Arin made Dan a cup of hot chocolate, with whipped cream swirled on top. It was coming up to 1am, and Dan was still here, so… he figured he might as well make him feel at home. He sat the older man down on his sofa, bringing the same blanket Dan had used to comfort him the last time.
“Thanks…” Dan sighed, as he took the warm mug from Arin. Arin sat next to Dan, sighing to himself as he stared forward at the TV. A movie was playing in French, but it was an old movie, and Arin had only put it on for background noise.
“Dan.” Arin looked over to Dan. “How long do you reckon you’ll be around? It’s still a little weird for me to have another person in the house.” Arin admitted. Dan was staring ahead, burned out. He felt numb, and scared, but… mostly tired.
“I have no idea.” Dan shrugged. “Could be hours, could be days .” He sipped his drink carefully with a soft smile. “Ah… this is really good, man.”
“No worries.” Arin patted his shoulder lightly. He took his hand back and fumbled with his sleeves, not knowing what he should do in a situation like this.
“So, nothing happened with Suzy?” Dan continued casual conversation, trying not to linger too much on the current situation.
“I didn’t go.” Arin frowned. “My anxiety started playing up, and I… I bought tickets, but…” He looked down and fiddled with a loose thread on his sleeve. Dan gently rested a hand on Arin’s back.
“Hey no… that’s alright. There’ll always be another chance.” Dan reassured him. “It’d be nuts if things worked out fine first time, right?” And Arin nodded along with him.
The two of them remained silent. Arin busied himself with the threads on his sleeve, and Dan spaced out as he tried to make sense of what was going on in the movie on the TV. Alas, he hadn’t the slightest idea. He wondered if this Arin was fluent in French.
“It’s pretty late.” Arin looked up at the clock on the wall. “We could both do with some sleep, mm?” He smiled warmly, standing up and holding a hand out to Dan. Dan held Arin’s hand and dragged himself up with ease, a quiet yawn escaping him.
Arin led them both upstairs and gestured to one of the doors. “That’s… Dan’s room. You can sleep there, if you want. But if it’s weird, you can sleep in my room instead.” Arin smiled nervously. It’d been weeks since his own Dan disappeared. Maybe that was what happened to this Dan.
“I’ll take Dan’s room.” He gave a nod, resting his hand on the handle. “You’ll be okay by yourself tonight? Do you want me to stick with you?” He asked. He figured Dan had been away for quite a while, and he didn’t want to wake up to Arin’s lifeless body somewhere in the house. But Arin was quick to shake his head.
“No— No I’m okay, but thanks.” Arin laughed sheepishly, going to his own door. “I promise I’ll still be here when you wake up. Hell, I might even be awake.” He snorted. “...I hope you get some rest.” He said in a softer voice. “I understand this must be hard for you.”
“...Thanks.” Dan smiled, a hint of sadness in his voice. “I hope you sleep well, too.” He entered this dimension’s Dan’s room hesitantly, closing the door behind him.
This Dan’s room was quite plain, but notable things in the room included a framed photo of Arin and Dan when they were younger, an orange bottle of pills on the bedside table and a glass of water that had been untouched for God knows how long.
Dan carefully made his way over to the photo frame, squinting at the image curiously. They both looked so happy! But the picture looked like it had been taken a few years back — with Arin’s slimmer physique and Dan’s shorter hair. Dan wondered how long the two had known each other, and how they’d met. From how Arin sounded about it all last time, they must be incredibly close — maybe even lovers? But there was no evidence that that was the case.
Dan glanced at the pills as he sat on the bed. He checked the label. They were antidepressants, but they were labelled for Arin. That was odd… for Dan to keep Arin’s medication in his room, rather than in Arin’s. He tried not to think too much about it.
He laid across the bed, spreading his arms and legs out as he stared up at the ceiling blankly. It felt wrong to be under the covers in a bed he didn’t belong in. He let his mind linger on his own Arin back at home, slowly closing his eyes as he attempted to rest.
Arin found it hard to sleep that night. In the morning, Suzy combed her fingers through his hair - it seemed to be one of the only things that calmed Arin nowadays. Arin cuddled into Suzy’s side with a sigh, shaking his head.
“He’s still not back…” He mumbled into Suzy’s shoulder. It was nearly 10am now, and Dan hadn’t contacted them, or shown up at the office. Arin was meant to be in the office two hours ago, but Suzy let him get a few more hours of sleep instead.
“I know, baby…” Suzy frowned, kissing his forehead softly. Suzy, like everyone else in the office, was worried about Arin. It’d been a while since Dan and Arin spent time apart from each other since they got together. And now Dan was gone - and nobody knew if he was coming back.
Arin screamed when he saw another Dan appear in the Grump Space. He could immediately tell that this wasn’t his own Dan. The man who stood before him had much shorter hair tousled on top of his head, and he also seemed slightly younger than the Dan that he knew. Dan stared at Arin in shock, body jolting as Arin screamed at him.
“You have legs!” Dan pointed at Arin in exclamation. Arin’s eyebrows nearly shot off of his forehead.
“Legs?!” Arin couldn’t even begin to understand where this conversation was going to go. His mind immediately wandered to a universe in which he had no legs . “The fuck do you mean, dude?!”
Dan smoothed a hand over his hair and sighed. “Look… can we sit down? I have no fucking clue what’s going on…” And then it clicked for Arin - this was the first time that this Dan had ever dimension-travelled.
The two of them sat down in the recording space, Dan looking at all of the equipment with utmost curiosity. Arin had never had to deal with this kind of thing before, and it daunted him to go about explaining what might be happening.
“So… you’re not the Arin that I know, clearly.” Dan gave a friendly but awkward smile, tapping his fingers against the couch. Arin was sat next to him, arms folded across his chest.
“What did you mean by… ‘I have legs’...?” Arin asked cautiously, which caused Dan to giggle.
“Oh… well, the Arin I know is a mermaid.” Dan said simply.
“Hey uh… Arin?” The scraggy-bearded chief officer approached his captain nervously. Their ship, known only as ‘The Cruiser’, was currently gliding over planet Earth. It was only a small vessel, with two floors and a minute selection of rooms. Each wall had a full-length window embedded into it, which gave the two crew members a clear view of where exactly they were (not that they needed it, since Barry was an expert at navigating the vast distances of space). Arin was stood by the control panel, looking out over the rounded surface of Earth. Upon hearing Barry shuffle in, he turned his head to look at the younger man in concern.
“You’ve left him by himself?” Arin furrowed his brow, one hand hovering over a set of buttons on the panel. Barry scuffed his shoe against the floor, looking down shamefully. Upon seeing how nervous Barry was, Arin settled, looking back across to the front window. “Is he still being unreasonable?”
“He…!” Barry was quick to straighten his back, looking to Arin with a determined face. “I don’t think he’s lying, Arin. You know Sexbang wouldn’t go this far. He’d have had his fun for five minutes, then have gotten bored.” Barry tried to explain. Arin merely rolled his eyes and used one hand to gesture Barry to the control panel, Barry obediently hurrying to his side. They switched places silently, Barry hovering both hands over the control panel, looking to Arin for further instruction.
“Keep the ship on her course.” Arin patted Barry’s shoulder, beginning to walk back to the room where their Sexbang-lookalike was being held. “I’ll talk some sense into him.” And before Barry could argue, Arin was already out of the door.
Dan had been chained to a thick metal pole, which threatened to zap him if he tried to break away from him. He figured it was something to do with electric currents running through the pole. He had moved himself to sit on the floor next to the pole, staring at the cuff on his hand until Arin finally walked in.
Dan wasn’t too bothered about being held captive, because he knew in around an hour he’d be back home anyway. It just so happened that this time around, he’d been mistaken for an enemy – more specifically, Danny Sexbang, from in-universe Ninja Sex Party. He’d only been able to speak to Barry so far, this being his first time meeting Arin; Barry had been more understanding than he’d expected, but he was still sceptical.
And when Dan looked up at Arin, he wasn’t surprised to see Arin Neverbone from in-universe NSP. He held a certain presence about him, with a constant frown on his face, dressed in hot pink outfit. It was like someone had smashed this version of Arin with the Arin from Starbomb.
Arin walked up to him and crouched down by his side, a small sigh escaping him. “I don’t know what you’re trying to do here, but the game's over, Danny Sexbang. We’ve won already, so don’t try to act like you didn’t just appear here and we didn’t just capture you.” Arin scanned Dan’s face, and a sense of unsettling doubt weighed in his chest as ‘Danny’ showed little sign of understanding.
