The100Shipweeks Bellamy and Clarke Week #3
AN: This isn’t finished. Just going to put that out there. I don’t think I’ve posted this, but if I’m wrong, I’m sorry. I tracked a few tags just to make sure. I hope you like this- I started it before I watched the remainder of Season 1 and any of Season 2, so it’s a little cannon-deviant.
~
"Hey, Bell, I think there's something wrong with Clarke." Octavia informed her brother, jogging into the command tent. "Wrong how?" Bellamy asked, looking up from the papers strewn over the makeshift table. "She's acting really weird. It might be a hallucinogen." Bellamy scanned the darkness through the door of the tent, watching for the problematic medic. Octavia stood at his shoulder, her dark eyes attentive as well.
They heard her before they saw her; a crash and a groan, followed by shuffling footsteps. Bellamy motioned for his sister to stay back, just in case it wasn't really Clarke or it was her and she was dangerouss (more so than normal), and ventured out into the night. Clarke's vision twisted and fell like a malfunctioning zero-gravity room as she stumbled from the makeshift med bay in the dropship. It was a miracle she had made it down the ladder in one piece, but even that seemed so complicated. She had to focus so hard on moving one foot in front of the other that it was impossible to notice anything else anymore. "I'm probably just tired." She mumbled aloud, sighing. That had to be it. Pressing a trembling hand to her temple, she took a deep breath before contunuing on her way.
She didn't make it far before she tripped and fell into a table with a stack of knives on it. A few of them made little scratches on her skin, but she didn't care. She had to get up and check on Finn. He was still fragile, though he'd never admit it. She braced her hand against the ground, a knife digging into her palm, and pushed herself upright. Blood ran down her palm from the knife's blade and she wiped it on her pants, not caring that they were dirty. She had to get to Finn before he had his first nightmare.
Bellamy's shadow soundlessly crossed camp toward the crash, a knife at the ready in his hand. In the faint light of a distant fire, he could see Clarke's head over a makeshift table. "Clarke!" He called, jogging toward her just as she shoved herself to her feet with a grunt. Bellamy didn't like how she was swaying on her feet, so he ran over to her, stopping a few feet away. "What happened, Princess?" He asked, surveying the scattered knives around her. "I tripped. It's fine." She told him firmly, dropping to gather the weapons up. Bellamy was inclined to believe her and get out of her way, but when she began taking the freshly-sharpened knives by the blades, he knew she wasn't alright. She would never be so careless. He dropped down to her level and covered her hands. "Clarke, you're picking them up by the blade. What're you doing?" Clarke sighed. "I'm in a hurry. It's fine, Bellamy. Just go to bed." "At least let me help you clean up." Bellamy countered. Clarke rolled her blurry eyes, sensing that he wouldn't leave her alone unless she let him help. "Fine."
It only took a few minutes for the two of them to pick up all the knives, but Clarke's hands were aching and bloody from the blades. She hid them well from Bellamy, but he was still watching her closely. She struggled to her feet for the second time, and for the second time her stomach turned and her vision went black. The pain in her hands didn't help any.
Bellamy saw her shaking and clutching the table, blood seeping into the wood grain from her palm. He drew closer and touched her hand, taking a huge risk. He wasn't supposed to feel anything for her, let alone presume he could touch her. Much to his surprise, though, she didn't jerk away from him and start yelling at him. Instead, she just stared dazedly at their hands, her cracked lips parting slightly. "Clarke, what's going on?" He asked gently, restraining himself from drawing any closer. Clarke opened her mouth to say she was fine and needed to tend to Finn, but all that came out was a pathetic whimper. 'Come on.' She chided herself. 'You're better than this. Get moving.' So, clenching her jaw, she assured Bellamy she was fine and had to get going.
Bellamy allowed the driven blonde to pass him and limp unsteadily in the general direction of Finn's tent. He smiled, waiting for her to fall, which she did. He knelt beside her, helping her sit up again, and dusted her off wordlessly, feeling that commenting would be cruel. Clarke looked like she wanted to protest, but she couldn't speak - she was shaking too badly. Bellamy sighed sympathetically when a tear trickled down her pale face, brushing it away. "Clarke?" He asked in his gentlest tone. "Tell me what's wrong." Clarke shook her head. She would not give Bellamy any more ammo to take her down with. She needed to be strong or no one would get anything done. "Don't lie to me, Princess. Just tell me so I can help you." Bellamy pled, reaching out his hand to her. Clarke backed away, breathing heavily, and stumbled to her feet. Immediately, she doubled over, wretching.
