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Silmarillion side blog mainly about The Blood Behind My Smile AU || postcolonial Tolkien interpratation || reblogs from my main (@i-support-celeborn-wrongs) and AU-specific additional information

[i-support-celeborn-wrongs]

Celedriel disastrous First Date (TBBMS AU)

Actually, disaster may be understatement. This is more like an high-speed train-wreck. Horrible, terrible, almost (becouse they will gonna marry in the end) irrecoverable disaster. Like, not only the train is gonna have a hard crash (this excerpt), it will also fall over a cliff (the rest of the fic). But I decided to cut off the cliff part from this post becouse it talks about more sensitive topics like racism (uh, specism thechnically? Still, very very very bad discrimination and cultural suprematism) and religious tensions and potentially triggering practices like sacrificies (elven ones too) and cannibalism. So, uhm, just the lighter and funny stuff in this post.

But before we start I think it's important for the reader to know a bit of context for the AU. As I and @mircallaruthven talked under this post, the date bad outcome is due mainly to their cultural and species-specific biological differences.

Cultural becouse they grew up in two completely different environments, both in the natural and in the social sense.

Aman is a Paradise where the climate is temperate, the trees are always green and fruitful, and the animals are docile and won't attack you even when you attack them. The Elves born there have never seen a supercell or a tsunami, have never known hunger or cold, and have certainly never died because a wild boar or deer charged and impaled them, or because a saberthoot tiger or crocodile tried to eat them. And they certainly have no idea what death of old age is, since Elves don't age.

The Helcaraxë was a particularly strong trauma for all those who crossed it, not only because the survival conditions were horrible but also because they had never known cold and hunger before, and therefore they did not know what to expect or how to prepare until they found themselves in the middle of the ice with no possibility of return (I would like to point out that they HAD the possibility of return but they refused it out of pride, even if I can break the lance against them since they had no idea how stupid a decision it was). Furthermore, it is evident that one must take into consideration that A) Fingolfin's group did NOT actually condemn Fëanor's group for the Kinslaying and/or were hypocrites because they were quite willing to use the stolen boats stained with (probably literal) Falmari's still fresh blood and that their sense of betrayal/injustice comes from the fact that Fëanor's group abandoned them on the ice and not from any moral position that opposed the massacre that had just occurred (which will then come back to bite the Sons of Finarfin in the ass once Doriath finds out that they lied to them and hid the aforementioned massacre) and B) that the experience did not change their rigid hierarchical setting of society through the awareness that in the face of death and adversity everyone is equal regardless of birth conditions, because once they arrived in Belerian and started building kingdoms on the former Sindar/Orcish territories (which btw from a realistic historiographical point of view is the exact reason why the Orcs are always so "violent and aggressive" because the impossibility of settling permanently in a territory with sufficient resources for self-sufficient agriculture and pastoralism forces them to resort to raids and attacks on other peoples' villages to survive), these kingdoms and chains of command remain strictly feudal (Nargothrond, Gondolin).

So yeah, the single experience of the Helcaraxë did little to change the Noldor culturally, socially, or morally.

Furthermore, Noldor society is known for being patriarchal, patrilineal, and with varying degrees of misogyny. Now, this could be solved by saying "Tolkien was a man of his time and his writing reflects it," but I find that a rather lazy solution, so I found myself reconstructing a historical model. Now, patriarchy is (unfortunately) the social structure of the majority of human societies around the world and throughout history, but what is its cause? Well, first of all we must know that it's a process of transformation that develops slowly and parallels sedentaryization. Humans are animals born nomads, but around 12,000 years ago (very recent in the overall history of our species) we began to realize that caring for the animals and plants we would later feed on seemed more convenient than gathering or hunting, because it ensured a more stable food supply (in reality, it wasn't, as we discovered in subsequent centuries through famines, floods, food or plant diseases, etc., but at the time it seemed so). It was a gradual transition, which added a specialization of craftsmanship and thus the formation of distinct professions and more defined social classes. At the same time, living in close contact with so many other humans and domestic animals increased the frequency of epidemics (accelerated by poor hygiene, for example considering that the stable and the house were often in fact the same room because the animals' breathing helped keep warm at night), the unbalanced diet caused by monocultures, and the decline in the use of meat caused foodborne diseases such as pellagra and scurvy. Work in the fields required a large number of laborers, and therefore more children were born and the population increased, but the increase in population meant an increase in the amount of work in the fields, and so on in a vicious circle. But the high infant mortality that these new living conditions caused (in the Middle Ages, it peaked with 6 out of 10 children dying before their first birthday) meant that the number of pregnancies had to increase to ensure enough children survived to maintain and hopefully to increase the population. This meant that women (especially those from the lower classes) were constantly pregnant until they could, that is, before menopause (hence the horrific phenomenon in several societies of girls being married off after their first period), which also increased the risk of death in childbirth. But a pregnant woman could neither work in the fields nor hunt, so they made themselves useful to the community with more "physically calm" activities such as weaving, spinning, basketry, and cooking. This gave rise to gender roles, with women "destined" to care for the home and children, and men "destined" to perform heavy physical labor (and apparently to die young and atrociously in war).

But as already mentioned, this is a phenomenon that occurs slowly, through various generational changes, until after a century or two no one even remembers what life was like before. It may work for humans (who in Tolkien's world also seem to be "civilized" by the Elves, and thus absorb the patriarchal architecture of their societies from the Noldor), but not for the Elves themselves. Since they don't die of old age, the Elves can't have a generational changeover, nor can they forget what it was like "before" because theoretically, the people they can ask are always physically available. BUT the Noldor canonically DID have a HUUUUGE cultural transition, which is the arrival in Aman and the encounter with the Valr, and consequently the transition from a semi-nomadic hunter-gatherer society to a sedentary, hyper-specialized artisanal society. Furthermore, it's implied that the Noldor experienced enormous population growth over the millennia in Aman (AT LEAST four generations, which is a LOT even if you factor in quadratic exponential growth, let alone couples having more than two children each!), meaning it's likely that the "survivors" from the days of Beleriand have become a rather small minority. Thus, it's not uncommon for "young" Noldor in Aman to have become culturally "distinct" from their grandparents, especially if said grandparents avoided talking about the "horrors" of Beleriand due to trauma (also because how do you explain to your child "well you know, technically you had an uncle, but he was mauled alive by wolves when he was 150, ah the old days am I right" to someone for whom death doesn't even exist as a concept, let alone that kind of violent death?). This might explain why Feänor in his speech referred to Beleriand as this sort of "Lost Land of the Fathers" and not, y'know, A PLACE YOUR ANCESTORS MIGRATED IN MASS TO LEAVE.

This separation of gender roles may have been a similarly "natural" and involuntary process. Tata and Tatyë ruled the Second Clan together, and Finwë and Míriel (and Indis, a poly trio for the win, but she wasn't interested in politics) were supposed to rule together as their successors. But then Míriel died (in childbirth of all things, an involuntary callback to the human condition), and so Finwë found himself ruling alone, a condition that became increasingly burdensome in terms of time and personal relationships because a sedentary society is a bureaucratic anti-society, and bureaucracy is notoriously a pain in the ass that sucks the soul from your body and the time from your life. This also forced him to separate himself from the people to rule his people from above instead of from among, the way he probably did when they were hunter-gatherers and for which he was probably chosen and separated (and by the way, these are two types of government that require two completely different types of skillsets, which is why Finwë in Aman sucked at his job. RIP King, you did the best you could with what you had). Indis, on the other hand, was "forced" to focus all her attention on taking care of her large family and coordinating the work in the family home (which, being nobles, must have been gigantic), jobs that are in turn extremely exhausting and drain you of all your energy and time. And since they were the two rulers, their people looked to them as models, and from here was born the idea of ​​the man as "leader and worker" and the woman as "home and family." And so BOOM BABY! Accidental gender roles!

Beleriand on the other hand up until the First Sunsrise was what I like to call "Australia-level of venomous and/or poisonus horror movie monster shit that costantly tries to kill you out of spite, but with the the climates of Scandinavian countries and Pleistocenean ice Age megafauna". (here is my version of Pre-Sun Beleriand, although it's not necessary to know it for the context of this specific fic. However there is a side reference to the Cataclysm, meaning the ecological event of mass extinction/complete subversion of the continent's morphology that the First Sunrise caused in a world that was essentially born and adapted to perennial darkness and cold). The Elves of Beleriand are therefore much more aware of being animals capable of death, since they are not at the top of the food chain but somewhere in the middle-to-high range, while not of old age, of many violent and painful ways. They are also consequently more familiar with reincarnation and the aladil, since those who leave Mandos go to Alqualonde for an indefinite time to say hello to your relatives who have left for Aman during the Great March, and then take a boat (or make a long swim across the ocean with various stops at the scattered islands along the water, since the Lindar are amphibious) and return to their community in Beleriand. Their societies are therefore extremely gender-egalitarian and non-ableist: every physically available adult is necessarily employed in hunting, and those who are crippled in the accidents that inevitably occur in such dangerous situations take care of the children and other activities essential to any society such as the artisanal production of fabrics, wooden and bone tools (metal-working is a craft specialized by the dwarves and the orcs and obtained through trade), basketry, herbalism, etc.

On a more personal note, despite both being royal wards, their family situations are also extremely different. Artanis is the youngest daughter of the youngest son in a patriarchal and patrilineal society, as well as the youngest of the third generation of Finweans in general, in a family where kinship was actually very tense. Celeborn, on the other hand, is the eldest son of the eldest son of the Warrior King (Thingol and Elmo ruled together in a Diarchy, before Elmo died during the Cataclysm), in a blood family (note: emotional relationships extend beyond blood ones) that is relatively small by Lindarin standards but very loving and united, and marked by many losses even before he was born, including that of his mother when he was a boy and Galathil a child. Artanis is the youngest of the house and therefore rather spoiled (by her father and her brothers alike), a model student who has always fought to be recognized as equal to the men of her society despite her achievements surpassing many of theirs, while Celeborn is already more accustomed to responsibility being the eldest, and because Nimloth is already an adult here and he helped his brother and Brethil (his sister-in-law) raise her, as well as being a priest (Doriath is a theocracy, Melian is both their Queen and their Patron Goddess) and a general and a teacher for the warriors in training. So they have a REALLY different relationship with power, and an even bigger one with the privileges and with the responsabilties toward your community that it entails.

Biological becouse in my AU Elvish Kindreds are actually different species with consequently radical differences that shapes how they view and live in the world (yes I'm working at that bilogy megapost too, very slowly but I'm doing it I swear). The most visceral and fundamental one is that Noldor are omnivores and Lindar are carnivores, and that shapes their relationship with violence, resources, bodies as biological organisms ("my body is a sensation/temptation/low animalistic instincts and indulging too much with it weakens my spirit" vs "my body and my spirit are two connected and inseparable parts and are equally important and what brings joy to one also brings joy to the other") and the food chain as a concept, which in turn brings two different spiritual and philosopical relationship with the concepts of life and death, religion (transcendent theism vs pantheism), and the role of the elves in the universe (anthropocentrism vs ecocentrism/animism). This obviosly reconnects with the cultural difference part.

Another immediate consequence of that is that Noldor and Lindar are physically distinctive (here an unfinished sketch of Noldor/Lindar heads' view from the side).

Noldor are almost perfectly human-like, but with pointy hears and with greater bone and muscle density than humans, which makes them both stronger and more resistant than humans but also slightly slower and less agile than us. Like us, for them body language does most of the work in communication between individuals, but it occurs at an unconscious level. Indications of an individual's mood are primarily facial microexpressions and tone of voice, since the Noldor, like humans, have "weak" hearing and smell, and a weakened and unconscious chemoreceptive ability.

