#the same end

[finalrespite]

I feel like the godsforsaken Endsinger. Three times in a row I've been dropped into the Immortal Flames and each time has been the EXACT same win order.

[dkafterdark]

“And for me, out here, it’s that the desert is so strange. It’s alien. It might as well be Mars. And that strangeness helps me remember that the world is strange, that there’s so much to wonder at, so many things we don’t understand but that we come into contact with every day. It’s good to be reminded of that, I think. We take the world for granted. We look past it and through it. The desert makes you stop and really look, really see.” He hesitated. “And the strangeness of it is an analogue, I think. For me. I look at it, and I don’t understand it, but somehow I’m part of it and not, all at the same time. That’s what I mean about the spiritual landscape. The desert reminds me of how I feel around people: I can see them, touch them, be right up next to them, and I know I’m part of their world, but at the same time I’m not.”

The Same End by Gregory Ashe

[dkafterdark]

Alright, y'all, I'm officially obsessed with The Lamb and the Lion series by Gregory Ashe: 1) The Same Breath, 2) The Same Place, 3) The Same End

The books are M/M romance/mystery/suspense set in Salt Lake City and starring

Tean - gay, POC (his dad is Latino), former Mormon, wildlife vet at the Division of Wildlife Resources, has a lot of issues including a bad relationship with his family and a toxic on/off relationship with his closeted not-boyfriend Ammon (a cop). (CW: Tean's family is homophobic and there's some dubcon in his relationship with Ammon)

Jem - gay, white, con man, homeless, illiterate, raised in the foster system, has a lot of issues that he is suppressing like it's a game of wack-a-mole. (CW: Jem experienced physical and sexual abuse as a child and was raped and tortured when in juvie - in some ways he made me think of what Andrew or Ash would be like in their early 30s)

further CW: these books revolve around criminal cases that Tean and Jem get roped into and there's murder, sexual assault, violence, animal cruelty, homophobia, and more stuff I'm probably forgetting

So yes the books do get dark and are extremely heart-wrenching. But they're also filled with intense beauty, searing insights into human nature and morality, loads of humor and banter and Jem's antics, sweetness and affection, and a beautiful, hard won, slow burn love story. These books made me feel lots of rage and frustration, happiness and joy, heartbreak and hope.

I can't even describe all the ways that Jem and Tean broke my heart, especially in this final book. They've had such a journey and I'm so overwhelmed thinking about everything they've been through, the horrors and violence, the laughter and antics, the heartbreak and realizations and growth. Outstanding character work all around, superb storytelling, and really interesting and complex cases. Not to mention the totally immersive and descriptive setting. Jem and Tean are the oddest and most wonderful duo and are now living rent free in my head (the only way Jem would live, tbh).

[dkafterdark]

“Pleasure is real, joy too, and it’s only now, right now, when we can have them, so we have to fight for them. Fight for ourselves. Fight for other people. Fight for justice and peace and happiness and safety right now, instead of waiting for a perfect world that we’ll all get sometime later. Later isn’t worth anything; we only have right now. And how we choose to use this moment, how we choose to spend the precious little time we have alive, that’s the most serious ethical responsibility we have.”

“Please don’t tell me you’re going to make me stop watching Saturday-morning cartoons. I ask for very little.”

The Same End by Gregory Ashe

I just fucking realized Tean and Jem are 100% Chidi and Eleanor 💖😭

[dkafterdark]

"When Tean buzzed down the window, a staticky voice asked for their order.

“A million hash browns,” Jem shouted, plucking at his shirt to cool himself. “And one hash brown cut in half, no salt.”

He grunted when Tean slapped his stomach."

The Same End by Gregory Ashe

If I had any drawing abilities I would draw these two dorks for the "He wants to order meme"

[dkafterdark]

I really can't express how much I'm enjoying The Same End by Gregory Ashe. Jem and Tean are some of my new favorite characters and their banter and antics never fail to delight me. I have no idea how their story is going to end because these books have been unpredictable from the start