#the-geek-cornucopia

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the-geek-cornucopia

I wanna hear more about how if you’re a professional clown you can’t do the Olympics.

So that’s a joke that apparently makes me Very Old. :D

The joke was playing on a rule the Olympics used to have that you couldn’t compete if you’d ever been a “professional” athlete -- basically if you’d been paid to, say, play baseball, you couldn’t compete at the Olympics even if you weren’t competing in baseball. 

As a kid I was fascinated by the rule because like, how many Olympic sports really allowed you to be “professional” outside of the Olympics? To which my mother replied “Amateur is figure skating. Professional is skating with Mickey Mouse in Disney on Ice.” 

Anyway, it was super weird and classist and obviously put athletes who weren’t independently wealthy or state-supported (like in the USSR) at an extreme disadvantage. They lifted the rule for most sports in the late 1990s, which I didn’t know until just now because my stance of Fuck The Olympics has existed since roughly 1995. But the joke was that if I tried to be a professional clown instead of just acting like a clown in my private life, I’d be disqualified for any clown events at the Olympics. 

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sempernap replied to your photoset “Cats on cushions. [Description: two images; in the first, Dearborn is...”

Wait, you have a donut, a tortilla wrap and a loaf pillow? No wonder your kitty is doing the loaf thing. Master of disguise.

You know, my interior decor is trending heavily towards breadstuffs....

the-geek-cornucopia replied to your photoset “Cats on cushions. [Description: two images; in the first, Dearborn is...”

They are so cute! How do you stand it? I’d be �� all the time.

Oh believe me, I 100% am. Sometimes I look at them and love them so much that I vow definitely not to murder them the next time one of them pukes on the bookshelf. :D 

kimmiesue13 replied to your photoset “Cats on cushions. [Description: two images; in the first, Dearborn is...”

Love these babies! But I'm laughing at the poster above Polk's ear, which looks like nothing so much as...a penis.

AHAHAHAH I suppose it does, you’re right. It’s actually an airplane -- I think a Mustang? I’d need to look it up. That’s a poster for All My Sons, an Arthur Miller play I worked on in undergrad -- it deals with the fallout from war profiteering during WWII specifically in regards to airplanes. 

srprincess replied to your photo “copperbadge: copperbadge: deannafanafofana: copperbadge: I’m...”

Marginally related - have you tried Canada dry’s new bold ginger ale?

No, I hadn’t even heard of such a thing! I don’t usually drink full-sugar soda so I can’t imagine I’d like it, but if I see it I’ll try it out :D

froofie replied to your photo “I caught a whale shark in Animal Crossing and can’t stop laughing....”

Do you live inside a honeycomb Sam?

That’s my “science room”! I thought the honeycomb wallpaper was appropriate, and also I like how warm it makes the room look. 

arukou-arukou replied to your photo “I caught a whale shark in Animal Crossing and can’t stop laughing....”

You shall have to make your own aquarium.

I wish! I was planning to until I realized they make one for you. My theme for my island is “tacky entertainment park” -- it’s basically built around the idea of cheesy roadside attractions you find off the highway. So there might be a Sharkland or something! Right now the two I’ve started building are Scale Land, where it’s basically just a maze path full of things that aren’t the right size (the small lighthouse, giant teddybears, etc) and Dino Camp, which is the campground they make you install, but all around it are dinosaur skeletons that are poorly and incorrectly assembled. 

The first thing you see when you get off the plane are a) a pizza stand and b) a vending machine. :D

fruitgoat replied to your photo “Polk likes to hide under the sheets and pretend she’s an assassin...”

She also looks like she’s about to jump off the bed and wants to make sure she can land in the convenient pile of laundry, er, I mean, haystack.

She is actually overlooking what I call “cat canyon”, which is the roughly one-foot gap between my bed and the wall that the cats like to use as a thoroughfare to get off/under/past the bed. 

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ameliahcrowley replied to your link “Give Every Thanksgiving Guest Their Own Head of Roasted Garlic”

I have had a recipe for garlic bread using roasted garlic just sitting around for ages, untested. This post just reminded me of that fact, and also that I have a bag of garlic bulbs sitting in the fridge and nothing on my hands but time.