“My name’s Dan, firstly.” Dan began with a smile. He wasn’t scared at all, which made things easier. “Dan Avidan. People call me Danny sometimes. I’m a dimension traveller.” With that, he held out the hand that wasn’t cuffed to the metal pole, hoping that mentioning his ‘occupation’ as such would fully explain himself to Arin. Arin’s breath hitched.
“A dimension traveller…?” Arin said softly, crossing his legs so that he was properly sat next to Dan. “We’ve been trying to work on shit like that for ages.” Dan was surprised with the sudden informality, but accepted it – after all, this was just another version of Arin Hanson.
Dan found himself explaining his situation, Arin listening along with interest. Yadda yadda, an hour every day. Yadda yadda, a different Arin every time. Yadda yadda, trying to make a difference.
Once he’d given Arin the information he’d needed, the Captain nodded, scratching his beard. “I’m sorry we mistook you for an enemy.” He apologised. And with the simple gesture of a hand, the chains from around the metal pole (and Dan) were released. Dan wriggled his wrist around with a small smile on his face. “I thought we’d finally found him.”
“...Danny Sexbang?” Dan questioned. A small nod followed from Arin. “Are you chasing after him, or something?”
“We had an alliance, and he broke it.” Arin began. Dan’s eyes widened in realisation. This was Samurai Abstinence Patrol, wasn’t it? “That’s when it started, anyway. But one day, Ninja Brian- he’s the chief officer- sent to us that Danny had gone missing.” Arin fiddled with one of the black fingerless gloves on his hands. “We’ve renewed the alliance until we find him.”
Dan was silent for a moment. Everything was slowly starting to piece together. Some Arins he’d met didn’t know a Dan, and others… their Dan just straight-up disappeared – like the mermaid, or the guy who lived in Paris. And Arin mentioned having a nightmare about him disappearing… his stomach was suddenly filled with dread. Looking at Arin, he took a sharp breath in.
“I think we’re disappearing.” Dan blurted out. Arin looked confused, so Dan continued. “All of us. Every instance of Dan Avidan that ever existed.” Dan looked down at his own hands and gulped. Arin scooted closer to Dan with a frown.
“But why would they be doing that?” Arin asked gently. He seemed worried, and Dan didn’t blame him. He was worried, too. Dan was trying to come up with an answer, but he couldn’t think of one.
Then, something struck him – how tense had they been before they started dating? It had been a brief comment from Arin, about how Dan was doing anything other than dedicating time to Grump sessions, and when he wasn’t busy, he was too tired to even hang out. Had anything changed since they started dating? Sure, they’d cuddle and…
Oh God. They’d cuddle and Dan would sleep through Arin staying up. Then they’d be too tired to spend as much time as they’d planned at the Grump Space, and go back home. Then Dan would go out…
Oh God.
The cycle would repeat itself constantly. For days and days. Without cuddles, how long had this been going on for?! And did Dan ever take a moment to check how Arin was holding up?! Was he too busy, even for such a simple thing as that?! Arin dedicated hours of his time for Dan – meeting with him after every outing, staying awake to make sure Dan didn’t disappear.
Oh good fucking God.
Realising Arin was staring at him in concern, and that his breathing was becoming quicker by the second, he spoke. “I haven’t been there for him.” His eyes focused on the cold metal tiles of the floor. “The other Universes derive from the Arin that I know.” And that’s all Arin needed to hear to understand.
They were both calmer after a while. Dan had spoken about ‘living in the moment’, and though the subject was heavy on their minds, Arin insisted he gave Dan a tour of The Cruiser. They finished up at the front window, next to Barry, who had to receive a full explanation from Dan yet again. Arin took control of the ship, Barry going off to calculate their next movements.
“Ninja Brian thinks we killed him.” Arin admitted, staring out at the surface of Earth once again. Dan snorted
“Are you kidding? Jeez, I knew the Samurai Abstinence Patrol was vicious, but…” He giggled, Arin turning his head quickly in confusion. “If anyone’s gonna kill anyone, it’s Ninja Brian himself, right?”
“How… do you know about us?” Arin didn’t seem tense, merely curious, perking up. Dan ran a hand through his own hair and chuckled softly.
“It’s a song I wrote for my band, Ninja Sex Party.” Dan grinned as he saw the excitement rise on Arin’s face. “Something like… ‘No sex until you’re married’, am I right?”
Arin nodded excitedly. “Oh my God, we exist in another universe?! That’s so cool!” He quickly looked back at the front window. “Damn… guess we’re trying to make a difference somewhere.” He smiled happily to himself.
The two stood in comfortable silence, watching the stars twinkle. Dan never thought he’d get to go to space – he knew Arin would be jealous, and their good friend Mark, too. Speaking of which…
“This is gonna be a little random, but…” Dan looked around the main hub of the ship with a hum. “Do you know a guy named Mark? Mark Fischbach? Or uhh… Markiplier?”
Arin looked back at Dan and raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. He’s on the communications team for our crew, but it’s only me and Barry for the time being. We’re short-staffed for the summer – people got family to see, holidays and stuff…”
Dan felt a giddy smile come across him – he’s happy that there was at least one Mark that finally got to go to space.
Dan had a coughing fit back at the Grump Space bathroom, the sudden change in air quality throwing him off. He stood up and cleared his throat properly before wandering to see Arin. He found Suzy first, who was one of the only people at the offices.
“Welcome back, traveller.” Suzy smiled, patting the seat next to her. She’d been by herself for a while, it seemed, and needed the company. “Did you have a good trip?”
“I went to fuckin’ space!” Dan grinned. Suzy gasped, turning her whole chair to face Dan. They chattered for a good fifteen minutes, before it hit Dan that Arin wasn’t in his own office – the door was wide open.
“Where’s Arin? Is he okay? He was afraid, Suzy fiddling with the necklace around her neck.
“I don’t know.” She said. Never a good thing. “He was really quiet when you left. But I think he was like that anyway, right?” Dan nodded. “I tried talking to him, but he didn’t really want to. So, I went out, bought his favourite ice cream and gave him a huge tub of it.” She laughed nervously. “It seemed like a good idea at first, but I genuinely think he’s torn through the entire tub.” She’d felt bad for that; Suzy had only wanted to cheer Arin up, but she couldn’t know that Arin would use that as comfort food, or that it would make him feel worse. Dan listened sadly, standing up.
“He’s probably in the Grump Room. I’ll talk to him.” Dan waved to Suzy before heading over there. He was already scared for Arin. And after what he’d realised earlier, he was even more scared now.
Arin was curled up with a blanket and, of course, the now empty tub of ice cream. The room was dark, only illuminated by the light of their gaming screen, which was showing some kind of Mega Man game. Dan didn’t know which one – he wasn’t an expert, unlike Arin. Arin didn’t even hear him come in, staring at the screen as he fiddled lazily with the buttons on his controller.
“Hey big guy…” Dan slowly approached Arin, sitting at the other end of the couch. Arin jolted, looking at Dan in surprise.
“Shit, is it midnight already?” Arin seemed genuinely shocked, resting his controller to one side. Dan nodded, rubbing Arin’s arm as he tucked one leg under himself.
“Yeah, buddy. How long have you been locked up in here?” Dan asked, sliding his hand up to thread his fingers through Arin’s hair. Arin tilted his head ever so slightly, closing his eyes, enjoying the relaxing feeling of Dan’s touch.
“Since you went.” Arin admitted quietly. Dan just nodded, removing the empty plastic tub from between Arin’s thighs. Arin shifted slightly and sighed. “Sorry.”
“You don’t gotta apologise for that.” Dan responded just as quiet, putting the tub aside and out of sight. “I’m just glad I’m here now, y’know? I’m sorry I didn’t really bring it up earlier. I know this is gonna be a long conversation, and I wanted to be ready for it.” Dan explained. Arin looked confused, shifting so that he was propped up against the armrest of the couch.
“What do you mean?” Arin asked. Dan’s expression saddened. He rose to go to the door, putting up a ‘do not disturb’ sign on the door (one they barely ever used when recording) and locking it. Arin watched him, only slightly terrified, and Dan returned to sit on the couch closer to Arin.
“Arin…” Dan started, clearing his throat. He had no idea how to approach this. He opened his mouth to continue, but Arin interrupted him almost immediately.
“What about today? Where’d you go? Who did you see? Was I super-smokin’ hot?” Arin grinned, obviously trying to change the subject. Dan just stared at Arin in disbelief.
