#thanatophobic

[corycries]

Thanatophobic (1)

-Word Count: 855 (I’m sorry it’s so short, hopefully, the next one will be longer)

–Genre: yandere

—Warnings: This story contains; mature language, obsessive behaviors, unhealthy relationships, gore, death, etc.

—-Pairings:  BTS members x reader

——Summary: You just wanted to live, to escape the creatures that killed your parents, but somehow, you’ve ended up trapped with an even worse another group of monsters, who will do anything to make sure you’re theirs.

[teaser]

You froze in shock as the man’s body fell onto the floor in front of you. The loud thud was followed by complete silence. He was dead...

“C’mon, we need to go now.” You looked up to meet an unfamiliar man. His face was hidden by the black mask he wore and his dirty, unkempt black lock. His clothes were old and worn out. His overall appearance sent a chill down your spine.

You didn’t know whether to feel grateful he saved you, or to be scared that he this man just murdered someone. When he began to walk over to you, you didn’t try to move away from him. He grabbed onto your arm tightly.

“We need to go now. I mean unless you want to stay here and die...” His eyes looked cold and his tone held a sense of urgency. You gulped.

“Uh...” He shook his head, seeming somewhat disappointed, and began pulling you by the arm, outside of the rundown house. “Wait!” He stopped and looked back at you. “Can I at least know your name before you drag me off to who knows where?” He rolled his eyes.

“I’m Seokjin.” He paused. “Look, I wanted to help you out, but I’m not going to get myself killed because of you, so let's hurry.” You hurriedly nodded, not liking the idea of being killed, and he began to continue pulling you off somewhere.

It seemed like you had been walking for hours. Your legs began to ache from traveling such a long distance, but Seokjin didn’t look tired at all, he was too focused on getting to this place (which he still hasn’t told you the location of). Honestly, you wouldn’t be surprised if you were getting taken to some warehouse to be killed and then looted for what little items you have on you.

You were pouting to yourself about how long until you’ll actually reach your destination when you thought of something.

“Wait, why were you even at that house, again?” He suddenly came to a halt, making you bump into his back and almost fall onto your butt. You groaned from the impact. He turned around to face you, and even though he was wearing a mask, you could still see his face was a shade of red.

“I was just-- I was passing by when I saw that guy cornering you from a window” He averted his eyes from yours. That might be true, but you weren’t naive enough to not notice how suspicious he was behaving.

“Oh, Okay...” He turned back around. and pretended like him being flustered never even happened.

"We should hurry up. We're almost there."

"What is this place?" You asked, in gawking at the view. He closed the black, metal gate behind you. He smiled as he adjusted the strap of his backpack on his shoulder.

"What else would it be, it's my house."

You turned around to look at him in disbelief. "Your house? This place looks like a prison." He chuckled, but you were being completely serious. It might have been a normal place at one point but now it's completely fortified, from the tall and heavy gate you had to just walk through to the windows which were all boarded up.

"Well, I just want to make sure nothing happens. Dieing isn't really my goal." You let out a slight laugh, not really wanting to think about that.

"I guess so." Jin opened the front door of the house and gestured for you to walk in. He followed you in and locked the door behind you.

"You're going to be here for a while, so I better give you a tour of the place." You raised an eyebrow at what he'd said. You just met the guy, and he expected you to stay with him. I guess he did save your life, so he had to be somewhat trustworthy? Plus, you did need a place to stay... "You comin'?" You looked back up to see Jin's head poking from the hallway. You blinked a few times as you started paying attention again.

"Yeah, wait up!"

"And this, this is the room you'll be staying in. I hope it's okay." Jin walked into a very basic room with the basic necessities for a bedroom, the only thing really standing out was the blue painted walls. "It's not much but it's the closest room to mine."

"Wait, why does my room have to be close to yours?" Jin immediately looked flustered again.

"Uh, well--" Before he could continue on with his sentence, it seemed like a  loud banging noise from outside saved him from answering. Jin's face hardened at the unknown noise. "What the hell?" He hurriedly went to go see what happened, not giving you much time to follow.

You ran after him to see Jin standing in front of an open door. You slowly walked up behind him to see what he was looking at. Your eyes widened and your mouth hung open. "Oh my god! What happened to you?"

[corycries]

Thanatophobic (Teaser)

-Word Count: 205

--Genre: yandere

---Warnings: This story contains; mature language, obsessive behaviors, unhealthy relationships, gore, death, etc.

----Pairings:  BTS members x reader

------Summary: You just wanted to live, to escape the creatures that killed your parents, but somehow, you’ve ended up trapped with an even worse another group of monsters, who will do anything to make sure you’re theirs.

[one]

You slowly moved backward, your eyes widened even more once you felt your back touch the cold wall. You held up your hands as a gesture of surrendering. “Hold up! I was just looking around. That was it, I swear! I didn’t know anyone lived here.”The man growled at you, almost animalistic like, as he continued to walk closer until he was right in front of your face. He held his knife, that was already covered in dry blood, up to your neck. You looked down and saw his tight grip on the handle of the weapon. You knew you were dead, but you still begged. “Please don’t kill me! I was just scoping out the place. I wanted somewhere to hide from those- those monsters.”For a second you had thought you actually convinced him to let you go, but then he pressed the blade harder against your skin. You winced as it cut you slightly. You could already feel some blood running down your skin. You decided to stop talking, not wanting to take the risk of getting a worse injury. The man opened his mouth, about to say something, when a loud bang resonated throughout the room, making your ears ring. 