Roasting garlic is also a great way to preserve garlic before it sprouts. I stopped buying fresh garlic because it would sprout before I could use it all; I still don’t use fresh, but instead of the minced garlic in oil jar, I now have a tub full of roasted, which I like the flavor of more anyway. 

the-geek-cornucopia replied to your link “Give Every Thanksgiving Guest Their Own Head of Roasted Garlic”

Sam! Please tell me of your garlic roasting prowess! I have tried numerous times and they burn and I cry. I need temp and time because I love roasted garlic but I keep messing it up.

Well, there are two facets of roasting garlic without burning it, which is admittedly super easy to do. 

First, low and slow -- it’s harder to burn anything if it’s cooking longer at a lower temperature. The recipe at the site says 400F, but that’s way too hot; I roast at 325F.

Second, you cannot cook garlic with precision; you can’t just set the oven and a timer and walk away. It’s one of those “know with your heart” deals. 

So, you peel off what excess paper you can, chop the top off the bulb to expose at least the tips of most of the cloves themselves, dip the top in a shallow dish of oil, and wrap it, top side up, in tinfoil. Wrap it so that the foil is a little loose, and so that it’s easy to open from the top without having to handle it too much. There are also special clay garlic-roasting dishes you can buy if you don’t want to wrap them in foil. 

Roast at 325F, setting your timer for 40 minutes. The kitchen/house will begin to smell like garlic after a bit; if the smell turns unpleasant or acrid, immediately pull the bulbs out and check one for signs of burning. If it’s fine at 40 minutes, pull the bulbs out and check one to see if it has darkened significantly and is extremely soft (you can test with a fork or chopstick). If it still seems relatively pale and firm, re-wrap it loosely and put them back in, checking back every 7-10 minutes or so. Even if some of them get a little black on top, you can usually salvage the bulb as a whole, so just let it cool, slice off the blackened bits, and mash up the rest. 

It really is a technique you have to learn, figuring out exactly when to pull each batch. But also, someone else suggested oil poaching, which is basically the sous-vide equivalent of roasting, so if you’re dispirited about roasting the garlic, I’d look up some oil poaching techniques and try that! 

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kaonicks replied to your photo “Honestly I’ve seen these and also the winterberry-whatever Sprite and...”

The coke freestyle machine offers diet holiday options! I think, still. I tried one of sprites? And if was bad lmao

Oh, that might be something to try! I do sometimes get a Diet Coke and then a shot of regular coke with flavoring. 

memprime replied to your photo “Honestly I’ve seen these and also the winterberry-whatever Sprite and...”

Where have you seen these, Sam?

I wasn’t keeping a list per se, but I’m pretty sure the Walgreens in the Wrigley Building had it? And possibly the Jewel on State in River North. Don’t make pilgrimage on my say-so, though, those are impressions, not certainties. 

jabberwockypie replied to your post “How to grow a cat tree”

Is her favorite the spot where she gets to be tol?

IT IS. :D She loves the little platform between the two hammocks. 

rdprice29 replied to your photo “Polk has...a plot. It's not a good or intelligent plot, but it's hers....”

Is it a plot to pounce on Dearborn in order to share the internet's most coveted blanket lap?

It might have been! Dearborn anticipated her, though, and bopped her on the head when she tried it. 

the-geek-cornucopia replied to your photo “Polk has...a plot. It's not a good or intelligent plot, but it's hers....”

Polk is planning mayhem

It’s all that fills her tiny hard head. :D 

batbetbitbotbut replied to your photo “Polk has...a plot. It's not a good or intelligent plot, but it's hers....”

Polk has... eyes. They are not intelligent eyes, but they're hers (and they're gorgeous)

It’s true, I often tell her it’s a good thing she’s pretty :D

toooldfrthis replied to your photo “The Saturday Morning Hug For All! This week’s hug is Sebastian Stan...”

Just wanted to say that I look forward to the hugs - they make my day! Thanks!