Lindar have gray skin and very different proportions than humans, with their legs 5/9 of their height instead of 1/2. Their eyes are also larger than human’s: an adult Linda has the eye-face proportions of an eight-year-old human child. Their sclerae are black to reduce light reflection and make it more difficult for prey to figure out exactly where they are looking, with a circular pupil that can shrink to a minimum diameter of 2.5 mm (roughly the size of a pinhead) and dilate to a maximum diameter of 3cm, almost swallowing the iris. The irises themselves are of a characteristic "electric blue" due to their bioluminescence, whose brightness variations are useful for distance non-verbal communication with other individuals. Their ears are distinguished, other than that pointy shape that is typically associated with elves, by being very large and movable to better capture sounds and pressure changes. They are about four times longer than human ones, reaching between 20/25 cm in an adult individual. They also move in response to emotions. Their jaws are actually no larger than that of a Noldo/human, but they have a bigger *mouth*. as they have "furrows" (labial folds) that extend far over the human-like lips, reaching almost to the junction point between the maxilla and the mandible. Being carnivores, their teeth are all sharps and that's why they don't "smile" when happy (they curve the end points of their lips at best) becouse that kind of expression would actually read as a threath. Lindar have very few microexpressions compared to the other humanoid species and they communicate emotions mainly with chemioreception, ears, irises brightness and general body posture.

This makes non-verbal communication between Noldor (and the rest of the humanoid species) and Lindar extremely difficult, especially when counting the sclerae as black instead of white (as it's speculated that humans evolved white sclerae specifically to communicate faster and more easily between each other). This is why following Celeborn POV his descriptions of Artanis facial expression are so detailed, becouse he's trying to match them with his own body language's equivalent and file them for future references :)

Also, since Thingol is canonically 2.74m/9ft I decided to make the Lindar the tallest of the Kindreds (though he's still a statistical outliner lmao). For the Noldor the average male height is 1.80m while female average is 1.70m, as opposed as the Vanyar whose male average is 1.80m and female average is 2.00m. Lindar have the same average height for both males and females ad it's 2.30m. Artanis/Galadriel and Celeborn are both VERY taller than their respective average: she's 1.93m/6.33ft, while he's 2.46m/8.07ft.

Last but not least, you may notice that in the fic I refer to a broader set of terms than "Noldor" and "Teleri/Sindar":

The Noldor are also called West Tatyar or Fire Elves.

The term "Teleri" is an exonym given by the Noldor to the Lindar and is considered a slur, because it literally means "latecomers" and has often been used with connotations of "low intelligence," "barbarism/primitive culture," and general backwardness compared to the Noldor. The Lindar, on the other hand, call themselves Lindar (The Singers), Nelyar, Water Elves or Second Clan.

The terms North Tatyar and Stone Elves refer to the Orcs, who in this AU are specifically related to the Noldor (not that the Noldor know this, because they never bothered to ask) and before the Cataclysm were perfectly integrated into the trade and diplomatic network of the rest of Beleriend. Celeborn refers to them internally several times because he has occasionally had personal contact with them in the past, both in diplomatic and military situations.

The general terms Tatyar, Earth Elves and Third Clan refer to both the Noldor and the Orcs :)

Anyway sorry for the very long introduction, here the actual fic:

⚠️CW: graphyc depiction of violence (against an eel) , blood, animal death, swearing

(First Age, 140 years after the First Sunrise. Forest of Doriath, along the shores of Sirion.)

[...] He was about to turn back when he spotted an eel, and what an eel! A female nearly five feet long, he'd rarely seen one that large. But eels were nearly impossible to spear, so it had to be done the old-fashioned way: with bare hands, fangs, and sheer stubbornness. Watching her from the shore, Celeborn considered trying to outspeed her, but quickly dismissed that option: the stretch of water was far from the tributaries, barely deep enough to fully submerge, and far too narrow to attempt to manifest his tail unless he wanted to damage the fins. So he decided to try to outsmart her. He grabbed some small rocks and began throwing them one by one, accompanying each splash with a snap of his jaws. The eel, thinking she was being chased by a pack of predators, panicked and began moving in rapid jerks in the opposite direction of the splashes. Celeborn thus managed to lure her in a particularly wide open space, which until recently had been an oxbow lake, but which the Cataclysm had reconnected back with the Sirion by destroying their respective banks.

There, he waited a couple of minutes to make her believe she'd managed to escape, letting her lower her guard, and used them to slip off his protective leather and shirt as quietly as possible, freeing both sets of gills. Then he took a second to calibrate his trajectory and leap at her, digging his foot talons into her tail and his hand claws into her chest. But the eel must have glimpsed his shadow because she was quick enough to flip over so that the elf bit her gills and not the base of her skull, a serious but not fatal wound. The fish swung her head furiously from side to side, trying to bite him back, but Celeborn managed to shift his head to deliver a second bite lower, away from his opponent's jaws, tilting it so he could sink his teeth deeper. The eel began to spasm, trying to shake him off, but the elf managed to maintain his grip with great difficulty: that bastard fish was slippery and cunning, her muscles powerful enough to knock them both over with each twitch. He growled in frustration, a low angry rumble from the back of his throat as he felt the venom glands in his cheeks swell, preparing to secrete. But he held back, unsure if the amount of venom needed to be injected into a fish this size would affect Artanis when she ate it.

They continued to wrestle, the water tinged red from the deep gashes his claws dug into the eel's battered body and that fish's movements continued to widen, and from the several superficial scratches the sharp rocks of the riverbed were opening into his back. Celeborn was starting to feel dizzy from the lack of oxygen: the water wasn't deep enough to fully submerge him, and his movements were too rapid to properly alternate between his gills and lungs, and the ever-increasing amount of blood wasn't helping. But whatever affected him affected her, he finally managed to finish her with a well-placed bite into her spine, hard enough to break it. He emerged from the water, taking a deep breath to fill his lungs with air, and the eel went limp with a few last, feeble spasms.

Celeborn met her gaze for a moment, and opened his mind to meet hers. As her eyes grew dimmer and dimmer, she opened back, exchanging warm impulses of mutual respect between their minds, before the eel's weary spirit slipped lightly from her body to head for her next life. The elf then gently placed the lifeless body in the gerla, as if folding the arms of a friend against their sleeping chest.

Then, straightening to stand, he grimaced as he felt the slight sting of the scratches on his back. Luckily they were all superficial and had already stopped bleeding, being little more than a nuisance that would completely resolve in less than a week. But he didn't have a week, but a meeting time for which he was already terribly late, and he hadn't brought bandages because, thinking he'd be spear hunting, he hadn't foreseen he'd need them. He couldn't wear his shirt because the fabric would stick to his skin, tearing off the scabs and reopening the wounds when he took it off, but wearing the gerla on his bare back would scratch his skin, risking to scratch it and opening more wounds on top of the ones already there, and would irritate and worsen the existing ones.

Mentally apologizing to his father, Celeborn spread his shirt out on a large rock, using pebbles to hold the edges in place, and began cutting it into the most even strips possible using his claws. Then, still using his claws, he made small holes in both ends of each piece of cloth and sewed them together, using the spare ties from the gerla as improvised thread. He then dipped the resulting bandage in the river to wash away any needles and traces of moss and dirt it might have picked up, and wrapped it tightly around his torso and right upper arm. He put his leather guards back on and slung the gerla over his shoulder, heading toward the clearing.

Needless to say, he returned rather triumphant.

Artanis was waiting for him sitting cross-legged on the tallest boulder. She looked rather displeased, her face a dark frown. But Celeborn also noticed that the bruscola had remained empty, which puzzled him, considering she was the one who would have eaten the berries anyway. And, even more bizarrely, she had no prey to show off. He knew the Noldo was a skilled huntress, she'd proven it several times in the past at least in single-game disciplines, so he'd expected that, if there hadn't been a deer, there'd at least be a couple of hares fresh from the trap when he returned. What the hell had she been doing while he'd been gone, then? From what he knew, Artanis was someone who hated sitting around twiddling her thumbs, so surely she hadn't been sitting there all this time, waiting for him, doing nothing?

But then again, Celeborn had taken longer than expected, so it could be that Artanis had simply gotten tired of waiting alone and had simply eaten. He didn't smell blood, but perhaps the Elves of Aman, among all their needlessly complicated tools, might have invented one that allowed them to snap their prey's neck without spilling a drop...

If that were the case, Celeborn felt anger begin to boil, hot and sudden: there he was, the poor fool who had been counting on the fact that, since they had to hunt separately, they would at least enjoy the meal together. He felt hungry too, yet he hadn't touched a single bit of his prey for that very occasion! Did the Noldo really not consider him worthy of even that basic consideration? If she was really getting bored, let her at least come find him! But there she was, and she had even ruined her appetite, which meant Celeborn had done all that work for nothing, and-!

Celeborn shook his head and tried to take calming breaths. Sure, from his (long and painful) personal experience, Artanis could be simpering, self-centered and inconsiderate, but most of the time it was simply ignorance of local customs rather than true malice. As far as he knew, what he was doing was just conjecture: perhaps Artanis's equipment had simply broken, or she'd had some other problem that prevented her from bringing him something to the meeting. This might also explain why she seemed so out of sorts: even Celeborn would be furious if fate played such tricks on him just when he was trying to impress someone!

Celeborn couldn't ruin everything before it even began just because of his bad temper and his tendency to always assume the worst. And besides, even if she had already eaten, he still had a rather impressive haul, and he knew how to put on a show while he consumed it. Maybe this could still work. He was too offended to allow her a mating with him anyway, BUT maybe he could let her comb his hair towards the end of the date…

He slid off his gerla, undoing the buckle and lifting the lid with dramatic slowness, and made a deep vibrating purr as he revealed its contents.

"Et voilà, for you, Your Lady, five carp, three trout, eleven perch, and one fresh eel!"

"It's your Highness," was the only thing she replied, so sour and dry that could have cut ash wood.

Celeborn tried to suppress the flash of irritation that surged through him at her ignoring him. Perhaps she didn't mean it maliciously; she probably doesn't even know how hard it is to catch an eel. He was there to give her a chance. And besides, the Noldor seemed to place much more weight on noble titles, as strange as some of them may be. Indeed, they were apparently more numerous than those used by the Nelyar, and even more than those used by their cousins the North Tatyar, with whom Celeborn had occasionally been familiar in the past.

This one in particular he couldn't recognize, but from what little Quenya he'd managed to learn, it seemed to resemble the words for "tall," "height," or maybe "long" ("upper", perhaps?). In any case, it certainly referred to someone high up in the chain of responsibility.

It was a bit of a funny choice of description though, given that, though bulkier, the Second Clan had always been small in size compared to the Third. In any case, Celeborn couldn't conceptually accept a hierarchical correction from someone who was theoretically trying to become his peer in everyday life, nor could he take it semantically seriously from someone who barely reached below his breasts. "You don't look very tall to me."

He had the privilege (and the petty satisfaction, he'll be honest with himself) of seeing Artanis's face lose the "good manners" composure she always tried to maintain. Her eyes widened, her eyebrows raised and drawn together, and her mouth opened with her lips slightly pursed, the expression the Iathrim had often seen on her kind's faces when they explained to them that no, fruit wasn't perpetually on the trees in Beleriand, yes, it was normal for the prey you hunted to try to attack you and kill you as well as flee, and no, snow and cold weren't a divine punishment but something that happened cyclically every year. Bewilderment, was what the Sindar had learned to identify it with. It was therefore bewilderment that she was looking at him with, as if she couldn't believe those words had actually come out of his mouth. Well, now that he thought about it, Noldor women always seemed to be a bit shorter than men, but she seemed to tower over even the Noldor men, except for her own brothers. It was therefore very likely that no one had ever called her short before, quite the opposite instead.