“This is serious, Arin.” Dan shook his head. “Like… Like, real talk? But actual real talk.” Dan hoped that Arin would understand, and Arin seemed to just about, but something was holding him back about being totally serious with Dan. Was he hiding something?
“Did I do something wrong…?” Arin asked, his eyes a little wider. Dan quickly shook his head and reached across to hold onto Arin’s hand.
“No, no…” Dan squeezed Arin’s hand with a sad smile.
“Oh.” Arin looked at their hands, squeezing back. “Then, what’s up?”
Dan drew in a long, deep breath. This was definitely going to be a heavy conversation, and he wasn’t sure that he was ready for it. Maybe he wasn’t. But Arin was watching him expectantly, and if they didn’t talk about it soon…
“Arin, how are you feeling?” Dan watched the younger man’s reaction, studying every bit of body language he could recognise. Arin seemed to tense under Dan’s eye, itching at the back of his neck. A less-immediate response from Arin only made Dan worry more. “Okay, on a scale from like… one to ten, where the higher numbers are happier. If that’s easier?”
Arin took a moment to think, staring at the gaming screen in front of them. He never wanted to worry anyone, but Dan and everyone else back at the office seemed to be worried enough already, so he guessed he failed on that one.
“I don’t know.” Arin started, averting his eyes from Dan’s concerned stare. “I thought I was one of those people who, like, are always fine and shit. I’ve never had anything be so difficult.” Arin sniffed and looked back to Dan. Dan rubbed his thumb over the back of Dan’s hand.
“You don’t have to be fine. It’s okay not to be fine. Nobody can be fine all of the time. Then we’d be, like...:” Dan looked at the ceiling as he tried to come up with some sort of analogy. “Like Smiler from the Emoji Movie, you know?” To which Arin snorted at, snuggling into Dan’s chest as he rearranged himself on the couch.
“God, you’re just gonna bring up that, right here right now?” Arin giggled. Dan ruffled Arin’s hair with a short sigh and a smile.
“You know what I mean though, Ar.” Dan was running his fingers through Arin’s hair again. “I’m worried about you. Suzy’s worried, Ross is worried… pretty much everyone is.” Dan pouted and pressed a gentle kiss to Arin’s forehead. “You can talk to me… I’m not gonna tell anyone your personal shit if you don’t want me to.” And Arin understood that, with a quiet huff.
“I feel so lost…” Arin bit his lip. “Like everyone’s so far away, even when they’re right next to me.” He fiddled with the bottom of Dan’s t-shirt as he spoke. “Everyone’s got shit to do, and for once I haven’t really got anything worthwhile going for me.” He sighed, and Dan grew more concerned. What else was there? “It’s hard watching you go every time, to have the time of your life with someone who’s exactly me, but more interesting. Some guy with some purpose.” Arin pushed his forehead into Dan’s chest and groaned.
Dan was heartbroken. He hated hearing Arin talk so lowly of himself. He wrapped an arm around Arin’s waist and held him close.
“Arin… you’ve got plenty going for you. What about Grumps?” Dan spoke in a soft voice, being as caring and as understanding as he could. “What about your voice acting stuff? I promise you’ve got a purpose in life, even if you haven’t found out exactly what it is yet.” Dan lifted Arin’s head up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Arin kissed him back, pulling away with a soft sigh.
“I guess you’re right, then.” Arin was defeated. “I hate being left alone. It makes shit like this happen.” He scooted closer on the couch, until he was practically on top of Dan. Dan accepted, just making sure his arms were wrapped around Arin.
“I’m here now, it’s okay.” Dan rested his chin on Arin’s shoulder. “Things are gonna be okay.” And God, he hoped they would be.
After they’d managed to record a few episodes (it was about time!) the early hours of the morning were approaching, and though he knew it was a ridiculous time, Dan made the effort to text everyone at the office to ask them to keep an eye on Arin. He hated the idea of Arin feeling alone so much of the time, especially if it got him thinking negatively. The last thing anyone would want, worst-case scenario, would be losing a Grump.
Dan made the effort to drive Arin back to his own house, as Barry had gone back to Dan’s. He knew Suzy would take care of him, and Dan still needed some time to process what he’d heard earlier today.
Arin refused to be carried by Dan again, even when he was stumbling all over the place due to how tired he was. He hoped that Arin would get a decent amount of sleep tonight. But, when Arin finally realised he was going to his own place rather than Dan’s, he freaked out again.
“What if you’re not around tomorrow?” Arin was tense, Suzy quietly reaching over to link her hand with Arin’s. Dan didn’t know what to say. It was true; one day, he might be- well, God knows where! But Arin was so sure that having Dan close to him during the night, or staying up, would ensure that Dan didn’t disappear.
“I could crash in your spare room, if you really want me to.” Dan smiled softly. Arin was nodding quickly, Suzy also nodding by his side.
“I think that’d be best, then. I’m sure Arin has some pyjamas you can borrow if you need them. It’s cold tonight.” She walked further into the house, Arin following. Dan followed after them, a nervous feeling rising in his chest as he watched Arin. He was so worried for him, and yet he felt like there was nothing he could do.
That night, Suzy slept next to Arin, Dan taking the spare room – as planned. This time, it was Dan’s turn not to sleep; he was too busy thinking about all of the reasons why every Dan would disappear, and how badly it would hurt Arin for him to not be around. If Arin felt alone enough as it is… then, he really was worried for Arin if something happened.
Unfortunately, something awful was about to happen.
The two men were cuddled up on Dan’s couch together, with a fluffy brown blanket draped over their knees. They were meant to be at the Grump Space at least three hours ago, but Arin had streamed video compilations of horseshoe crabs on Dan’s television, and they’d gone through nearly every available video until they were led to Vine compilations. When the last compilation ended, Dan made the executive decision to switch off the TV, Arin groaning in response and cuddling into Dan’s side. Dan shook his head, moving so that Arin would be more comfortable.
“What time even is it?” Dan chuckled, pulling out his phone from his pocket. He read the time and frowned. “Aren’t we meant to be at the Grump Space?” He looked over to Arin, who was incredibly warm and definitely didn’t look like he’d be moving any time soon. “Arin.”
Arin slowly shifted and looked up at Dan sleepily, a soft smile over his face. Dan couldn’t hate that look at all. “Mm…?” The younger man hummed.
“Are we going to the office at any point to record?” Dan asked, moving a hand over Arin’s head to play with his hair. “I know you’re tired, and if you’re not up to it…”
“No, we gotta…” Arin groaned in response, sitting up and yawning quietly. “We gotta record. We didn’t record at all yesterday.” He scratched his head. And Arin was right - their upload schedule had been very spotty over the past couple of days. It couldn’t be helped - especially after the trauma they’d both experienced yesterday.
Dan offered to drive to the Space, a sleepy Arin sat in the passenger seat of his car. Dan glanced over at the other man occasionally, checking he wasn’t going to fall asleep before they got there. Since they’d missed a few sessions, it’d be an intense day of gaming for them both. They hit traffic lights, and as Dan looked over, he immediately recognised that Arin had his eyes shut.
“Arin, buddy…” Dan warned, nudging his shoulder. “I’m gonna stop off at the store, maybe you can pick up some energy drinks or something?” Dan frowned, watching as Arin opened one eye and nodded. He wasn’t aware of it, but Arin must not have slept well at all last night. He, on the other hand, had slept like a fucking baby after such a stressful evening. He really felt sorry for Arin - it wasn’t his fault any of this was happening, and clearly it affected him more than it should.
“I didn’t sleep…” Arin quietly admitted, mostly to himself. Dan could tell because he was shutting his eyes again. The lights turned green and Dan huffed, driving towards the local store. He wondered if he should just turn the car around and go home. But no; Arin would be mad at him, and everyone at the Space would worry. Not that they weren’t worried, anyway.
A few minutes passed, and Dan was pulling into the driveway of the 7-11 nearest to the Space. He looked at Arin again, who was passed out, looking incredibly peaceful. Dan bit his lip, leaning closer to him and speaking in a hushed voice.
“How many Monsters do you reckon you’ll need?” Dan stirred Arin from his slumber. Arin jolted, looking at Dan in confusion before understanding.
“‘Bout 5.” He mumbled, trying to sit himself up in the chair. “I’ll get you the money for it when we get to the Space…” Arin stretched his arms out, and Dan raised an eyebrow. Arin must be really tired, if he was offering to pay.