Hearing the commotion, Monty came running from his gaurd post, concerned. "Clarke!" He yelled, grabbing her and straightening her out. She groaned, trying to free herself from the boy's grasp. Monty struggled to keep his hold on the thrashing medic and Bellamy came to his aid after a few minutes, holding her arms down. "Clarke, you're okay. Calm down. Once you're calm, we'll let you go." Monty murmured in her ear. Bellamy gave up on her arms once Monty had them sucessfully restrained and took her face between his palms, forcing her to look at him. "Clarke Griffin. Calm down. Whatever's going on in your head is not real. Got that?" He told her sternly. She shrank back and Monty shook his head, wearing his best sass face. "That won't work." He informed Bellamy, sounding as if he had some experience with Clarke's psychosis. He took a deep breath, then whispered in Clarke's ear "You're safe, Clarke. Nothing's going to hurt you. You can relax. Bellamy won't touch you or anyone else." Upon hearing his words, Clarke relaxed. The clincher had been when Monty had brought up Bellamy. Bellamy's face fell at seeing that he was a stresser for her. She hadn't acted afraid around him. Was it possible that Monty was wrong- that she wasn't really afraid of him?
Monty turned Clarke around so she wouldn't be able to see Bellamy if she opened her eyes, which was unlikely. "I think you should go." He prompted Bellamy, it being his nice way of saying 'get out.' "No. You're on watch tonight, Monty. I'll deal with her." Bellamy argued, looking for any excuse to find out why she was afraid of him. Clarke started to lift her head, whimpering, and Monty gently pushed it back down onto his shoulder. "It's okay, Clarke." Turning to Bellamy, he almost glared. "You have done nothing but give her grief and undermine her since we landed. I will not, as the one holding her up, allow her to come to with you standing over her. That will give her a heart attack or worse. Got it?" Bellamy didn't expect Monty to be so harsh. "Monty, I get you're worried about her, but you need to protect the camp." He reached forward and grasped Clarke's small shoulders. "And I will look out for Princess." Monty wasn't willing to subject Clarke to being tugged back and forth like a chew toy, especially when she was so fragile, so he fixed Bellamy with an even stare. "Let her go."
Clarke opened her eyes just in time for Bellamy to pry her from Monty's grasp. She screamed and tried to fight him, her mind swirling senselessly like her nonrepresentational paintings on the Ark. "It's okay, Clarke. I've got you." Bellamy tried to console her. "Let me go!" She screamed, thrashing in his arms.
Octavia ran from the command tent to see what the screaming was and gasped when she saw her older brother restraining Clarke while she struggled against him, Monty trying to get him to let her go. "Bellamy! Let her go!" Octavia yelled, siding with Clarke and Monty. "O, go to sleep!" Bellamy replied, pulling Clarke against him harshly. "You're hurting her." Monty warned, trying to get close enough to Clarke to calm her down. Octavia knew Bellamy's weak spots, and used that insider knowledge to weaken his arms so he released Clarke.
When Bellamy released her, Clarke fell to the ground. She took one shuddering breath, then lay still. Monty, Bellamy, and Octavia all dropped to their knees around her. Monty sighed, lifting her head from the ground. "There was a rock here." He said pointedly, giving Bellamy a side glare. "Is she gonna be okay?" Octavia asked, panicking. If Bellamy had killed Clarke, or even done permanent damage, he would probably leave or worse. He was very attached to Clarke in some weird way. Monty studied Clarke's head for a few minutes, trying to discern the damage that was done. "She'll live and I don't think she'll have any brain damage, but she'll be in a lot of pain when she wakes up. I'm taking her back to the drop ship." "How do you plan on getting her up the ladder?" Bellamy challenged. Monty rolled his eyes. "It's none of your concern." He carefully lifted Clarke from the dirt and stalked off toward the drop ship.