Then her face began to flush, her brows furrowing above her tense eyelids and her piercing gaze, while her mouth closed with an effort to conceal her gnashed teeth, and the Sinda could now clearly smell the pungent odor of anger.

Realizing he made a mistake, Celeborn tried to backtrack. "...I mean, you're short by Lindarin standards, obviously! To the Noldor, you're a tower! An oak!"

The oak was the symbol of majesty. Its wood was hard, sturdy, and resistant to both weather and pests. Celeborn would have been flattered if someone had compared him to an oak. Artanis, on the other hand, just seemed angrier.

It was obvious to him that he was doing something wrong, but Celeborn just couldn't figure out what. He pressed his lips together and widened his pupils, hunching his shoulders slightly and tilting his head to expose his neck.

She didn't seem to get the excuse, but when he didn't respond, she decided to change the subject. “So, how did you plan to cook them?”

“Cook them?”

“Yes, cooking them. You know.” She made a vague gesture with her hand, looking annoyed. “How did you plan to eat them?

Celeborn was the one that stared at her in bewilderment this time, not understanding. What kind of question was that? Since time immemorial, all beasts have eaten with their mouths. Unless the curse Aunt Melian spoke of included a transmutation clause, and what the Noldor were trying to hide was a slow transformation into a tree, requiring them to feed through their toes as if they were roots, which was why they dressed their feet in those strange "shoes" (which didn't even resemble the boots the North Tatyar wore!) instead of cloth stripes. But even opening his perception to glimpse the energy of any concealing spells, he couldn't see the tiniest leaf sprout in her hair, nor any parts of her skin that looked particularly rough or gnarled, and so Celeborn felt quite confident in calling the hypothesis unlikely. “...With our teeth?”

[i-support-celeborn-wrongs]

Tuor was startled awake by the insistent knocking on his door. His body went completely rigid, his heart pounding, before his mind caught up and he remembered where he was right now. He glanced at the window, the waning moon high in the dark sky. Whoever was looking for him must be in a urgent mood.

He leaped downstairs, his bare feet nearly hitting the bedframe in his haste, and opened the door to find Itarillë standing there, her eyes still red from crying.

“Nightmare?” was the only question Tuor asked her as he moved to let her in.

Itarillë shook her head as she sat on his bed, her prosthetics cold in the moonlight. “Vision?” he asked as he sat beside her. She nodded before resting her head on his shoulder, her breathing still a little shaky. Tuor gently massaged her back as he waited for her to recover enough to share, if she chose to. The room felt intimate and warm in the stillness of the night, a comfortable silence filled only by their breathing.

“It's the same as the last times,” Itarillë said, her voice hoarse with fear and tears. “Ondolindë was burning in flames, set on fire by orcs and Morgoth’s other monsters.” She looked as if she wanted to say something else, but her mouth snapped shut, her teeth biting her lips almost bloody. Her eyes seemed on the verge of tears again, lost in dark, terrible thoughts.

Tuor squeezed her hand. “Breathe, Itarillë. I am here with you, and I intend to stay as long as I live. Whatever happens, we will face it together.”

She didn’t answer, but rested her face against his chest, searching for his pulse as if afraid she would never find it again. Tuor held her tightly in his embrace, feeling his heart race. Itarillë was a strong and wise woman, braver and more resilient than Tuor himself perhaps could ever have been. Seeing her so frightened troubled him, for only something unspeakably horrible could frighten her so. Yet, the fear only strengthened his resolve to stand beside her in that clearly bleak future.

“You were there this time, Tuor.” The elf whispered. “And Lómion.”

“Lómion?” Tuor asked, puzzled. Why would Lómion be with them specifically? If the city were truly under siege, the Lords would need to be in very different places to protect it to the best of their respective Houses’ abilities.

Itarillë nodded again, her face hardening with anguish. “He was clad in a pitch black armor, unlike what he usually wears in battle. It resembled the armor of orcs in style. I… I do not think he was on our side, Tuor. And… And he was covered in blood, and his eyes shone with evil power. He had his sword raised, and you were right in his sights… I thought he was going to kill you, Tuor!” His future wife then burst into desperate sobs, and every sound was a tore at his heart.

Tuor did not know what to say, for he certainly did not have the gift of foresight. Anything he might have said was nothing more than hopeful conjecture. “What was I like in the vision, Itarillë?” he asked then.

She was so surprised by the question that her tears stopped, and she frowned as she tried to remember. “In armor… You were in full armor, the shield bearing the symbols of a house I did not know. Our future, probably.”

Tuor nodded. “And you?”

“I was there with you,” Itarillë said reflexively. “Otherwise I could not have had this vision. I… I was holding someone close, I think. I don't know who, for I didn't see them, but I feel it was someone important to me. To us.”

“Then if you are there with me, I will have nothing to fear,” Tuor said with conviction. “Because my love for you gives me strength. And for that unknown person, too, probably. I will fight to the last with all my might to return to you, to you both. And if it really goes wrong, you will be there to cover my back.”

“But I am not a warrior,” Itarillë said. “I cannot fight, I have no weapons to my name.”

“Then you will become one, and you will have them. I will personally ask the smiths to make some for you, I will ask the King on bended knee if it is necessary.”

“He will not allow you.” Itarillë replied sadly. “Women cannot fight, and even if they could, my father would never allow me to put myself in danger like that.”

“And he would rather leave you in danger without weapons?”

“He would give me weapons, perhaps; I could persuade him.” She said slowly, thoughtfully. “But he will keep me away from battle, away from the rear lines even. He will not let me train, not to the level of a soldier.”

“Then we will do it in secret.” Tuor took her hands in his, placing a soft kiss on her knuckles. “I'll teach you personally. I know you have what it takes, just a talent waiting to bloom.”

Itarillë smiled sweetly, the first one that evening, and switched their hands so that she could return the kiss. “Yes. For you, melmenya, anything.”

[i-support-celeborn-wrongs]

WIP of the first chapter of Love is in the air tonight, or in all the nights of Echoriath. A comedy of errors ft. Tuor and Maeglin plus the Court of Gondolin as collateral damage.

Or, to summarize: Maeglin enters pre-rut hyperphagia and Tuor has a sexually repressed bisexual crisis over it, while accidentally performing all the right steps of a food courtship and so gaining a boyfriend without even knowing it.

NB this is a set in an AU where Elven Kindreds are actually different species. Becouse of the huge differences between the Kindreds biologies they can't """interbreed""", to use a technical term, and while they can have children between them they will inherit only the father's species (which is the reason Elven families are patrilinear). So Maeglin is a Linda like Eöl and not a Noldo like Aredhel. The Lindar are the less humanoid-like of all the three Kindreds, and also the only one working on a hormonal cycle. They are also carnivores, unlike Noldor and Humans who are omnivores. Most of the fic misunderstandings are based on the fact that Tuor does not know any of this.

⚠️ cw: misoginy, bodyshaming, references to offscreen violence, and sexual tension that borders oogling. Also, there are several moments in which Tuor is scared, uneasy and/or anxious that may be uncomfortable to read for people sensitive to that.

When the frost began to melt, Lómion began to act weirdly. Well, weirder than usual.

If he already wasn't the embodiment of sunshine, he was now irritable and aggressive, seeming prone to anger at even the wrong look (though what the Prince considered "a wrong look" seemed more subjective than ever, which led servants and lords alike to avoid his gaze altogether, lowering their eyes when they crossed his path and staring past him if they absolutely had to speak to him. Not that Lómion encouraged conversation). He squinted uncomfortably at the light, and could barely hide a grimace at the lively sounds of the city. He was more tired than usual, exhausted even, especially in the afternoon when he seemed almost drowsy. At the same time he was incredibly restless, especially at evening, shifting uncomfortably in his chairs as if struggling to remain seated, his leg twitching with frantic impatience, his eyes darting to follow every movement.

His appetite had also visibly increased.

On the third day of this new change, dinner consisted of larded pheasant stuffed with deer liver sausage (left over from lunch) and slivers of roasted chestnuts.

Usually, the platters of meat were placed in front of the King's seat and then passed to his left, counterclockwise, so that Lómion would get it last and the Prince could finish the entire remaining portion without fear of offending the rest of the diners. That day, however, no one seemed interested in the meat, whose platter had strangely been placed directly in front of Lómion, including the Prince himself, who was far more focused on his frankly alarming quantity of pork and taleggio cheese rolls. Tuor glanced nervously around the other diners, eager to have some, but the bizarre atmosphere was making him feel uneasy for a reason he couldn't name. It didn't seem like a dish meant for any kind of ceremony (for Illuvatar only knows how many Gondolin had!), but he didn't want to risk disrespecting some tradition he might be unaware of. After all, since the Elves' lives were so long, some of their celebrations fell on a five-year, ten-year, or even centennial basis, unlike the annual one of Men. He wanted to ask Lord Aldaron, sitting to his right, but the Lord of the House of the Tree was too absorbed in his discussion with Lord Tuilindo about the tiles of the new rose garden pavilion. Itarillë also seemed very engrossed in her animated conversation on the last equestrian palio with Princess Lalwen, to which the King was also paying attention with a slightly frowning look, adding comment about a specific horse or rider every now and then.

After a moment of hesitation, he thought it would be a shame if a dish prepared with such obvious care would go to waste, and decided on a leg. But he hadn't even touched the edge of the tray before a low, deep growl reverberated through his bones, and the entire room suddenly fell silent.

The other diners were watching the situation sideways, tense as violin strings, but Tuor was too frightened by the source to care. Prince Lómion was pinning him with a gaze so fierce and penetrating it almost seemed as if he were considering how best to slice him into pieces. With the hairs on his neck standing on end, Tuor pulled his hand away from the meat and used it instead to push the tray toward him, like a little tender bunny rolling an apple toward a hungry fox. Then he slowly removed his hands, still keeping them visible, and raised them in surrender for good measure.

Only then did Lómion stop growling, blinking a couple of times as if he were just now remembering where he was, and he coughed to regain his usual cold composure, though he continued to glare at him.

"It's mine." the Prince simply announced in an icy voice, and Tuor nodded with perhaps a little too much energy than necessary, while Lómion pulled the tray closer to him and returned to concentrating on his rolls. The other diners then finally relaxed, and the room returned to its usual idle chatter as if nothing had happened.

Tuor also returned to his plate, timidly moving the onions and lentils in salsa verde with his fork. Actually, the meat wasn't really essential; surely there must be other delicacies. All the dishes in Gondolin were so flavorful and varied that Tuor could survive on vegetables alone for a few weeks. Just look at that salad, what's healthier than a salad? There were primroses and violets in this one too! Yes, Lómion could have all his meat dishes, after all, Tuor didn't need them that much.

The next day, just to be sure he'd settled whatever kind of disagreement was the one over the pheasant, he decided to forgo his portion of sliced beef, sliding his blue majolica tray toward the Prince. The elf practically jumped in his skin at the unexpected contact, too absorbed in his thoughts to notice the muffled sound of the tray on the silk until he felt the cool ceramic touch his arm. He whirled around, his ears flattened against the skull and his eyes wide with something that could almost have passed for fear, the pupils so large they blended with his black sclerae. It lasted only a fraction of a second before they focused on Tuor, and the human felt a tingle down his spine as he watched them shrink to pinpricks. He fought hard the urge to leap from his chair, instead pressing himself against the edge of the backrest as the Prince seemed to peer at him, a light pressure at the edges of his mind that the man had come to recognize as telepathy. Lómion's, however, was different from that of his relatives: not a flow of words as fresh and light as the summer breeze, but a warm, pulsating sensation, an electric impulse that bounced constantly between a mind and the other, but which Tuor was unable to grasp and stop to read. Or at least it was in most cases, seemingly involuntary, for even though he had never used it on the human himself, Itarillë had told him that Lómion was capable of speaking with ósanwë as his cousins did, and even of transforming the breeze into a sharp, icy spear, like a dagger driven painfully deeper into the skull until the other surrendered or retreated, an ability no Noldo had ever possessed, and which understandably left them very unsettled. In any case, whether voluntary or not and even if it wasn't a painful sensation, Tuor was too dizzy by it to be able to raise the walls of his mind as Itarillë had taught him.

