“…is gonna be ‘kay,” Emma promised weekly. She was well aware of the possible consequences, was aware she might not see her family ever again. She hated for Regina too see her like this, but a part of her was so happy to be able to see her one more time. The pain she saw was quite unbearable, though. Emma felt wet drop start rolling down her temples. She didn’t wish to leave them so soon, but at least she made it and… “U gonna be safe… U 'n Henry… gonna be safe…” That was all that mattered right now. Her trembling hand found it’s way to grasp onto Regina then. Emma squeezed it through the sticky blood; at least tried to use all the strength she had left. She could hardly feel the pain, but she felt herself less and less in control of her body. It was going weak and the sight before her began to turn black from the blood loss. Her body growing cold. “…'Gina,” she whispered barely audible. More tears appeared in her eyes as lips denied to move for form more of those last words. But she hoped Regina knew. Probably all along could sense it. Maybe Emma was meant to be the Saviour, but being ready to give up her life for someone… was a whole another thing. It wasn’t just someone… “I–” trying once more… the darkness took her.
this is not how the story is suppose to go. emma is the savior. the savior does not die. but this is not storybrooke or the enchanted forrest and the world outside their town borders cares little about the distinction between heroes and villains.
“no, shhh... you’ll be fine,” the tears are tracking freely down regina’s cheeks now as she continues to vehemently shake her head, refusing to accept the reality of the situation even as it is closing in around them. she tries to reach for her phone again but is intercepted by emma’s hand clutching at her own. it’s cold, slick with blood, her grip barely strong enough to be considered as such and regina finds herself holding on tight, like she might be able to will the warmth back into emma’s limbs that way. but she can’t. because there is not a lick of magic in this fucked up world and emma is fading fast. “it’s okay... i’ve got you,” she confirms as garbled syllables make up her name, cradling the blonde against her. “it’s okay..,” she repeats.
emma’s body goes limp and it’s really not okay.
i’m sorry, regina thinks over and over again because she cannot speak - can barely even breathe. i’m so sorry. emma is gone and there is blood everywhere. her hands, her clothes, smeared over the side of her jaw. and there’s a puddle left behind in the middle of the road too after she hoists emma into the bug.
regina doesn’t think, only acts.
the universe is cruel. they’re barely thirty minutes from the town line. and it’s sheer luck that they— she doesn’t encounter anyone on the way to her vault.
her expression remains blank as she faces the rest of their family - emma’s family - only allowing for enough emotions to comfort henry once he rushes down the stairs at the cries of agony coming from his grandmother. he doesn’t believe her. pushes at her. screams. regina only holds on tighter.
david makes the official announcement the next day.
it is not okay that emma died instead of her and regina is just a little bit grateful that no one tries to tell her otherwise.
the entire town is mourning the loss of their savior. they’re burying an empty coffin. and regina should truly know better than to try and sway the borders of life and death by now. but her heart does not.
(emma looks just as peaceful and serene as daniel once did.)
hook skips town the day of the funeral and it’s the one thing regina is not sorry about. david still isn’t speaking to her and the message comes across loud and clear. he'd rather his daughter were here with them instead of her, and regina cannot find it in herself to disagree. snow is really trying but even days after, she continues to be unable to look regina in the eye. and regina. regina feels numb, going through the motions solely for henry’s sake. he’s already lost one mother, he cannot lose them both. she doesn’t allow herself to grieve. she makes him eat the meals she prepares — all home-cooked after one granny-induced breakdown — forces him to come on walks with her, has him see archie at least once a week and does her best to ensure that his daily routine is not disrupted. she doesn’t make him go to school. at night he curls up in bed next to her like he’s five years old again, weeping into her shoulder and asking why through gasping sobs. regina considers putting her heart into a box several times a day.
it’s snow who finally takes mercy on her, offering to look after henry for the night. she even manages a brief moment of eye contact and squeezes regina’s hand as if to acknowledge her pain. and regina knows then that she might be fooling everyone else but she is not fooling her.
the clock strikes eleven when she lights both sides of the candle. it’s a shot in the dark. murderer and murder weapon - she’s got one of them covered. the other is not so simple, though regina hopes that her presence is enough. she may not have killed emma but she sure as hell is responsible for her death. taking one last glance at the covered glass coffin behind her, she begins the slightly altered ritual and almost doesn’t believe her eyes when a portal - weak and sputtering - opens up above her. she calls for emma - once... twice... - but nothing happens. the portal disappears within an instant as tears begin to blur her vision and regina doesn’t even think to blow out the candle as she drops her head into her hands, a desperate sob pushing past her lips. // @thatsdevilstears