Dan hurried into the 7-11, leaving Arin to sleep in the car. He shuffled to where the drinks fridge was and tucked five Monster cans under his arm, grabbing a sparkling water for himself. He also picked up a Kit Kat for Arin on his way to the tills.
Making his way back to the car, he could already see through the window that Arin was sleeping peacefully. He felt bad as he clicked open the driver’s door, slipping inside - it obviously woke Arin up, who looked displeased. Dan gently dropped the five energy drinks onto Arin’s lap, holding up the Kit Kat in front of his face to catch his attention. Arin’s eyes immediately lit up, and he sat up properly, taking the Kit Kat from Dan.
“For me? Thank you…” Arin smiled happily, quickly opening up the packet and breaking off one of the fingers of the bar. Dan sat back and took a sip from his sparkling water, a smile across his face.
It wasn’t more than 2 hours before they’d ran into a problem.
Arin kept falling asleep in episodes, and Dan was really struggling to make up for Arin’s silence. Dan began to feel how Arin must have felt with him earlier in the week - with Dan constantly being tired from travelling. Dan, unlike Arin, was never angry. He could never be angry at someone like Arin. Whilst Arin was out cold, he finished up the episode himself, even keeping to the traditional ‘Next time on Game Grumps’. He quietly maneuvered himself about the room, stopping the game capture and recordings, fiddling with wires and buttons. He’d only ever done this once before by himself, but he figured the once was enough to know by now how to do it all properly.
Arin didn’t stir from his sleep, surprisingly, and Dan made a decision to leave him resting in the Grump room for a little while. He draped one of the blankets from his office over the younger man and closed the door behind him, strolling into the office. Checking the time, he hushed a small sigh. It was already turning 6, and he’d done nothing of proper use with himself. Feeling a weird kind of weight in his chest, he sought out Ross, who was running over some scripts with someone Dan didn’t quite recognise in Ross’ office.
“Whatcha up to?” Dan asked, peering over Ross’ shoulder. Ross tilted his head back and looked up at Dan with a smile.
“Dan.” He acknowledged the other man’s presence, sliding his chair back a bit. The man next to him did the same. “We’re just running over some stuff for Gameoverse. Lines and stuff.”
“Oh, that’s cool. How… How long do you think you’ll be?” Dan asked nervously, running a hand over his hair. Ross raised an eyebrow and looked at the stranger next to him, glancing back at Dan.
“I can pause it if you need to talk.” Ross folded his arms, watching Dan warily. “You never come to me first, though. So I guess it must be important…” He looked at the man sat next to him and shrugged. “If you’re good with it, we can come back to this in about an hour.” Ross suggested, the other man nodding and agreeing, walking to the other room. Ross watched him leave, and once he was out of sight, he turned back to Dan.
“You’ve known Arin for a long time, right?” Dan started, dragging a chair over to sit by Ross, dragging the door closed at the same time.
“Not as long as Suzy has. You could talk to her.” He shrugged, turning back to his screen. Dan grabbed his shoulder and turned him back around with a sigh.
“Suzy’s not here, and I need to hear it from someone who won’t object every flaw I’m about to point out.” Dan’s voice bordered desperation, and Ross’ eyes widened.
“Oh shit…” Ross turned to face Dan properly. “Well, you’re right. Did something happen?”
Dan prepared himself, hands fumbling in his lap. He knew that he should probably just confront Arin about this kind of stuff, but he didn’t know if it was just him being someone who worried too much.
“He didn’t sleep last night, and I’m just really worried something’s wrong.” Dan looked down at his hands with an exasperated sigh. “I don’t know if it’s him and Suzy, or anything going on outside that we don’t know about.” Dan looked at Ross, who’s face frowned in recognition. Ross must have noticed, too - or even, maybe he knew something. “I mean- God, Ross. When I was out yesterday, I met an Arin who was literally seconds away from killing himself.” He watched Ross’ face as he tensed, clearly concerned. “I stopped him.” Ross let out a breath he didn’t even realise he was holding in.
“But that’s not our Arin.” Ross tapped against the table, his brain running wildly now. Was Arin okay? He’d noticed Arin had been a little more distant recently, but hadn’t thought much of it until just now.
“Right.” Dan confirmed, crossing his arms and sitting back in the chair. “But I got back, and Suzy said Arin had a really bad, unexplainable panic attack.” Dan frowned, Ross shaking his head in tow. “When I told him about the other Arin, it made him really uncomfortable. He’s spoken about death before only recently, but like…” Dan groaned and covered his face with his hands. “Do you think? Arin might be depressed, or something? Something’s going on, and it pains me that I don’t know what the Hell’s going on, and…”
“Where is he?” Ross suddenly asked, quick, worried. Dan shook his head and waved a hand dismissively. He’d never taken Ross as the kind of person to worry so much.
“Grump room. He fell asleep.” Dan mumbled. “God, I don’t know what to do, Ross. I can’t talk to him about it, ‘cos he’ll get all upset. I can’t talk to Suzy, because she’ll just worry more and freak out and shit.”
“Yeah…” Ross nodded with a sigh. “I think just… talk to him. Even if he does get upset… Better to do that, then leave it to become something worse…” Ross frowned.
The two of them jolted upon hearing even the weakest knock against the door. Ross and Dan exchanged a concerned glance, and then Ross stood up to open the door. Standing before them was Arin, looking at them both sleepily. His hair was rustled, and he still seemed really tired. He hadn’t slept for long.
“I thought we were recording…” Arin grumbled, sounding a bit hurt. Dan stood up to match his height and nodded quickly, feeling bad for leaving him.
“We were, but you kept falling asleep, buddy…” Dan frowned, putting a hand on Arin’s shoulder. “So I stopped it. We got about two episodes done, but you should really rest up. I don’t want you to die by being overtired and fuelled only by energy drinks.” Arin seemed to huff a quiet laugh, shaking his head.
“I can stay up… It’s not even late.” Arin propped himself against the doorway to Ross’ office, a lazy grin on his face. Ross merely rolled his eyes, turning back to his screen and scrolling through the script again.
“It’s not late, but you literally didn’t sleep all night. You told me that.” Dan looped an arm around Arin’s waist and pulled him close for a quick hug. “I don’t mind if you want to call today off and go home. We can space everything out, I’m sure Ross wouldn’t mind recording some Steam Train stuff with me before I leave.” Dan glanced at Ross, who looked dumbfounded. “And we can even get some Grumpcade stuff out. We’ve got that special with Brian and Audrey to come out, yet.” Dan reassured him, patting him on the back. Arin seemed to mumble something sleepily into his shoulder, and Dan just laughed.
“C’mon, big cat. Let’s get you home. Or at least, to mine.” Dan stopped and thought for a second. Suzy wasn’t at the Grump Space, and neither was Barry, so he assumed that they were both at Arin’s still. He waited for a response, but Arin was already falling asleep leant against him, which made Dan giggle.
“Can you two lovebirds just go home already?” Ross sighed, deferring back to his usual persona. Dan was nearly surprised. “I’ve got work to do.”
Dan said that he didn’t mind carrying Arin back to the car and such, but Arin was very adamant that Dan wouldn’t be able to. They were back on the same couch at least twenty minutes later, minus the energy drinks. Arin refused to sleep anywhere other than right next to Dan, for some unknown reason.
“You want me to sleep with you?” Dan looked confused. Arin shook his head and cuddled up to Dan on the couch.
“No, I mean-” Arin looked embarrassed, tucking his fringe behind his ear. “Just… stay with me whilst I sleep. Until you go.” Dan nodded and ran his hands through the younger man’s hair, just for something to do. Arin wasn’t sleeping for some reason - Dan thought he was tired. It’s the whole reason they came home. His conversation with Ross arose in his thoughts again and he looked to Arin with a worried expression.
“Is something wrong?” He asked very quietly, as if there were anyone else in the room to hear them. But they were alone, and even Barry probably wouldn’t be back until the late evening. Arin looked up at Dan, suddenly seeming very sad, as if he could cry. Dan hugged him tightly and rubbed his back.”Hey, c’mon… I’m right here.”
Arin stayed quiet for a while, just trying not to spill any tears. His voice was muffled by Dan’s shirt, so Dan pulled back and gave him some room to breathe. Arin took a sharp breath in and stared up at Dan. His voice was cold, terrified.
(( takes place in a certain AU because i felt that it would fit perfectly!))