Finally, after what must have been a few seconds but felt like an eternity, Lómion seemed to find what he was looking for, for he tore his gaze away and turned to the tray, pulling it toward himself. Tuor blinked a couple of times as the room around them came back to his senses, not even a faint throb remaining in his head. Perhaps he was even more lucid than before, for he realized that subconsciously he would have preferred Lómion to ignore the offer so that he could eat the beef instead. He watched with something akin to despondency as the Prince grabbed his knife to scrape away the thick layer of sesame seeds in honey and ground almonds sauce that coated and flavored the meat, and then devoured each slice in a single bite.

But perhaps he had made a mistake. For all the days that followed, Lómion appropriated every plate of meat that Tuor received without even asking, meticulously eliminating everything that wasn't protein. Tuor didn't even protest; something in his gut told him it wouldn't be wise to try.

After a week from the start of the Spring Tour, reaching slightly for the salt, accidentally bumped his knee against Lómion's thigh. It was a fairly common occurrence, in fact, because if Tuor was tall, Lómion was even taller; his incredibly long legs, bent under the table as they were to fit, would inevitably have been cramped even with a neighbor smaller than the Human. Still, Tuor found himself in a cold sweat. He furtively glanced at Lómion, who was watching him with a strange intense expression, but he didn't move and soon went back to ignoring him to concentrate on what he was eating. Clumsily returning to his seat, Tuor noticed that the thigh against which his knee was pressing suddenly seemed more… soft? While the elasticity of his large, firm muscles could still be clearly felt, there was definitely a softer, spongy sensation now, almost like... Fat??? Incredulous, Tuor looked down and noticed that yes, his neighbor's pants were visibly tighter. Eleven days after the start of spring, an incident occurred. The details were not known exactly, but it was said that it had occurred in the middle of the afternoon, in the Well Cloister of the East Wing, starting as a harsh altercation between the Prince and some of the roundsman and ending with five shattered elf-sized amphora planters, the intervention of the guards, a broken arm for the gardener and a terrified and sobbing maid who was then transferred in the following days to work in the South Wing. Lómion was immediately dragged into the King's office and remained there until the next day. The Prince was then temporarily suspended from his duties and then locked himself in his chambers. In this period the staff of the House of the Mole also became more cold and hostile toward the other households, though the specific reason remained private between the Prince's and the King's Houses.

Two and a half days later, the Prince returned to dinner, and for the next few days he continued to not leave his chambers except for dinner.

Two weeks after the start of spring, Lómion's thighs had begun to visibly overhang the edge of the chair, even as closed. They seemed so soft that Tuor felt a sudden irrational urge to dip a finger into them, but he held back. Although Maeglin didn't seem particularly responsive at the moment, Tuor shared the common human preference of wanting to keep all his limbs attached to his body, nor was it respectful to touch another person's body without their permission.

Though it was absolutely none of his business how much or what another person ate, Tuor couldn't help but be concerned. He was well aware that while the two Races looked fairly similar, elven health wasn't the mirror image of human health, and thus it wasn't reasonable to use the parameters of one to evaluate the other, but such a drastic weight gain didn't seem healthy even for an elf. Especially since it seemed strangely localized: though his thighs, hips and gluteal region were visibly thicker and, err… jiggly, the rest of his body seemed to have undergone no visible change, save for a very thin extra layer of fat over his abs. Not that Tuor was staring at the ass of his future wife's cousin! That would have been not only unfair to Itarillë, but also completely disrespectful to Lómion himself, and Tuor was truly trying to be a man capable of better and deeper appreciation for a person than an old drunkard in a tavern would have! It was simply that the weight gain had also increased the natural sway Lómion possessed, which he normally tried to suppress, and consequently had also increased the… movement… of those parts. As the days passed, this had become increasingly evident, to the point that even those who normally didn't notice the most subtle changes had noticed it (because it was anything but subtle), to the extreme discomfort of the entire court. For the Noldor everything relating to the body, especially the adult body, had to be hidden under numerous layers of clothing and kept as politely as possible out of conversation, even when it involved medical matters. This new shape of the Prince (which apparently wasn't new, according to the little information that had reached Tuor's ears. It was simply that most of the years since he had obtained his House, the Prince had chosen to absent himself from the city for "business trips" to the quarries and mines, although some more insidious rumors insisted that he wasn't actually heading for the mountains at all but rather eloping with a mysterious maiden to the infamous Telerin Quarters) was not only shamefully effeminate for a Lord, but also incredibly obscene and dishonorable for everyone involved. However, no one, not even the King himself, had dared to say this to his face, not wanting to risk suffering the same fate as the poor gardener. Even Lord Aldaron, who was notoriously blunt, knew better than to point this out to him, especially since, judging by how Lómion's cloaks had become progressively looser and more covering throughout that period, the Prince was already quite aware of it himself.

Two weeks and two days into Spring, something strange happened, something that could be considered a significant improvement on Tuor's diet at the time. The human was diligently eating his dish of boiled agretti, leeks, and spring onions spiced with nigella and poppy's seeds, and his salad of lovage, seseli leaves, and nasturtium cultivated directly in the fountains of Lord Ektelion's private garden, when a small loaf of white mayne bread was rolled from his right. Alarmed, Tuor looked up at Lómion and felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end when he saw the Prince giving him that strange, intense look again. The elf remained seemingly unfazed by his anxiety, but he tilted his head slightly and moved his eyes toward the loaf, implicitly gesturing for him to take it. Tuor then reached out to take it, his heart pounding and his ears ringing, and he did not take his eyes off Lómion for a second. The Prince didn't break eye contact too, still with that impassive expression, and seeing him frozen with his wide-eyed gaze, he mimed the action of swallowing, impatient and a little bit irritated as if dealing with a particularly difficult child. Finally realizing what he wanted, Tuor brought the loaf to his mouth, but hesitated to bite: his instinct told him that if he didn't accept, there would be severe consequences, but he also sensed that if he did accept, there would be equally important consequences, although in both cases he had no idea what they might be. Lómion continued to stare at him intently, and so finally hunger won and Tuor took the first bite of the bread. Encouraged by the fact that Lómion hadn't yet shown the slightest sign of fangs, the man finished the loaf, though the sweat on his hands made it slightly slippery and his dry mouth made it difficult to swallow.

After what was frankly a ridiculously high level of effort to chew a loaf of fresh bread, Tuor didn't even have time to open his mouth to ask for clarification before the Prince pushed a small earthenware bowl of goat's cadolet steeped in semi-fermented milk toward him. The man felt his eyes widen in surprise and froze like a deer before a torch, until Lómion began stamping his foot impatiently. Despite his young age, Tuor was wise enough not to waste an opportunity when it was presented to him, and he decided that the chance to eat and not being killed by Lómion's bite for doing so was one of the best opportunities he had ever had. But as he moved to grasp the spoon, the Prince lifted his lips to slighty reveal his fangs, without growling, and Tuor instinctively dropped the silverware from his hand. It clattered to the floor with an audible metallic clung that earned him a sideways glance from the other diners, who just as quickly returned to their conversations. His heart pounding again, the human turned to Lómion, who was looking at him with visible approval, and again silently nodded toward the cheese bowl.

Thus it was that Tuor, vaguely wondering what combination of his recent choices had led him to this situation, found himself dipping his fingers into a bowl of semi-fermented milk under the unyielding scrutiny of the Prince of the Hidden City. Only when he had thoroughly cleaned them with his tongue Lómion did finally break eye contact, leaning closer to sniff the crook of his neck, a strange rumble emitted from his chest, unthreatening but low enough to vibrate through Tuor's own ribcage.

His breath was as warm and moist as his skin, a metallic aftertaste too strong and pungent to be from any kind of cooked meat, and Tuor felt his heart stop as a long tongue slowly ran along the back of his ear. He then moved slightly higher to nibble delicately at the roots of his hair, a little snort as the blond strands tickled his nose. The prince concluded with a light bunt of his head against the human's temple with a rumble just a note higher than the previous one, and then returned his concentration on what was his tenth partridge egg for the evening, looking exceedingly satisfied. Tuor wasn't sure what had happened, since Lómion ignored him for the rest of the dinner that evening, and continued to ignore him for all the other dinners. The fact is that from that moment on, Tuor was able to resume eating dairy products, even though Lómion had made it clear that meat and eggs were still off-limits.

Edit: For those interested, here the site where I got most of the herbs/plants mentioned in the text, along with their uses. Also, since I couldn't find anything directly related to an explanation of Mayne bread specifically, here a general explanation of medieval bread :)

[the-umaiar-side-has-choco]

Quick marker drawing of Olórin during his years on the Halls of Mandos :)

He's one of the children of Irmo and Este, though his powers are a specialization of his father's Domain. His Valarin name (hc) is Illibūlēz (Dream-maker), as he's the leader of the Dreambringers. Since communications between Houses/Wards mainly occur through the House/Ward Heads, after a few millennia "Dream Bringer" began to refer to Illibūlēz par excellence, and it remained as a nickname even when he went to apprentice with Nienna. For this, the elves of Valinor later will slightly "mistraslste" his name, for in Quenya he's known as Olórin ("Dream Bringer").

His skin is lilac like Irmo's, and his hair are like his father's too. In this form, his head is shaped like almost perfectly round sphere, on which his face "sits" on in the shape of a butterfly's wings. The markings on his upper wings resemble Vairë's eyes, but they are actually just markings. His actual eyes are the six spots on his lower wings (three on each), round and slightly flattened, with the sclerae of the same fuchsia as the spirals in Irmo's. His irises, however, are the same bright "unnatural" red shade as his lips.

His palms are squat and broad, slightly asymmetrical, and his fingers are long and tapered, with slightly curved tips and sharp claw-like edges. Despite this, they do not cut. Instead, they serve to delicately penetrate the unconscious of mortals, and during sleep, combine the abstract figures and memory elements found there to create dreams.

His "clothes" aren't actually clothes but rather the fana itself. The under strate is a robe dark gray outside and cold gray inside. Over it he "wears" a sort of giornea in the shape of a series of overlapping leaves, a callback to the Gardens of Lórien, and with the colors of Autumn, for autumn is the season where nature prepare to sleep. It could also be interpreted as an inverted flame, foreshadowing his future connection with Narya, the Ring of Fire.

His fana has no feet, instead his robe "creeps" over the ground, with the frayed edges that work like the legs of a centipede.

[the-umaiar-side-has-choco]

Valar's Eyes, Domains and Sacred Colors

PS: I actually finished the first drawing in… uh, November, I think? But I still had to do Vana, Tulkas, and Este, and then I got distracted with other doodles and projects, and these ended up in my schoolbooks's pages... Towards the end of February I picked up them again and finished the Valar that I still had to do, but then I forgot to post them. Gist of the story: It's April, and it's been so long that I've forgotten what some of the images I used as specific references were. But I finally did it! It took me something like five hours to write down all the descriptions (wtf, how), but I did it!

Side note about the random stuff I found while researching: the Latin word fana is the plural of fanum, a type of small religious building of the Romans :)

TBBMS AU has a more pagan structure than the canon, which, despite "sketching" a pagan structure with the Ainur as adjacent deities-like with specific powers actually resembles a monotheistic structure with an omnipotent "creator" god and a divine plan, and the Ainur as various "angelic hosts," including "fallen angels" led by Melkor (that the metaphysics of the Legendarium also fails the monotheistic-Christianish framework is a discourse for another post).

