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things that you discover when you read too many pureblood fanfictions

things that you discover when you read too many pureblood characters fanfiction :

- they dress up for dinner in fancy gowns, at home

- pureblood children are forced to socialize when their parents are being rich jerks together

- pureblood women don’t work, but they do a lot of knitting

- every single children knows how to play a fancy instrument like piano or violin

- summer ball. winter ball. christimas eve ball. just a lot of social gatherings and excuses to wear fancy dresses.

- and bonus : if you are reading marauders era, you might find voldemort at one of those gatherings. nice.

- every pureblood father can duel. they’re also cruel af. they all work with something that we never find out but are away from home often. ( good for the children I guess )

- and if the father is not cruel, the mother is a stone-cold bitch. doesn’t hug tbh

- all girls are betrothed by the age of 15. ( also fuck this fucking hard word. had to check spelling like 20 times, you damn americans )

- and they all speak fancy words. but I think thats just something about being british.

- women have their babies at home.

- rooms are often as big as my house. must be nice living in a manor.

- there are no playdates, only social gatherings for the parents. if your parents don’t invite some jerks to have tea with them and you don’t have any siblings, you’re a lonely bastard.

- girls are not encouraged to play quidditch or stain their dresses. purebloods are sexist 24/7.

- if you say the word muggleborn, parents will spank you.

-if you say the word mudblood, parents will give you a cookie.

- if you’re reading marauders era, you might stumble upon the black sisters at some random ball. they’ll be well dressed. like pureblood royalty or something.

- lots of made up names. why couldn’t jk rowling think of a name for that random ravenclaw pureblood’s father that will eventually talk business with some important character’s father?

-they’ll teach you the dark arts.

- everyone wears dark red, green, silver and black. if you’re lucky to find a dark blue dress, tell me about it.

- innocent girls wear pastel colors. (ha! narcissa I gotcha )

- teenagers drink wine in front of their parents. and firewhiskey when they’re not looking.

- dorm parties. summer parties. just lot’s of parties and alcohol.

-in one of those parties, a bunch of teenage death eaters will look for a muggle village to commit murder. just average fanfic routine.

-100% clueless about muggle technology. 100% dont care about it.

-lots of elfs. elfs everywhere. no human staff, just elfs.

- “taking a walk through the gardens” it’s just plain romance starter. or a way to burn the patriarchy by talking about muggles while nobody is looking.

- lots of unused rooms. plenty of space to shag.

bonus : incest. just plain incest. we’re not talking about it. but it’s there. the incest.