Dan wandered in to find the same familiar rounded face sat in the corner of Wendy’s. He felt a sad smile appear across his face - though he was delighted to revisit this Arin, something stung in his heart that it had been a little over a month and Arin appeared not to have changed his ways. Arin didn’t notice him walking in, too engrossed in his burger. Dan walked towards him, standing by the chair opposite of Arin.
“Your roommate doesn’t join you, ever?” He asked softly, placing his hand on the empty chair. Arin jolted, looking up at Dan in fear before realising who he was. He immediately broke out into a smile.
“You came back…” He said in disbelief. Dan grinned and sat down opposite Arin, tucking himself into the table. “I thought you’d forgotten me.”
“How could I forget you?” Dan looked a bit shocked. “I remember every single Arin I meet… it’d be difficult to forget.”
“Maybe I just thought I wasn’t interesting enough or whatever…” Arin trailed off, sipping his drink. Dan watched him curiously, tilting his head.
“How are things?” He asked in a softer voice, fiddling with one of the clean napkins on the table. Arin merely chuckled and shook his head, a shrug following soon after.
“Not much different, really.” He explained. “I still haven’t found what I’m meant to be doing with my life. Animating’s good and all, but it’s barely enough to pay the rent, y’know?” He twirled a fry around in his fingers, staring at it before placing it in his mouth. “Luckily I’ve got Jon… I don’t know what I’d do without him.” He said wistfully as he chewed. Dan resisted all urges to lurch forward and shake Arin by the shoulders, telling him how wrong he was. He could still meet Dan, and start up Game Grumps again, and not be here right now eating for the sake of passing time, and…
“Be you.” Dan shrugged. “No one else can.” He looked over Arin and sighed softly. “Just because you don’t know what you wanna do with your life, doesn’t mean you stop trying. There’s something out there for you. There’s something out there for everyone.” Dan had stopped fiddling with the napkin, paying his full attention to the other man. Arin raised his eyebrows, as if he’d had some sort of revelation.
“I… guess you’re right, huh.” He said. “I guess I’ll have to keep searching.”
“Exactly.” Dan said with a smile, nodding. “There was this uh… John Lennon quote that I go by. ‘Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.’ Pretty inspirational, right?” Dan told, tapping his fingers gently against the table. Arin was staring at Dan, burger back down on its wrapper. He was absolutely in awe.
“How are you so…” He struggled to find the words, looking over Dan, particularly fixating on his hair. “Endearing?” He asked, watching as Dan blushed. Dan laughed nervously, shaking his head.
“That’s all Lennon, buddy.” He played it off, messing with the back of his hair. “I promise you that much.”
“But I’d never have known that quote if someone hadn’t said it.” Arin explained softly, smiling at Dan. “And that someone happened to be you.” He offered Dan his fries, but Dan politely declined. He appreciated the gesture, but he knew fully-well that tonight was Thai night back home. He’d been saving himself up for it all day.
“Well, thank you, Arin.” Dan nodded, noticing the time had managed to pass a lot quicker today than usual. “I hope I could help you one day.”
“It’s a start, for sure.” Arin nodded back at him, taking another bite out of his burger. He chewed in thought, watching Dan. “You’re going back to your own Arin soon?”
“Yep, tonight we’re getting takeaway.” Dan said proudly. “Which we only do, like, once a week.”He explained. Arin seemed surprised, looking down at his burger.
“I couldn’t imagine.” Arin snorted. Dan shook his head with a small laugh. He remembered that he’d spoken of living with Jon, but not much else about him.
“Can I ask you about Jon, before I go?” Dan asked gently, hoping he wasn’t intruding too much. Arin nodded, taking another swig of his drink. “Do you… get along well with him?”
Arin fell quiet, thinking to himself. He supposed he could trust Dan enough. “Occasionally. He’s a lot to handle. Not to mention he’s incredibly insensitive and stuff.” He sounded a little sad. “But without him, I probably wouldn’t be here today.”
Dan nodded in understanding. “I’m glad he’s around then. But you can make other friends, you know. I’m certain that people from my dimension also exist in yours. Like me! Dude, I’m probably out there somewhere.” Dan grinned happily. Arin nodded along.
“I’ll think about it, you know.” Arin twirled his straw around in the paper cup. “Maybe I deserve more.” He shrugged again. Dan stood up and walked around to where Arin was sat, looping his arms around his shoulders and giving him a hug. Arin was shocked at first, but soon leaned back into Dan, very much enjoying the warmth.
“Thank you, buddy. You deserve all good things… And hey, maybe we’ll see each other again someday.” Dan smiled. He pulled away and Arin immediately missed the warmth, dragging his chair out and standing up. He matched Dan’s height, albeit he was a little softer than Arin was. Arin nervously fiddled with his sleeves. Dan seemed confused. “Something wrong?”
“To find you…” Arin began, laughing nervously. “Can I kiss you to see if it’s worth finding you?” He settled for a playful smile. Dan rolled his eyes with a goofy grin, looping an arm around Arin’s waist.
They engaged in a gentle kiss. Arin’s lips were soft and warm - it was a similar sensation to kissing his own Arin, except this Arin had never been loved before, and he was desperate for it. Dan noticed this and reached up to bury his hand in Arin’s hair, sounding a hum as he slowly pulled away. Arin looked back at him with bright eyes, flustered.
“Have I inspired you?” Dan asked with a smirk.
“Oh, that was more than enough.” Arin grinned with confidence.
((LOOK AT ARIN BEING ALL HAPPY AND FULL OF LIFE AGAIN!!!!! god this was so redeeming to write. god! technically i was going to write something like this for the fic anyway, so you can consider it as either canon or not canon until the chapter comes out :0))
send me a prompt from this list, and i’ll write a drabble/fic based on it!
“Will you be okay?” Dan asked in a worried tone, sitting with Arin some time before 11pm. His arm was draped over the younger man’s shoulders. With a soft chuckle, Arin shook his head.
“It’s not like you could do anything about it if I wasn’t.” Arin sighed gently, smiling at Dan. “But, yes. I’m alright.” He nodded, a confirming nod following from Dan. Dan leaned back against the couch and sighed, resting both arms behind his head.
He only had so long before Dan left for the hour.
“It’s weird, right? That this happens?” Arin tilted his head. “But it happens and we accept it.” Arin rubbed his hands together, Dan nodding beside him. “Thanks for letting me stay over, by the way… I’m sorry we didn’t get to record anything today.” Dan nudged him with a soft grin.
“Don’t worry about it. We can record tomorrow, and extra if we have to.” Dan patted Arin’s shoulder. “And- if any weird shit like yesterday happens... “
“I’ll be fine.” Arin reassured him, aiming to pat Dan’s knee, but misjudging and patting his thigh instead. He drew his hand back quickly, embarrassed. “Plus, Barry will be here too.”
Upon hearing his name, Barry poked his head around the doorway of the hallway and gave Arin a thumbs up and a big grin, before walking off to his room. Arin gave a thumbs up back to Barry, and when he turned to talk to Dan again, he was gone. He let out a small sigh, flicking the TV on and finding something to watch.
Dan found himself at some kind of harbour in the early evening. The waves lapped gently against the moss-covered rocks across the beachfront, the sky glowing with a soft pink radiance. Dan took a deep breath in as his lungs filled with the salty air, deciding to take a seat on the edge of the dock. It was quiet. He slipped his trainers and socks off, placing them beside him as he looked out across the horizon. It was beautiful, and he thought he may as well take a moment to admire the view before finding Arin. Hesitantly, he dipped his feet into the water and sighed with relief. It was incredibly peaceful.
In the distance, he thought he could see something shimmer for a moment in the water. He squinted, leaning forward, but he couldn’t see anything. He shrugged to himself and continued to sit, gently swaying his legs in the water. Content, he closed his eyes and relaxed fully.
Next to him, there was a disturbance in the water, breaking through the sound of the waves against the shore. Dan thought he had misheard at first, but upon opening his eyes, he gasped, falling silent in awe.
With his hair falling in soft curls against his pearly-white skin, Arin looked up at him from the water, resting his arms against the side of the dock. He tilted his head and leaned it against his forearms, watching Dan with curiosity. Dan opened his mouth to speak, but as he did so, the breath was drawn from him as Arin lifted what appeared to be a shimmering pink mermaid’s tail from the water. Arin studied Dan’s expression, lowering his tail back into the sea with a mischievous grin.
“Looks like you’ve never seen a mermaid before.” Arin remarked, his eyes trailing across Dan’s body. His voice was low and soft-spoken. Dan felt his cheeks heat up, rolling his eyes.
