#tbbms

[i-support-celeborn-wrongs]

"I support Celeborn's wrongs" --- *what* Celeborn's wrongs, exactly? He did nothing wrong.

...either there's something I don't know or you spelled "Celegorm" wrong.

[/hj, feel free to just talk about how cool he is or whatever as the answer]

Hi! No, no, I actually meant Celeborn, and no, he didn't do anything wrong in canon (well, no more than your average non-Feänorian elven military commander, anyway).

The thing is, I'm working on a postcolonial AU/reinterpretation of The Silmarillion called "The Blood Behind My Smile", which starts from the canonical assumption that The Silmarillion was written by the Noldor (hi Pengolodh!), and therefore theirs are the only historical sources and therefore not completely reliable. It's first an analysis/reflection on how much of what's written there is actually just propaganda (not necessarily malicious, even just the product of their cultural lens, which is never objective), and then how this translates in the narrative. One of the founding characteristics of this AU is a more pagan mythology, in which the Ainur are actually deities and don't have a good/evil morality (but it's Eru who forces them in those boxes, long story), and that consequently there isn't a struggle between Good and Evil, but rather the Noldor who used religion (often truly believing in their ideals) to justify their colonialism and their acts of violence against other peoples.

I'm trying to be more realistic tahn Tolkien about the social and political dynamics, but at the same time I try not to demonize any people (no, not even the Noldor) because that would go against the basic principle of this rewrite. This is therefore a Silmarillion AU on a much grayer moral level, where some people's heroes can be others' monsters and viceversa, and where every civilization has its darker sides and its brighter sides, just like in the real world (yes, I'm studying anthropology in high school, lol. It's a really cool subject, I wish it were more popular).

Celeborn, Annatar/Mairon, and Maeglin are some of the main characters in what I've written so far (though I haven't published anything yet, aside from a few small analyses on Tumblr. I actually have a dedicated side blog, called the-umaiar-side-has-choco, though so far they're just reblogs from the main). Mairon because he represents the Rebels against Eru (the Umaiar), Maeglin (and Eöl) because he represents the Dark Elves (the Avari), and Celeborn because he represents the Grey Elves (the Sindar), both in terms of their personal evolution and their relationship with the Noldor. Celebrimbor is my main Noldor POV because this project started as a Silvergifting long-fic before going completely off the rails lol.

For example, among the things I think Tolkien swept under the rug are the social consequences of the Kinslayings. In the Second and Third Ages, the Sindar and the Noldor (the Avari are not found, as usual) seem to get along relatively well, if you exclude the "isolationism" of Oropher and then Thranduil (which also seems to be criticized, for some reason. I don't know, if a group of people had massacred my family and friends and then not even apologized, I wouldn't be very keen to see them either). Which is... strange, considering that many of the survivors and relatives of the victims are still alive. There should be some social tensions, at the very least.

It also doesn't help that the soldiers of the Sons of Feänor, who evidently took part in the massacres, were not punished. Maedhros has thrown himself into a fiery pit and Maglor in theory is wandering the beaches mourning (which in itself is a fucking weird narrative choice like "oh let me sing laments about how sad I am becouse I have committed atrocities for an Oath that no one forced me to take but which I actually chose to renew after having already seen the consequences and which could have had a thousand other solutions before opting to massacre innocents BUT I'm not doing ANYTHING CONCRETE to actually make amends with the people I hurt"), the other five died in battle, but what about their soldiers? They clearly had armies loyal to them and it's not like that loyalty simply disappeared with the death of their Lords. Yet there was no Public Trial, or an Apology Campaign or Social Volunteerism. The Valar are said to have "forgiven the Noldor and lifted their exile", but this means nothing to the Sindar. AND STILL THE NOLNOR ARE NOT RETURNING TO AMAN. They've been given the equivalent of a slap on the wrist for SYSTEMATIC MASSACRES, and they also have the AUDACITY to REFUSE??? Becouse what? Becouse they """love Middle-Earth"""??? Is that why Celebrimbor is TEXTUALLY trying to MAKE IT LIKE AMAN??? IF YOU WANT AMAN JUST FUCKING GO BACK TO IT. YOU CAN. THE GODS FORGAVE YOU. (Which itself sounds less like an actual forgiving and more like a "MA PORCA PUTTANA TROIA TO MARE IN CARIOLA ARRUGGINITA, stop messing around and fuck shit up. Come back here so you can't kill anything anymore, thanks. You're lacky Eru said we can't force you BECOUSE IF WE COULD-". But more poetically put, becouse the Valar ✨ can't hurt the Children of Illuvatar unless they want to Fall✨. And that's includes being mean. Or being mad.).