Bellamy knew he was in trouble when Octavia turned on him. "What were you thinking?" She demanded. "You could have killed her! Why didn't you let Monty handle it?" Bellamy sighed. "Clarke needed to calm down, and I didn't trust Monty to take care of it." "Look, I don't trust Monty with her either," Octavia admitted, "but apparently she's afraid of you so you should back off for a while and try to help her trust you when she's sane." Bellamy sighed. "Fine. Go check on them, O. I highly doubt they can get her up the ladder and I don't want her sleeping in the med bay." As much as Octavia hated being bossed around by her brother, she agreed with him. It would be a trick to get an unconscious Clarke up the ladder, let alone if she was awake and struggling.
Monty carried Clarke into the drop ship and immediately yelled for Jasper. "Jasper! Open the hatch and help me get Clarke up!" The hinges of the hatch creaked and Jasper's face aappeared in the hole. "Dude! What happened?" Monty rolled his eyes. "Bellamy." Jasper chuckled dryly. "Great. Here- hoist her up. I'll take her arms." Monty would be the first to admit that it wasn't an ideal way to get Clarke up the ladder, but it worked... ish. It took a fair amount of struggling but they got Clarke on a cot and the hatch closed.
Monty started to wipe her dirty hands with a damp rag while Jasper hunted for bandages for her hands and some type of antiseptic for her head. "Hurry." Monty urged. "She's starting to wake up." Jasper dug faster, hardly anything of what he saw making much sense to him. Clarke's eyes flew open and she instantaneously rolled onto her side and retched. Monty tentatively reached over and rubbed her bony back, glaring at Jasper's back. They had agreed that if they were going to deal with Clarke, they were going to do it togather. * Clarke woke up screaming... again. Monty and Jasper both bolted upright and tried to comfort her before anyone else heard her and came up, as they always did. "Clarke, it's okay." Jasper assured her while Monty freed her legs from the blankets that had tangled around them in the night. They were getting fairly used to her morning panics, but it was getting harder to hide them like she'd asked, abd both boys would be the first to admit that it was getting freaky.
Monty felt bad for Clarke; she worked so hard every day, saving people and running the camp behind Bellamy's back, but no one seemed to care about the affects it had on her. He tried to help her when she needed it, but she pushed him away or waved him off every time. By now, he had learned to just stay with her for solidarity and watch over her when he could.
When Clarke actually woke up, she grasped Jasper's thin hand and sqeezed the life out of it, channeling all her panic into it. Jasper held her other arm down with his free hand while Monty finished freeing her from the blanket. "Clarke, you're safe. It's okay." He whispered, trying to free his hand from her death grip. Monty took Clarke's pale face in his hands and forced her to meet his eyes. "Clarke, it was just a dream." he assured her. She nodded mutely, gasping for breath. Monty released her face to pull her now-damp hair off her forehead and neck. "Try and take a deep breath, okay?" he advised. Clarke held her breath for a minute so she could regulate her breathing, but all it did was make her light-headded. "Okay," Jasper stepped in, "you need to breathe, Clarke." She needed to take a deep breath or she'd pass out again. Clarke released a shaky breath and quickly inhaled again, still clutching Jasper's hand. Octavia pounded on the hatch of the second level of the drop ship, worried about Clarke after the events of the previous night. Jasper and Monty had kicked her out almost gently last night on the grounds that she wasn't as comfortable with her as she was with them. She hadn't argued then, not wanting to take them away from helping Clarke, but she wanted to check on the older girl once her panic had blown over. "Let me up!" she called, banging on the hatch again. Monty sighed, having bad flashbacks to when she would join him when Jasper was injured. "Octavia, go get breakfast." he called in return. Clarke winced at his raised voice. Instead of leaving as she was told, Octavia attempted to pry the hatch open herself, hoping to prove to the boys that she cared enough about Clarke to look after her even if it was her brother who did the damage in the first place. She was able to force it open and she climbed the rest of the ladder before either boy could stop her, trying to hide her triumphant smile.
Clarke disliked that Bellamy's sister was seeing her in such a weakened state, but she was too tired to pull herself from her panic. She was still having trouble breathing, which only furthered her panic. Octavia knelt beside Monty and looked Clarke over. "How're you feeling?" she asked softly. Clarke laughed mirthlessly, then coughed. "I'm fine." she gasped, "Go eat." Octavia sat back on her heels and pushed a few strands of Clarke's hair that Monty missed from her eyes. "I am not my brother, Clarke. I want to help you." Clarke looked disbelievingly from Octavia to Monty. Jasper opted to stay out of that disagreement and just tried to help the struggling blonde to breathe.
