Do you ever feel like you’re marked by some crazy, mysterious force out there? and somehow you feel cursed?
{DISCLAIMER : I am not some ‘Michael Meyers-ish’ person, if you know who I am, please do not freak out about what I’ll be writing about (gracias)}
All my life I’ve felt different, it was - it still is, a weird sensation - feeling both invisible and bold at once.
"People who are different don’t know they are because they have nothing to compare it to”
That right there - is a direct quote from ’The Bates Motel’ (TV series) when I heard this sentence tumble out of Norman Bates lips, something inside me clicked, in realisation. Is it crazy for me to relate to a psycho-sociopath? For some strange reason I felt almost connected to this character that portrayed so many of my emotions.
Honestly, sometimes I feel like I can do anything. Not like those inspirational/motivational movies that boosts self esteem, but I feel like I could do anything (in all its means)
And that scares me, but I just try, attempt - to stop pondering about it.
Countless times, I’ve asked myself -
Could I be a psychopath? Could I be a sociopath? Am I both?
We all have our own definition of that word, and I know the majority of us immediately picture Anthony Perkins from "Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho knife in hand, with that wicked expression painted - masked on his facial epidermis. I guess the main reason I ask this from myself, some times I feel too much, its almost like pent up anger, but instead of that fluid feeling when anger strikes, it feels almost as if all the blood inside me just turns into this viscous goop.
See, Norman Bates - a 17 year old guy, who has a couple misguided thoughts, do I think he’s crazy? The simple answer is ’No’. Question - If your mother killed someone because they attempted to violently assault her, would you blame her? (mind you, i’m only up to season 2, ep1)
I answer - ’No’ to this as well, I hope I’m not messed up to hold that point of view, but with everything considered, Norman Bates is perfectly normal in that sense. Personally, I would do anything for my parents, if it meant one family secret to keep with me until my last breath, I would do it without doubt.
If that makes me a psychopath - well, then, so be it.
(p.s - after finishing this piece I thought it was worthwhile to take a ’Are You A Psychopath? Test)
(P.p.s - It’s confirmed, I only hold mild psychopathic tendencies! This is good news by the way! So family, friends - nothing drastic is going to happen anytime… soon…)
I am obviously kidding...