“Looks like I haven’t.” Dan responded. “God, your tail…”
“It’s beautiful, right?” Arin chuckled, lifting it out of the water again, so that Dan could marvel at it. Dan trailed his eyes over it in endearment. “Humans are so predictable. It’s just a tail.” Arin scoffed and gently lowered his tail back into the water. Dan pouted and looked over Arin with a confused expression.
“You don’t know who I am?” Dan asked curiously. If he’d learned anything from the internet, it was that between him and Arin, Dan was more likely to be a mermaid-type creature. But here they were, in actuality, Dan being the one to gush over something as simple as a fish tail. Arin seemed to study Dan as he spoke, catching every subtle movement of body expression.
“You know who I am though, don’t you…?” Arin hummed, lifting his head up. “What’s a handsome man like you doing all the way out here?” And Dan swears he must look bright red at this point.
Dan explained himself, as he always did. He was someone gifted with the power of time-travelling, and although not intentional, he got to visit different versions of his best friend every single day. Arin listened to him with the utmost curiosity, dipping his tail in and out of the water as Dan spoke.
“So, somewhere out there, there’s a human version of me.” Arin smiled to himself. “I think that’d be interesting.” Dan grinned with an enthusiastic nod.
“Yeah, I’ve got a pretty interesting life, I think,” Dan told, “We play videogames for a living.”
Arin sat and listened to Dan’s stories from his own dimension for what had seemed like hours. The time here appeared to pass slower than usual, which Dan was quite thankful for, as he really enjoyed this Arin’s presence. He learned that Suzy was another human that visited the dock often, but she was only a friend, and with the amount of stares Dan received from the mermaid, Dan could figure out why.
“Do you, uh… want to come in the water?” Arin asked shyly, pushing himself away from the dock as he bobbed in the water. Dan looked at Arin like he was crazy.
“Are you kidding? I’m like- fully clothed!” Dan laughed, shaking his head. Arin frowned and swam closer to Dan, reaching his hand up to touch Dan’s. Dan stiffened.
“I’ll let you touch my tail…” Arin almost whispered. Dan found himself slipping down from the dock almost instantly, Arin laughing loudly as Dan treaded water to keep himself afloat. With hesitance, Dan reached forward as Arin offered his tail to him. Arin raised an eyebrow.
“Oh my God, this is so weird…” Dan giggled, running his hand across the iridescent pink scales. It was silky smooth to the touch. Glancing up at Arin to check his expression, he noticed that Arin’s cheeks were redder than before. “This is what I’d imagine a dragon would feel like.”
“No way, man…” Arin nearly sounded offended, with a scoff. “Dragon scales are fucking rough as shit. They nowhere near as smooth as this.” Arin winked, Dan’s heart fluttering. If only his own Arin would be this suggestive. Then again, Arin was a married man, and this guy - the most interaction this guy had was speaking to a cute human girl every week or so. Dan’s brain kicked into gear and his jaw dropped.
“Wait- dragons actually exist here?!” He gasped, which sent Arin into a laughing fit.
The sky darkened above them, and Dan figured it was nearly time for him to leave. He hoisted himself back onto the dock and looked at Arin from above, the younger man swimming to the side of the dock to watch Dan intently. Dan sighed.
“I had fun, Arin. But I think I’m leaving soon…” He frowned, seeing Arin’s expression fall. Arin huffed and crossed his arms, gently bobbing up and down.
“I had fun too.” He admitted, reaching a hand up to brush his hair out of his face. “I don’t want you to go, though… Will you come back?” He asked, hopeful. Dan looked down at his feet.
“I can’t choose where I go. It’s totally random. And I’ve never been back to the same place twice.” Dan admitted gently. Arin nudged himself closer and took a deep breath in, attempting to push himself up onto the dock. “Arin- Arin what are you doing?!” Dan was a little scared. He watched Arin struggle for a maximum of five seconds, before wrapping his arms around Arin’s waist and dragging him up onto the dock with him. Arin seemed surprised, shuffling so that he was sat on the dock next to Dan in embarrassment. “What was that for?” Dan asked, a playful smile across his face.
Before he could register what was happening, Arin held the side of Dan’s face with care and leaned in to kiss Dan. Dan buckled, kissing Arin back. It was soft and sweet, Dan’s hands meeting Arin’s bare chest in seconds. Dan felt a twinge in his stomach and pulled away, looking utterly distraught.
“Kiss her like you kissed me.” Dan said quietly, referring to Suzy, the hurt in his voice evident. Arin looked at Dan with only sadness.
“I don’t want to kiss anyone but you.” Arin felt the tears well up in his eyes. Dan shook his head and held Arin by the shoulders.
“You can’t live in solitude for the rest of your life, Ar.” Dan frowned, looking into Arin’s eyes. “You gotta take a stand. I know you said you’re not interested in her but God, I know you like the back of my own hand - <i>yes</i>, you do.” Dan sighed. Arin was silent, guilty. He nodded weakly and sniffled.
In Dan’s own words, he realised that he might as well have been saying this to himself.
“I’ll try.” Arin reached up to his shoulder and put his hand over Dan’s. “But I’ll never love anyone as much as I love you.” He said softly. Dan’s eyes widened, letting go of Arin’s shoulders. This was too much for someone who’d only just met Dan.
“You do know who I am…” Dan said, breath-taken. He stared as Arin slid off of the dock, back into the ocean.
“Dan Avidan.” Arin smiled, his heart aching. “We used to spend evenings here together.” He shook his head with a soft laugh. His expression faltered as he looked back up at Dan again. “Then he never came back.” He said, coldness in his voice. Dan was shocked, reaching a hand out for Arin.
“What happened?! God fucking damn it, Arin!” He called, watching as the mermaid swam off into the distance. He choked out a sob and stared at the horizon, squeezing his eyes shut and crying it out.
If he’d have opened his eyes one last time, he would have seen Arin watching him from a distance away, tears streaming down his face.
Dan was still sobbing when he appeared in the Grump bathroom again, hands over his face as he cried like a baby. He’d never know what happened to that Arin and his Dan. He’d kissed him, knowing nothing of his past. Dan tried to make a difference, and he managed to fuck it up all at the last minute.
He eventually dragged himself back to his apartment, shuffling inside. He wasn’t crying anymore, but he felt numb. He kicked his shoes off in the doorway and stepped inside, looking around for any sign of Arin. Arin and Barry were curled up on the couch together, Arin sleeping soundly against Barry’s shoulder. Barry looked up at Dan and smiled happily, glad to see his friend again.
“How did it go?” Barry whispered, trying not to wake Arin. Dan leaned against the wall by the TV and let out a huge sigh.
“Wake Arin up, please.” Dan’s eyes fell on the sleeping beauty. He didn’t want to, but it was important that Arin knew what happened today, more so than any other time. Barry didn’t fight, gently shaking him awake with a soft voice.
Arin sat up sleepily and looked at Barry with furrowed brows. Asshole, he thought. Then he looked up to see Dan and his expression softened entirely, seeing that Dan seemed a little worse for wear.
“Do you want me to leave you two to it?” Barry asked, nervous. He could sense the mood had dropped, and he always felt the anxiety rising in his chest whenever Dan spoke about his adventures - he could never place why, but it made him feel bad. Especially for Arin, who had to imagine his best friend hanging out with a copy of him for an hour. Dan nodded, and Barry gathered his phone and the empty bowl of what was filled with popcorn, leaving the room.
“Was it bad?” Arin croaked, his voice dry from being asleep. Dan took the seat next to him. “You know you gotta tell me.” He hung an arm over Dan’s shoulders.
It took Dan an entire hour to explain what had happened at the beach. And when he was coming to the end of the story, he fell quiet, looking over Arin.
“Arin…” He started, shifting his whole body so that he was facing the bigger man. Arin did the same, tilting his head. He was nervous, but he didn’t show it.
“What- did I die or something?” Arin asked worriedly, his spare hand immediately reaching for Dan’s own. The contact was too much, and Dan began to feel incredibly sad again. They both fell quiet, Dan shaking his head. Arin spoke up again after a moment. “Dan, what happened?”
Dan was drifting towards Arin, his eyes flicking to Arin’s lips. Arin immediately caught on and raised his eyebrows. Without any further questions, they locked into a kiss, a tear rolling down Dan’s cheek. Arin reached up and ran his hand over Dan’s hair, desperate. It’s what he wanted. It’s what they <i>both</i> wanted, and what they <i>both</i> needed. Dan snaked his hand through Arin’s hair and hushed a quiet moan, and Arin immediately drew away, realising that Dan was on the verge of tears.
