sydney and i were coming up with headcanons for our humanstuck au and
i think we were literally drunk
[5:31:59 AM] Noel D.: it is a hobby among everyone to make dave and karkat super flustered it's awful ok
[5:32:03 AM] Squid: yES
[5:32:25 AM] Squid: like i just think of like bro coming to school to pick him up
[5:32:32 AM] Squid: and embarrassing him
[5:32:46 AM] Squid: the car is packed with smuppets
[5:32:51 AM] Squid: dave has to sit in the back
[5:32:54 AM] Noel D.: dave you left your smuppet lunchbox at home
[5:33:00 AM] Squid: because it's so fuckin full of smuppet
[5:33:01 AM] Squid: omtghtig
[5:33:06 AM] Squid: yes he has a smuppet lunch box
[5:33:12 AM] Squid: it's canon
[5:33:22 AM] Noel D.: not a lunchbox with pictures of smuppets on it
[5:33:28 AM] Squid: no it is literally
[5:33:28 AM] Noel D.: a lunchbox shaped like a smuppet.
[5:33:34 AM] Squid: you put the foo din the mouth
[5:33:37 AM] Squid: and pull it out
[5:33:37 AM] Squid: the ass
[5:34:03 AM] Squid: and so dave tries to bring a sack lunch
[5:34:07 AM] Squid: but then bro comes to sxcool
[5:34:08 AM] Squid: like
[5:34:10 AM] Squid: dAVE
[5:34:13 AM] Squid: yOU LEFFT
[5:34:15 AM] Squid: YOUR
[5:34:19 AM] Squid: RUMP
[5:34:17 AM] Noel D.: dave stopped eating for a while after the first few times of pulling hot dogs out of a puppet's ass in public
[5:34:24 AM] Squid: oMFF
[5:37:00 AM] Squid: waht bout jade
[5:42:51 AM] Noel D.: she has fake dog ears
[5:42:54 AM] Squid: omg
[5:42:55 AM] Noel D.: that dave makes fun of
[5:43:21 AM] Noel D.: but one time when she's at his house she's wearing them
[5:43:25 AM] Noel D.: and bro comes in
[5:43:29 AM] Squid: oh no
[5:43:36 AM] Noel D.: and he pulls dave aside later on
[5:43:40 AM] Noel D.: dave.......
[5:43:59 AM] Noel D.: i think i've banged this girl's grandpa
[5:44:04 AM] Squid: oMDGFDHBJK
[5:44:30 AM] Noel D.: he also had those dog ears
[5:44:35 AM] Noel D.: except he also had a collar
[5:44:37 AM] Noel D.: dave just
[5:44:38 AM] Squid: oMHGNO
[5:44:41 AM] Noel D.: sits in his room in silence
[5:44:46 AM] Noel D.: for the next few days
[5:44:46 AM] Squid: and then cries
[5:44:57 AM] Noel D.: jade calls him out of concern
[5:45:00 AM] Noel D.: dave are you okay???
[5:45:07 AM] Noel D.: everyone's been really worried about you!!!
[5:45:20 AM] Noel D.: he can't even look at her anymore
[5:45:49 AM] Noel D.: because all he can think of is his bro doing her sexy gramp doggystyle
[5:45:53 AM] Squid: ik,fjkfmoklvm
[5:46:00 AM] Noel D.: the dog ears were never made fun of again.
[5:48:06 AM] Noel D.: also, i like to imagine whenever dave brings someone home bro's always like "so when're you guys gonna bang"
[5:48:09 AM] Noel D.: no matter who it is
[5:49:10 AM] Squid: dave brings john njole
[5:49:12 AM] Squid: home*
[5:50:04 AM] Squid: bro just
[5:50:08 AM] Squid: watches
[5:50:13 AM] Squid: from his doorway
[5:51:05 AM] Noel D.: john leaves to go to the bathroom for a second
[5:51:10 AM] Noel D.: dave is immediatley cornered
[5:51:36 AM] Noel D.: "Hey." "sup" "There's lube and condoms in the bottom drawer in the dresser in my bedroom." "oh my god"
[5:51:44 AM] Squid: oMFRIKJGh
[5:51:48 AM] Squid: "you go little man"
[5:51:54 AM] Squid: 'bro NO'
[5:51:57 AM] Squid: "shshsh"
[5:52:06 AM] Noel D.: "But if you do it in my bedroom I'm going to throw you off the roof." "oH MY GOD BRO"
[6:04:54 AM] Noel D.: everyone is cuties
[6:06:15 AM] Noel D.: and then there's terezi.........
[6:07:06 AM] Noel D.: terezi would totally be one of the kids that steal other people's food
[6:07:08 AM] Squid: OMG
[6:07:16 AM] Squid: and like
[6:07:29 AM] Squid: people who don't know her would get mad until they realize she's blind
[6:07:48 AM] Squid: but she'd probs never get caught
[6:07:53 AM] Squid: she'd just be like
[6:07:57 AM] Squid: yoink
[6:08:48 AM] Noel D.: every day karkat leaves the lunch table to go yell at kids for one second and every day he comes back to no food
[6:10:00 AM] Squid: OMG
[6:10:04 AM] Squid: poor baby
[6:10:09 AM] Squid: he has to share lunch with john
[6:10:32 AM] Squid: dave tries to make him pull something out of the smuppet ass
[6:11:04 AM] Squid: "if you want food you gotta pull it outta this fine ass here"
[6:11:09 AM] Squid: "NO"
[6:11:30 AM] Squid: "fine go hungry. i'll always have my ass full of food"
[6:12:10 AM] Noel D.: omg
[6:12:33 AM] Noel D.: bro always packs the most phallic food too
[6:12:33 AM] Squid: btu this is only after he resolves to use the smuppet luunchbox ironically
[6:12:38 AM] Squid: hot dogs
[6:12:46 AM] Squid: uhhh
[6:12:49 AM] Squid: bananas
[6:12:56 AM] Noel D.: pickles
[6:13:11 AM] Noel D.: rose always eyes him as he takes his food out
[6:13:17 AM] Noel D.: and she always makes a notation
[6:13:58 AM] Noel D.: "what was that" "What was what?" "that thing you wrote down" "What thing?" "in the notebook dont play dumb lalonde" "Just proof for a theory I have."
[6:14:31 AM] Noel D.: on the top of the page is just REASONS WHY DAVE STRIDER IS A DEEPLY CLOSETED HOMOSEXUAL
[6:14:44 AM] Squid: oMGJF
[6:14:51 AM] Noel D.: karkat occassionally adds to it too