Middle-Earth is NOT like Aman, it holds a differnt kind of beauty. And that beauty is deeply routed in its possibility to change (which I think derives a lot from the powers of Melkor himself, combined with those of Mairon). The Noldor don't actually love Middle-Earth if they can't accept this.

Oh no wait, it's explicitly said that Galadriel didn't want to return because in Middle-earth she was among the most powerful and eldest of the Elves, while in Aman she would only have been one of Finarfin's children. That's the answer, folks. POWER.

Not to mention that most of the positions of power seem to be held by the Noldor, and even when the Sindar do hold power, they always seem a little more shaky than those of their cousins: the most obvious example is Celebrimbor taking power in Eregion even though Celeborn was technically still there. But since Galadriel (i.e., the Noldor power of the couple) is gone, then the shift in power has indeed occurred and is publicly and politically recognized.

In the TBBMS AU, however, socio-political tensions are definitely there, even if they aren't always so visible. And the Celeborn in my AU is much angrier than his canon counterpart (who's already not the most easygoing person in canon, eh), even if he doesn't express it freely because ✨diplomacy requires calm, baby✨. Furthermore, politics are much more complicated than in canon, and Celeborn is involved in many intrigues: for example, there's an entire parallel trade network involving the native peoples of Beleriand, and both Mirkwood, the Avari tribes and Mordor are ivolved (yes, I go with the Orcs being another species of elves, but not recognized as such by the Noldor... which is extra ironic becouse the Orcs descends specifically from the Noldor in this AU. It's just that in Cuiviénen Era Melkor saw them lost on the plain heading towards his territories and decided to press the acceleration button for their evolution. Also yeah the three, now four, elven races are actually different species.), while the Noldor are completely unaware of. No, not even Galadriel, because although they love each other vey very very much, their marriage Is complicated, they are both morally grey and also not politically aligned. He keeps many secrets from her. Oh, by the way, Galadriel is a religiously orthodox Noldo (I really hope this sentence has the same meaning in English as in Italian. "Orthodox" in Italian means: marked by the complete acceptance of a doctrine that is not necessarily religious, but of a dogmatic nature, or by conformity with it. No, in this context it has nothing to do with Orthodox Christians.), while Celeborn is a "heretic" who still believes in the religious practices of pre-Noldor Old Beleriand (and there would be a whole religious worldbuilding here, but it would deserve a meta post of its own). Yes they have the same phanteon (the Ainur). Yes, they pray to them in different ways. Yes, THIS IS A HUGE FUCKING PROBLEM. Why? Well, the short answer is... the entire religious history of Europe after the Protestant Schism. To add fuel to the fire, Celeborn had and still has a high political-religious position in the aforementioned cults, such as High Priest (because Doriath was practically a theocracy. Like, the king marries a "minor" deity and is recognized as a moral authority throughout Beleriand and you mean to tell me that this DOESN'T have a translation into the religious politics of the entire continent? Babe, be serious). The ceremonies and rituals are done clandestinely (btw Daeron is alive and involved, and they are very gay for each other). If the Noldor find out, Celeborn is absolutely ✨fucked✨.

Also for this reason, when Annatar arrives in Eregion, Galadriel has the canonical reaction "he is an Umaia, he has evil intentions, don't trust him!" (which she REALLY believes, she genuinally believes that Annatar will harm the people she loves), while Mairon and Celeborn look at each other like 👀👀👀👀👀

(C:"Your Dark Majesty, would you like some offerings?" M:"Oh? For me? Such polite and respectful cute little elves. Offerings are welcome. I was searching for blood to placate my pain but you know what, I think I'll bless your crops instead :)")

Another very important part of the TBBMS AU is that pre-Noldor Beleriand has very strong Bronze Age vibes, and so I tried to convey this feeling in my cultural worldbuilding as well. Celeborn therefore did numerous things that in his historical and cultural context of the time were perfectly normal and justified, but which to a modern reader or even in post-Noldor Beleriand/SA Middle-Earth seem atrocities (for example: burning the severed heads of his enemies on an altar to try to gain favor with the gods and cursing their spirits into his familiars for centuries).