In TBBMS, however, Eru is the creator of the Ainur, yes, but he is an "extra-world" deity, while the Ainur themselves are a divine pantheon of immanent and amoral forces. However, Eru still tries to "control" the Ainur and maintain control over their choices and creations, which led to Melkor's rebellion. (this is a very complex worldbuilding lore that I want to dedicate a separate post to too. Sorry guys I know this is the already the second time I've mentioned it in this same post, but it's one of the cornerstones of the plot-lore and I'd like to give it the focus it deserves.)

The Valar are all siblings between them since they were created at the same time by Eru and when they wed between them (greek phanteon style) each couple had children, the Maiar. The Ainur are personifications of the elements they dominate (Ulmo IS Water), and the parts of reality/world over which the Ainur rule/have power are called Domains. The powers of the Maiar are either a specific manifestation of one of their parents' Domains (e.g., Ossë is the Storm, Unien is the Calm Sea) or one of their meeting points (e.g., Eonwë is Dawn/Dusk Sky). There is also a fundamental distinction among the Ainur, which was lost in communication with the Elves (Noldor) and consequently with Men, between "Maia of" (= child of) and "Maia in service of" (= apprentice/student of). For example, Melian is a Maia of Yavanna but she also had been a Maia in service of Vana and Este, Olòrin is a Maia of Irmo (one of the dreambringers specifically, that do complementary works to their nightmerebringers sibilings) and has been a Maia in service of Manwë, Varda and Nienna.

As in canon, the Ainur are fundamentally bodyless Spirits, and had to take on a fana when they descended into Arda. However, while being shapeshifters, they have a """natural""" form which they tend to automatically shift into as the basis of a fana, unconsciously shaped by their Domains and personalities. During the Years of the Lamps the fanar were pretty much humanoid in shape, but usually had either animal elements, or even elements of the flora (Yavanna and Vana) and/or minerals (Aulë). The "basic" fana of the Maiar tends to resemble that of their respective Valar in the same way that human children resemble their parents. Some examples regarding eyes specifically: Mairon has Aule's, Eonwë and Ilmarë both have Varda's, Ossë and Unien both have Ulmo's :)

(the Dragons, being Melkor and Mairon's children, in their Ainuric forms have Mairon's eyes with Melkor's scales.)

With the awekening of the Children of Illuvatar, these fanar have been "polished and sanded" to appear more elf-like and therefore more familiar and reassuring.

In this post I will talk about what the Valar's eyes look like in the Years of the Lamps, as well as their Domains. Furthermore, taking inspiration from some Catholic traditions that associate certain colors with candles for prayers/summonings of specific angelic hosts, I will mention which are the sacred colors of the Valar for their in-AU rituals.

Varda is the goddess of the Stars and the Night Sky, and her eyes are like a open window to her Domain. They are almond-shaped but tilted upward 45° compared to a human's. They have no sclera, irises or pupils and they are black like Eä outside the borders of Arda is. If you look in them from close enough you can see the stars moving. Technically she don't even have eyelids too, but the long silver lashes that grow from her eyes' edges give the impression that she does. She is also a goddess of War, even though her battles are more a thing of the Primordial Past, when she (along with Tulkas) was the main protector of the Timeless Halls against the void-spawn monsters of Eä's first millennia. Her colors are black or purple.

Manwë is the god of the Day Sky, Air, Winds, Lightning and Rain, as well as the Lord of the Birds. His eyes are those of an eagle, but with sky-blue irises and sclerae and white pupils, senile arches and eyelashes. It is said that he can see the world through the eyes of all living (incarnate) creatures that soar in the sky, and that if you look deep into the eyes of an Eagle (his sacred animal), you can see what he sees across the physical dimension of Arda. His colors are azule and white.

Melkor is the god of Entropy, Shadows, Winter (Cold, Ice, Snow) and Destruction, as well as the Lord of Reptiles. As such his eyes are like those of a reptile (unfortunately I can't remember WHICH reptile I used as a reference; I know their eyes can be quite different sorry), but with black sclerae and ice-blue irises, with black slitted pupils that absorb the surrounding light. Also the "skin" around his eyes its covered in black scales and his eyelashes are encrusted with snow. His colors are black, ice-blue, dark blue and some specific shades of green and purple.

Ulmo is the god of Water and of the Ocean. His eyes are shaped like a fish's (again, I've forgotten which fish I specifically referenced, sorry), round and large. He has no eyelids, and his pupils have a glassy, liquid-like effect. The irises are fixed in size, almost as large as the eye itself, and their colour shifts between aquamarine and the various shades of blue found in the sea's different depths, with the visual effect typical of light refracting on the surface of the sea. His colour is blue.

Aulë is the god of Earth, Fire, Stone, Gems and Minerals and of the Arts of Craft. His Domain also includes volcanoes and earthquakes. His eyes have a geometric shape with very sharp angles, which often change due to the movement of the magma that flows inside his fana along with ichor. The edges have a thick, dark line of solidified lava. They have no irises, but a sclera of living flame, and the lines are straight and serpentine, though they can narrow or widen during strong emotions. His colors are red and orange.

Yavanna is the goddess of Plants and Agriculture. Her eyes are shaped like ovoid leaves of a bright green colour, and that widen toward the nose. They have no irises or pupils, but they are crisscrossed by yellowish leaf-like veins. Her colours are any shade of green but especially the dark ones.

Oromë is the god of Hunt, Archery, Predatory Animals and Wilderness. His eyes are like a wolf's in color and shape, but they glow from inside. It is said that a mortal's heart stops beating if they looks directly into his eyes. His colors are any shade of brown and occasionally blood red.

Nessa is the goddess of Herbivorous Animals and of the Arts of Dance, Gymnastics and Acting. Her eyes look like a the ones of a deer, her sacred animal. Her color is pink.

Nienna is the goddess of Mourning, Suffering, Crying, Hope, Compassion and Consolation (and in a broader sense of Emotions and Interiority in general). Her eyes are slightly downward-slanted (I took inspiration from SU's Blue Diamond for this), with cool gray sclerae, warm gray irises, and silver pupils and lashes. Given her divine role, it's common to see her cry light-glistening tears. Her colour is grey.

Irmo is the deity of Dreams, Nightmares, Sleep, Psyche, Unconsciuos, Imagination, Madness and Ecstasy. As such, they're a Spirit whose gender is ever-changing, eluding all definition. Their eyes are human-like in shape but not in appearance, giving so a sense of disorientation. Their eyes are pink and have neither iris nor pupil, but hypnotic circles that eternally expand from the center to the edge of the eye, where they are "eaten" by the eyelids. Their eyelashes are violet. It is said that if a mortal look them in the eye while they're awake they'll descend into madness. Their colors are lilac and impossible/imaginary colors such as olo.

Namo is the deity of Death, Souls, Fate and Prophecies. As an unembodied Spirit they were completely genderless, although once they took the fana they were not averse to being addressed as either male or female. They don't speak much but when they do they use a very deep, booming and reverbering voice, and for this reason in many cultures (especially human ones) they are interpreted as male and therefore depicted with male attributes/characteristics. In reality, even after the awakening of the Children of Illuvatar, their fana remains completely hidden by black robes, and when their hands appear from beneath the cloth they appear bony, as if completely devoid of muscle, and with a wrinkled skin of the paled color of a dead body's. Namo's face cannot be seen from beneath their hood, but if one could, one would see that they have no eyes. Instead there are two hollow cavities like those of a skull from whose centers blazes a purplish light. Their colour is dark purple.

Vairë is the Deity of Time, History, Writing (Alphabet) and of the Arts of Weaving, Tapestry and Drawing. They are also the deity associated to insects and spiders. They're a genderless Spirit like their spouse, but like them they don't mind being addressed as male or female. Their fana is also completely covered by robes (although of lighter colors than their spouse), but unlike Namo's, Vairë's hands and face are left uncovered. Their eyes are large and vaguely insect-like, a grayish color without irises or pupils that reveals nothing. They too aren't particularly talkative, and when they speak their tone is said to be airy yet little expressive. Many peoples interpret and depict them as having feminine attributes and/or characteristics, including elves. Their colours are violet and occasionally ash gray.

Vana is the goddess of Youth, Childbirth and Parenthood, as well of one of the deities of Life. Her eyes have an iris like the stamens of a daisy, the central one the same pale green as the sclera and acting as the iris. Her eyelashes are petals of various colors, starting greenish at the part touching the eye and becoming increasingly brighter towards the edges. Her color is light green.

Tulkas is the god of Strenght, Fight, Violence and (even if not all peoples recognize and/or worship these parts of him) Bloodshed and War. His eyes have pink sclerae with yellow irises and orange pupils and limbal rings. His eyelashes are yellow too and longer and thicker than a human's, to match his lion mane-like hair, mustache and beard. His color is yellow.

Este is the goddess of Healing, Medicine and the Body. She has the more human-like eyes of all the Ainur. She has hazel irises (brown blending into green) becouse most of ancient medicines were made with plants and herbs. Her color is white.

[the-umaiar-side-has-choco]

(speculative) Flora and Fauna of Beleriand in the Years of the Stars

(Or TBBMS AU biology part 1)

cw: mentions of necrocannibalism, elves kindreds as different species.

Everything I've written is based on the knowledge I've gained from school science classes and various Google searches, so any scientific or pseudoscientific information in this text should be taken with a grain of salt. If anyone with a reliable source contradicts anything I've written, please let me know so we can learn together :)

Also, English is not my native language, so I apologize if some passages are unclear, especially the more technical ones.

First of all, I think it's important to begin by specifying that I believe it's incorrect to use the term "Years of the Trees" to refer to the counting of the Years of Beleriand, given that the Two Trees are in Valinor and their light couldn't reach across the Ocean, given that it's explicitly stated that Beleriand is illuminated only by the stars (and that the reflection of the Trees' light is a characteristic of the Calaquendi!). It makes sense to use the terms "Years of the Stars" and "Years of the Trees" from a Noldor historiographical perspective, because for them they correspond to two very different eras in their history as a people. If, however, we consider the cultural lens of the various Elven peoples of Beleriand (or even the Dwarves), this distinction seems illogical: it's as if we expected a Chinese person to use "the Tudor Era" to refer to the history of China, or vice versa an English person to use "Han Dynasty" to refer to the history of England. It's much more likely that the Elves remaining in Beleriand counted their years from the Awakening, and/or had a particularly impactful historical event marking a major change among multiple peoples, such as the war/battle that killed King Denethor (son of Lelwë), which led the Green-elves to their semi-nomadic lifestyle.

The term Years of the Stars may indeed have been introduced to Beleriand by the Noldor, and then adopted by the Elves of Beleriand in relation to the "Years of the Sun," which had just begun.

Therefore, when I use "Years of the Stars" for Beleriand, I am referring to the period of time between the Awakening of the Elves at Cuiviénen and the first rising of the Moon (and therefore the Sun).

So, what were the flora and fauna of Beleriand like in the Years of the Stars?

Let's start with geography. Melkor is the only Ainur associated with cold, with his lands covered in thick layers of ice and snow. His power alone, in the most ancient times (such as the Years of the Lamps), would have created an Ice Age. However, many of the Umaiar, such as the Balrogs and Mairon himself, are associated with fire, and it's likely that their powers "pushed in the opposite direction," that is, "warmed" the continent and thus led to a partial "mitigation" of the climate (we're still talking about Arctic tundra not the Mediterranean). But Beleriand would still have remained extremely colder than Aman, if only for the fact that Aman has no winter. Furthermore, there was no Sun, and consequently its rays did not warm the ground (night is colder than day precisely because of the absence of sunlight).