Aw, I’m glad they help! I need to rummage around and find some new ones to rotate in when I refill the queue later this month...

col1999 replied to your post “psst, studying meteorology here. if you want a good radar, check out...”

Hey how about you ask for some storms *when (and where) you're out of town* rather than in the same weather area I share with you? Alternatively I will be out of the same weather area next Sunday, so wish away for that day. Thank you.

LOL! I will try to request some storms when I’m in Texas, how’s that? 

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junker5 replied to your photo “They call me….Dickfinger. [Description: my right pinky finger, swathed...”

Awww, Sam! Ouch! I’m sorry! Be sure to adhere to the don’t lay down rule! I fell asleep on the couch once while on such meds and burned my esophagus. Sounds like you deserve a treat. Get well soon!

HOLY SHIT IS THAT WHY. I thought maybe it had some kind of sedative effect. 

prettyxellos replied to your photo “They call me….Dickfinger. [Description: my right pinky finger, swathed...”

Are these also the no dairy for an hour before or two hours after? Sounds like the big guns

She said no milk, but I thought that was because it was iron-rich...

zoya141620 replied to your photo “They call me….Dickfinger. [Description: my right pinky finger, swathed...”

Get well soon. it's a bit of cognitive dissonance to think that you've been writing about Prowly and cat gourds while your finger is hurting more and more. Take your meds and pray to the healing gods

I mean, I’m often mildly wounded in ways I don’t bother to bring up until/unless they’re funny, like the Leprosy Of 2004 (it wasn’t leprosy but that’s what I called it). I’ve almost always got cuts or bruises or whatever, so I really didn’t think much of it until it just wouldn’t heal and I realized that while the pain was a normal level for a wound, the wound itself wasn’t normal -- so I said to myself, if this lasts another week or the pain gets worse, I’ll see a doctor, and sure enough the pain got worse. 

Right this minute I have the finger cot on my little finger but also two injuries superglued shut on my right index finger and left-hand middle finger.  (The doctor checked those too, they’re fine.)

liho907lilo replied to your photo “They call me….Dickfinger. [Description: my right pinky finger, swathed...”

Thank you for not going to a pharmacy and asking “does this look infected?” because we techs as well as the people in white coats will always, without fail, say “yep better get to a doc” Also, good luck on those meds! The water part is super important. Don’t...don’t skip that. Bad if you do.

Holy shit WHO DOES THAT. Like “Hey I know I’m not paying for this but could you just give me a professional opinion real quick in the middle of your working day?” WOW. 

radio-charlie replied to your photo “They call me….Dickfinger. [Description: my right pinky finger, swathed...”

jesus!!! so glad u caught that in time. prospect of bad-ass four finger yakuza hand still not worth it

I never realized how much I use my right pinky until I couldn’t. I use the right shift key exclusively, so I’m typing a lot slower since I have to remind myself to hit shift with my left pinky, and it misses part of the time. 

clockways replied to your photo “They call me….Dickfinger. [Description: my right pinky finger, swathed...”

SAM! Just- sam! How did you infect it that badly?? I ask as the queen of slicing up finger with art which is not exactly a clean environment. Feel better soon!!

Might have been the nozzle of the superglue tbh. I don’t know long that tube was in my craft drawer. 

the-geek-cornucopia replied to your photo “They call me….Dickfinger. [Description: my right pinky finger, swathed...”

Have the sisters seen it yet? Are trying to figure out why dad has this on his finger?

Not yet! I bought it on the way to work this morning after seeing the doctor. I will report in, for sure. 

thisusernameisunique reblogged your post and added:

What does 2x1 mean.

Well, in cross-stitch you stitch across one “square” of woven fabric, generally, but if you want to make larger stitches you stitch across one square but down two squares. At least that was my assumption, I just realized I have no idea how I know that.

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jonlybonlyfromboldlygo replied to your post “brilliant-starlight replied to your post “Mum: Have you heard about...”

Sam is your mom watching Heartland? It's a little soapy but still pretty positive

gatesofivoryandhorn replied to your post “brilliant-starlight replied to your post “Mum: Have you heard about...”