Octavia lifted Clarke's head and Jasper slid his hands under her back to help her sit up. Clarke's head was pounding, her vision going dark from the blood-rush. "Clarke?" Octavia asked, trying not to sound worried. She'd never admit it, but it scared her when Clarke wasn't alright. She, and probably everyone else, knew that Clarke was the only one keeping camp together. "I'm okay." Clarke bit out, finally able to take a deep breath. Monty looked pleased. "Good job, Clarke." he encouraged. Clarke didn't have the energy to respond. Octavia pulled Clarke's hair back again, it having fallen back down, casually inspecting the damage Clarke's fall had incurred to her head. The skin was split, but it wasn't too deep and it looked like Jasper and Monty took good care of it. She was just thankful that Clarke didn't have a concussion. "Here. Drink." Monty instructed her, handing her a cup of water. Clarke looked down at it, her stomach turning. "Come on." Jasper urged, watching her eyes for a clue of what she was thinking. Clarke lifted the cup with a shaking hand and took a sip.
Jasper continued to urger her to drink until the water was gone. Clarke looked ill, but at least she was hydrated. After Monty and Octavia fixed the bandages on her hands, they helped her down the ladder, all the while trying to convince her to eat some breakfast when they went outside. She barely had the energy to fight the three of them at the same time, but more than that, she didn't want to expend the energy to deal with Bellamy.
Octavia held Clarke's arm in a covert display of physical support. Clarke attempted to walk carefully, although Octavia was a fairly good guide. She still tripped a handful of times, but her team of three never let her fall. When they neared the fire where the kids gathered to eat, a very-tired looking Finn met them and studied Clarke. "Clarke, you okay?" he asked carefully, taking note of Octavia's guiding hand on her arm and Jasper and Monty's worried expressions. Clarke nodded. "You sleep okay?" She forced her voice to sound a lot stronger than she felt. "I'm fine. By the way, Bellamy's looking for you." Clarke rolled her eyes. "Thanks. Go eat if you haven't." Finn seemed reluctant to leave her, but Octavia glared at him until he got the hint and left anyway. "You shouldn't have glared at him, Octavia." Monty admonished her, ever the peacemaker. "Oh." Octavia dismissed him. "Come on, Clarke. Let's get some food in you, then we'll find Bell."
Clarke paled at the thought of dealing with Bellamy. She felt like crap and her head was killing her, the mention of Bellamy only making things worse. "Hey," Jasper lowered his voice out of courtesy to her, "it'll be okay. Do you want me to come with you?" Monty was proud of Jasper for stepping up. It was obvious that Clarke wanted to take Jasper up on his offer, but, as always, her pride got the better of her. "I'm fine, but thanks, Jasper. It's just Bellamy." Octavia watched Jasper's face fall. She wished that Clarke would have allowed Jasper to go with her - she could tell that , deep down, Clarke was terrified for whatever reason and it pained her to see Clarke continuing to let herself be beaten by that.
"Clarke, come get something to eat." Monty changed the subject, placing a guiding hand on Clarke's other arm, sharing a concerned glance with Octavia, who nodded her consent. Clarke put her head down and allowed Monty and Octavia to guide her to where some of the kids had set out the rations for breakfast. She took hers and each of her escorts did the same, going to sit on the outside of the band of delinquents to eat. Clarke only picked at her rations, having no appetite whatsoever. Regrettably, one of her self-appointed guardians caught her when she didn't take a bite and threatened to feed her if she didn't do it herself. So, to save herself the embarrassment and knowing she would throw it up later, Clarke forced herself to eat her breakfast, hating the irony of the fact that she was the one who created the guidelines for the rations in the first place.