Also, he was a berserker. His war name was Heart-Devourer. No, I won't elaborate further on that.

So yeah, my Celeborn did a lot of things that weren't exactly Good Guy™ things.

That said, if Celeborn were to decide to throw a chair at the teeth of one of the Noldor advisors/politicians, both in canon and in the AU, he would have my full support. This is what my username means, but yeah, out of context must sound absolutely wild lol.

And last but not least: I hope you who asked and anyone reading this, have a good day. If its not going well, I hope it gets better soon. <3

[the-umaiar-side-has-choco]

Valar's Eyes, Domains and Sacred Colors

PS: I actually finished the first drawing in… uh, November, I think? But I still had to do Vana, Tulkas, and Este, and then I got distracted with other doodles and projects, and these ended up in my schoolbooks's pages... Towards the end of February I picked up them again and finished the Valar that I still had to do, but then I forgot to post them. Gist of the story: It's April, and it's been so long that I've forgotten what some of the images I used as specific references were. But I finally did it! It took me something like five hours to write down all the descriptions (wtf, how), but I did it!

Side note about the random stuff I found while researching: the Latin word fana is the plural of fanum, a type of small religious building of the Romans :)

TBBMS AU has a more pagan structure than the canon, which, despite "sketching" a pagan structure with the Ainur as adjacent deities-like with specific powers actually resembles a monotheistic structure with an omnipotent "creator" god and a divine plan, and the Ainur as various "angelic hosts," including "fallen angels" led by Melkor (that the metaphysics of the Legendarium also fails the monotheistic-Christianish framework is a discourse for another post).

In TBBMS, however, Eru is the creator of the Ainur, yes, but he is an "extra-world" deity, while the Ainur themselves are a divine pantheon of immanent and amoral forces. However, Eru still tries to "control" the Ainur and maintain control over their choices and creations, which led to Melkor's rebellion. (this is a very complex worldbuilding lore that I want to dedicate a separate post to too. Sorry guys I know this is the already the second time I've mentioned it in this same post, but it's one of the cornerstones of the plot-lore and I'd like to give it the focus it deserves.)

The Valar are all siblings between them since they were created at the same time by Eru and when they wed between them (greek phanteon style) each couple had children, the Maiar. The Ainur are personifications of the elements they dominate (Ulmo IS Water), and the parts of reality/world over which the Ainur rule/have power are called Domains. The powers of the Maiar are either a specific manifestation of one of their parents' Domains (e.g., Ossë is the Storm, Unien is the Calm Sea) or one of their meeting points (e.g., Eonwë is Dawn/Dusk Sky). There is also a fundamental distinction among the Ainur, which was lost in communication with the Elves (Noldor) and consequently with Men, between "Maia of" (= child of) and "Maia in service of" (= apprentice/student of). For example, Melian is a Maia of Yavanna but she also had been a Maia in service of Vana and Este, Olòrin is a Maia of Irmo (one of the dreambringers specifically, that do complementary works to their nightmerebringers sibilings) and has been a Maia in service of Manwë, Varda and Nienna.

As in canon, the Ainur are fundamentally bodyless Spirits, and had to take on a fana when they descended into Arda. However, while being shapeshifters, they have a """natural""" form which they tend to automatically shift into as the basis of a fana, unconsciously shaped by their Domains and personalities. During the Years of the Lamps the fanar were pretty much humanoid in shape, but usually had either animal elements, or even elements of the flora (Yavanna and Vana) and/or minerals (Aulë). The "basic" fana of the Maiar tends to resemble that of their respective Valar in the same way that human children resemble their parents. Some examples regarding eyes specifically: Mairon has Aule's, Eonwë and Ilmarë both have Varda's, Ossë and Unien both have Ulmo's :)

(the Dragons, being Melkor and Mairon's children, while in their Ainuric forms have Mairon's eyes with Melkor's scales.)

With the awekening of the Children of Illuvatar, these fanar have been "polished and sanded" to appear more elf-like and therefore more familiar and reassuring.