I finally changed the name. I like this a whole lot better than what it used to be.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the little teaser thing. The first actual chapter of it should be posted either today or in a few more days, but it might be delayed again? Hopefully not. Oh, and btw, I was thinking of doing a tag list thingy? So, if you wanna be a part of that, comment. ♥

[israelmekaniko]

THE LAST DIARY NG TAKOT SA DEXTROS AT INJECTION

Ayoko ng amoy ospital. Ayoko ng amoy alcohol. Ayokong maglakad sa hallway. Ayokong makakita ng pasyenteng naka dextros. Parang magkakasakit ako. Ayokong makakita ng nurse. Ayokong makakita ng mga taong hirap na hirap sa trabaho pero ang liit naman ng sweldo o minsan wala talagang sweldo tapos para sa iba katulong lang ang tingin sa kanila. Ayoko makakita ng mga pasyenteng isinusugod sa emergency room. Ng mga kamag anak ng pasyenteng nag aabang sa pinto ng operating room. Yung mga taong doon na kumakain ng malamig na kanin at pang ulam sa hagdan dahil walang pambayad ng kwarto. Yung doon na natutulog sa sulok dahil bawal pumasok sa ICU. Yung mga taong nasa harap ng cashier at naglalabas ng pambayad. Yung pilit kinakapa ang bulsa baka sakaling may naiwan pang barya. Ayokong makarinig ng hagulhol. Ayokong makarinig ng iyak. Ayokong makakita ng malungkot na mukha. Yung mga matang konti na lang bigla na lang tutulo ang luha pero wala ka namang ibang magawa. Dahil parang alam kong may nangyaring hindi maganda. Ayoko na ulit pumasok sa ospital. Dahil dito ka huhusgahan kung magtatagal ka pa o patuloy kang mabubuhay. At dahil alam kong sa huli, dito din ako mawawalan ng buhay.

[arazininthesun]

Coping with Existence

I woke about a week ago and breathed in air, inhaling oxygen as if it were for the first time and I had just burst forth from the death of pre-life into consciousness. And that was because, that day, I would be awakened to the most amazing, profoundly simple, simply profound epiphany I have ever had. I was, and am, alive. Somehow, it was like I had forgotten. I went out and did my routines, with all the laughter, happiness, sadness, and anger as anyone else may have. But then I realized I existed, I was alive, and that was a realization so powerful it was almost painful in its implications. One day, I lived, I existed, and one day I would not. All consciousness and feeling would leave this mortal coil and it would be nothing more than a husk for all eternity. And that terrified me, more than anything I have ever felt. The inevitability of it all, the permanent-ness, the sense of forever. Try to imagine the millions, billions of years before your death and picture lying dead in a casket for that long. 

I am thanatophobic, which means I have an acute fear of death (in my case, actually being dead). I've known this for years, but somehow living life dulled it. The act of not thinking about it, not as a conscious choice as much as through activity, made me almost forget. Until I woke up one day and the idea whispered from my subconsciousness in a way that it had never done before. It was like, by living my life, I forgot how amazingly impossible it seemed to be alive. That the mere acts of being able to reach out and touch something, feel things pressed against your skin, were miracles in and of themselves. Living life had been the catalyst to forget that I was actually alive and existed. But, as soon as I re-remembered this awesome, astonishing reality, my existentialist crisis began. I would not always be a part of this solid world of conscious beings, of feeling, of laughter, of thought, of movement. Somehow, it made everything seem more trivial and, even as I went out to do things I should enjoy, drained the happiness out of my attempts to actively be alive. However, if I hope to exist in this reality, I have to find solace in a few things in order to maintain my sanity.

Firstly,  I have to live while I'm alive and strive to be remembered when I'm dead. This means, I have to live in the present. I have to actively try to exist in the moment without flashing forward to my own casket or undervaluing the moments I have with the people I care about, doing things I enjoy, just because the moments my heart beats won't last forever. Also, I have to push forward with my dreams and try to become someone who can build things and help others. If, somehow, someway, I can create things that will inspire and contribute to the lives of others, I will have done my job as a good, living being. I will have done something that gives and continues to give beyond the time I, as a finite entity, can not. I must live and contribute. 

Secondly, I have to realize that there are worse things than being dead. This mainly will have to come from my desire to be a good person. Because I believe it is better to be a good person who will one day die than to live as someone who has only hurt those around him, that has only polluted the greater world and culture. So, in that regard, I must also seek to be a good person and help in the ways I can. Because, in those acts of kindness, are the stuff that life is made of. (Plus, thinking of things that are worst than being dead may help me feel better) And lastly, I have to connect and get beyond this existential crisis I'm having. I have to try to push my way back to sanity by not being so much astonished at the idea that I'm alive and everything exist as much I am that other people exist and are dedicating their lives to the things they care about. If I can create bonds with some of the other 7 billion people on this planet and find out what they want to do with this unbelievably amazing thing called life, maybe that can anchor me in reality long enough not to get lost in the bigger questions of existence. So yeah, that's what I'm going to try to do. Cope, live, strive, fight, love, like, hold onto everything that I can. Life was a gift I was given and, eventually, I'm going to have to give it up. Hopefully, I'll do as much with this gift as I can until that moment though.