Bellamy approached his sister and Clarke where they were sitting in a tight group with Jasper and Monty. He came up behind Clarke and watched her carefully for a moment before Jasper noticed him. He stiffened and her eyes were guarded when he looked up at the older boy. "Hey, Bellamy." he greeted him, obviously forcing his tone to be casual. Octavia just looked up at her brother and set her jaw in the classic Blake show of defiance. Even Monty didn't offer Bellamy a "good morning." Clarke was the only one who didn't move when he arrived. "Morning, Princess." he greeted her. Clarke tensed, then sighed. "Hello, Bellamy." she said softly, her tone lacking its usual bite. Bellamy crouched down on her left side, between her and Octavia, and watched her. "Can I talk to you for a sec?" Clarke nodded. "Yeah." She stood, aware of the three worried pairs of eyes following her as she followed Bellamy into the woods. Clarke felt like she would pass out from the simple exertion of walking on her own a few yards into the woods. Maybe it was the stress of fighting with Jasper and Monty, putting on a brave face for Octavia, or psyching himself up for dealing with Bellamy... or it coulld very well be all three. When Bellamy deemed they were far enough away from camp to be overheard, he stopped, leaning against a tree. Clarke stood in front of him, staring at him blankly.
"I just wanted to apologize for last night, Clarke." Bellamy began awkwardly, studying the bark by his hand. Clarke sighed. He did not just drag her out into the woods to apologize... did he? "It's fine, Bellamy. Nothing happened." she brushed it off, trying to act casual. She was really about to collapse, but she hoped that, if they ended their little exchange now, she could get back to camp in time to lie down for a minute before her day began. Bellamy took a step toward her. "No, Clarke. Something happened last night. I don't need to know what, but I don't want to make things worse for you." "I appreciate that, but I'm fine, Blake. Don't worry about it." Clarke persisted with her disguise, feeling it grow weaker as she spoke. She started to walk away, taking control of the conversation, but Bellamy grabbed her wrist, making her stumble. He pulled her back toward him and she fell into his chest, her feet unsteady on the rocky ground. Her skin was warm under his hands and through his shirt where her forehead rested on his chest, sending his heart racing.
"Clarke?" He tried to get her attention without frightening her. "Hmm?" was all Clarke could manage. "I think you need to lie down. I'm taking you back to camp." Bellamy was stern but not harsh as he warned her of his actions. He easily lifted her bridal-style and began up the path to the wall. Clarke wanted to struggle - she didn't trust the boy who told the kids to do "whatever they wanted." He had been her enemy since show one. Why should she trust him now? "Let go of me." she demanded, gritting her teeth to make her voice harsher. Bellamy knew that trick well. "No." He silently dared Clarke to use force on him. As much as Clarke wanted to hit Bellamy in his beautifully exposed carotid artery, she knew all it would do was give him a crick in the neck and a mild headache; she wasn't strong enough to deliver a paralyzing blow. So she settled for compromise. "Let me down when we hit the gate. I don't want the others thinking something happened out here." Bellamy agreed. His team would assume something was wrong with Clarke and some might prey on that, and Clarke's Dream Team would surely believe that he had hurt their leader in the privacy of the woods. That was turmoil he did not want to deal with. Bellamy insisted on holding Clarke's arm when he put her down, just to be safe. Jasper, Monty, and Octavia were waiting anxiously at the gate, and Octavia rushed forward when she saw Bellamy's hand on Clarke's arm. "Are you okay, Clarke?" she asked, completely ignoring her brother. Clarke nodded. "I'm fine. I'm gonna go lie down for a bit, though." Octavia looked skeptical. "I'll take her from her, Bell." She didn't meet his eyes, just took Clarke's other arm and led her away from Bellamy and toward Jasper and Monty, who closed ranks around her when she reached the gate, leaving Bellamy to follow, confused and worried.
"What did he want with you?" Jasper asked Clarke once they were safely inside the drop ship. Clarke sighed, letting Octavia help her lie down on her pallet. "Nothing. He was just showing off, basically. He thinks he as power." She wrinkled her nose. "I think he was trying to apologize for something, though." Octavia snorted softly. "That's Bell for you. He'd never want to do it in public." Clarke sighed as Monty tied her hair back again and tried to help her get comfortable. "It doesn't matter. I'll be fine, guys." She was fixed with three identical looks of disbelief. "Clarke," Monty began gently, "it's okay if you're sick. It's bound to happen sometime." Jasper agreed. "You're not indestructible." Clarke let her eyes fall closed. "I'll be fine. Always am." Octavia crossed her arms. "We'll see, Griffin. I'll be back." She took the boys by the arms and hauled them out so Clarke could get some rest, taking note of the sun's position so she could go check on the girl in an hour.