If you mom is at all into horses, there's a series called Heartland on Netflix that is set in Canada. My mom's a huge fan and it's pretty wholesome (and very Dramatic sometimes). No mounties, though -- except in like, one episode?

I don’t think Mum has heard of Heartland, but I’ll recommend it to her! I never know what will catch her fancy. She doesn’t normally like mysteries but she loves Nero Wolfe and, for some unknown reason, Sherlock. Normally she hates seeing children hurt but she enjoys the hell out of Anne With an E and just fast-forwards through the abuse scenes. 

the-geek-cornucopia replied to your post “Mum: Have you heard about this college admissions bribery scandal? Me:...”

I love that your moms solution is to get rid of the character by fire! Is the Hallmark Channel her favorite channel?

That was what cracked me up too, that her solution to writing a character out of a Hallmark show, notoriously a gentle and nonviolent genre, was to SET HER ON FIRE. 

She loves Hallmark movies, it might be her favorite channel. They’re very low stress, I don’t blame her. 

obeekris replied to your post “Mum: Have you heard about this college admissions bribery scandal? Me:...”

My friend watches that show as well. Her concerns was what was gonna happen with the show.

Yeah, apparently the last episode they had in the can they won’t be airing because she’s in it, which is pretty hardcore. 

yee-jun replied to your post “brilliant-starlight replied to your post “Mum: Have you heard about...”

"Crime Boats"

It’s really the best way to describe my ancestry. Not only because many of them were criminals on boats, but also because boats imply the very nomadic lifestyle most of my ancestors also lived. (As far back as we’ve been able to trace my family tree, no two generations of my direct ancestors have ever been buried in the same graveyard. Even the Mennonite Pirate’s family, most of his kids are buried in the local plot with him but not my ancestor, he fucked off westward to seek his fortune.) 

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basic-cable replied to your quote “Would you mind elaborating on why White Collar disappointed you? Was...”

Mango trees and jack Russell terriers aren't ringing any fic bells for me. Can you link me?

I believe it’s a reference to Cartographer’s Craft :) The puppies are used to battle dementors, and the mango trees are from the garden of the house Harry moves into during seventh year. 

roobei replied to your photoset “For those of you were like “more cat please” here is Dearborn’s...”

That second pic is her, I’m currently accepting chin scritches pose ? It’s a small window.

She adores a chin-scratch. Polk will begrudgingly allow them sometimes, but Deebs loves belly rubs and chin scratches. 

the-geek-cornucopia replied to your photoset “For those of you were like “more cat please” here is Dearborn’s...”

For some reason Dearborn looks like she’d talk with a French accent. I keep picturing her in a beret.

I keep trying to picture her in a beret but all I can picture is her epic freakout at having something on her head, and then Polk destroying the beret :D 

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bamfcoyotetango replied to your photo “Neither of them are happy that Deebs got up on top of the bathroom...”

Deebs looks like she has Regrets (TM) getting up there

She had a lot of regrets. It’s like...a life she’s living lately. She keeps wanting to get up wherever Polk goes -- on the bookshelf or the baker’s rack or what have you -- but she just can’t figure out what to do once she’s up there. 

noriannbraindripshere replied to your photo “Neither of them are happy that Deebs got up on top of the bathroom...”

"The risk was calculated but man, I'm bad at maths."

Bless her dumb soul. She’s a sweetheart but she’s not...bright. 

the-geek-cornucopia replied to your photo “Neither of them are happy that Deebs got up on top of the bathroom...”

Deebs looks like “how did it come to this”

Meanwhile Polk is like “HOW DID IT COME TO THIS”

splinteredstar replied to your photo “Neither of them are happy that Deebs got up on top of the bathroom...”

Deebs has /such/ a face

She really does have the best expressions. It’s all in the ears. 

batbetbitbotbut replied to your photo “Neither of them are happy that Deebs got up on top of the bathroom...”

Polk looks more cryptid than ever

I really wanted her face in the photo too because it was priceless, but she can’t hold still. 

jabberwockypie replied to your photo “Neither of them are happy that Deebs got up on top of the bathroom...”

Such smart babies! ^_^

“Smart” has a very specific value in this case :D