“ i don’t want us to be strangers again . ” (miyul)
it’s a moment of rest after a long day, filled with negotiations that didn’t go that well. at times like this, when mijun feels the weight of the responsibilities on his shoulders, when the steps they take end up in failure over and over again — he quietens down. it’s an instinct, how he pulls into himself, mulls over things he should have done differently, approached the other party in another way. yul’s attempts at conversation die down when there is little reply coming from mijun’s side, and when they are upstairs, he tells him that he can wash up first.
while yul is in the bathroom, he finds himself at the balcony, leaning against the railing, eyes looking at the sky. it’s hard to wrap his mind around how things have changed so quickly, and sometimes, he misses simpler times. back at the clan, everything he had to do was drawn out for him; training, hunting, joining meetings, listening to dad. the last thought stings a little, and even though he misses those times- there is someone else, and the reminder of him, fills him guilt for even thinking of such thing. although the future is filled with doubt, the person he’s in this journey with makes it impossible not to enjoy it.
in his mind, when he closes his eyelids, there is that flash of a smile, the younger’s soft laughter echoing in his ears. all the cute little gestures, the way his nose scrunches a little in thought, how his cheeks flush red when mijun does something unexpected, opens up and tells the truth of how amazing yul is. thinking of him, being near him makes mijun’s chest fill with warmth, and although he tried to run away from it at first, he knows it’s impossible now. dongyul, more than a friend, more than just a companion- has carved a space in his heart, one that he slowly realizes what it actually is.
he hangs his head low between his shoulders as thoughts swirl around in his mind. he doesn’t even hear the footsteps approaching him, joining him at the balcony. only when the other’s next to him, mijun realizes, takes a step back to look up at him. dongyul looks even more beautiful in the moonlight, hair newly washed, skin soft. mijun has the impulsive urge to reach out and touch, but he stops himself. because the younger still looks tired, the shower seems to have taken away some of the exhaustion, but mijun can see something is bothering him still, eating him from the inside. has he been like this all day long? while mijun was too in his own head, thinking about the meeting, could he not have noticed? he can’t be sure, but there is a frown on his lips as he asks what’s wrong, words filled with worry.
what dongyul says next, it makes mijun’s breath hitch, the frown on his face growing deeper. the guilt follows in its wake, that he has been pushing yul away these few days, this past week, maybe more, simply by not opening up. it’s ironic how he feels much closer to him, though has failed to show it to the younger. it’s not fair to yul at all, and he knows he has to do better. “i- i’m sorry, yul-” is all he can say, one hand reaching out to hold the other’s in his palm, squeezing it tight for a minute as he fights to find the right words. should he apologize? tell everything in his mind, the good and the bad? then again, it doesn’t seem fair to just put that much burden on yul, so instead, rather than fighting the urge, his other hand reaches up to yul’s face.
the touch is tentative, gentle, as if yul might break apart by his touch. but he can’t stop himself, doesn’t want to— wants to hold him close as he makes this promise, so that yul will know he will never back away from it. “i- i know i’m difficult to handle, and i… tend to close up. but i promise you, i’ll do better. y- you mean a lot to me and…” it’s hard to open up like this, for mijun has never been good with words. but seeing yul, hurt by his own actions, he knows he has to do, no matter how hard it is. “we will never be strangers again. i promise you that.” and mijun takes a deep breath before uttering the next words, a somewhat nervous smile on his face, though what he says is completely true. “it’s impossible at this point, believe me. you’re in my heart now, and i’m not letting you go.”
