. Thanks for the excuse to rant, OP.