In this post I will talk about what the Valar's eyes look like in the Years of the Lamps, as well as their Domains. Furthermore, taking inspiration from some Catholic traditions that associate certain colors with candles for prayers/summonings of specific angelic hosts, I will mention which are the sacred colors of the Valar for their in-AU rituals.

Varda is the goddess of the Stars and the Night Sky, and her eyes are like a open window to her Domain. They are almond-shaped but tilted upward 45° compared to a human's. They have no sclera, irises or pupils and they are black like Eä outside the borders of Arda is. If you look in them from close enough you can see the stars moving. Technically she don't even have eyelids too, but the long silver lashes that grow from her eyes' edges give the impression that she does. She is also a goddess of War, even though her battles are more a thing of the Primordial Past, when she (along with Tulkas) was the main protector of the Timeless Halls against the void-spawn monsters of Eä's first millennia. Her colors are black or purple.

Manwë is the god of the Day Sky, Air, Winds, Lightning and Rain, as well as the Lord of the Birds. His eyes are those of an eagle, but with sky-blue irises and sclerae and white pupils, senile arches and eyelashes. It is said that he can see the world through the eyes of all living (incarnate) creatures that soar in the sky, and that if you look deep into the eyes of an Eagle (his sacred animal), you can see what he sees across the physical dimension of Arda. His colors are azule and white.

Melkor is the god of Entropy, Shadows, Winter (Cold, Ice, Snow) and Destruction, as well as the Lord of Reptiles. As such his eyes are like those of a reptile (unfortunately I can't remember WHICH reptile I used as a reference; I know their eyes can be quite different sorry), but with black sclerae and ice-blue irises, with black slitted pupils that absorb the surrounding light. Also the "skin" around his eyes its covered in black scales and his eyelashes are encrusted with snow. His colors are black, ice-blue, dark blue and some specific shades of green and purple.

Ulmo is the god of Water and of the Ocean. His eyes are shaped like a fish's (again, I've forgotten which fish I specifically referenced, sorry), round and large. He has no eyelids, and his pupils have a glassy, liquid-like effect. The irises are fixed in size, almost as large as the eye itself, and their colour shifts between aquamarine and the various shades of blue found in the sea's different depths, with the visual effect typical of light refracting on the surface of the sea. His colour is blue.

Aulë is the god of Earth, Fire, Stone, Gems and Minerals and of the Arts of Craft. His Domain also includes volcanoes and earthquakes. His eyes have a geometric shape with very sharp angles, which often change due to the movement of the magma that flows inside his fana along with ichor. The edges have a thick, dark line of solidified lava. They have no irises, but a sclera of living flame, and the lines are straight and serpentine, though they can narrow or widen during strong emotions. His colors are red and orange.

Yavanna is the goddess of Plants and Agriculture. Her eyes are shaped like ovoid leaves of a bright green colour, and that widen toward the nose. They have no irises or pupils, but they are crisscrossed by yellowish leaf-like veins. Her colours are any shade of green but especially the dark ones.

Oromë is the god Hunt, Archery, Predatory Animals and Wilderness. His eyes are like a wolf's in color and shape, but they glow from inside. It is said that a mortal's heart stops beating if they looks directly into his eyes. His colors are any shade of brown and occasionally blood red.

Nessa is the goddess of Herbivorous Animals and of the Arts of Dance, Gymnastics and Acting. Her eyes look like a the ones of a deer, her sacred animal. Her color is pink.

Nienna is the goddess of Mourning, Suffering, Crying, Hope, Compassion and Consolation (and in a broader sense of Emotions and Interiority in general). Her eyes are slightly downward-slanted (I took inspiration from SU's Blue Diamond for this), with cool gray sclerae, warm gray irises, and silver pupils and lashes. Given her divine role, it's common to see her cry light-glistening tears. Her colour is grey.

Irmo is the deity of Dreams, Nightmares, Sleep, Psyche, Unconsciuos, Imagination, Madness and Ecstasy. As such, they're a Spirit whose gender is ever-changing, eluding all definition. Their eyes are human-like in shape but not in appearance, giving so a sense of disorientation. Their eyes are pink and have neither iris nor pupil, but hypnotic circles that eternally expand from the center to the edge of the eye, where they are "eaten" by the eyelids. Their eyelashes are violet. It is said that if a mortal look them in the eye while they're awake they'll descend into madness. Their colors are lilac and impossible/imaginary colors such as olo.