In the Arctic regions, due to the extreme tilt of the Earth's axis and the limited solar radiation received, there are only two main seasons: "polar night" (a long, cold winter with almost total darkness) and the "midnight sun" (a short, cool summer with continuous light). Arda in ancient times is flat and sunless, so these criteria don't apply, BUT! The powers of the Ainur dictate the changes in Eä, and this means that specific Ainur bring the seasons (whether there is one per season, or some have the same job in different parts of the world, we don't know because Tolkien doesn't specify). Melkor is Winter, as noted above, and Mairon (according to my analysis that I will publish sooner or later, I swear, either separately or as part of another post) is Spring. So Beleriand DOES have an alternation of seasons, which are less differentiated than those of the Years of the Sun but still present.

Melkor's chaining and his subsequent imprisonment in Valinor would have meant that the power of Mairon and the other Ainur of Fire would have had a greater overall impact than when Melkor was present in the flesh, leading to a partial mitigation of the climate, but Beleriand in that part of the Years of the Stars would therefore still have remained colder than it will be in the Years of the Sun (by the way, I wanted to specify that I consider the formation of mountain ranges and volcanoes as "the work of Melkor" a propaganda manipulation by the Noldor, or even a mistranslation due to their cultural parameters, to magnify the figure of the "Great Dark Enemy" as the father of all that is "evil"... such as natural disasters, apparently. Instead, they were created by Mairon and the Balrogs, who are also Maiar formerly of Aulë, since Tolkien SPECIFIES that Aulë is the Vala of the Earth and "of its heart of fire". That is, magma. And therefore volcanoes are part of the Domain of Aulë, not of Melkor. End of the matter).

Doriath, protected by the Belt of Melian (which is present IMMEDIATELY with the foundation of the kingdom and not "by chance after battle x", because THERE ARE NATURAL PREDATORS AS A THREAT, TOLKIEN, FOR FUCK’S SAKE), is the most "temperate" area of ​​YoS Beleriand, which however must be considered "warm" as Denmark is "warm" compared to Siberia.

Another phenomenon that would be absent is the sea's climate mitigation: water has a very high thermal capacity; to heat or cool, it must absorb or release a lot of energy. Therefore, it takes longer to change temperature than the land, which, combined with the constant heat exchange with the air (when water is warmer than the air, it releases heat; when it is colder, it absorbs it), means that coastal areas experience warmer winters and cooler summers than continental areas. Without solar radiation, the sea would not accumulate thermal energy, and therefore the coastal and continental areas of Beleriand are equally cold.

Furthermore, other large bodies of water, such as Cuiviénen itself, unlike the sea are not even moved by currents or tides (which in the Tolkien universe would be caused by the Maiar of Ulmo rather than the Moon), making them stagnant and overloaded with cold moisture. This means they are very foggy, if not downright marshy, areas.

For life to exist, however, there must also be something counteracting entropic cooling. The most likely option is geothermal energy through a high volcanic presence, with Thangorodrim as the largest complex (yes, I know that canonically Melkor created it after returning with the Silmarils, but let's pretend it's one of the things Tolkien wrote multiple versions of. Like, he drew the mountains straighter than the African colonies' borders 💀 like wtf are those 💀💀💀), although there are others scattered across the mountain ranges across the continent, in varying states of activity. Marine volcanoes are probably also abundant, but they're too deep for their heat to reach the surface. In short, Beleriand is sort of Iceland-like, but on a continental scale.

The vast amount of heat from the subsoil would also have warmed the underground aquifers, and the underground lakes (Beleriand and Middle-earth appear to have many karst areas) would have created a sort of "thermal effect," while the surface lakes and rivers would be much colder, again due to entropic dispersion. This may be one of the main factors that drove many dwarven and elven societies (just think of Menegroth!) to develop inside caves, to protect themselves not only from predators but also from the cold, as well as have convenient and stable access to drinking water.

The animals would therefore have characteristics typical of our world polar fauna, with thick, camouflaged fur (like that of the Arctic fox, which changes color with the season), thick skin with blubber (a layer of insulating fat), and a slow metabolism, with many species hibernating during the coldest months. They would also be similar to nocturnal animals in our world, with highly developed hearing and smell, and large eyes, equipped with a tapetum lucidum and a retina rich in rod cells. Furthermore, predatory birds would have developed feathers capable of silent flight, like owls.

Almost all animals would also be gigantic in size, like the Pleistocene megafauna, according to Bergmann's law, which states that larger animals have a lower surface area/volume ratio than smaller animals, thus losing heat much more slowly (and judging by wargs and dragons, Melkor & Co. canonically have a real passion for prehistoric gigantism and things with very sharp teeth and claws, lol).

Broad, hairy paws would also be common, to distribute weight and thus be more stable on terrains like ice and snow, and since these are lands with a high water content, also large front paws for swimming (both are adaptations of the polar bear, for example).

At the base of the carnivore food chain are fish (both oceanic and riverine), most species of which are bioluminescent, and mollusks (preferably giant ones), particularly the types that anchor themselves to rocks (mussels, clams, limpets, date shells, chitons, etc.), which are also the Falathrim's main food source.

The other base of the food chain is scavengers, because if I find a dead carcass (perhaps gnawed by someone else, perhaps another animal that died of starvation), I don't have to waste energy hunting, and in extreme cold, energy conservation is VITAL. Ice and snow also slow the decomposition of carcasses, increasing the likelihood of this happening. However, opportunistic predators (wolves, foxes, seagulls, etc.) are more common than "pure scavengers" (vultures, for example).

[NB: Orcs and Lindar are also opportunistic scavengers, both of randomly found animal carcasses and of deceased members of their own species, purely out of biological instinct. The Noldor and Vanyar, however, are not, because they have a visceral reaction of disgust to the notion of cannibalism, linked to the specific survival methods of their respective species. Indeed, some animals, including humans, regardless of whether or not they have species-specific feelings of mourning and/or funerary rituals, bury their dead to avoid attracting predators. (For humans, the method of "disposal" of a corpse is influenced by culture; in addition to actual burial, there are other options such as entombment, cremation, embalming, etc. I believe that the Noldor in particular share this psycho-biological characteristic with humans.)

Therefore for Orcs and Lindar psychologically the mourning process coincides with eating the corpse. So, if the Elves are reborn with a new body when they leave Mandos, it means that the body is ultimately just an object, and (what remains of) the old one is just flesh. Furthermore, from the standpoint of the survival of the species, it is more important to nourish the living than to risk attracting other predators and/or scavengers with the smell of blood and rotting flesh.]

Fungi, especially saprophytes (i.e., necrophages and decomposers), would have proliferated for the same reason, developing in various shapes and sizes, from small clusters no larger than pennies to colossal species, towering as oak trees. Almost all of them would have exhibited total or partial natural bioluminescence: primarily high-frequency colors like blue, electric cyan (very common in deep-sea fish!), and, more rarely, dark green. This is due both to the fact that they are the simplest and most energy-efficient colors to produce via luciferin-luciferase reactions (and Nature loves to optimize energy, so the least energy-consuming option is always the most efficient, especially in such extreme environments), and because they are the colors most visible to most animal eyes, especially nocturnal ones. In fact, many fungi, in order to reproduce, attempt to attract animals by producing chemical odors similar to floral scents and/or edible regenerative parts. This allows the spores to fall by moving the hair or special filaments, being carried by the wind, and/or attaching to the animals' fur.

Some fungi may exhibit violet, red-fuchsia, or white bioluminescence, but these are small species that seek to attract a niche of specific animals. These frequencies have a higher energy cost, either because they are located at extremes in the spectrum (violet, red), or because they require different pigments to be produced (white, fuchsia, pink), making them less convenient.

About the plants, the lack of sun would make them very alien to what we know, given that our star has been a constant in our world. First of all, plants would not be green: chlorophyll is that color because it primarily absorbs the blue and red wavelengths of the solar spectrum, while reflecting green light. However, the sun is absent, and so photosynthesis must be maximized from available sources. That of stars is minimal, almost imperceptible, so the primary source is fungal bioluminescence, and chlorophyll would specialize in absorbing those high frequencies. Leaves would be various shades of red, orange, and, more rarely, yellow or black.

Flowering plants would have been less common than in our world, while anemophilous (wind-pollinated) plants, such as conifers, and those that reproduce through spores (algae, mosses, ferns), would have dominated. The flowers would have characteristics common to nyctophilous (night-blooming) flowers: light and/or pastel colors, a sweet and intense scent, large size, and a tubular or very open shape. "Wild" flowers, those that grow directly from the ground, would be present only in warmer areas, where the snow gives way to bare soil and therefore grass (also reddish in color).

Despite the harsh climate, Beleriand would be extremely fertile, and its trees would be characterized by thick, very deep roots to extract nutrients from the soil. Volcanic soils are rich in essential minerals, released by lava and ash, which improve soil structure, increase the availability of nutrients (nitrogen, sulfur, microelements), and create an optimal environment for plants. Volcanic ash also makes the soil more aerated, draining, and capable of retaining water, while pH and microbial activity can help reduce acidity and promote the activity of beneficial bacteria, improving the mineralization and humification of organic matter.

All trees would have developed characteristics similar to those of evergreens (well, "evereds" in this case, lol), namely slow leaf turnover, with tough, leathery, and/or needle-like leaves to better withstand cold and drought, with cells featuring thickened lymph vessels and very robust tissues. However, there would still be significant differentiation. While, as mentioned, trees in cold, dry environments (such as the vast frozen plains of the north and the areas around Utumno and then Angband) would be little different from the conifers of our world, in more humid and "warm" environments, such as river and lake areas, they would have developed characteristics such as robust stems, woody at the base, often lanceolate leaves with stomata and trichomes (small hair-like or crystal-like growths, which serve crucial functions of protection from predators, UV rays, and stress, and produce useful compounds such as resins, essential oils, cannabinoids, and terpenes), and, of course, waterproof roots or at least ones with a very high tolerance for water. Aquatic plants, such as floating, lacustrine, or submerged plants could also be present (the latter, perhaps because they are closer to the heat source, could be incredibly widespread!). However, precisely because of this continuous contact with water, aquatic and semi-aquatic plants must have elastic and heat-insulating tissues, so that the leaves and trunk do not explode due to the increase in volume caused by the freezed water, thus leading to the death of the plant itself.

But the most widespread organism would be lichens, which are everywhere in our world: from tundra to desert, from mountains to city walls. Where nothing else reaches, lichens survive. The most notable feature of Beleriand would therefore be this: immense expanses of lichen, stretching as far as the eye can see over the rocks on the shoreline, the interiors of caves, around the craters of volcanoes, and covering the bare earth instead of meadows.

[i-support-celeborn-wrongs]

"I support Celeborn's wrongs" --- *what* Celeborn's wrongs, exactly? He did nothing wrong.

...either there's something I don't know or you spelled "Celegorm" wrong.

[/hj, feel free to just talk about how cool he is or whatever as the answer]

Hi! No, no, I actually meant Celeborn, and no, he didn't do anything wrong in canon (well, no more than your average non-Feänorian elven military commander, anyway).

The thing is, I'm working on a postcolonial AU/reinterpretation of The Silmarillion called "The Blood Behind My Smile", which starts from the canonical assumption that The Silmarillion was written by the Noldor (hi Pengolodh!), and therefore theirs are the only historical sources and therefore not completely reliable. It's first an analysis/reflection on how much of what's written there is actually just propaganda (not necessarily malicious, even just the product of their cultural lens, which is never objective), and then how this translates in the narrative. One of the founding characteristics of this AU is a more pagan mythology, in which the Ainur are actually deities and don't have a good/evil morality (but it's Eru who forces them in those boxes, long story), and that consequently there isn't a struggle between Good and Evil, but rather the Noldor who used religion (often truly believing in their ideals) to justify their colonialism and their acts of violence against other peoples.