“I wanted it too.” Arin reassured him, fear filling his eyes as he understood that Dan thinks he might have fucked up. “I- Suzy’s cool with it, I’m cool with it- Dan?” He tried to read Dan’s expression, but his face was hidden mostly by hair as he was looking down. He brushed Dan’s hair away from his face and tilted his head up gently. “Dan.”
Dan stopped crying, watching Arin with a confused expression. Had he heard that right? Was he dreaming right now? Was he in another dimension?
“What?” He asked weakly, sniffing and rubbing furiously at his eyes. Arin gave him a genuine smile and cupped his face with his hand.
“I said, I wanted it too.” He looked at Dan to make sure he was listening. “Suzy and I have spoken about this… I just- I didn’t know you felt this way, too.” His voice was soft and calming, and Dan melted to his touch. Dan smiled slowly.
“Are you sure?” Dan asked, his voice timid. Arin nodded. They looked up to see Barry over by the door, a gentle smile on his face, too. “Barry?” Dan questioned, out of the loop.
“If it helps, I’m seeing Suzy.” He grinned. “So I know she’s fine with it.” It was a passing comment, because he left moments later, only sticking around for the reassurance. Dan looked back at Arin in disbelief.
“Open relationship.” Arin explained with a shy smile. “I… I want to be with you, Dan. If that’s okay with you.”
And then they were kissing again, sparks and fireworks soaring above their heads. Dan wrapped his arms around Arin’s waist, and Arin draped his arms over Dan’s shoulders.
For once, Dan thinks, things were going alright for him.
Dan gawked at the looming tower above him, mouth wide open. How the fuck was he supposed to get up there? Hands on his hips, he huffed, staring up at the double-door window at the very top. He figured who was up there already; bringing two hands to either side of his mouth, he dragged in a deep breath and yelled.
“ARIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!” He called up to the top of the tower, using all of his strength. He gasped for a breath afterwards, staring hopefully up at the top of the tower. He waited patiently, but to no avail. He sighed and fell onto the grass, crossing his legs with a huff. Meeting this Arin seemed hopeless - he was never going to hear him from down where he was. He picked at the grass by his feet, sulking.
Arin and Dan had been dating for just over a week now, and there had been no funny incidents - Arin hadn’t met any other Dans, and Dan hadn’t met a ‘bad’ Arin, so to speak. But now there was dread in his stomach - what if he didn’t meet Arin at all during this period? Would the universe turn against him, and keep him there forever? Would he never be able to visit another dimension ever again? The thought panicked him, as he brought his hands up to his hair and tugged gently with a stressful groan.
“Who the fuck is there?!” A grumpy voice called from the top of the tower. Dan immediately stood up with a bedazzled grin. Peering out from the window was an Arin dressed in a Peach-esque pink dress with a small golden tiara. Dan felt a massive grin spread across his face - God, Arin was adorable. He waved up at Arin with big motions, Arin looking down at him in utter confusion. “Who are you?!”
“I’m Dan, Dan Avidan!” Dan yelled with a big smile. Arin crossed his arms and gave a little ‘hmph!’ noise, turning his head away.
“Sorry, I don’t talk to strangers.” He defied. Dan just rolled his eyes, holding his arms out to Arin and beckoning him down. Arin glanced at Dan and gasped dramatically. “I’m not jumping down there, you sick fuck!” Arin exclaimed. Dan nearly burst into laughter, shaking his head.
“I don’t mean jump! Can’t you- aren’t there stairs or something?” Dan frowned, walking around the base of the tower. Arin thought for a moment.
“Why should I even come down there? How do I know you’re not one of those stupid knights who just wants to touch my ass?” Arin raised an eyebrow at Dan. Dan’s mouth fell wide open.
“I don’t want to meet you just so I can touch your ass! I want to meet you ‘cos you’re really pretty, and I travelled from so far away to get here.” Dan pouted. “I’m… I’m a dimension-traveller.” He said with a twinkle in his eyes. The moment the words had escaped Dan’s mouth, Arin had left the window. Dan waited patiently, curious as to how Arin was going to get himself down from the tower. A few moments later, Arin reappeared and threw a long string of blankets out of the window, all tied together. Dan watched in awe as the blankets slowly began to trail to the floor. Once they reached the floor, Arin popped his head out of the window to check, but he didn’t move any further. Dan tilted his head in confusion. Wasn’t he going to come down?
“Do you expect me to climb down this raggedy thing in a dress?!” Arin looked shocked. “You’re unbelievable. Get the fuck up here.” He tsked. Dan, seemingly already head-over-heels for the princess, hurried to the blanket rope and began climbing.
It took him a good fifteen minutes, with him nearly falling down halfway up (which was terrifying, Dan had to admit), but he was finally climbing through the window into the tower. He immediately found himself in a bedroom with bright pink walls, decorated with cute items and a large queen-sized pink bed. Arin sheepishly watched Dan as he walked inside, a shy smile across his face.
“This is the first time I’ve had a boy in my bedroom before…” Arin said softly, going over to his bed and smoothing out one of the wrinkles on the duvet. Dan watched him, endeared.
“Well then.” Dan smiled. “I better make it the best time then, huh?”
“And you seriously didn’t fuck? After all of that?!” Arin was in hysterics. Dan laughed along with him, shaking his head.
“No way, dude! We just… chilled out and had a tea party.” Dan shrugged. They were cuddled up on Dan’s bed together, snuggled under the covers. Arin looked amazed by it all, as always.
“A tea party?! That’s so cool! Can we have a tea party or some shit?” He asked excitedly. Dan just chuckled and held Arin close.
“Of course, Ar.” Dan rubbed Arin’s back. ‘You can even come in full princess attire, if you so wish.” He grinned and pressed a kiss to Arin’s forehead. Arin whined and looked up at Dan.
“Do you think I’d look good in a dress?” Arin asked curiously. Dan couldn’t help but roll his eyes.
“Arin, I just saw you in a dress. And the answer is yes. A hundred times yes.” Arin shuffled upwards to kiss Dan properly, smiling giddily as he snuggled into Dan’s chest.
“What are your thoughts on death?” Arin asked, out of the blue, during their recording session the following day. Dan quickly turned his head to stare at Arin.
“Woah, buddy.” Dan said softly. “You good there?” He asked, watching Arin with concern. Arin seemed unbothered, continuing to play the game. He shrugged, not looking away from the screen.
In all honesty, Arin had been thinking way too much about what the other-dimensional Dan had said to him before he left abruptly.
“You know yourself better than anyone else. So, you should know whether shit’s being pulled from you or not.”
Arin had never thought of himself as actually depressed. He got angry sometimes, and he got sad sometimes - that was a normal thing, right? But sometimes he got so upset to the point where it blinded everything good in the world. Where he’d ignore his friends, and he’d wonder why he was even on this earth, and… Arin hadn’t had a moment like that in forever. And the only person to help him through shit like that was Suzy. He was scared of feeling like that again - but after the conversation with other-dimensional Dan, a switch flicked inside of him, and the thoughts were starting to come back. It infuriated him - he knew people loved him, and he knew he had some kind of purpose. He could never find the answers he needed, though.
“It’s just- it’s weird, right?” Arin stopped playing the game momentarily, looking at Dan. “We’re like… born to die.” He nodded. Dan opened his mouth to say something, then immediately closed it, turning back to see the TV.
“Yeah- I mean, when you look at it like that, yeah.” He agreed. “But sometimes? Sometimes you have to be a little more positive about life. You can’t spend your whole life waiting to die. It’s a dark place, trust me.” He huffed softly, looking down. Arin looked down as well, both of them having stopped playing the game. “We’re all gonna die, yeah. But we’ve got tonnes of shit to do before then.” He shot a glance at Arin, who seemed to understand, curling himself up closer to Dan.
“Tonnes of shits to have as well.” Arin added with a quiet chuckle. Dan let out a mighty laugh, nudging Arin playfully and beginning to play the game again.
“Oh my God, of course.” Dan smiled. He had no idea what made Arin bring something like that up, and it worried him slightly. But things seemed okay right now, and that’s what really mattered - living in the moment.
Cuddled close to each other, the two of them finished their recording session with ease.