Namo is the deity of Death, Souls, Fate and Prophecies. As an unembodied Spirit they were completely genderless, although once they took the fana they were not averse to being addressed as either male or female. They don't speak much but when they do they use a very deep, booming and reverbering voice, and for this reason in many cultures (especially human ones) they are interpreted as male and therefore depicted with male attributes/characteristics. In reality, even after the awakening of the Children of Illuvatar, their fana remains completely hidden by black robes, and when their hands appear from beneath the cloth they appear bony, as if completely devoid of muscle, and with a wrinkled skin of the paled color of a dead body's. Namo's face cannot be seen from beneath their hood, but if one could, one would see that they have no eyes. Instead there are two hollow cavities like those of a skull from whose centers blazes a purplish light. Their colour is dark purple.

Vairë is the Deity of Time, History, Writing (Alphabet) and of the Arts of Weaving, Tapestry and Drawing. They are also the deity associated to insects and spiders. They're a genderless Spirit like their spouse, but like them they don't mind being addressed as male or female. Their fana is also completely covered by robes (although of lighter colors than their spouse), but unlike Namo's, Vairë's hands and face are left uncovered. Their eyes are large and vaguely insect-like, a grayish color without irises or pupils that reveals nothing. They too aren't particularly talkative, and when they speak their tone is said to be airy yet little expressive. Many peoples interpret and depict them as having feminine attributes and/or characteristics, including elves. Their colours are violet and occasionally ash gray.

Vana is the goddess of Youth, Childbirth and Parenthood, as well of one of the deities of Life. Her eyes have an iris like the stamens of a daisy, the central one the same pale green as the sclera and acting as the iris. Her eyelashes are petals of various colors, starting greenish at the part touching the eye and becoming increasingly brighter towards the edges. Her color is light green.

Tulkas is the god of Strenght, Fight, Violence and (even if not all peoples recognize and/or worship these parts of him) Bloodshed and War. His eyes have pink sclerae with yellow irises and orange pupils and limbal rings. His eyelashes are yellow too and longer and thicker than a human's, to match his lion mane-like hair, mustache and beard. His color is yellow.

Este is the goddess of Healing, Medicine and the Body. She has the more human-like eyes of all the Ainur. She has hazel irises (brown blending into green) becouse most of ancient medicines were made with plants and herbs. Her color is white.

[ameliakilometere]

finally picked up my copy of tj klune's rerelease of The Bones Beneath My Skin. i've already read and listened to the original a few times, so basically went straight to the exclusive content. it was very tj until it got CLASSIC TJ and i cackled like a witch out of macbeth

[mavilez]

i’ve been reading bear, otter, and the kid and i just keep thinking about the kid meeting artemis from the bones beneath my skin.

[i-support-celeborn-wrongs]

Love your speculative botany thoughts (plus your blog is super cool in general!)

-@outofangband

ahdidfsshfkhds thank you so much! The first time I saw this message I literally squeaked with joy (it was a really unexpected surprise, but the good kind), and it still brings a smile to my face every time I think of it <3

Sorry it took me so long to reply, but I thought since you liked my thoughts on botany you might also be interested in this post on my Silm AU sideblog too, and I had to finish it first 😅. I'd started this speculation already back in August, but then I got distracted as usual and so it ended up in the mental garage. Your comment was what pushed my procrastinating ass to finally finish it, so thanks for that too <3

[allforthesong]

I do love how the entire first printing of TBBMS has sprayed edges. I’m not someone who would pay extra for sprayed edges but it’s nice to get them by default

[glitterghost]

Bones: Setting, Angst and Toxic Masculinity

Sales Pitch: Part II (part I was published last week and can be found here: http://www.tjklunebooks.com/new-blog/2018/9/24/first-look-the-bones-beneath-my-skin Why are these blog posts about The Bones Beneath My Skin sales pitches? Simple, really: I’m self-publishing this book. I am a seller

“The first part of the book is set in Roseland, Oregon. Chances are if you’ve read most of my work, the mention of that town sends chills down your spine or, at the very least, causes you to want to throw empty boxes of Kleenex at my head.”