I'm trying to be more realistic tahn Tolkien about the social and political dynamics, but at the same time I try not to demonize any people (no, not even the Noldor) because that would go against the basic principle of this rewrite. This is therefore a Silmarillion AU on a much grayer moral level, where some people's heroes can be others' monsters and viceversa, and where every civilization has its darker sides and its brighter sides, just like in the real world (yes, I'm studying anthropology in high school, lol. It's a really cool subject, I wish it were more popular).

Celeborn, Annatar/Mairon, and Maeglin are some of the main characters in what I've written so far (though I haven't published anything yet, aside from a few small analyses on Tumblr. I actually have a dedicated side blog, called the-umaiar-side-has-choco, though so far they're just reblogs from the main). Mairon because he represents the Rebels against Eru (the Umaiar), Maeglin (and Eöl) because he represents the Dark Elves (the Avari), and Celeborn because he represents the Grey Elves (the Sindar), both in terms of their personal evolution and their relationship with the Noldor. Celebrimbor is my main Noldor POV because this project started as a Silvergifting long-fic before going completely off the rails lol.

For example, among the things I think Tolkien swept under the rug are the social consequences of the Kinslayings. In the Second and Third Ages, the Sindar and the Noldor (the Avari are not found, as usual) seem to get along relatively well, if you exclude the "isolationism" of Oropher and then Thranduil (which also seems to be criticized, for some reason. I don't know, if a group of people had massacred my family and friends and then not even apologized, I wouldn't be very keen to see them either). Which is... strange, considering that many of the survivors and relatives of the victims are still alive. There should be some social tensions, at the very least.

It also doesn't help that the soldiers of the Sons of Feänor, who evidently took part in the massacres, were not punished. Maedhros has thrown himself into a fiery pit and Maglor in theory is wandering the beaches mourning (which in itself is a fucking weird narrative choice like "oh let me sing laments about how sad I am becouse I have committed atrocities for an Oath that no one forced me to take but which I actually chose to renew after having already seen the consequences and which could have had a thousand other solutions before opting to massacre innocents BUT I'm not doing ANYTHING CONCRETE to actually make amends with the people I hurt"), the other five died in battle, but what about their soldiers? They clearly had armies loyal to them and it's not like that loyalty simply disappeared with the death of their Lords. Yet there was no Public Trial, or an Apology Campaign or Social Volunteerism. The Valar are said to have "forgiven the Noldor and lifted their exile", but this means nothing to the Sindar. AND STILL THE NOLNOR ARE NOT RETURNING TO AMAN. They've been given the equivalent of a slap on the wrist for SYSTEMATIC MASSACRES, and they also have the AUDACITY to REFUSE??? Becouse what? Becouse they """love Middle-Earth"""??? Is that why Celebrimbor is TEXTUALLY trying to MAKE IT LIKE AMAN??? IF YOU WANT AMAN JUST FUCKING GO BACK TO IT. YOU CAN. THE GODS FORGAVE YOU. (Which itself sounds less like an actual forgiving and more like a "MA PORCA PUTTANA TROIA TO MARE IN CARIOLA ARRUGGINITA, stop messing around and fuck shit up. Come back here so you can't kill anything anymore, thanks. You're lacky Eru said we can't force you BECOUSE IF WE COULD-". But more poetically put, becouse the Valar ✨ can't hurt the Children of Illuvatar unless they want to Fall✨. And that's includes being mean. Or being mad.).

Middle-Earth is NOT like Aman, it holds a differnt kind of beauty. And that beauty is deeply routed in its possibility to change (which I think derives a lot from the powers of Melkor himself, combined with those of Mairon). The Noldor don't actually love Middle-Earth if they can't accept this.

Oh no wait, it's explicitly said that Galadriel didn't want to return because in Middle-earth she was among the most powerful and eldest of the Elves, while in Aman she would only have been one of Finarfin's children. That's the answer, folks. POWER.

Not to mention that most of the positions of power seem to be held by the Noldor, and even when the Sindar do hold power, they always seem a little more shaky than those of their cousins: the most obvious example is Celebrimbor taking power in Eregion even though Celeborn was technically still there. But since Galadriel (i.e., the Noldor power of the couple) is gone, then the shift in power has indeed occurred and is publicly and politically recognized.

In the TBBMS AU, however, socio-political tensions are definitely there, even if they aren't always so visible. And the Celeborn in my AU is much angrier than his canon counterpart (who's already not the most easygoing person in canon, eh), even if he doesn't express it freely because ✨diplomacy requires calm, baby✨. Furthermore, politics are much more complicated than in canon, and Celeborn is involved in many intrigues: for example, there's an entire parallel trade network involving the native peoples of Beleriand, and both Mirkwood, the Avari tribes and Mordor are ivolved (yes, I go with the Orcs being another species of elves, but not recognized as such by the Noldor... which is extra ironic becouse the Orcs descends specifically from the Noldor in this AU. It's just that in Cuiviénen Era Melkor saw them lost on the plain heading towards his territories and decided to press the acceleration button for their evolution. Also yeah the three, now four, elven races are actually different species.), while the Noldor are completely unaware of. No, not even Galadriel, because although they love each other vey very very much, their marriage Is complicated, they are both morally grey and also not politically aligned. He keeps many secrets from her. Oh, by the way, Galadriel is a religiously orthodox Noldo (I really hope this sentence has the same meaning in English as in Italian. "Orthodox" in Italian means: marked by the complete acceptance of a doctrine that is not necessarily religious, but of a dogmatic nature, or by conformity with it. No, in this context it has nothing to do with Orthodox Christians.), while Celeborn is a "heretic" who still believes in the religious practices of pre-Noldor Old Beleriand (and there would be a whole religious worldbuilding here, but it would deserve a meta post of its own). Yes they have the same phanteon (the Ainur). Yes, they pray to them in different ways. Yes, THIS IS A HUGE FUCKING PROBLEM. Why? Well, the short answer is... the entire religious history of Europe after the Protestant Schism. To add fuel to the fire, Celeborn had and still has a high political-religious position in the aforementioned cults, such as High Priest (because Doriath was practically a theocracy. Like, the king marries a "minor" deity and is recognized as a moral authority throughout Beleriand and you mean to tell me that this DOESN'T have a translation into the religious politics of the entire continent? Babe, be serious). The ceremonies and rituals are done clandestinely (btw Daeron is alive and involved, and they are very gay for each other). If the Noldor find out, Celeborn is absolutely ✨fucked✨.

Also for this reason, when Annatar arrives in Eregion, Galadriel has the canonical reaction "he is an Umaia, he has evil intentions, don't trust him!" (which she REALLY believes, she genuinally believes that Annatar will harm the people she loves), while Mairon and Celeborn look at each other like 👀👀👀👀👀

(C:"Your Dark Majesty, would you like some offerings?" M:"Oh? For me? Such polite and respectful cute little elves. Offerings are welcome. I was searching for blood to placate my pain but you know what, I think I'll bless your crops instead :)")

Another very important part of the TBBMS AU is that pre-Noldor Beleriand has very strong Bronze Age vibes, and so I tried to convey this feeling in my cultural worldbuilding as well. Celeborn therefore did numerous things that in his historical and cultural context of the time were perfectly normal and justified, but which to a modern reader or even in post-Noldor Beleriand/SA Middle-Earth seem atrocities (for example: burning the severed heads of his enemies on an altar to try to gain favor with the gods and cursing their spirits into his familiars for centuries).

Also, he was a berserker. His war name was Heart-Devourer. No, I won't elaborate further on that.

So yeah, my Celeborn did a lot of things that weren't exactly Good Guy™ things.

That said, if Celeborn were to decide to throw a chair at the teeth of one of the Noldor advisors/politicians, both in canon and in the AU, he would have my full support. This is what my username means, but yeah, out of context must sound absolutely wild lol.

And last but not least: I hope you who asked and anyone reading this, have a good day. If its not going well, I hope it gets better soon. <3

[i-support-celeborn-wrongs]

At the end of the day, a demon is just an angel who can spit in the face of the God who failed them.

[i-support-celeborn-wrongs]

About Thingol, the Quenya ban, and the Noldor Imperialism

Or "I can't believe I actually have to say this, but here we are."

I remember recently reading a post where they called Thingol a colonizer for banning the Noldor to speak Quenya and I just- 💀

THINGOL. THE NATIVE KING. 💀💀💀💀💀💀

Now lets start from defining what's colonialism, or better yet imperialism, is. Imperialism is the ruling policy of establishing and enforcing the rule of a nation on outside peoples or countries through colonization, use of military force, or other means. And it is usually associated with extreme nationalism, fascist ideologies, and theories of racial hierarchies and superior cultures.

Now:

- Who is it who leaves their own continent to land on another? The Noldor.

- Who is it who appropriated the means to cross the distance between said continents by using violence against another people? The Noldor.

- Who is it who planned to obtain revenge and glory and establish their own kingdoms on lands they conveniently ignored were already inhabited? The Noldor.

- Who, according to Tolkien himself, writes the ONLY historical sources in-universe and can therefore manipulate the description of events to their advantage? The Noldor.

- Who writes that they were the greatest craftsmen, artists, poets, warriors, etc. (so basically the greatest culture)? The Noldor.

- Who structured an entire system of spiritual and cultural hierarchy based on who had seen the Light of the Two Trees (and thus received "divine enlightenment"), and then COINCIDENTALLY called themselves Light Elves and the native inhabitants of those lands Dark Elves? The Noldor.

- Who is it that called themselves "The Skilled Ones" and the other peoples "The Beautiful Ones" and "The Ones who arrived last" (Becouse *yes*, for those who didn't know, *that* is what the names Noldor, Vanyar, and Teleri respectively mean. And yes, they are in *Quenya*.)? The Noldor.

- Who justified their war by saying it was for "the greater cause" and "to cleanse the land of Evil"? The Noldor.

- Who called an entire race soulless, abominable monsters and then essentially began a genocidal operation against them? The Noldor.

- Who claims that without their military aid the peoples of Beleriand would have been defenseless against Morgoth? The Noldor.

- Who is it who used violence, threats, and massacres to obtain what they wanted from other peoples? The Noldor.

- Who, on the other hand, never left their continent, founded kingdoms and other state structures that preceded the return of the Noldor by millennia, and were victims of their systematic massacres and violence? The Sindar, the Avari and the Orcs.

In the Of the Sindar chapter it is written:

"Then Thingol spoke in anger to those who stood before him, saying: 'Never again in my ears shall be heard the tongue of those who slew my kin at Alqualondë! Nor in all my realm shall it be openly spoken while my power endures! All the Sindar shall hear my command, that they speak now the tongue of Beleriand, and let all tongues of the Elves be heard only in secret if they be not of that land."

Folks. Folks. The ban on Quenya applies only to the Sindar, and only within the borders of Doriath. The Noldor can speak whatever the fuck they want among themselves.

Thingol did not impose a death penalty. He did not say that anyone who speaks Quenya would be thrown into prison. He did not say that every Tengwar writing containing Quenya words should be burned. He did not forbid the Noldor from telling their stories and their versions of events. He did not say, "Do not speak it even within the walls of your houses." Because THAT would have been linguistic and cultural oppression. No, he simply said, "Do not speak in public the language of those who killed our kin, and then used that language to lie to us."

He didn't kick the Noldor out of the borders of Doriath. He did not raise swords against them. No, he chose NEUTRALITY.

And this is after Thingol fouds out that the Noldor LIED to him and his people hide from him the fact that they SLAUGHTERED HIS BROTHER AND HIS PEOPLE BECOUSE THEY COULDN'T TAKE A FUCKING NO. That's a fully legit causus belli, they should be THANKFUL that Thingol didn't declare war immediately. Real-life wars started for less. Neutrality is a fucking MERCY and they honestly did't deserve it.