Every day at midnight, there was a loud whirring sound in the Grump space bathroom, followed by a loud thud. Nobody could miss it. So when Danny waltzed into Arin’s office five minutes later, hair ruffled and a lazy smile across his face, it was unquestionable. Arin was sat at his desk, flicking his eyes over various lines of emails with a concentrated expression. His hair was tied up in a tight bun.
“You should grow your hair out.” Dan grinned, walking towards Arin and patting the bun at the back of Arin’s head. Arin grumbled something under his breath and cracked his neck to one side. “Like, down to your back.”
Arin swivelled around on his chair to look at Dan, a tired smile on his face. Dan threw himself onto Arin’s office couch and sighed happily. It sounded like he’d had a good adventure. Arin wondered where Dan had been all day, whilst he’d been cooped up in his office reading emails and doing other Grump-related things alone. Occasionally Suzy would pop in and bring him something to eat, and Arin had regretted not leaving his office at all, but he had a lot of work to catch up on.
“It’s hard enough to manage as it is.” Arin chuckled under his breath, shaking his head. “It’s only stayed like this for so long because it’d look weird if I chopped it all off.” Arin reached his hands up and carefully began to untie his hair, his brown locks falling into soft waves across his shoulders. Dan watched in awe, stretching himself out across the couch.
“Suzy could plait your hair. I could plait your hair.” Dan smirked. Arin rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair and waiting for Dan to get on with the main part of their conversation - where Dan had been, what he’d seen and who he’d met. Dan propped his head against one of the cushions on Arin’s couch and watched the ceiling.
Every day, for just an hour, Danny visited another dimension. He didn’t know how, and he didn’t know why - it just happened. At 11pm daily, he’d be transported to an entirely different dimension, where he’d meet various different versions of his best friends in the office. Then at midnight, he’d be back in his own dimension, in their Portal-themed bathroom, with the people he knew and loved. The unfamiliarity of it all used to scare him, but after dealing with it for the majority of his life, he was kind of used to it by now.
Arin was worried the first time it had happened - it was Dan’s first day on the job, and after staying over late to record an episode of Kirby’s Dream Course, he turned to see that Dan had disappeared halfway through recording. He nearly had some sort of panic attack, rushing around the room to see if Dan had been hiding, but to no avail. He ran out to find Barry, tears welling in his eyes as he tried to explain what had just happened. Barry didn’t believe him at first, but when he stepped into the recording room and didn’t see Dan, his heart dropped. Arin had been incredibly anxious, Suzy having to sit by his desk and rub small circles into his back as he flicked across emails and comments. He didn’t leave at the usual time - nobody did. And when midnight came around, and Dan walked into the main office like it was no big deal, Arin had cried his eyes out and hugged Dan tightly. Dan had hugged him back just as tightly, having to explain everything to him until the sun rose.
From that day forward, they had rules. Dan had to tell Arin every detail about his trip to the other world - where he’d been, what he’d seen and who he’d met. Dan was thrilled to chat to Arin about the countless different versions of Arin Hanson - the man who animated professionally for Disney, the man who had eight children, or the man who had a shaved head as opposed to his current shoulder-length mop. There had also been times where Dan had been terrified to speak to Arin about the countless different versions of Arin Hanson - the man who recently divorced his wife, the man who lived on the streets, or the man who tried to kill himself. What frightened Dan the most was that any of these things could happen to his Arin, and he’d never know when.
“He was like…” Dan began talking about the ‘other’ Arin he had met. “Sat by himself in Starbucks, with a strawberries and cream cooler?” He looked to Arin to see if he’d gotten the name of the drink right. Arin nodded. “I went in and spoke to him, he seemed pretty chill about it. I guess everyone has a Danny that can dimension travel, now.” His laughter rang in the air like a bell, Arin laughing softly along with him. “We were in Starbucks for like, half an hour… Oh, I mentioned he had really long hair, right?”
“I figured.” Arin cracked a smile, leaning forward to listen to Dan. Dan grinned and continued to speak.
He spoke about how they sat in the local park, by the fountain, talking about their lives. The ‘long-haired’ Arin was modelling with his girlfriend Suzy, and he told Dan that he even occasionally wore make-up. Later on in the day, they went back to Arin’s house to meet the ‘other’ Suzy, who was incredibly pleased to meet Dan, and they all ended up watching a movie together. When it was time for Dan to leave, he made sure to touch Arin’s hair at least once, marvelling at how gorgeous it was.
“You should seriously consider it.” Dan nodded enthusiastically, his legs now up in the air and over the back of the couch. “Growing your hair out.” He grinned cheesily. Arin shrugged with a small laugh, folding his arms across himself.
“Maybe. Are you ready to record?” Arin asked, standing up from his office chair. He seemed tense today, but Dan didn’t press. Most likely he’d just had a really busy day. Dan nodded quickly and dragged himself up, stretching and following Arin to the recording room.
They recorded around five episodes in total before Dan started to get sleepy.
“Next time on Game Grumps…” Arin grumbled, cracking his neck to the side. Dan simply looked at him, lost. Arin definitely seemed off today. The episode time hadn’t even reached ten minutes, and although Dan was losing interest in the game, it was mostly due to the fact that he was struggling to keep his eyes open. Recently, the travelling had been taking a toll on his energy, and he felt incredibly tired when he got back.
When Dan didn’t react, Arin stopped the recording equipment, facing away from Dan as he started to switch off the console. Dan tensed.
“Are- Are we done?” Dan asked, slightly dumbfounded. Arin turned to look at Dan with a small frown.
“I mean, you’re literally falling asleep, there’s no point.” Arin said monotonously, which scared Dan. Dan sat up a little, a frown appearing on his face, too.
“I can grab a coffee or something…” He pouted. “Dude, what’s up? Is something bothering you?” Arin made his way back to the couch and sat next to Dan with a sigh.
“It’s just… I’ve been waiting all day to record, y’know?” Arin sighed heavily, watching Dan. “I get that you had tour stuff to figure out this morning but… God, I’ve been through at least a thousand emails today.” Arin folded his arms and leaned into the back of the couch. “And now, we get here and you’re just all ‘Oh, I’m gonna fall asleep on the fuckin’ Grump couch! Why not!’, and I’ve been waiting for hours and…” Arin rubbed his forehead and sighed again. Dan sank into his seat, afraid to talk. He really had been too busy all day to record, and it didn’t help that travelling to a completely different dimension shattered him.
“I’m sorry.” Dan said in a quiet voice, fiddling with the blanket he was currently wrapped up in. That didn’t help, either. “It’s just- going places really tires me out, man.” He tried to explain, looking at Arin’s face for any sign of sympathy. Arin nodded slowly in response.
“Yeah- it’s difficult, right?” Arin reached out a hand and patted Dan’s knee. “I get it. I’ve just been really stressed lately, and I’m sorry that I’ve been taking it out on you…” He smiled apologetically. Dan smiled back at the younger man.
Around fifteen minutes later they were headed off to their respective homes. Suzy left the Grump space a few hours ago, as she had to feed the cats and make sure they weren’t beating each other up. Arin stood by his car outside, watching as Dan walked to his own (which wasn’t very far, because they were parked one bay apart from each other.
“Arin?” Dan asked as he unlocked his car. Arin was about to step into his own car; he turned to face Dan, raising an eyebrow. Dan smiled softly and shook his head. “Have a safe journey home, okay?”
“You too, don’t fall asleep at the wheel.” He laughed, finally climbing into his car and sitting down. He waited and watched Dan start up his car and drive away, before turning on his own car’s ignition.
He’d been having a lot of thoughts about Dan lately, so when he didn’t see him for a while, he felt lost and uncertain. Dan would often come back and tell Arin about some romantic-sounding experience he’d had with a different version of Arin - and <i>God</i>, did he wish that were him. He felt like he hardly got to spend any time with Dan anymore - especially with the band tours that felt constant, and the fact that Dan was fucking off to another dimension every day.
Arin had tried to talk to Suzy about it all, and she had immediately clicked what was going on. Arin nearly cried when Suzy told him that he might be in love with Dan. But she understood, and she supported Arin, and that was the weirdest feeling in the world for him. So sitting in his car, the engine running, Arin sighed again and slumped in his seat. Luckily, he hadn’t heard about any of the bad dimensions Dan had visited for a while - those were the worst days; Dan would be close to tears, and Arin would have to convince him that the Arin he needed was right in front of him - in the most platonic fashion possible, of course. But even that hurt Arin - it hurt that he had to hold back and repress every pang of jealousy he felt within him, because he just knows that Dan won’t feel the same way.
He sighed once more and began to pull out of the parking lot.