And istead they even have the AUDACITY to complain that Thingol didn't send rinforces fot the Nirnaeth Arnoediad. After Celegorm and Curufin TRIED TO RAPE HIS DAUGHTER (causus belli n°2).

Now, I usually would quote the original English texts, but since it's copyrighted, it's not always available online. So I re-translated the Italian translation into English:

"Now Celegorm and Curufin knew of Lúthien's flight, and they hunted her down, and took her and brought her to Nargothrond, and there they held her prisoner, saying that they would protect her, but with the intent of forcing Thingol to give his consent to a marriage between Lúthien and Celegorm."

("Ora Celegorm e Curufin erano a conoscenza della fuga di Lúthien, e le diedero la caccia, prendendola e portandola a Nargothrond, e lì la tennero prigioniera, dicendo di volerla proteggere, ma con l'intento di costringere Thingol a dare il proprio assenso a un matrimonio tra Lúthien e Celegorm.")

And

"At that time Celegorm sent messages to Thingol, saying that if he wished to see his daughter again, he must consent to her marriage to Celegorm. And if he refused, he would earn the disapproval of the sons of Fëanor."

("In quel tempo Celegorm mandò messaggi a Thingol, dicendo che se voleva vedere ancora sua figlia, avrebbe dovuto acconsentire al matrimonio tra lei e Celegorm. E se rifiutava, avrebbe guadagnato la disapprovazione dei figli di Fëanor.")

And for those who argue that Celegorm wanted to marry Lúthien for political reasons, they're right. But the fact remains that for Tolkien, Elven marriage is sealed with sexual intercourse, as the two souls are bound in the act. So yes, "forced marriage" literally means rape, folks. And nothing, not even the supposed "uniting for the greater good and the salvation of the peoples of Beleriand" can justify the fact that LÚTHIEN DID NOT CONSENT.

Marriage between heirs (or members) of two royal/noble houses has been used as a means of political and military alliance throughout history, it is true, but forming an alliance requires *both* parties to agree, and neither Lúthien (as a person) nor Thingol (as father and ruler), nor even the people of Doriath, would ever have agreed after such an act.

An alliance is built by treating the other as an *equal*. Threatening another kingdom is not an alliance, but *coercion* at best and war declaration at worst. It conceals the idea that you see them as inferiorior, and that your intention is to conquer and/or subjugate them to your own power. And if Celegorm and Curufin really didn't realize this (I doubt it), or if they knew it and decided to do it anyway because they thought themselves above the possible consequences (more likely), then it says a lot about the Noldor's sense of self-entitlement and their political blindness.

And what do they get after that? Nothing. They weren't stripped of their titles, they weren't exiled from the lands of the Noldor, they weren't abandoned by their armies (well, Curufin was disowned by his own son, and that's a big W for Tyelpë).

Maedhros should have subjected them to a trial, a tribunal, or whatever Tolkien's Elves have for justice. Instead, they rode alongside him in the Second Kinslaying. He should have sent a formal apology to Doriath and asked what they wanted in reparations. And then, and only then, maybe he should have asked for an alliance. And even in the case Thingol said no, he thanks him for his patience anyway and then apologize again. But Maedhros didn't do amy of that, and that speaks volumes about his sense of self-entitlement and political blindness.

Actually, scratch that, Maedhros shouldn't have gone alone. Maedhros should have gone as "leader" of the Feänorian House, and Fingon should have gone with him, because, well, THE DIPLOMATIC SITUATION WAS SHITTY ENOUGH TO REQUIRE THE PRESENCE OF THE HIGH KING OF THE NOLDOR HIMSELF. But obviously that didn't happen.

And let's be honest, if Tolkien hadn't been (unknowingly) biased towards his own characters, Melian herself would have torn the Noldor to shreds for what they did to her daughter. She is a goddess of nature, let her use the bodies of her enemies as fertilizer for her forest. Let the Noldor GET CONSEQUENCES FROM THEIR VICTIMS for once.

And even if Tolkien probably didn't intend to write as such (because again he was not interested in writing politics but in writing a myth), the Quenya ban is and absolute POWER MOVE:

- It shows the Noldor the potential military power of Doriath becouse everyone who obeys the ban is a potential soldier on Doriath and its allies' ranks

- It shows the Noldor Doriath soft power becouse their allies will do the same even if not obliged, and demonstrates how far Thingol's influence spreads

- It doesn't forces the Noldor to stop speaking Quenya, but it forces them to learn Sindarin becouse it will be the only langauge they will be spoken to

Because let's be honest, the only reason Sindarin is still spoken in the Third Age is thanks to Thingol's ban on Quenya, because the Noldor don't seem to have made any effort to learn Nandorin, Avarin, or (gasp! how I dare to even think of it!) Black Speech.

Thingol is not perfect, nor a saint. But is also not the cruel, hearthless evil monster some fanon interpretations make him to be. He wasn't a perfect father, but he was a GOOD father. He wasn't a perfect king, but he was a GOOD king. He admits his mistakes and learn from them, as he demonstrated by accepting Beren in the end and by adopting Túrin. He is a king who chose to preserve the lives of his people by the most peaceful means possible in a world where everyone else was running around causing bloodshed. And he sure as hell seems to be the only king of the First Age who understands how basic politics and diplomacy works.

[i-support-celeborn-wrongs]

About Maeglin and colonial stereotypes

I'm a (relatively) new Tolkien fan, and as much as I love his work, one thing that infuriates me is that of all the possible reasons he could have written, CHOSE to write that Maeglin became evil because "Idril didn't love him back and therefore was a jealous incel" (wtf).

Wait, actually not, It actually says that he was born evil:

“Yet in all that he did he had no love of others, nor cared he ever for any save himself; and it seemed to many that some darkness lay upon him from his birth.” (Silmarillion, Of Maeglin).

Tolkien, are you sure you're Catholic and not Calvinist??? (With all due respect to Calvinists, whose faith I don’t know well enough to presume to judge in any way, and wouldn’t even if I did, because people’s faith is a personal matter. I just wanted to point out that this choice represents a determinist philosophical dynamic that does not belong to the Catholicism, the faith to which Tolkien believed and whose morals tried to insert into his work.)

And he didn't chose to write he betrayed Gondolin becouse of, I don't know, some legitimate reason to be mad that NARRATIVELY HE HAD, like the fact that THEY THREW HIS FATHER OFF A CLIFF IN FRONT OF HIS EYES WHILE HE WAS STILL A BOY. And then HE WAS ADOPTED BY THE SAME ELF WHO ORDERED HIM TO BE EXECUTED. And he can't even leave the city because THERE'S A DEATH PENALTY (which is what drove his father mad in the first place).

Oh no, wait, those reasons are not valid because his father was the violent DARK ELF who kidnapped and raped the WHITE LADY of the Noldor, and therefore Turgon is a hero for saving his sister and nephew by EXECUTING A MAN WITHOUT TRIAL. And then the MIXED SON became an ungrateful traitor to the city that had welcomed him because "he was very much like his father".

...

...

...

TOLKIEN WHAT THE FU- (colonial propagandistic historiography 101).

Not to mention that in The Book of Lost Tales, Part Two, it is said about Maglin (Maeglin): "Less fair was he than most of these goodly folk, swart and of none too kindly mood, so that he won little love, and whispers there were that he had Orc's blood in his veins, but I know not how this could be true." And so here too we have that the mixed son is:

uglish

dark-skinned (and therefore voluntarily or unintentionally connected to the previous point)

sullen and hostile

disliked by the other citizens

And, of course, "he's said to have Orc blood." IT IS SAID. People whisper and speculate about Maeglin's ancestry to justify his being "different." And needless to say, in real-world contexts, "rumors" quickly devolve into "things said to one's face," and thus into daily verbal microaggressions. Then in the published Silmarillion, his skin color was changed to "pale" and it was said that he "resembled the Noldor in appearance," but all the racialized subtext remained (cough cough Dark Elf ).

Now, I'd like to pause and point out that in European literature, "pale" isn't a neutral term. Considering that all characters in ancient and medieval literature are white (with the possible exception of Mediterranean environments where people came into contact with Africa and Asia through travel and trade), there was still a "color coding" to signal status, and at the time, status meant morality (because heroes were always kings, princes, nobles, demigods, etc.). Lighter skin tone symbolizes wealth and beauty, whereas the common people would have been tanned from working in the fields (consider that the population, even after the rebirth of cities, was AT LEAST 70% farmers). Considering that the epic romance of chivalry originated in France, the rest of European literature followed suit and used French characteristics and... *Poof*! Thus was born the cliché of the pure, blond, handsome, tall hero/lady with very pale skin and blue eyes. Does this remind you of anyone? Exactly. Glorfindel. Finrod. Galadriel. Eärendil. Idril. TUOR.

But precisely because they all have similar traits, all European languages play with synonyms to convey a message and/or a specific characterization through symbolism. In English it's perhaps more subtle because "pale" is still used, but note how the term "fair" is preferred. In Italian, however, heroes' skin is described as "candida" (which has a very strong moral connotation, meaning "immaculate white" and is metaphorically associated with good souls), "chiara" ("light tone"), or, if we're feeling particularly poetic, "nevina" ("like snow"), "marmorea" ("like marble") or "d'alabastro" ("like alabaster"). But not "pallida" (pale)."

"Pallida" literally means "affected by pallor," meaning with little blood, i.e., sick. And so it's also symbolically associated with a character who is slimy, evil, treacherous, weak, deceitful, and/or ambitious for the sake of power. In literature, to be pale are traditionally are the evil advisor and the uncle who wants to usurp the throne of his brother the king, and therefore the fratricidal one, because the three roles often overlap. Some examples of this type of character are Wormtongue in The Lord of the Rings and... Maeglin himself (and no surprise, becouse the two follow the same archetype).

As a woman, I appreciate that Tolkien wrote a story in which the abuser and the creep are punished and the woman isn't blamed in any way, because that's rare even in modern literature (cough cough dark romance novels). But I don't accept that to do so he filled his story with racist and colonial stereotypes that still today cause social tensions and have repercussion on people lives. I personally don't think that that was Tolkien intention, becouse he was a man born in a time, in a culture and in a social status when this type of narrative was EVERYWHERE and he maybe couldn't fully recognize the impact it could have on other people. But the modern reader can and SHOULD recognize it.

And this situation could have been avoided if the character coded as the rapist and abuser and the creep/stalker had been LITERALLY ANYONE OTHER than the only named Avarin and his bastard son (because let's remember that since technically Turgon and/or Fingolfin didn't approve of Eöl and Aredhel's marriage, and therefore said marriage is invalid by the Noldor's logic). And it could have been avoided if Maeglin hadn't been coded as "the dangerous outsider" and Tuor as "the good outsider."

Just imagine what kind of story it would have been if Idril's stalker had been any of the other Lords of Gondolin. Opportunities to discuss the Noldor's internalized misogyny, their sense of self-entitlement wich made them act that everything is theirs, their presumption that they are the center of the world. But this would have ruined the image of the Noldor as "heroes" (after they literally committed a massacre before even setting out on their holy war... okay, John), as "bearers of civilization, wisdom, and knowledge of Aman," as "saviors of the defenseless peoples threatened by the evil Morgoth." So it's up to the native's son.

Or better yet, imagine what it might have been like if the Fall of Gondolin had been caused by "Maeglin gets tortured and then commits treason and attempted rape + attempted infanticide" and instead "Maeglin goes of his own volition to the tutelary deities of the local peoples and leads a charge in which THEY BURN THE COLONIAL CITY TO TAKE BACK THEIR LANDS "🔥🔥🔥